Fragments Of A Shattered Moon
by Eternal fire1
Summary: She lies on a pool of blood, piercing him with her eyes. It's too late. Life is already slipping away from her body, and as he stares at her, he wonders if the trouble of saving her is worthy at all. He thinks not. He takes Tenseiga out anyway. SessKag
1. The death of a Miko

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**I'm back!!!!!!!!! First of all, to all the people that read 'Twisted Hearts' and have been waiting for the one-shot I promised...I will write it, but I had to get at least this chapter out of my system. It's been killing me. Oh, and I do hope you like this story as much as you liked the other one. **

**To all those who are new...Well, I can only hope you like my stories enough to stick around until the end.**

**As your when I update, and I'll get this clear from the first chapter...It will be every three weeks (I'll try to make it two), but remember, I have to write the chapter, and then it has to pass through my two editors (Collette and Jane, they are wonderful and will make sure to make this story readable, so love them like I do).**

**Also, this story is far darker than the last one, contains lots of death, lots of torture (maybe), and so on, so I wasn't going to post in on Christmas, but I decided against it. It's my gift to you, hahaha, so I expect a gift back (reviews, people, they make me smile). So, and I think those are all the warnings for now. Enjoy.**

**Disclamer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of its character. (Would I really be writting this if I did?)**

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**Fragments Of A Shattered Moon**

_**The death of a Miko**_

_**She will never, ever, recover from this. It will hunt her, break her, shatter her, and she will never, ever, forget the smell, the noise, the lament of her universe ending. **_

_**She does not wish to survive through this.**_

* * *

_"Inuyasha?" Her voice is low. The others are asleep. She does not want to disturb them. They need their rest. It has been too long since any one of them could get a good night's sleep. Shippo is snoring. Sango's curled up with Miroku with her head on his chest and his hand over her waist. Kagome stares at them with a look of happiness and pain. _

_She is ecstatic that after all they have been through, they've found each other. Through all the fights, near death experiences, and weirdness of it all, they somehow managed to see through the barrier around each other, and found love._

_But love… isn't the word a stab through her very own heart?_

_She wishes, always wishes, for love to find her, but as her attention goes back to the hanyou besides her, his ears alert, waiting for whatever she has to say, she knows love is not for her._

_Not on this Era. Not on her time. Just…not for her._

_"Inuyasha" She starts again, "how long have we known each other?" _

_He tilts his head to the side, rolls his eyes, and smirks. "A long time. I don't know. Keh, why does it matter?" He takes his eyes from her and focuses them on the sky above them. _

_"Inuyasha…" She whispers softly, and his eyes fall from the sky to her again._

_"Three years, 4 months, 1 week, and 5 days." He finally says. He doesn't even have to think about it. He could never be able to forget the day he woke up to a pair of blue eyes and a face he somehow mistook for Kikyo's. He is not sure how he could do that with the eyes so different. However, he knows exactly how long she has been part of his life. Sometimes, and it is not something he would ever say to anyone, he thinks his existence started with her, but Kikyo is always at the back of his head, and so Kagome is more like the start of his second life. _

_Kagome is his second chance._

_"Kagome…" She was the first thing he saw when he awoke. She is the reason why they started this crusade. She broke the spell that held him to a tree, broke the peal that put him on the tree in the first place, and broke the armor he had built around himself._

_She did it all with extreme ease. She just had to exist, to be his Kagome… and the thought of her name is enough to make him feel at ease. She freed him without thinking twice. She broke the most powerful, magical thing ever with a single shot. Passed though all his shields without effort._

_Etched in his very soul is the knowledge of the time they have been in this. And if he is still fighting, it is because of her._

_Nevertheless, he will never tell her any of this._

_"Inuyasha…." And he looks at her with that warmth that makes her heart melt. She pretends, for just a moment, that he loves her as a woman and not as friends, not because she is so much like Kikyo. Before the sadness and longing reaches her eyes, she smiles brightly at him. "I'm turning eighteen tomorrow." She finally says. _

_Inuyasha smirks. "Baka, is that all? I knew that already." _

_He reaches for her hand, letting them linger for longer than necessary, and when he finally lets go, Kagome is left with a tingling feeling and something metallic in it. She opens her hand, finding a cherry blossom necklace. It is small, delicate, with as much detail as it can get. Kagome thinks it would be real if not for the white silver color it has._

_"I…"_

_"It's nothing." Inuyasha is looking at the ground, his cheeks flushed. "It's just something I got last time we were at your time. The owner of the place said it was made with…white gold. I think."_

_Kagome cannot stop her surprised expression. "But that's expensive!" she looks at him through narrowed eyed. "Did you steal it?"_

_He raises his eyes, bursting with anger. "Of course not!"_

_"How did you pay for it?"_

_Their voices are becoming louder. Not one of their companions even stirs. They are used to sleeping through their fights. In fact, they do not sleep quiet so well if they are not fighting. It gives them a sense of normality._

_"I didn't pay for it!"_

_"Then you stole it!"_

_"No!"_

_"Then what?"_

_They are both glaring at each other. There could even be sparks flashing between them both. _

_"The owner gave it to me."_

_Suspicion comes into her eyes. "Just like that?" It is not that she does not believe him. It is just that, in her time, there is no such thing as something coming free._

_"I…" The anger leaves his eyes, and he is blushing again. "I just wanted to give you something, and I came to this store, and you were busy with your school, so I was bored…" He tries to wave his hand, making it an unimportant issue. "I saw the necklace, and the owner gave it to me."_

_"Why?"_

_He sighs in a resign way. "I told him about you, and he gave it to me."_

_Kagome opens her mouth, but she does not have something to say. What exactly did he tell the owner? _

_Then it all means little because suddenly, it hits her. He remembered her birthday, got her something, and it has been three years, but it feels like longer. It feels like he has always been part of her. _

_"Can you put it on?" She asks him, handing him the necklace. He takes it, hesitates for just a second before putting it around her neck without another word, and clasps it. She feels the weight of it against her neck._

_"Thank you,"_

_Little things like these make Kagome think she truly is fighting for something._

_Inuyasha is just glad she liked it._

_The stars keep shining above them. Inuyasha takes her hand, and Kagome wastes her birthday wish on hoping for a love that will never be returned._

--

'It was not supposed to go this way.' She is dying. There is no doubt in that. _'It truly wasn't.'_

She feels so much pain that the pain is not even recognizable anymore. She cannot even point out the places that hurt more than others did. More than a dozen bones are broken. At least three ribcages are cracked. She is sure at least one of them perforated one of her lungs because she has trouble breathing.

Then again, it could be the other dozen injuries she has.

She has to have internal bleeding.

Her vision is getting blurry. She cannot focus anything anymore. She feels cold. The coldness is slowly taking over her body. She is numbing.

Wait. No. She is not; the pain is still very much alive.

What a pity.

Her head feels wet. She probably has a bleeding injury there. For a moment, she wonders how much blood she really has because she is bleeding internally and externally, and it just does not make sense for her to live and bleed so much at the same time. Her left leg twists in an odd, unnatural way. She moves her head to the side, flinches when she sees her blood is tinting the earth under her and surrounding her body.

She thinks it is almost funny.

Her blood is coming out of her body, weakening her, and at the same time surrounding her. The blood that can save her is underneath her, all around her, as if mocking her. It is like bathing a dehydrated instead of letting them drink at least a drop of water. The source that could save her is there, but she cannot take it. It is out of her reach, as many things have been, as Inuyasha has always been…

She cuts that line of thought. She will not think of him now. She cannot. She will not. She refuses to.

Besides, the metallic smell of her blood is reaching her nostrils, making her dizzy. She can smell the damn blood. It is hers, and she cannot have it anymore. To top it all, she can feel it against her skin. It is sticky and uncomfortable. As if she needed more things to make her uncomfortable.

Can't she die comfortable?

If she were to survive this, she would hate color red to the point of not being able to see it ever again.

She knows she will not survive it, though.

Maybe funny is not the right word for this.

Somehow, she has not lost consciousness yet. It is a pity, really, because the events of what had happened keep playing in her mind, and she wants a moment of peace before she dies, but Kami will not give her even that. Someone truly hates her and wants her to suffer until all her precious, stupid, red blood is out of her, inside her in all the places it should not be. She has given her last breath, has seen her last sunset, and has nothing left to offer. However hates her really holds a grudge against her and are truly twisted, evil bastards because they will make her die right in between the sunset, when the sun is red, when the last thing she sees is that horrible color.

Hours, minutes, hours later, Kagome truly hates whoever Gods exist and have put her through this.

Maybe she will go to hell for that. It does not really matter.

She has already lived in hell, and these last few hours have been hell. What occurred keeps playing in her mind, so even right now is hell. Everything is hell. Hell is truly overestimated.

She is not stupid enough to believe that she will have peace in the afterlife. If she has to be truthful, she does not really believe in heaven now. She cannot. Not with all this pain overcoming her. Not with all that happened. Not with what was done to them…

There is only hell for her, and heaven is just one more of those things she wanted to believe in but never really happened.

She feels sorry for all those who still believe. Those people feel sorry for her because she does not believe anymore.

It is a vicious cycle.

She wonders who is more pathetic. She knows she is unhappy.

Her blood keeps slipping out of her body. She tries to remember just how much of it she has, but she did not attend that class. She was busy trying to stop the world from ending. It doesn't really matter anymore, anyway. It is not as if that is going to save her.

'I used to be so innocent.' She thinks. It is true. She was so stupidly innocent she cannot believe it.

She lived filled with hope, and she believed life was full of opportunities. The world would heal. She would live until she was very old. Inuyasha would love her.

It is funny, but she always thought she would die tucked on her bed, warm, old, and fulfilled. Even though she was close to death every day, she always believed she would go in that way. Instead, she is lying on the cold ground. Her blood is her bed. The animals will feed with what is left of her. She will have no tomb, no goodbye speech, and no nothing. The people she loves will not be able to mourn her properly. Most of them died just before her, so there really is not anyone left but her family.

How sad.

Even sadder is the fact that her family will never truly know what happened to her. They will always wonder if she stayed trapped on the other side. They will always wait for her to return. They will never know the truth, but they will hope she is okay, and it crushes her because dead is definitely not okay. Every day, they will wake up hopping that she comes back to them, and she will never be able to. She truly feels bad for them because they will remember her as a cheerful, hopeful, innocent girl, and that is definitely not, what she is anymore.

She specifically does not feel cheerful.

She cannot hope.

'_I am dying, like them before me. I am still losing blood.' _And she hurts and is dying, dying, dying… '_How could I have been so stupid?'_

She should have read the signs. Her story was too fantastic, too unreal to end in any other way than a bad way. It was already too much that her life seemed like some sort of fairytale to end like one, too.

A girl who fell down a well and ended up in the Feudal Era?

_She didn't really understand where she was at first. Suddenly, there were trees, the air felt purer, and everything was so quiet…_

_She felt like Dorothy taken to Oz._

Demons and half demons and pearls that granted wishes?

_There was something weird about this place. It felt strange, her body felt strange, and when that horrible looking creature attacked her, she did not react right away because it all felt like a dream. People didn't get hurt in their dreams, right? As she got a better look at the figure trying to take something out of her body, she wondered if people died in dreams._

The most powerful pearl that ever existed broken by a girl who wanted to prove she was not useless?

_She took the arrow, aimed at the bird, and somehow managed to hit the pearl. That was just pure, bad luck. I mean, the pearl was so small! It was in the bird's mouth! How could she hit it? How could she hit the one spot on the huge bird that she was not supposed to hit at all? It was just like her…_

A quest to get all the pieces of the pink, powerful pearl back?

_Because it was a magical pearl, and this was definitely not real. All the shards had to splatter across Old Japan. The completely rude boy she had just woken up demanded her to help him, more like forced her, to find all the pieces. She could not really say no to him because it kind of was her fault that it had broken, but she couldn't just let him win, so she argued how it was also his fault, and one argument led to another, and she ended up accepting to be his shard detector anyway._

An orphaned fox-demon, eager to have a family?

_It was funny, because she knew Shippo would become part of them as soon as she saw him. He had lost everything, and they could give him something back. So, despite the fact that he was almost useless for their team, they accepted him, took him in, and showed him to be stronger. _

A dead priestess who revived and wanted to kill the one she claimed to be her only love?

_She was not there, and then she was there. She came and ruined Kagome's life. Just when Inuyasha was accepting her, Kikyo came back to life, and of course, she could not come back as a nice, decent miko. No. _

_She had to come back as a mean, bitchy priestess whose only purpose was to get back at the hanyou that would always love her and had never truly betrayed her._

A lecherous monk?

_He was handsome. That was what Kagome first thought when she laid eyes on Miroku. Then the idiot had tried to grip more than was allowed, and she hit him, hard. Inuyasha tried to kill him, and somehow, the grappling stopped. He became part of the family she was forming in the past._

_She could not believe a monk could be so perverted._

A kind demon slayer?

_She was more like an older sister than a hunter of demons That is, except when she used her weapon and destroyed her good share of demons. She fought without thinking twice, always certain. Kagome almost envied her. On the other side, Sango was always there for her. She did not let her fall. She gave her advice, explained things to her no one else bothered to, and was there to support her. _

_Kagome was so very glad she had found Sango._

A half-demon eager for power?

_Naraku could only think of becoming more powerful. At least, that was what Kagome first thought, but then she realized, somehow, Naraku just wanted to belong. She would have pitied him and tried to befriend him if it was not for the fact that he was constantly trying to kill her and the others._

_Pity and thoughts of friendship could really die when one was particularly nasty with you._

Another half demon with dog-ears and eyes like the sun who said he wanted power, too, but really was only looking for a bit of peace?

_She knew from the moment she saw him. He looked so calm, so serene, and the only thing that broke that image was that arrow, so she just had to take it out. She never truly thought it would change her life. It was just a small act! Then life flooded into him, he lost all serenity, and twisted her whole life. He kept saying he wanted the pearl to become a full youkai, but that somehow changed as time progressed, and at the end he did not really say it with the same determination._

A girl from the future trying to make the past right?

_The future was huge. It was great. It was complicated. She loved the future, her present. She did not know anything else. Then she fell down a well into the past, and she fell in love with it, for it offered so much! It lacked many things, but Kagome thought she could look over it all, if just to see her friends once more. Besides, she had a duty to fulfill. _

_She could not live her life at her right time until the past was right again._

It was doomed to end wrong.

How could she be so stupid?

In the last moments of her life with probably seconds, or maybe minutes, if she is unlucky, left, she hates it all.

She hates the well, falling down it, her decision to free the hanyou, the damn pearl, the stupid monk, her idiotic decision to care for a fox-demon, the woman that could have been her sister, the wolf youkai who swore she was his, hates…it all.

Every single decision she made. Every person she met.

She hates, hates, hates.

Maybe she should be more optimistic. She definitely could at least try. There is a bright side in everything. Something good has to come out of this, and it cannot be just for Naraku. She turns things in her head, but really, whom is she kidding? Optimism is too much for her right now. She cannot look at the bright side if things.

She tries to close her eyes, to isolate herself from the exterior, but she has dry blood on them, and now they are stuck to her skin. She doesn't have enough strength left in her body to shut them.

Isn't that hilarious?

Kagome thinks not.

She is taking too much time to die, in her opinion. Could death just hurry and do its job? Her grandfather would be disappointed of her if he could hear her thoughts. He always did say she was the bravest person he had ever known. She had laughed and told him there were braver people than her.

There was Miroku, to start with.

Miroku, who laughed and smiled. Miroku, who truly saw the bright side in everything. The monk, taken away by death the very minute, swallowed by that big hole on his hands that made him strong and at the same time cursed him. Miroku, who had always had a word of counsel, who fought for them regardless of the consequences. Miroku, who knew his time was running out, faster every time he used Kazaana to save them from whatever was attacking them.

Miroku, who waited for death all his life, until it finally took him.

Then there was Sango.

Sango, sweet, caring, Sango, who carried the world on her shoulders. Sango, whose weapon was so, so large, yet she carried Hiraikotsu like it were a feather. The beautiful exterminator who lost her family, her tribe, and then had to fight against her brother. Sango, who went to extremes just to get her brother back, only to end up dead, alone, and unsuccessful at saving her brother. Sango, who had truly been like a sister to her, offering her silent comfort, and who could no longer bring that comfort to anyone else

Because she was…And no, she would not think of that now.

Or Shippo, who never really knew how to fight because he was too small, too young, just a child. A kid who had become orphaned at such a tender age in such a cruel world for lonely persons. He would never have lasted a few months if they had not found him, but they had, and they had given him a surrogate family. Shippo, who could not really do much, would risk his like for any of them in a heartbeat. Her young Shippo, who could have become such a great youkai if only he was given the chance.

And Inuyasha. Always Inuyasha.

Suddenly, Kagome cannot think. She chokes with a pain purely emotional, and hates herself for hating them all even for a few seconds. Kagome wants to cry. If she could, she would, but her body cannot put together enough strength to do that. She cannot. She will not. It will not make a difference.

It is only now, at the end of the road, that she finally understands that tears never make anything better. They bring no solutions. They only leave you dry, weak, and tired. She wishes she had known that before. Wishes someone had bothered to explain that. She wasted so much time crying when she could have been doing something useful…

It would definitely have saved her many nights falling asleep crying.

_'I used to cry for Inuyasha.'_ She thinks.

She would cry for him for hours because she loved him so much, and he did not love her at all. He did not love her as she wanted him to love her.

He loved a dead priestess who wanted him dead. Okay, so maybe at the end Kikyo had not wanted him dead, but she had for such a long time. Kagome had loved him from the start, though, so didn't that earn her points?

She had cried at the unfairness of it all. As months that became years went by, she started accepting the fact that he would never love her. He only had eyes for Kikyo. Eventually, she let go of him. At least, she tried to.

She cried the night she realized her love for Inuyasha was diminishing. She cried when her heart did not want to fly out of her chest when she saw him. She cried when he stopped bringing butterflies to her stomach. She cried when she realized her love for him was still there, as present as ever, but it had subsided to acceptance of unrequited love, slowly becoming a more passive keenness, until Kagome was sure it would be gone.

She cried because she loved him, but that was not important anymore.

Damn it all!

She had had no time to reach the point where she would lose her love for him. She still loved him. She'll die loving him.

She cannot cry for Inuyasha.

She cannot cry for the man she loved, still loves. She cannot shed a tear for the man that swallowed his pride and begged for her life.

She cannot, and if anything, this is the one reason why she deserves everything she is getting right now.

'Forgive me, Inuyasha.'

She wishes wherever he is, he is finally at peace. She hopes he is with Kikyo. She despises her, but Inuyasha loved her, and she loved him in her own way, so they deserve to be happy at least in the afterlife. She wishes the others to be with them.

She truly wishes they could not see her at this moment. She has never looked more defeated, and she has never felt gloomier.

She wonders why Naraku did not finish her off.

Overall, she hopes no one learns what is going on in her mind. Not her family, her friends, or anyone that ever laid eyes on her. They should remember her as a happy creature. Maybe she will join them when she dies. She casts that thought down. Then she laughs, except it hurts and it comes out as a moan of pain. Wouldn't they be somewhere close to hell if she were with them? They deserve better, and maybe she did, once.

She still deserves something good because she has sacrificed so much, left her real life behind, and she was even leaving her body in a time that is not hers. Is that enough? What else can anyone want from her?

Fuck it all.

Yes, she was stupid. Yes, she was naïve and idiotic. However, she tried her best, and she would have gladly suffered all this on her own, a thousand more things than this, if only her friends had been spared.

She is not lucky enough to end up where the rest are going. Someone will mistake her case, and she will end up in a horrible place.

It is a fact, and she accepts it. Who would have thought lying on your own pool of blood would give you another perspective of your actions? Nothing she has done has brought her true happiness. She had once, when she was not dying in such a horrible, painful way, thought that it had all been worthy.

The lost time in her own era. The long walks that blistered her feet. The dark, freezing nights. Days without food. Danger always lurking in the corners, waiting for the right moment to have her.

It had all worth it because she had thought she was making someone happy.

Whom was she kidding?

Now, she knows better.

Shippo wasn't happy. Miroku wasn't happy. Sango wasn't happy. Inuyasha wasn't happy. She wasn't happy.

No one was happy.

There was no happiness. There was only duty and honor and desperation to kill Naraku, complete the pearl, and achieve their utopian dreams.

Kagome's world is becoming darker. The pain is slowly disappearing. She is close to her death.

She can see them all in their last seconds, can see their pain, their sacrifice, she can see them all clearly now that her turn is approaching.

She can recall everything that just happened, and she does not want to, she pushes against the horrifying images with all she has. She wants a moment of peace. She wants to remember them happy. She wishes to forget their last moments. She does not want to remember them when they were all bloodied and dying.

She wants only to remember their good times.

Being near death makes you a bit insane. Unfortunately, it does not make you insane enough to let you forget exactly why you end up the way you do. Why exactly you are dying.

It is a pity; Kagome could really do without the last few hours of her existence.

It is the beginning of autumn. The leaves are starting to fall. The sky is blue. The sun is up high. There is a chilly air, not enough to freeze you, but enough to cool you down. It is a pretty day when she finds herself surrounded by her own blood, minutes left of her existence.

She will not be remembered.

Kagome chokes on her own pain at the realization. All she did, all her sacrifices…

She will not be remembered.

Then, she is confused. The pain, she realizes with shock, is no longer there anymore, and her vision is coming back… what the hell?

Then she sees a pair of golden eyes, and she thinks Inuyasha, but something is those is not Inuyasha, and more shock comes as she realizes it is Sesshoumaru.

She lies on a pool of blood, and he stares at her, watching her with those golden eyes that are so much Inuyasha and not at all him, and she opens her mouth to say something, but it never comes out because death takes her in just that moment.

Kagome is no more.

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**Uff, after months of being absent, the first chapter is over. I think this is going to be one of those long, complicated stories. I'm looking forward to writing it. Anyway, hope you liked it, as always review, and... **

**MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!**


	2. Lament of a King

**I am so sorry for the long wait! truly, truly, sorry, but I had some problems with this chapter (fanfiction wouldn't let me put if up, don't know why) But here it is, and O'm sure you'll enjoy it because it is all Sesshoumaru, and, well, who doesn't love him? So, enjoy it, review, and love you all!**

**Nosferatum: I know it is depressing. It will continue to be a depressinf for at least ten chapters because I need it for the story to continue. However, after that, things will get a bit less depressing, and it will also have humor and romance, but yes, angst is truly important for it. **

**zero-serenity - Hello! Oh, and Sango and Shippo...yeah, only because it is you, hehe, but they are part of the surprises I have for this story.**

**XxBlEeDiNg BlAcK rOsEsXx - Yey! So glad you like the beginning of this story! Some think it is too depressing, but I think its perfect for the kind of story I'm going for**

**blackjack17 - Kagome's dead took me so long to write! I wanted it to be perfect for her, and I do believe I managedto do what I was aiming for, so yey! Thanks!**

**shadowguard - haha, yes, iy truly takes a lot of effort to write a few minutes, maybe some hours, in one chapter, because that is all this chapter is about.**

**tia - Oh, I'm so sorry for the long wait! Hope this is worthy.**

**Kagome357 - Yep, my first review, so I love you! Hahaha, oh, and you loved the last sentence! I think taht was what took me more time to write. I wanted it short, but I wanted it to reflect all the chapter, so I had to do a lot of thinking, hehe. **

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**Fragments Of A Shattered Moon**

_**Lament of a King**_

_**And at the end of everything, all h**__**e had gained, all he had achieved, all he was, was not enough to make up for all he loss.**_

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"We tried…" Horu says through clenched teeth. "It came from nowhere…." The old demon says. Sesshoumaru kneels down beside his advisor, pressing his wound so he doesn't die before he tells him what has happened. Even with his superior hearing, Horu's words are too low and muffled. Life is leaving him quickly. "Everything…" Horu says. "...is gone."

Sesshoumaru is sure, and not at all pleased to know, that he made a mistake.

An irrevocable mistake.

Not even Tenseiga, and Tenseiga can fix the most ultimate of mistakes, death, could fix this.

His golden eyes travel through the ruins of what was once his house, the place where he controlled all of the Western Lands with a firm hand and iron will.

Nothing is left of it.

Walls brought to rocks, gardens plastered with thousands of steps, and what was once magnificent is now no more than ruins. Sesshoumaru calculates the damages with his eyes, at times recognizing a piece of furniture from his room, a face that used to watch him train or cleaned up after him. Not only is the house gone, but the people with it, too. Horu being alive is nothing short of a miracle.

Sesshoumaru hates that his Kingdom has been brought down to one, mere marvel.

He knew everything was gone the moment he entered his lands. He knew it when he approached the first town and the smell of dead welcomed him. It was confirmed once he looked on what was his great domain, which is now ashes. And at the moment, knelt down in front of the only ally still alive, he knows tragedy has somehow fallen upon him.

He cannot understand how something like this could happen to him.

He doesn't know how to progress the fact that everything is gone.

Sesshoumaru Taisho, Great Lord on the Western Lands, has lost absolutely everything that was ever his. His home is gone. His lands are no longer his. The people under him are dead. The powerful youkai takes a moment to wonder how this could have happened when he was only gone a few months. Someone might have betrayed him. What he thought was a powerful guard was flawed. His men could have not been the strongest after all.

Sesshoumaru knows all that is not true.

He watched over his men's training to confirm they were good enough to guard over his territories. He did not choose anyone he was not sure would give one hundred percent loyalty to him and only him, and he killed anyone he doubted of treason. Every man was strategically placed so that if there were an attack, no millimeter would be left defenseless. The fall of his house is huge, something that will change not only his domains, but every province of Japan.

Sesshoumaru knows this has to do with his half brother.

"Who?" he asks Horu who is fighting to keep alive long enough to answer whatever questions his lord has. Even as he leaves the world, he can only think of serving Lord Sesshoumaru.

"He came…with many demons…" The dark events reflect in Horu's eyes. "All of them, with strength not even youkai should have…" His eyes are more dead than alive. "My Lord…" Horu says, because Sesshoumaru, just like his father before him, will always be his Lord, even if he is now Lord of scorched villages, dead subjects, and a destroyed domain.

Someone once said that one born noble could never be anything but that, not even if he fell on misery. Not even when his reign was taken from him by force. Not even when his crown melted. One born to rule would always rule, no matter what. There was no doubt in Sesshoumaru's mind that he would rule forever.

"My Lord, they said they were going for your human girl…"

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrow at that. A lack of visible worry for his land is now shown for a mere human girl.

"Whose men?"

Horu is in agony. He is fighting to keep alive for Sesshoumaru, but the inu-youkai is not kinder because of it. He addresses him with the same controlled, powerful, and demanding voice he has always used.

It is a relief for Horu. At least, he dies with the certainty that the destructor will pay. "Naraku…" Horu says. "He said he was Naraku."

Horu dies, and Sesshoumaru does not as he makes his way to the place he left Rin.

A shadow begins to form over his heart.

He knows he will be too late, but damn it all, it's Rin, and for this little child, he holds hope that shouldn't be there at all.

_***_

"_She is a human!" _

_Someone, Sesshoumaru doesn't really care who, explains, a bit louder that necessary. He fixes his cold stare over whoever dared raise his voice in his presence, and the youkai visibly becomes smaller._

_He doesn't utter a single word. _

"_It's a mistake." Another idiot says. "To allow a human so close to you." Sesshoumaru wonders why he allows such idiots as his advisors. Surely there must be someone more adept? _

_They are having, again, another debate on why he shouldn't allow a human child to be by his side. It is a cold winter, but the room is kept warm by the fire at the fireplace. _

_Eight advisors sit at the rectangular table, with Sesshoumaru at the front. At his right, though not really seen, is Myoga; at his left is Horu, his oldest advisor, who served as his father's left hand, as well. Myoga has always been at the right, though Sesshoumaru really doesn't know how such a coward could be a good advisor. Still, he trusts him. Besides, Myoga knows more about the Taisho family that anyone living. _

"_Your father did that!" the same youkai from before screams. "And look how that ended!"_

_Sesshoumaru's cold stare turns icy as he once more fixes it on the impudent youkai. "You will refrain to make such comments ever again," Sesshoumaru orders. His voice could cut through metal. "It is my wish that she stays with me, and so she will." He fixes his eyes on everyone in the room for at least three seconds before continuing. "Any harm comes to her, and I will personally make sure to make all of you pay for it."_

_Sesshoumaru stands, everyone doing as he does, and he abandons the room with no words. Horu and Myoga follow him. _

_On any other matter, Sesshoumaru would have considered to what they had to say, but Rin is untouchable, and he did not waste his time bringing her from the dead and attempting to make something decent from her just to have her killed again._

_Besides, he thinks of her as his…child. He will never admit it, but he does, and he cannot allow any harm done to his own child._

"_Maybe we should send her away for some time," Horu suggests. The servants press themselves against the walls to make room for the great Sesshoumaru to pass. "Just until they realize she is here to stay, and that will never change."_

"…" _Is Sesshoumaru's answer._

_Horu thinks his Lord is too stubborn for his own good, but that, apparently, is a trait of the family. _

_Myoga accommodates himself at his Lord's shoulder. He already knows the answer._

_Sesshoumaru will not let the human out of his sight unless it is completely necessary. Nothing can change that._

_Myoga believes Sesshoumaru, at least in that, follows his father's footsteps. He hopes it does not lead to the same end._

_Sesshoumaru keeps advancing through the halls of his Western Palace and, unlike what anyone would think of such a great Lord, thinks not of the issue recently discussed or of the problems of his kingdom, but wonders where he left that shiny sword he likes so much. At the training fields? In his room? Maybe he tossed it on one of his walks though the garden? Maybe Kohaku knows…_

_And then his mind wanders to what he will eat at the dinner, and his two loyal advisors are only left to wonder what such a great youkai could be thinking._

_They have no idea._

_Sesshoumaru wonders what Rin would like for her birthday._

***

Sweet, innocent, naïve Rin, will never be able to make something of her life.

She will not grow up. She will not fall in love. She will not travel beside him anymore.

Sesshoumaru has her in his arms. He cuddles her, protecting her from the world for the last time as she slips away unwillingly.

"Lord Sesshoumaru…" She whispers his name with the content and hope from the first moment she learned it. Her fist is clenched. Sesshoumaru's face is blank. Only his eyes show the pain he goes through. She is his. He protects her. He gave her back life. She cannot be taken from him. No one should be able to take her from his side.

Sesshoumaru is ready to take Tenseiga, who he once thought was useless, and bring her back to his side. His father gave him the sword in hopes that his older son would learn a little compassion. Sesshoumaru only feels compassion for the young girl that is dying in his arms. It would be enough for his father. He will even do so for Jaken, who lies dead with fear on his face; he definitely went through torture before he died.

Rin follows his glance. "Jaken didn't say anything," she says. "Neither did I." She is speaking properly, and Sesshoumaru does not like it because it is almost like she is saying goodbye.

There is no reason to do that. He is here. He will save her. She has nothing to worry about because no one will ever harm her again. He will not let them.

He will not fail her.

There are visible marks of torture on Rin's body. The scent of Naraku still lingers in the air, along with the smell of war, mixed with her scent. Sesshoumaru wants nothing more than to take that scent off her.

He will make the half demon pay for this.

For his land, his people, Jaken, and for Rin. Especially for Rin. He will make him pay.

Rin presses closer against him.

"Jaken tried to protect me," she keeps saying. Sesshoumaru wishes to tell her to shut up, to save her strength, but it will not make a difference. As much as he knows about wars and fighting, he knows nothing about healing, and there is no one on his lands left alive. There is no one that can help him. He can only wait for her to die so he can bring her back again. "He truly did. Fought like I have never seen him fight." Sesshouamru can hear the pride in her voice. He wishes to tell her to not worry about the green toad. He will bring him back, too. "And Myoga…" Rin says. "He also tried..."

Sesshoumaru looks down at her, confusion in his eyes. "Myoga?"

"Yes, he tried, but…"

"He escaped?"

Tears come to Rin's eyes. Sesshoumaru doesn't know what he said wrong, and it is only then that Rin opens the hand she had kept tightly shut, and Sesshoumaru takes a look and he can see…

He can see the corpse of Myoga.

"He said if he had to fight, he would do it for something that could save you."

Sesshoumaru doesn't know what to do with all the sensations that take control over him. He is not sure if he should feel proud or sad or just what. He is not used with dealing with so many emotions in such a short amount of time.

In less than a week, he has lost absolutely everything, and he is staring at Myoga's lifeless body, remembering how he always used to run from danger.

But he stayed. He could not do a thing to save Rin, but he stayed.

Sesshoumaru does not know why.

He will never know Myoga stayed because, when he had to decide between his life or staying, he could not run from the screaming Rin, and he just had to stay, even if the price was too high to pay.

It was, and Sesshoumaru, again, thinks he will have to revive yet another person.

Rin closes her hand over Myoga.

"Lord Sesshouamru…" the young child says, "He told me to tell you that he has lived a long time." Sesshoumaru doesn't like where this is going. "And he'd like to keep living some more." Her eyes turn to Jaken. Sesshoumaru almost sighs with relief, almost. "Jaken doesn't want to be brought back." And her eyes finally fix on him, and Sesshoumaru sees an age in her eyes that should not be there, that was not there when he left her less than six months ago, and there is pain and sorrow and desperation, and when she speaks, her voice reflects every inch of the pain visible in her big, large, eyes. "I don't want you to bring me back, either."

Sesshoumaru, for a moment, is left speechless, can't understand the words that are being told to him. Seconds later, anger invades him.

"No," he growls low.

"But…"

"It is not negotiable. Jaken cannot, either."

"It was his last wish!"

Of all the times, of all the things she could discuss, could ask of him, she chooses this. Sesshoumaru doesn't care if she forever holds a grudge against him. He will not comply with this. "It is not negotiable."

"Lord Sesshoumaru…"

"No," He says firmly. It is the voice he uses when he has made a choice and there is no turning back. It is the voice he uses when he _ha_s to be obeyed. Not that he is ever challenged.

Except by his half brother.

And his half brother's almost miko.

And Rin. Definitely Rin.

Rin, the only living being that doesn't care about what tone of voice he uses and is allowed to go against his orders and still keep her head over her shoulders. Rin watches her Lord, who gave her life again. She watches the youkai she will be loyal to forever, observes the demon that has killed innumerable enemies but has always been kind to her, takes a close look at the cold youkai that is holding her in his arms, trying to comfort her even though she knows he never comforts.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, Naraku is…" She coughs up blood. "...too powerful." Her eyes are losing focus, but she cannot die yet. She has to tell him. "He…wants the shards…Kagome…find Kagome before it is too late…"

She takes a look at the man that became her father and that she will always love, and she knows she cannot stay alive. She cannot be resurrected.

For Lord Sesshoumaru's own good, she has to die. Her existence has to be erased from this world.

"Lord Sesshoumaru…" She tries again, though she is not sure how to start. She doesn't know how to explain to him exactly why she can't stay by him. She did promise, once, to never leave him, and she is truly sorry for breaking that promise, but her Lord is more important, and she is nothing compared to him. He, and only he, can stop the madness that is about to rise, and he does not need her at his side.

He needs someone else, another human that could never be her.

"I won't hear it, Rin," Sesshoumaru says, but he says her name, and Rin knows it's a sign that whatever words she says, his ears will receive them. Rin allows herself a moment of happiness at this, because she very well knows Lord Sesshoumaru can turn anyone he wants off without effort.

The words she speaks next are words Sesshoumaru wishes he could block.

Years from now, they will follow him, haunt him, and pain him in a way no wound could ever do.

"Why..." the young girls asks, and Sesshoumaru can't believe how mature she is, and could months really do this much in a human? "…do you think Naraku left me alive?"

And it suddenly hits Sesshoumaru that Rin should be dead, just like the rest of them, because surely Naraku knew her death would be the most painful, and how, in the first place, did Naraku manage to grow so powerful? Something is not right. He senses for danger, but there is nothing alive.

There is only Rin and himself.

But why is she still alive?

Her wounds are several. She has lost much blood. She is only a human, and Naraku would have no pity of her, so why is she still alive?

The hand that is not holding Myoga clenches over his clothes.

"Feel."

He does, and he wishes he hadn't.

Because he understands what he could not before, and the dreaded truth washes over him, leaving him numb all over.

Because Rin is alive only because Naraku wants her to.

She is alive because, the bastard, gave her a little of himself to keep her alive, and Sesshoumaru does not want to believe it. Wants to ignore the truth because it means he will have to do something he truly does not want to, and he is not used to doing things he does not want to, and this is Rin! This is his daughter! This is the human he fought over countless times with his advisors! The one he almost went to war with some allies over! This is the child he swore to protect. The one child he killed many demons over.

She is his weakness.

The only weakness he ever allowed himself, and she can't…

"He'll take possession of me," she says, and through Sesshoumaru's head, images of Kohaku, who he has no idea of where he is, pass through his head. He remembers that demon hunter, always searching for her brother so she could kill him.

He can see Rin's future.

Naraku will take over her, make her fight him, and Sesshoumaru will not have the strength to fight her back. He will die by the hands of the one human he allowed close to him.

He can see in Rin's eyes that she knows this, and she will not let it happen.

"If I live…" she says… She smiles at Sesshoumaru. "You have to kill me before it's too late."

Sesshoumaru slowly takes Tokijin out. His face loses the mask, allowing Rin to see the pressure and pain his actions will bring him, _are_ bringing him, will always bring him.

But she only keeps smiling at him.

***

_She takes care of him because he has pretty hair, he is wounded, and he has no one else to look after him. _

_She doesn't have anyone else either._

_She brings him water and what little food she can find. She tends to his wounds, and even though the youkai didn't want her close to him, now he allows her, and she feels so happy about it._

_She doesn't even think she shouldn't be the one feeling gratitude, but him._

_She brings him a white flower and smiles, even though she doesn't have all her teeth, before a green thing throws her out._

_A few days after that, she finds herself running as fast as she can, and she knows it will not be enough._

_She yells when she feels a bite through her shoulder, cries out as the other wolf youkai fall upon her, and thinks of the youkai she helped._

_She can only hope he liked the flower she left for him._

_And when she wakes up, that same youkai is there, and she just knows he somehow managed to help her, and she smiles again, with all her teeth._

_The loyalty she feels is genuine. He allows her to stay by his side, and she speaks again and never gets tired of chanting his name._

_She is so, so lucky to have found him._

_Because she knows, can feel it on every single one of her little bones, that he will protect her, never let anything happen to her. Guard her from nightmares and evil people and the dangers of this world._

_She is not orphaned anymore._

_She has family._

_She can be in this world with someone that care for her and will look after her, and it feels so good to finally have someone by her side again…_

_Rin has Lord Sesshoumaru._

***

"Sesshoumaru…" young Rin whispers, without the title for the first time ever.

Sesshoumaru yells, allows his grieve and pain and anger to take over him as he stabs the only human he ever cared for, and he yells and yells and yells, trying to get it all out as her body becomes cold in his arms.

But the pain he feels refuses to leave him or diminish.

He realizes it was not time that made his child mature. It was tragedy.

He'll bring tragedy to Naraku.

***

After killing Rin, Sesshoumaru had to run.

It displeased him to have to run from his own lands, no less, but there were too many demons, too many enemies thirsted for his blood.

As much as he longed for revenge, it was not the time.

Sesshoumaru still killed as many youkai and hanyou and humans and anything that crossed his path as he could, but at the end he had to throw himself to the river in order to escape, and he still had to kill his way through the water.

But he made it.

He is Sesshoumaru, after all, and they can take everything from him except his strength. He can kill in his sleep, and just because there were so many strong ones doesn't mean they represented a menace for him.

Naraku seems to prefer quantity over quality.

Sesshoumaru is not surprised.

He passes through villages that used to be his, through lands he used to have under his control, through the legacy his father, and later he had built, and Sesshoumaru escaped. In less than a week, he found out he not only had lost all his father had left to him; he had not just lost all he had built and fought to keep.

He had lost the most devoted servant, who he could not bring back after Rin was dead. He had lost Jaken. The greed toad had always been by his side, and now he was dead. Sesshoumaru could only imagine what kind of death he had. He saw the body. He had felt the force of his enemies. Jaken never stood a chance.

He almost didn't bring Myoga back, grief making it hard to revive anyone but Rin. He did, thought, at the end, because if he is ever going to kill that bastard Naraku, he needs a plan, and he needs someone that has been in the world longer than him.

There is only Myoga. The tiny youkai better find him fast. He brought him back, but he could not stay and watch him open his eyes when Rin would never do such a thing again.

Rin…

He killed Rin. He would rather she killed him than him her, but that would have broken her, and she was already broken.

He had not wanted to taint her anymore, so he had taken his demonic sword and had

killed her quickly

He had stayed until her body iced in his arms.

He had buried the two of them together and proceeded to run. Sesshoumaru had never felt more alone and lost and desperate. And hadn't he always wanted to be alone? The irony of it all.

'_So many wars…"_ He muses. _'So many years training, becoming stronger, achieving the impossible, raising the name of my family…' _

All the things he had done. All the things he had not allowed himself to feel.

So much loss.

He has never felt more useless.

'All I was…' he thinks darkly, 'forever gone.'

He is smart. He knows he will never gain back what is now lost. No amount of fighting will ever bring it back. Even winning against Naraku will not be enough.

He doesn't want any of it back, anyways.

He doesn't want a title or lands or people to order around. He has no need for riches or power. He cannot care for those things anymore.

Not when he had to kill Rin. Not when Horu fought to stay alive just to warn him. Not when Myouga and Jaken fought to try to save her.

Sesshoumaru feels a coldness he has never felt before invade him.

He has nothing, absolutely nothing left, and he has always had something…

Sesshoumaru only wishes revenge. He only wants Naraku's blood to be running through his claws. He wants to inflict as much pain to him as he feels right now. Maybe the pain is clouding his senses. Maybe Sesshoumaru doesn't care anymore. He only cares about how he will kill Naraku, how much damage he will inflict upon him.

And he should pull himself together because everywhere he goes, there is Naraku's flag, and it would take an idiot to not notice that, somehow, Naraku has taken over the world.

Sesshoumaru thinks maybe he has gone insane, and along the many things that keep crossing his mind, there is one question.

How the hell could this happen?

He wants to turn himself in only so he can get close to Naraku and kill him.

But he can't.

He may not care about anything anymore, but he still cares about Rin, and before she died she asked him to go find his half brother's miko, and he will do it, if only to honor her memory. Besides, he did promise that fool of his half brother…

Rin is dead.

Sesshoumaru wishes he could numb all the emotions running through him.

He only wants to kill Naraku.

He only wants Rin by his side again.

He only wants Jaken to be a nuisance just once more.

He only wants to watch the flea run for his life like he always used to.

Except when he didn't, and look where that ended.

Sesshoumaru doesn't care for allies anymore. He doesn't care for power. He

doesn't have the energy to care for anything. He only has this void in his head and this thirst for revenge and blood that are so enraging that he cannot…

Can't…

The aroma of blood fills his nostrils again. Sesshoumaru's eyes narrow. It seems he has not only lost everything that was his, he has also lost his last remaining relative.

Inuyasha's blood is in the air, along with all of his companion's blood.

Along with Naraku's smell.

It seems he is too late.

How exactly did Naraku manage to destroy all that was his and then come and destroy all that was Inuyasha's?

"Damn it…"

He snaps his head to where the noise comes from, quickly makes his way over, only to find the miko, the one Rin told him to look for, lying in a pool of blood, seconds from dying.

She looks so fragile and scared and angry…

She looks too young to die, and he can't help but remember Rin, and Rin would want him to save her, but he could not do that for Rin, was not allowed to save Rin, to bring her back to life, had to kill her with his own sword, but he was asked by his child to save this human, and he doesn't know why, but Rin wanted to..

Rin always did like her.

How can he save this miko when he couldn't save Rin?

She lies on a pool of blood, piercing him with her blue eyes. He knows he is too late. Life is already slipping away from her body. Her blood is everywhere. Her eyes are starting to dull, and she has to do a lot of effort to bring air into her lungs.

She isn't fighting back.

He can read her story in her eyes. He can read her pain. He can read how tortured her mind and body is. He can read her want to die, and as he stares at her, he wonders if the trouble of saving her is worthy at all.

He thinks not.

But he promised.

He promised a young girl that was the most important thing to him. He promised his child, who he was too late to save, too late to avenge, too late to do anything.

He promised to save this excuse of a human to a child who will never have the chance to grow up, to love, to live, to have wrinkles, to…

He also did make that promise to his half brother who, by the looks of things, suffered a dead full of agony.

She lies on a pool of blood, and he stares at her, wondering is the trouble of saving her is worthy at all.

He thinks not.

He takes his father's legacy out anyway, the sword already shaking in its sheath.

* * *

**Thank you very much for waiting for this chapter! Hope you enjoyed it, and yes, I know the story is depressing. It will probably continue, but it will also have romance and humor and way too many surprises. Trust me, I have some ideas for this, and it will be filled with turns. Oh, and as for last chapter, I know I left it confussing, but that was what I intended, and I'm not saying more. It's all a surprise. Love you all, and review, review, review!!!!!**


	3. Sleeping Miko

**Hey there! I was going to update this yesterday, but iy was my birthday (OMG, I'm now 20), and I just didn't find the time, but here it is, review, and do enjoy it! Oh, and for all those that have been telling me this story has a lot of drama...I'm afraid it'll continue having a lot of drama. I mean...we don't even know what is going to happen to Kagome (she cna still be dead and all) But it will have some humor, it will definitely have romance (because, come on, it is Sess/Kag, and I have so many great ideas for this couple I don't even know where to start, and they have such a hard path because, you know, they don't hate each other, but they dislike each other, and there are so many things that are so different...it's hard to change their personalities and still leave them close eto their real ones, but, you know, they can't stay the same people, not with everyting that has happened, and I truly should stop babbling.**

**I'll just leave you to read.**

**Kairou Watoshimi****c – Thank you so much! Yes, it takes a lot of effort, but I think it's worthy at the end. **

**Tsuki-kiba**** – Yes, it would be his by default, but Sesshoumaru can walk away from it all. I mean, no one can force him to rule his lands if he doesn't want to. Actually, no one can force Sesshoumaru to do anything. But who knows? This story is going places I don't even know.**

**m. Sheldon – Actually, to are completely right. All my stories have something in common with Resmiranda's work. You know, there is just one writer that really sticks to you, and 'Tales From The House of the Moon' was my first Sess/Kag, so yes, all my stories have hits on that. I can't help it. I do try to be as original as possible, hope it is working.**

**Nosferatum - Expect a lot more of drama, but I will try to have some light chapters, you know, to even up the angst ones, but the beginning…yes, lots of drama.**

* * *

**Fragments Of A Shattered Moon**

_**Sleeping Miko**_

_**Take your time. Don't open your eyes. Wake up not. Get lost in your dreams. You will not like what awaits you.**_

* * *

Kaede almost dies of surprise when he first appears before her.

She thought it rather inconsiderate of the youkai to just appear out of thin air and nearly give her a heart attack. Her strained elderly heart could not take so many surprises, and considering what had just happened less than two weeks ago, he should have some consideration.

She wisely says none of this to him, however.

Sesshoumaru steps into the cave. He carries something over his shoulder. Kaede tries to see what it is, but the position of the bundle doesn't allow it.

She stares at him through tired eyes. He stares right back through gold and alert ones.

Neither says anything.

Kaede knows life is full of surprises and turns, but this is beginning to go through the line of what is right and what is ridiculous. She has no idea as to why Sesshoumaru, of all beings, would be at her, eh, new home. Kaede takes a moment to look around the cave that does not even have a fire. She could not make one.

Her bow and arrows are a few feet from her, but Kaede doesn't even glance at them. Even if she did get to them before Sesshoumaru got to her, she doesn't have the energy to fend off such a strong opponent.

She didn't even have the strength to go against the youkai that attacked her village. Too many, too fast, and she was just too old. She never stood a chance. The villagers never stood a chance, and if she is alive, it is merely because she had been knocked unconscious. She supposed since she was already covered in too much blood, the youkai had left her to die.

But she hadn't, and now she is here, scanning her new 'home', with Sesshoumaru, of all people, still at her entrance.

"Would you like to come in?" she says finally. After all, just because she doesn't have good accommodations, doesn't mean she cannot be a good host, and just because Sesshoumaru can rip her heart out of her body in one swift movement, doesn't mean she should not show some manners.

Sesshoumaru stares at her, not moving. If she didn't know better, she'd say he is uncomfortable, but the idea of someone like him being uncomfortable by any means is unrealistic.

Kaede is feeling annoyed. She stares a little more at the youkai, and then she decides to leave all courtesy aside.

After all, the world has already done a 360 degree turn; what was once up is now down. An insane maniac has taken it, and children are dying, blood tints the rivers red, and nothing really matters anymore.

If Sesshoumaru wants to make the situation more difficult, then it is fine with her.

Kaede is old and tired.

Her instincts are already losing strength, along with her sight. Her voice is growing lower, raspier, and only her hearing seems intact. She lost the village she tried to protect since Kikyo died…the first time, woke up to find there were no survivors. The sweet Kagome is also dead, along with the rude hanyou she learned to appreciate. Sango and Miroku are dead. Shippo is dead. Kikyo is more than dead, and this time Kaede is sure it is definite.

Everyone is dead, except her, the old and weak, and if the things she has heard are anything to go by, she won't have the strength to keep herself alive.

"Or you can freeze there, Lord. Whichever suits you better."

Kaede turns her back to him, a clear sign that she does not give a damn anymore.

And then he talks.

"I am not a Lord anymore." He says it as fact, like he doesn't care about that loss. "And this temperature is nothing to me."

'_Everyone is dead.'_ Kaede thinks suddenly, watching the great youkai in front of her, and for the first time she notices that there is no little girl hopping up and down next to him, and there is no green toad offering to kiss his feet.

He is alone, like her.

Everyone is dead.

Kaede takes a moment to mourn the losses of the great Lord, imagining he would not do so for himself.

Her attention fixes on Sesshoumaru as he steps into the cave. It's been a while since she last saw him, and she is surprised to see that his arm has almost grown back. He catches her staring but says nothing.

Sesshoumaru gracefully takes the bundle from his shoulder and lets it drop to the floor.

Kaede's eyes grow wide as she realizes exactly what the bundle is.

And just like that, Kagome is back.

***

_He slices the spirits trying to take her soul from her body. His movements are slow, bored, but he still does them efficiently._

_But she doesn't wake up._

_She stays right where she is, unmoving. For a moment, her chest does not even give the signs that her lungs are functioning._

_Then, he hears it, faint at first, but slowly becoming stronger. _

"_Tum-tum. Tum-tum. Tum-tum…" _

_And her heart beats. Her mouth opens. She gasps, inhales, fills her lungs with air, and her chest is finally moving up and down._

_But she doesn't move._

_She just stays there, still, only now she's not dead. She is just sleeping._

_Sesshoumaru stares at her for a long time, as if expecting her to wake up and say _

'_Oh, thank you, Great Lord Sesshoumaru, for bringing me back to life.' Never mind that he is not, technically, a Lord anymore. It seems, however, that she is too lazy, ungrateful, or disrespectful to do that. _

'_Rin would be dancing at my side, at this point.'_

_Sesshoumaru quickly takes that thought from his head._

_Rin will never be able to dance or fall or run behind him. She won't breathe like this miko. He won't hear the sounds of her pounding heart. The rhythm of this miko's heart isn't even close to Rin's rhythm, and Sesshoumaru takes a quick moment to miss Rin before putting her out of his mind again._

_He has to avenge her before he can mourn her, and Rin had told him to bring the miko back to life. And as the miko currently does nothing useful for his goal, Sesshoumaru wonders why in the world Rin would ask him to bring her back. Rin always liked her, but that is not a good enough reason to make him lose time._

_His eyes narrow._

_How could Rin know the miko would need to be brought to life?_

_Rin is dead, so it is completely impossible to know the answer. _

_His best guess is that having some of Naraku in her, she could sense what he was doing, or what he was about to do, therefore giving her that insight._

_Sesshoumaru hates not knowing._

_He can smell something fishy in the air. He stretches all his senses. The hairs at the back of his head stand up. _

_Before the demons can even move, before they even know he is moving, Sesshoumaru takes out his sword, jumps to the closest tree, and chops off a youkai's head. The demon is not even completely dead, but Sesshoumaru is already moving, finding his next enemy, killing it, too. He turns his head to his next enemy, slices the body in two, and as it splits it half, he sees a fourth youkai hustling to stab the miko. Sesshoumaru grabs his neck and snaps it._

_He did not spend the last five minutes bringing her back to life only to do it again. Rin wouldn't have wanted her to die again. She would have been sad._

_Sesshoumaru has to stop thinking about Rin before it drives him mad. He has to stop hearing her laugher, stop expecting to see her every time he turns his head. Sesshoumaru has to concentrate._

_Other youkai are coming. The miko's blood is in the air along with the smell of dead, and it is drawing more youkai. The four youkai he just killed were just the beginning. They were predators, hunters, and they had made the mistake of believing they could hunt Sesshoumaru. Others seem to want to make the same mistake. Sesshoumaru would gladly kill them all._

_The miko, on the other hand, is certainly prey material. She has, after all, already died once. _

_He takes the human with a quick move, throws her over her shoulder, and once more prepares to run._

_He's starting to hate this, but it seems every damn youkai alive wants to eliminate either him or the miko._

_The sleeping idiot has no idea what is happening around her._

_Sesshoumaru almost envies her, but he would not sink low enough to do such thing. _

_So instead, he runs though the woods and branches, and even once through a lake, and is left full of dirt and scratches. He cannot help but think that following Rin's last wishes was not such a bright idea._

_After all, it did include killing her and saving the miko. _

_And he has absolutely no idea where to go to from here, and he needs a place where he can take the stupid, sleeping, miko._

_Who would have known? Someone can annoy him without even having to be awake._

_***_

"So you decided to look for me?" she asks him as she takes a seat on a rock.

A small fire that threatens to go off at any minute finally warms the cave. Sesshoumaru sits in front of her, stone still. He sighs, as if preparing himself to do a very dreaded deed.

Kaede supposes speaking can be one of the few dreaded things for the Lord of the Western Lands.

Wait, make that the ex-Lord of the Western Land. And she supposes she would be the ex-miko of her village, since everyone in it was slaughtered, and anything that was left was, well, Kaede won't go into that.

Kaede allows a small smile to grace her face as she thinks that of all three of them, Kagome is the only one that can still hold her title.. After all, the Shikon no Tama still exists, so Kagome is still its miko. Sesshoumaru thinks her smile a bit creepy.

Never mind someone sent Kagome's whole team into oblivion, or that she died, was brought back to life, and still has not awoken. Never mind that Kaede thinks Kagome would _rather_ be dead than alive. It doesn't matter what any of them want anymore.

Because Kaede is here, in front of Sesshoumaru Taisho, who does not intend to kill her, and Kagome is close to the fire, sleeping through these changes, and when she wakes up, all she knows will be gone, and she will be asked to, somehow, fix it.

Kaede wants Kagome to go home, but she doesn't know if that is ever going to be possible again. She doesn't know if Kagome's ethics will allow her to leave.

Maybe Kaede will just throw her to the well and seal it while she is at it. She wishes, sincerely, that it could be possible.

But it is not.

They need Kagome.

"I.." Sesshoumaru begins to say, trying to calculate what the possibilities of having to explain himself to this miko were. "…am here because I…"

And what are the possibilities of becoming speechless?

The ancient miko finishes his sentence with a smile.

"…could not think of anywhere else to go?"

Sesshoumaru opens his mouth to defend himself, to tell her that of course not, he could go to any damn place in the whole Japan, and they would be honored to have him.

Except anyone honored to have him is either dead or has betrayed him, so that does not really count as a counterattack.

"I suppose you know what is going on?" he asks instead.

Kaede's smile is still firmly in place.

"Well, youkai, of course I know what is going on." Her smile turns more guarded than creepy, and her eyes are more alert than dangerous all of a sudden. "You have no idea, do you?"

Sesshoumaru does not move, but his eyes have sharpness in them that make Kaede uncomfortable. Not scared, just guarded. In the last weeks, she has passed through even more than in her whole life, and that is saying something.

She watched her older sister die, lost an eye in the process, had to become a somehow decent miko from night to morning, became attached to the incarnation of her dead sister, came face to face with the sister that was long dead and somehow ended up feeding on others' souls.

Definitely a lot.

Nothing could have prepared her for what destiny had prepared for her village.

Kaede doesn't know who could write such a cruel fate for such a small corner in the world. Then again, it seems it was not only her small village; even the great Sesshoumaru's lands and people have been taken from him. Slaughtered. Great, just what they needed, a massacre over all of Japan.

"What…" Sesshoumaru says, completely aware that the miko in front of him has zoned him out, "is going on?"

'_And how the hell do I not know?'_ Sesshoumaru wonders.

He should know. He was in a position to know. He traveled for some time with Inuyasha's group, hoping to meet Naraku, kill him, and go back to his home, to Rin. Then, one of his servants came, scared like never before, with wounds that would never heal, and had dropped to his knees, telling him his lands were being attacked. He had died before he could tell Sesshoumaru who was attacking them.

Sesshoumaru had left the group without lingering for one moment, though, and had made his way back to the Western Lands. It had not taken him much time to get there, a little over two weeks, but by the time he had arrived there, he had been too late. There was not one village left standing. Not one soul, except Horu and Rin, to give him any clues to what had happened.

He had been reduced to the last words of two dying beings and the scent of Naraku over every inch of what had once been his.

It seems odd that he cannot find it in himself to care for the loss of his lands. He had not been in them for a long time, anyway, and he had always hated to have idiots all around him, getting in his way, rather than helping him out. The only great losses he had were Jaken and Myoga. They had been useful.

And Rin, who had not once been useful, but her loss is so great he has no space for any other losses.

Maybe that is why he did not care for his title or lands.

Or maybe he does, but his want for revenge of Rin clouds all else.

Kaede passes a wet cloth over the miko's forehead.

"Well, Sesshoumaru…" Because, really, in the position they are at, there is no space for formalities. "It seems _everyone_ miscalculated the enemy."

Sesshoumaru raises an eyebrow.

Kaede mutters something about 'not very chatty' before continuing.

"We knew Naraku had most of the Shikkon No Tama," she says. Sesshoumaru nods. "But we didn't know he could use them." Sesshoumaru, not for the first time in the last days, feels greatly confused, an emotion he is not content having. "He found a way, through a witch, to use the shards he had. He…wished to be the most powerful being on this planet, and he…did."

Kaede can see the red eyes of the demons that attacked her village, and she can see the evil eyes of the she-demon she thought had died.

"He became so strong, he even managed to bring Kagura back, and she is now, as far as I'm concerned, only loyal to him. He recruited most of the youkai and hanyou, and even some humans. He is hunting down every miko. He does not want them on his side. He simply wants them dead." Both their eyes turn to Kagome, who is definitely a miko, and not just any miko, she is the Shikon's miko.

Sesshoumaru suddenly understands why Rin wanted him to look for her. She can feel the remaining shards, and she can eliminate the pearl. She, to his utter disbelief, is the only thing between Naraku and total domination of the world.

The world's future does not gleam too bright.

"It's not only your lands, though I would have thought you would have been able to keep him away."

"I was too late."

"I…see."

"What does he have control of?"

Kaede lets out a humorless laugh.

"Everywhere. He has power everywhere. The ones who don't follow him are either dead or scattered, hiding."

"Hiding?"

"You saw Inuyasha," she says. Sesshoumaru stares blankly at her. "You didn't?"

Sesshoumaru decides saying nothing is his best shot. "Naraku tore every single limb from his body, and that was before he killed the others. Inuyasha had fought him several times, but Naraku hadn't ever been close to killing them. Severely damaging them, yes, but never killing them."

Sesshoumaru nodded invisibly. He knew Inuyasha's group, against any predicament, had been strong enough to survive. Sesshoumaru had always thought it was merely luck.

It seemed the luck had run out.

"Do you know who else died?"

Kaede sighs.

"From what I have heard, a youkai named Totosai, everyone on Kikyo's side, the Lord from the Northern, Southern, and Eastern Lands, and…well, the list is long."

"Add all my allies. The ones that are alive are now my enemies."

Kaede just nods.

"The pieces of the pearl that were in Inuyasha's possession?"

"In Naraku's possession."

"How many pieces are left?"

"My best guess is one."

Sesshoumaru's eyes bore into her.

"I have a very good informant, though he left as soon as I told him Kagome was dead."

"She was."

"Excuse me?"

"She was dead. I brought her back to life."

And isn't that a surprise?

"Why?" Kaede is curious. As far as she knows, Sesshoumaru has no interest in her.

"I have my own motives."

"Mmmm."

"…"

"How long has she been like this?"

'This' being practically living-dead.

"Does it usually take this long to wake up?"

Sesshoumaru frowns at this. "No."

"How long since you brought her back to life?"

"Four weeks."

"Truthfully?"

"Yes."

"And she has not woken up?"

"No."

A long silence stretches between them, until finally Kaede grunts.

"Why did you come here?"

Sesshoumaru almost grins. "I had nowhere else to go." He stands up and stops before leaving the cave. "I'll take the guard for the night." He turns his face to look at her. "Who do you think has the last remaining shard?"

She smiles. "Now, now, what kind of person would I be if I told you who my informant was?"

Sesshoumaru barely manages to hold his surprise.

"Is this person still alive?" After all, it seems everyone is dropping dead now a days.

"Yes, but I do not know where he is. I do not know if he has the shard anymore."

Sesshoumaru understands. Everything is shaky. He has had his month of running away to confirm that. He hates running away. He is going to kill Naraku.

"And Tetsusaiga?

Kaede looks down.

"With Naraku."

Definitely kill the bastard. Anger invades Sesshoumaru. The look on his face becomes more edgy, dangerous, and his eyes are darker, golden, turning into lava. He steps out of the cave before he loses himself and kills someone he should not…

Kaede stops him.

"I'll help you grow the rest of your arm back," she says "You'll need it."

Sesshoumaru leaves.

Kaede makes her way over to Kagome's body that Sesshoumaru has carelessly shoved down.

She tenderly places an old hand over young skin.

"Take your time waking, child," she whispers to her. "Take your time before you open your eyes to this nightmare."

Kaede wishes to protect the girl that came out of nowhere, brightening her days, giving her new hope. As soon as she wakes up, no one but a cold, angry demon by the name of Sesshoumaru will be able to protect her, and it breaks her heart because Kagome should always be cared for, and Sesshoumaru will never be able to do it.

Life is unfair, and this shouldn't have happened.

It is wrong.

Kaede mourns for the child that refuses to wake up.

And Kagome, silently, keeps breathing.

Two months.

It's been two months since he brought her back to life, and she still refuses to wake up.

Sesshoumaru is becoming very impatient. Not only did he have to run away, evading anything that breathed and killing every being that got on their way. He also had to explain himself to that old miko, he has been living in a cave for the last month, and she refuses to wake up.

It is as though she refuses to open her eyes to the tragedy that has fallen upon this Earth.

He cannot really blame her for that, but still…

Two months, and not a sign of movement.

Sesshoumaru wonders how Kaede has managed to keep her body from functioning when she has not done anything but…be useless.

A total waste of time.

He has been trying to convince himself for the last hour that she is disposable, and he does not need her help to find the remaining shard.

Unfortunately for him, this has already proven wrong. He tried, a week after he arrived at Kaede's, to look for the remaining shard, but felt nothing. The only beings he found were on Naraku's side. Anyone else was simply dead or hiding, just like the old hag had said.

He decided his best shot was to wait until Kagome woke up.

Everyone was petrified, and the world was dead under Naraku's reign.

What kind of idiot would like to rule in a world like this?

The answer is simple: Naraku.

Sesshoumaru should not feel surprise at all.

He sighs as the sun hits his skin. They are well into winter. Sesshoumaru is in a clearing, meditating away from the cave.

If he was to be sincere, he is here because the old miko thought Kagome would like some fresh air. How someone that has not opened their eyes in two months could possibly want something is beyond Sesshoumaru.

He looks at Kagome, peacefully sleeping. He has become familiar with her scent and her presence after guarding her for two months. He started thinking about her as Kagome after deciding that using 'miko' for both…mikos would simply not work.

He knows nothing about her, though, and he is in no hurry to find out.

He still thinks it is unfair that she gets to live while Rin is long dead.

He can only hope she has not made him lose time. The only things he can remember about her are that she always got into trouble and someone always came to her rescue. He has no idea if she is strong, or if her abilities as a miko are good at all. Considering she somehow managed to tame his wild excuse of a half-brother, he supposes she has some qualities.

Waking up, though, is not high on her list.

Sesshoumaru glares at her, as if that alone would be enough to make her wake her.

She does not catch the hint, and continues to sleep.

Sesshoumaru glares some more at the sleeping figure.

Injustice.

This is completely unjust.

He put her over the snow because there was nowhere else. She is wearing too many blankets to care, anyway, and Kaede dressed her in an oddest coat he has ever seen. When he asked about the strange clothing, Kaede had just said Kagome came from a very peculiar place.

Sesshoumaru knows when to ask no more. Besides, going by the way she had said it, the old miko didn't know much about wherever Kagome came from.

Not that he cares, so long as she wakes up.

Frustration is just one of the many things he is not good at dealing with.

He turns his face from her to their surroundings, doing his usual checks.

How did he go from Lord of the Western Lands to nanny of an idiot who is too lazy to wake up?

'_The world,'_ he thinks, _'is doomed if it rests on her hands.'_

Sleeping is definitely not a good start in what looks like the beginning of a long, long, path.

Already, Naraku's reign is all over Japan, starting to leave the island. It seems there's no stopping it.

Sesshoumaru's hatred for Naraku is endless.

However, no one has come to look for the young miko, or him. Sesshoumaru's only guess is that the hanyou thinks she is dead, which wouldn't really be a bad conclusion.

She is only alive because he brought her back, but he killed anyone who even caught a glance of him and her.

And him…Naraku is likely assuming Sesshoumaru has laid low. With the power fever he must be having, maybe he even thinks he has given up.

But he hasn't, and he will get his revenge.

He looks at the miko again, with her black hair and her white skin. She almost remains him of Rin, except much older.

She has an air of Rin that he does not like, and again thoughts of his little child leave a bitter taste in his mouth.

This girl should not be allowed to live while Rin has died, but keeping Rin alive was not an option, and she had asked…

Rin had been his weak point. He had never been able to deny anything to her. He would look at her with those innocent eyes that trusted him over everything.

They had even trusted him when he killed her.

Maybe Naraku isn't looking for him because he thinks he has gone insane.

Sometimes, Sesshoumaru thinks he _has_ become insane. Why else would he agree to take care of the girl who causes him nothing but frustration?

And really, how can anyone cause frustration when they just…lay there?

Sesshoumaru glares at her some more.

Maybe his revenge on Naraku will not come as fast as he wants it to, especially if Kagome refuses to wake up.

And as he is glaring, she suddenly opens her eyes, blinks…

She wakes up, and Sesshoumaru finally watches her come back to life. She is not looking at him. He is staring at her intensely, so he does not know how she can't feel him.

She completely ignores his death glare.

He pains for Rin.

But then, didn't she ignore his glare too?

He hates this miko...and Rin, but just a little bit.

* * *

**So, how was it? What's going to happen to Kagome? and Sesshoumaru? And the whole world, really the way things are going? Oh, I just have so many ideas for htis story! Oh, and people, please, review, review, review, because you know how I love them and, you know, I'll give you cookies, or candy, or...mmm, cake?**


	4. For the sake of ignorance

**I'll make this quick because you have already waited enough for this chapter. Sorry for the long wait, but I'm back at College (I started again on February), so I could't update. Forgive me! I feel so bad!**

**Pk, no more excuses, and just enjoy!**

* * *

**Fragments Of A Shattered Moon**

_**For the sake of ignorance**_

_No. They won't come to your aid. _

_No. You won't see them, again._

_Yes. You have lost it all._

* * *

Kagome wakes to a bright day.

It is chilly, but she doesn't feel the cold. It feels like she is wearing the coat her mother bought her for winter, and a gentle weight rests upon her, as if someone wrapped her in an abundance of blankets.

She feels like she is in a cocoon.

Things are definitely weird.

She doesn't remember a reason for her to be so wrapped up, as the last season she can remember is autumn. The leaves had already fallen from the trees, but surely, it is still far from winter? These thoughts temporally flee her mind as she feels a new sensation. Her body numbs and her limbs feel heavy, as if she hasn't moved them for a long time. Her head spins. She has no idea what happened, or why she is not under some sort of refuge.

'Surely, Inuyasha wouldn't be stupid enough to let us sleep without shelter. Not when it is so close to winter and the temperature drops unexpectedly at nights. At least he would build a fire…' She tries to sit up, but her body stays still. She opens her mouth to ask for help, but the words are stuck, and her throat rasps. She frowns and is happy that, at least, the muscles on her face still obey her.

Did they have an especially horrible and tiring battle yesterday? Her mind fogs and she cannot remember a thing, not what happened, not how she got here, nothing…

'Did someone hit me in the head? That would explain this amnesia… and anyway; where are the others?' Kagome has not heard any of their voices, and she is used to at least one of them being close. It is strange that they would leave her alone when she was still asleep. They would have at least waked her up.

And why is everything so quiet?

She begins to feel nervous.

She tries to sense them, but it seems she is too tired to use her miko powers.

'Strange. It's almost like I am out of touch, like she hadn't used them in at least a month.'

She wants the others to return.

Inuyasha should be yelling something at her, or Shippo should already have hopped onto her lap. Sango or Miroku should have wished her good morning. There should be chaos around her, not this stillness and quietness that is impossible in their group. She tries to sit up again. The blankets give her a little bit of problem, but, with difficulties, she manages to do it.

And wishes she hadn't.

The world spins around her, and if it were not for the fact that the trees, air, and ground belong to the Feudal Era, she would have thought she was having a tremendous hangover.

Except she is not the party-girl type.

What, with saving the Feudal Era and trying to keep up her grades, she does not have the time. She does not even think she has ever gone to a decent party. What would a decent party be like? Kagome shakes her head, even though it worsens her current situation. She does not need, on top of all, for her mind to start wandering to useless things. She still likes the idea of a hangover far more than the idea of some gory, tiring fight. She groans as the sunrays hit her directly on her eyes. She covers them with her hand, thankful the movement in her limbs is beginning to come back. Covering her eyes does not help the stream of sunrays. It still hurts her, as if her eyes have closed off light for a while. All her moves are slow and painful.

It must have been one hell of a fight.

"Inuyasha?" she asks softly. Her voice will die out if she speaks louder. No one answers. She looks around, noticing for the first time where she is. There is snow on the ground. She is in the middle of what looks like a clearing, and now, Kagome is really beginning to think that something is terribly wrong because not one of them would choose such an open place to lay a camp.

Carefully, she tries to stand up.

"Shit!" she exclaims, as her feet slip with the snow and her bottom hits the ground. "That didn't go well," she unhappily mutters to herself.

It takes her six more tries and, somehow, eight more falls for her to get on her feet. She ponders walking around, yelling for someone, but seeing how the 'getting up' task went, she is too scared to try moving. Instead, she settles for standing still. It is quite a smart decision, if she does say so herself. She can hear the wind whistling through the quietness. No birds sing; it is too cold. Ice coats the leaves, and the ground under her feet is frozen. Still, there is no sound of the others. Her frown deepens.

'Where are they?' she thinks. 'Inuyasha should be here… or Sango and Miroku. And Shippou should definitely be here; he never leaves my side. At the very least, Kirara should be near. And Inuyasha should be complaining about...anything, really. It's not like he is very picky.'

He would say something about her laziness, even if it is unjustified. How can he expect her to stay lively? It is not as if she is a hanyou with lots of energy to burn off. However, there is no complaining. In fact, there is nothing, and Kagome is extremely sure that it was autumn when she last saw them. It is impossible for the world to suddenly transform. A month was still missing before the first snowfall. She is very careful with the weather, and she would have gone back home to get some provisions. Especially since she had already been in the Feudal Era for three months, so she would have to go back home for food, winter clothes, medicine, and other useful things. Her mother is probably freaking out, and she would have definitely gone back to the well before moving further into Feudal Japan.

Kagome's chest fills with dread. Where is everyone? She doesn't like this. It doesn't feel right. Something in her heart tells her something horrible that will change her life forever has happened. Except she would remember any awful event that could spin her life around. It is not as if one can just forget something like that.

And she's still in the Feudal Era. That is important.

If something horrible has happened, Inuyasha would have taken her home.

'Unless something happened to Inuyasha…_'_ she waves the thought away. Nothing bad could happen to Inuyasha--she should know. She has been caught in endless battles with him, and even though she sometimes thought he would die, he never has. There is no reason to think something bad has happened to him.

But she is definitely sure it was autumn when she last saw anyone, and now it is winter.

She feels like one of those people from the movies that wake up and realize they had lost years of life. She certainly hopes _that_ is not the case. As if her life was not hectic enough, on top of that, losing time would not please her. Her breath starts to thicken, part cold air, part fear.

The hairs at the back of her neck stand up as suddenly as when her eyes opened.

Someone watches her.

Kagome turns as quickly as she can, falling again with the movement. She curses, scrapes hair from her face, and as she does so, her eyes widen, and she is staring at a scary sight.

She looks into the cold, golden eyes of the Taisho brother who doesn't really like her and has tried, in the past, to kill her. It does not matter that he has helped her, too, and he did travel at times with her team… and he takes care of a little human girl.

Kagome repeats all the good things Sesshoumaru has done in her head, but there are not very many, and it doesn't help her nerves. Sesshoumaru has an amazing capacity to get on her nerves. He just stares at her, stone still, and Kagome swears he says nothing just to make her itchier.

As if she couldn't freak herself out without him.

Being in front of Sesshoumaru with no one else with her is sure to be one of the leading causes to heart failure.

Would doctors, in her time, consider him a cause for early death? She thinks they would. And really, as if his presence alone wasn't a reason for early deaths, he is a demon completely capable of killing before you even blink. He could even torture her until she asked for death, and then…

Kagome stops those thoughts, reminding herself that thinking those things will definitely not help her situation; it's only making her feel more distressed.

She stands in front of Sesshoumaru.

Alone.

Before him.

Defenseless.

Where is her bow?

_Sesshoumaru is staring._

She frankly moves her head around, looking for Inuyasha.

_He keeps staring._

Where is that stupid hanyou? As soon as he arrives and saves her, she will sit him to oblivion.

_And staring…_

She will do more than sit him innumerable times, she will take all the ramen away and will never bring more.

If she survives…

_And staring some more._

She's…

"He's not coming," Sesshoumaru says in a tone completely void of emotion.

Kagome forgets her fear and cocks her head to the side, trying to remember a time when Sesshoumaru first started any conversation. She dumbly stares at him.

"He's dead. Everyone is dead. Naraku killed them. He killed you, too."

Kagome is making a good impression of a gold fish. She had no idea Sesshoumaru could be so articulate.

"I revived you."

Kagome's blue eyes are watching him as if for the first time. She does not really understand what he is saying. The words reach her ears, but her brain is having a hard time processing them.

"Reviving can disorientate you. Sleeping for long periods can do that, too. Your body must feel heavy, and you are having a hard time coordinating your limbs. It is also normal."

"Oh," Kagome replies. "I think that's the most I've ever heard you say."

***

Sesshoumaru is left speechless at her choice of words.

Never, in all of his lifetime, has he gotten such an emotionless and frivolous answer as today. Ok, so he has gotten more emotionless and frivolous answers, but not concerning the death of one held dear or…your own death.

'Maybe she does not care about my half brother as thought.' Sesshoumaru quickly erases that possibility. He could smell the care she has for her half brother. There were times when she even had a scent that was extremely close to what Inuyasha's mate's scent should smell like.

Except she has never really smelled like that. Inuyasha's smell overcomes hers, as if they mated, but Kagome has never been Inuyasha's mate or miko, for that matter.

That title stood reserved for the dead priestess, who was probably truly dead this time and would not come back to life.

At least, he does not think so, and now is not the time to wonder which of the two humans Inuyasha's was truly. Inuyasha is dead. The dead priestess is…dead, again, and the only thing left of that triangle is Kagome.

Besides, the insignificant problems of humans and hanyou deserve none of his attention.

He is more important than that.

At least, he _was_ more important, until Naraku took all that was his.

Sesshoumaru makes a mental note to get all that was his returned so he is once more above the acts of normal beings. Not that he is not;and he should pay attention to the miko in front of him. Such a waste of time…He has been reduced to having to explain to a miko exactly why Inuyasha, or anyone else she used to know, will not come when she yells for them.

Naraku will pay with more than blood.

"Kagome…" he starts, using her name to get her attention. It works, but not in the way, he expected, and she interrupts him before he can continue.

"You know my name?"

Sesshoumaru tries to maintain his composed face as his instincts to kill her fuel him. She is annoying him, which is a very good motive for assassination. He tries, once more, to explain the situation.

"Naraku came," he says, ignoring her last question. He makes his voice slow so that she will catch everything he has to say. He does not like to repeat himself. He does not even like to explain himself. He cannot remember the last time he had to do such a mundane think like explaining. "You fought him." Because Inuyasha's group had been fighting the hanyou for at least a year and a half every time they crossed paths. "You did not survive." It does not take a genius to know this. Sesshoumaru must have arrived only hours after the battle. The smell of blood was still fresh. Kagome was still alive. "I brought you back to life."

She says nothing, keeping still, her mouth half open, and her big, blue eyes wide and staring at him.

And Rin wanted her to live?

Not only did she waste two months of his life sleeping, she is wasting more time awake. He should have known not to listen to little girls that also annoyed him.

"I'm…" she says, "dead?"

Sesshoumaru wants to smack his head on the nearest tree, which is very unlike him. "No," he tells her forcefully, coldly. He sees her flinch at the tone of his voice. She must not be used to people being that hard with her. She will have to get used to it, because Sesshoumaru does not care about what she is used to or not. "You are not dead anymore."

Her eyes travel to Tenseiga, safely at his hip, and, if possible, her eyes widen more.

"Where is Tetsusaiga?" she asks unexpectedly.

It is his turn to feel confused. What does that sword have to do with anything? He takes his moment to answer. "It is in Naraku's possession." His voice stays controlled. His blood is almost venom with all the anger he feels inside. Tetsusaiga was his father's. He left it to the unworthy hanyou, fine. He could live with that. However, for the sword to be in even more worthless hands than Inuyasha's is beyond what even Sesshoumaru can take without baring some emotion.

A flash of anger crosses his eyes before disappearing, not leaving a trace of it. Kagome doesn't even seem to notice.

"But Inuyasha…"

He is getting tired of all of this. She is too slow, and he has many people to kill, new governments to destroy, demons to torture, counts to settle. He has no time for pathetic human miko who do not seem to understand the easiest of statements. He turns to leave. He has brought her back to life. Rin's last wish has been done. He has even taken the time to wait for her eyes to open. He finished his job. There has nothing else to do here. Just as he is taking his first steps from the strange, obviously slow, human, her voice reaches his ears, and there is something in that voice that stops him.

"Inuyasha…" she says, and he can hear the sorrow that name is beginning to cost her. "…wouldn't let Tetsusaiga from his side unless…"

He turns his head to watch her. She is up, reaching for the nearest tree, trying to find some support. Her eyes are beginning to fill with tears. He has no pity for her, only a vague curiosity.

And her eyes lock with his.

"He _is_ dead."

She falls to the ground in a dead faint. Sesshoumaru does not move for a long time. He stares at her fragile body in the middle of the field. Anything could come and kill her. All his work of bringing her back to life and waiting for her to wake would be wasted if she were killed again.

Rin would be pouting in whatever place she abides at right now.

That child has been a bad influence on him.

He lets out a defeated sigh and moves towards her, and as he bents, it suddenly occurs to him that Naraku planned his schedule of assassinations to the last detail. The hanyou went to his domains at the exact time that he would not be able to get there to fight.

Naraku killed Rin in just the right moment for him to be too far to help her. He moved towards his half brother's group and killed them all before he could get there. He eliminated all possible future threats except Sesshoumaru.

He is avoiding him.

Naraku, after all, does not sin of stupidity. He does sin, however, of arrogance and pride. If he did not, he would have killed Sesshoumaru. On the other hand, he would have tried. However, Sesshoumaru was left standing, and because of that single mistake, so is Kagome, miko of the Shikon No Tama. Sesshoumaru lets a small smile of contempt grace his features.

Naraku has just made his first two mistakes.

Kagome is alive; she, his biggest threat, and Sesshoumaru will make sure to make her even a bigger threat. Even if it means the torture of spending time with her.

***

Kagome is about to go into hysterics.

She is breathing too hard, moving back and forth on a straight line, and is getting more agitated by the minute. Kaede is not sure if she should be more worried about her cave floor getting a new, nice hole to adorn it, or about Kagome walking herself to death.

"How could this happen?" she suddenly yells at no one in particular. Her eyes are shining with unshed tears. Her shoulders tense. Her voice shakes. Kaede knows Kagome is in no position to have this conversation. Maybe some tea would help…"How can they all be dead?"

"It's simple," Sesshoumaru says. "Their hearts stopped beating. Their lungs stopped bringing in air. The blood stopped flooding through their veins." An evil look crosses his eyes. "Actually, I think their blood was spilled everywhere. Yours certainly was."

Kaede glares at him. Sesshoumaru shrugs. It is not his fault if Kagome cannot take the truth.

Kagome ignores them both.

"I can't…" she says. "I can't remember anything."

Except that is not true. She can remember someone yelling for Sango. Someone pushed her out of the way of a danger. There was a big whole swallowing someone else, and Inuyasha's face flashes for a brief moment before her eyes.

"Kagome…" Kaede says gently, and just as lightly, puts her hands over her shoulder to cease her pacing. Kagome's blue eyes are full of despair, confusion, and a pain close to agony. Kaede can see the young girl clinging to false hopes. "They are all dead."

Sesshoumaru mutters something that sounds like 'I already said that.'

Kaede decides to pretend she didn't hear him.

Kagome suddenly goes still. She stares into Kaede's eyes, and without vacillation, she speaks the last thing she ever thought she would hear coming from those lips.

"I know Inuyasha is dead," she says. Her tone is somber, her eyes even more. "I know the rest of them are all dead." Because she cannot remember exactly how, but they would be next to her if they were alive. "What I would like to know…what I would really like to know is…" Her eyes are dull behind the tears threatening to fall at any minute. "Why am I not dead?"

Kaede feels like dying. She is only an old miko that destiny has refused to kill. Death just does not seem willing to take her soul yet. Kagome, however, sweet, naïve, innocent, Kagome has so much in her. She is still young. She still has the strength to rise. She… She is giving up. Kaede can see it clearly in her eyes. She does not wish to continue living.

And this, more than anything else, shatters Kaede's last hope.

She didn't get it, not at first, not in that cold clearing, and definitely not when it came from Sesshoumaru's lips. It is not that she believes the demon would lie; it is just that it did not seem real for Sesshoumaru to be telling her such an important thing. She had believed it was a nightmare, and when she woke up, everything would be all right. When her eyes had opened again, she had caught sight of Kaede, and Kagome had believed it was all really just a dream. Until she turned her head and instead of Inuyasha, there was Sesshoumaru again.

Her brain starts to work again, and the words previously ignored had taken a new meaning.

_Inuyasha is dead._

The thought sent her into hysterics at first.

_Everyone is dead._

The thought leaves her close to despair.

_She is alive._

Why? She had asked, but so far, the cave she was in (weird, why was she not at Kaede's village?) was silent.

No one is answering her.

Kagome opens her mouth to ask again. Sesshoumaru beats her to it.

"You are not dead because I brought you back to life."

Kagome's eyes finally turn towards Sesshoumaru. "But why?"

Sesshoumaru can understand the confusion. He himself does not really know why he did it. Rin's petition was enough for him to bring her back, but not for him to stay until she woke. He decides to go with his favorite answer. "Because I wanted to."

"But why?"

Sesshoumaru cannot remember a time when that answer failed him. Because he does not wish to explain himself further, he turns his eyes from Kagome to Kaede.

"You are the Shikon No Tama's miko," Kaede fills in. "The pearl has not been returned. You are still needed."

Kagome explodes.

"The pearl!" she yells at the top of her lungs. Both occupants watch the cave entrance, expecting someone to burst in and kill them all. Kagome raises her voice. "I don't care about the stupid pearl!" It has brought nothing more than pain, tears, unrequited love, and friends that she will never see again. "I don't care about this stupid era!" Nothing good has come out of falling down the stupid well and into this world. She lives neither in the future nor in the past. The present is something she just refuses to think of. "I don't care about you!" she yells at Kaede, suddenly at that place where anger takes you to hate everything and anything that steps onto your view. "And I don't want to be here anymore!" she declares. Her pain is gone, replaced with anger, and she looks at Kaede with fury that was seconds ago anguish.

"You have to…" Kaede starts to say, wishing for the words to calm Kagome. Even though she wished two months ago for Kagome to go back where she belonged, she now knows that is not possible.

Not with all but one shard out of Naraku's possession.

Kagome cuts off any words she might have said. "I don't care," she says. Her voice is lower but no less angry. "This is not my time." Kagome only stayed because of her group of friends, and if they are gone, and she was not gone with them, she did not wish to stay. "I have already lost all my teenage years. I will not lose more." Because without them, Kagome knows there is nothing tying her to this place. She owes it nothing. She has given it everything and now it has stripped her of what she loves the most.

She will no longer stay in this place.

"Where is the well?" Nothing will stop her. She does not care for the destiny of this era. She furiously brushes the tears that are starting to come from her eyes. She will not cry. This place doesn't deserve her tears.

Sesshoumaru stares, understanding half of what has been said. He doesn't know why a well would be necessary for her to go home. He also does not understand why Kaede has not told her that all of Japan is under Naraku, and her village has most likely been destroyed. He will not even go into the comment about this 'not being her era'.

"Kagome, you cannot…"

"Just tell me where it is!"

Kaede sighs. She knows she should probably try to stop Kagome from going back home. She knows the Feudal Era is gone is she leaves. She knows the future would probably be affected, but she can see that Kagome can fight no more. Not now. The girl has been like a daughter to her, and seeing her in such despair…

Kaede walks to the entrance and points at the direction of the well. It is not far. They are still in Inuyasha's forest, and his tree can be seen from where she stands. Being injured and old has not allowed her to go put a lot of distance between the village and the cave. She had travelled just far enough. Kaede supposes letting go of Kagome, who is not really from this time, is the only thing she can do for the child.

She feels like she is betraying everyone that has died.

Sesshoumaru just keeps on staring, and as Kagome goes off running in the direction the old miko pointed out, he stands.

"She can't go."

Kaede just smiles sadly. "She doesn't belong here."

"I didn't bring her back for nothing," he says, almost angry. He has wasted enough of his time for her to just skip off. He walks out the cave.

"Let her go!"

But Sesshoumaru has never listened to anyone but a young girl named Rin.

He follows the miko's scent, or rather follows the remains of Inuyasha's scent on Kagome.

***

Kagome runs through the woods without stopping. She runs and runs and runs, and she fights the new tears and continues running.

'_They're dead, dead, dead…'_

She has to get away from this place. Their faces flash through her mind. Their last moments start coming back to her. Their screams, their pain.

She has to get out.

She doesn't see her surroundings. She doesn't hear the quietness sounds around her. She doesn't feel Sesshoumaru's presence. She can just see the well. She runs, runs, runs, trying to leave her mind behind. She doesn't take a moment to think as she launches herself to the well, waiting for the pull of time to take her away from this.

From them.

From the memories.

She thinks about her home, her mom, her bed, the friends she left behind, the ones she has just lost and is never getting back. She thinks of the new life she will begin in her real time, and she thinks…

However, the pull of time does not come. Kagome falls to the hard ground.

_Crack._

Something breaks. She lets out an agonized yell as her foot twists in an odd shape.

Sesshoumaru's head pops from the entrance of the wall.

Kagome yells and yells and yells.

Sesshoumaru does not understand the look of despair in her eyes.

* * *

**She woke up! And now she knows everyone she loved is gone and the well doesn't work! Oh, poor Kagome! And Sesshoumaru. Again, sorry for taking so long to update, but school has been difficult and demanding, but I almost have chap. 5 ready, so it should be up the next week or so. Review people! Your reviews make me happy and keep me writing!**


	5. Away From You

**I was meaning to update this sooner, but I got sick. The flu or something equally evil, and I've been in bed ever since, so...yeah, I'm still sick, but I can breath better now, oh, and my eyes are not red and puffy so I can actually see what I'm writing. **

**Also, I know the story is seeming slow and Kagome is an idiot and suffering and all that. But I need that for the story to work, so keep up with this story, because I can assure you, somewhere in chap. 10, Kagome will be back on her feet (give her some time. She did lose everything, and she is no Sesshoumaru).**

**Also, is this a Sess/Kag? Of course it is. How will I make it work? I've no idea. It'll come to me, but there is going to be romance...somewhere along the running for their lifes and all.**

**My thanks to...**

**XxBlEeDiNg BlAcK rOsEsXx- I know! They suffer os much! I feel bad for them. I mean...they haven't even started, but hey, Naraku will pay...maybe...muahaha (evil laugh here)**

**AllySan - Hola! Tenía que escoger un personaje fuerte, y sólo no podía hacer a Sesshoumaru todo...deprimido, y la verdad, Kagome es perfecta para eso, así que...le toca sufrir, jeje.**

**zeroserenity - the well does not work because...he, actually, becaue Kagome would go running home and never come back. I can just see her doing that, burying her past and all. I had to stop her, so the well doesn't work.**

**purplefav - actually, where the last shard is, is...extremely important, so I can't tell you just yet!**

**aimdiscord - I know! I kind of hate Kagome right now, but I sat down, nad got to think about how she would feel, especially if she lost Inuyasha...and in the way she lost him...She broke down, and being her...she doens't want the memories. So yes. she is weak right now, but give her some time.**

**llebreknit- Oh, don't worry. Kagome won't be consumed by hatred and anger...that much.**

**lilly - It is exactly what you said. I _am_ repeating myself, but I have a good reason for doing that. I have to crack them up, drive them inside the biggest hole, and then allow them to climb out of it. I'm not sure I'm making much sense, but...I need them to have nothing and _be_ nothing, because in that world, in that moment, whith how they both are, only by destroying their past can I make a future for both of them. I'm not sure if I made it clear, but what I'm trying to do is give them the first chapters, you know, allow them to grieve in their own way, and _then_ start the real story. In a way, the first chapters are just for them. Did I explain myself?**

* * *

**Fragments Of A Shattered Moon**

_**Away From You**_

**_To all the people who have died, and all the people that are lost._**

**_To all those who have to suffer so that millions will not._**

* * *

The well does not work.

She has no idea of why, but it doesn't work.

She twisted her ankle on the first try. Sesshoumaru, not gently at all, got her out of the well, but as soon as she was on her feet…foot again, she shook herself from him and tried again.

She tried and tried and tried, but the well refused to bring her back to her own, rightful time.

She's stuck in the Feudal Era, in a time that is not hers, with all that made this place home dead, and in the company of the one youkai, aside from Naraku, that has tried to kill her innumerable times. Never mind that he brought her back to life.

And the well doesn't work.

She jumped into it, wanting to go home, feel the comfort of her bed, have her mother make her a nice, warm, hot chocolate, and forget the last three years, but it stayed still and twisted her ankle.

Stupid well.

Stupid world.

Stupid her.

She wants to forget everything that has happened since she became fifteen.

She wants to forget how she freed a young hanyou.

She wants to forget the perverted monk.

She wants to forget the orphaned kitsune.

She wants to forget the demon slayer and her pet.

She wants to forget her existence, what has made her who she is, and start all over again. She wishes for amnesia, for a moment where she can just get them out of her head, of her heart, of her being. They haunt her, always at the edge of her thoughts, and she can't take it. She needs to forget them. She can't deal with this now, or ever. They're presence is too big, and it is suffocating her, and the air is not there, not where it needs to be, doesn't reach her lungs…

She wants to forget the woman that was like her sister.

She wants to forget the man that always had a nice or wise word for her.

She wants to forget the young kid who needed her care so much.

She wasn't to forget the hanyou she fell in love with.

She _needs_ to forget them.

Wanting to forget them makes her feel guilty, but she doesn't know how else to continue living. She has no idea of what to do now that they are not here. She doesn't know how to be without them, not after so long, not after all they've been through, not after the many promises, not after…after…

They left her. They died. She is the only one left. All their adventures, all the things they shared, their goals and dreams, it is all gone.

The well won't work.

Her own time refuses to have her back. She is trapped in this world, and maybe if they were alive it wouldn't be so bad, but she saw them all die, and how the hell does anyone expect her to continue?

Stupid, stupid, stupid well.

Why the hell did Sesshoumaru bring her back to life? Why didn't he let her go? Did he have to be so cruel? The thought makes her insides turn out, and she can't help it. She throws up, throws her guts out.

His presence alone pains her.

Because there he is, all tall and magnificent, with that white hair much more elegant than Inuyasha's, but with the same color. The same white she looked for in battles. The same white hair she sometimes combed with her fingers, when Inuyasha was in an _extremely_ good mood.

But it is not Inuyasha's hair, and she would never, ever, try to touch Sesshoumaru's hair. She likes her hands, thank you very much, and Sesshoumaru would probably cut them off.

His hair still remains her of Inuyasha.

And those eyes.

Those beautiful, golden, eyes. Sesshoumaru's eyes in no way were the entrance to his soul, unless his soul is an iceberg. His eyes are as cold as anything has ever been. Kagome shivers every time she accidentally crosses her own gaze with his. The color is Inuyasha's, though, and she is reminded of his, which always seemed to hold a fire in them that refused to die.

He was passion and fury and love and a storm and it is all gone. There is nothing left of him. He is no longer here with her.

Kagome wants to be with him.

She won't be allowed, though. She can already see that, and as she watches the tall, elegant figure of Sesshoumaru, she wishes, for just a second, that Sesshoumaru had died instead of Inuyasha.

She feels horrible for that thought.

Part of her kind soul, or maybe all of her kind soul, died, and all that is left is a shallow body.

Is this how Kikyo felt when she was brought back to life?

* * *

"_What will you do when this is all over?"_

_They surround the fire. Inuyasha's question is heard by them all. The sound of fire cracking suddenly is the only thing to be heard._

_Kagome doesn't know how to answer._

"_Inuyasha…"_

_Sango has her eyes firmly on her, but her hand looks for Miroku's, trying to find strength in the other in case the answer is not to her liking. Shippo sits in her lap and looks at her with big, childish eyes __Inuyasha refuses to look at her._

"_There's a long time before that. We haven't even found half of the pearl," she says, trying to evade the question. __She's uncomfortable with it. She still doesn't know what she will do once this is all over. __She has a life that has been left on hold because of this, and as much as she likes to spend time with her 'second family', she has her own dreams and hopes. __She wants to go to College, hang out with her friends, not worry about being killed... __Not that she can't get killed in her own time, but…_

_It would be nice to have a relaxing day without worries._

_But she knows she can't give up what she has found on this Era. She has a sister in Sango, and a child in Shippo. Miroku is the older, although much more perverted, brother, she always wanted. Inuyasha…_

_Inuyasha is her life. _

_She can't leave her life behind._

"_I'm sure we'll manage to figure something out."_

_Inuyasha's head quickly turns to her._

"_Huh?"_

_Kagome smiles as she hugs Shippo and dedicates a warm smile to Sango and Miroku. __It's funny. They always have the important conversations when there's a fire to warm them. _"_Well, yes. After it's all over, I won't spend so much time here. I have school to think about, but…" She smiles at Inuyasha, whose ears were beginning to flatten out, "It's not like you can get rid of me so easily." She grins at them. _"_Nope, as long as the well lets me through, you will not be able to keep me away from this Era."_

"_Keh, I knew you couldn't live without us," the hanyou says arrogantly. Kagome narrows her eyes at him._

"_Excuse me?"_

_"Yes," Inuyasha continues. "You can't stay apart from me for long."_

"_Inuyasha…" Miroku tries to warn his friend, but Inuyasha, as always, is deaf to anything that does not agree with him._

_Before Inuyasha opens his mouth again, Kagome yells, "Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit!" And Inuyasha is left in a big whole._

"_So," Sango says, "anyone want more tea?"_

* * *

"Five months?" she shakily says. "I've been here for five months?"

Kaede nods. "Yes." The old Miko has done all she can for her foot. She won't be able to use it for a few weeks, but after that, Kaede assures her she will be as good as new, as if nothing had happened.

Kagome doesn't care.

She is at the cave, and Kaede is explaining all she knows. Sesshoumaru is in one corner, likely trying to ignore her.

'_Oh, God!'_ she thinks. _'My mother, my mother, what will she think?'_

Her mother…five months…Inuyasha is dead…the well doesn't work… And her brother, grandfather, and friends. She was supposed to attend college next year, if she could manage to work her grades up. She had dreams. She had a future. She has…

Nothing.

Her mother must be worried sick. She must be searching for reasons to why she hasn't returned. She knows her mother is aware just how dangerous the Feudal Era is. No matter how much she tried to hide it, her mother knew, and now she hasn't had word of her daughter in five months…

"There has to be a way to open the well," she tells Kaede. "You are a miko, and I'm a miko, and between the two of us…"

"My child…" she tells Kagome sadly, "I don't have the power to do that, and even if I did…"

"A youkai would finish you off at the first feel of miko power," Sesshoumaru says indifferently. He makes a mental note to ask Kaede about the well. Kagome jumps at the sound of his voice. He finds it annoying. Can't she control herself?

"Why would…"

"They are hunting all remaining priestesses," Kaede explains. "The ones that are left are hiding. I myself will hide as soon as you are gone."

"G…gone?" she asks precariously. "Where will we hide?"

Sesshoumaru and Kaede looks cross briefly.

"Kagome…"

"You are not going with Kaede," Sesshoumaru answers.

"What?" Kagome's eyes turn to Kaede, pleading her to explain, to tell her Sesshoumaru doesn't know what he's talking about.

"It's…true," Kaede tells the already broken miko. "I will hide by myself, and you will stay with Sesshoumaru."

"What!" Kagome exclaims, standing on her feet, forgetting for a moment her foot, and falling back. Sesshoumaru sighs, as if he didn't expect anything else from her.

"I don't _want_ to stay with him!" she yells, pointing at him.

Sesshoumaru wonders if he should feel insulted, but considering it's just Kagome, just a human, and that she had previously decided to spend her free time at Inuyasha's side, he decides not. Her opinion is of little value to him, if at all.

"You have to stay with him."

"I don't! If I have to be stuck in this time, then I want to be stuck with you!" Kaede is, after all, the last connection she has of what Kagome once considered the best years of her life.

But Kaede shakes her head.

"My child…" she starts.

"No," Kagome states. "I don't care about any explanations. I'm staying with you."

"You have no chance if you stay with me. The world has no chance if you stay by my side. The only hope you and this world have are if you stay under Sesshoumaru's protection." She doesn't add that Sesshoumaru's protection is there as long as Kagome is useful to him. Instead, she tries to reason with Kagome. "Naraku has power over all of Japan. All the youkai, hanyou, or humans that are not with him are being exterminated. He has had all the mikos killed. I don't know how many more are left. There is chaos all around. No one is safe, and he took the shards that you had…"

Kagome's hand absently goes to her neck, where she used to keep them. Funny, she hadn't realized they were gone till now, and… "Does he have all the shards?" Kagome suddenly questions, fear beginning to creep into her. If he has, then this era and all the ones to come are doomed.

"All but one."

"Who has it?"

Kaede sighs. "I can't say the name." She had promised, and not even to Kagome would she reveal that secret. It was enough that she knew. If more people did, then soon the rumor would reach Naraku's ear, and then all would be lost. "Your only chance to get it is…"

"No," Kagome suddenly understands. It finally comes to her, why she is still alive. "No," she repeats. "I have already sacrificed everything I had because I thought it was my duty…"

_'They can't ask this of me.' _And, oh Kami, they _are_ going to.

Kaede speaks more stoutly. "It is still your duty."

Kagome turns angry eyes towards Sesshoumaru. "Why did you bring me back to life?" For the first time, Sesshoumaru turns his cold eyes at her, and only her. Kagome feels like she is becoming smaller under his gaze, but her fury is too much. "Why didn't you let me die?"

Sesshoumaru's voice could cut through the hardest metal. "You are alive because you are still needed, and you will continue being alive until you have fulfilled your duty."

"I won't…"

"Yes," he says firmly. "You will."

"You can't order me around!" Sesshoumaru advances towards her, but Kaede puts her old body between them.

"Stop it!" she yells at them. "Kagome, your duty will not be fulfilled until the pearl is gone. You still have to get the shards. You have to stop Naraku."

"But I'm only a girl that…" Kagome lowers her eyes. Tears are beginning to fall. This is too much in such a small time. She lost them, and she lost her way home, and now she is being asked to…to…

Shard detector.

She was the shard detector to Inuyasha, and now Sesshoumaru expects her to be his shard detector. And she hated being Inuyasha's, and now these two demand her that she be one again, to the older brother, to Sesshoumaru…

She doesn't have the strength that is needed to do this. Not again. She is just so miserable! How can they expect her to do this? She is but a shell of what she once was. No, she is not even a shell. She is nothing because she has nothing left, and how can you be something if no one knows you? Sesshoumaru probably only learned her name because calling her 'miko' would be confusing with two present at the moment.

But she looks at them both, and she knows Kaede will leave her alone and Sesshoumaru will use force if necessary to make her find the last shard.

Just like old times.

She will have to find the stupid shards just like back then.

But there is no one to make the path easier this time.

* * *

Sesshoumaru cannot believe the nerve of that brat.

He saved her, brought her life, gave her a second chance, what most people would love to have. He saved her ungrateful, insignificant ass, and yet here she is, in front of him, yelling at the old miko that worried nonstop for her and made sure her inert body had everything it needed for two months.

But Kagome is yelling, telling Kaede how much she hates her and this place, this life.

The two of them risked their lives staying at this cave. Sesshoumaru lost count of the many youkai he had to kill in order to keep her alive. The old miko chanted for hours just to make the cave safer. He could have started his revenge. Kaede could have hidden her old body. Sesshoumaru could have saved Rin. They didn't, and he hadn't. Instead, they stayed, for her. Sesshoumaru doesn't care for Kaede. He cares even less about Kagome. If it was up to him, she would still be dead, or at the very least, he would have left her here with the old miko, and he would have disappeared. He was never nanny material. Never mind that he did do the job when Rin was by his side. Yet, no need to remember lost times that will never return. No need to bring back the times when she trailed along him, always cheering him up, her hope in him everlasting

Rin is dead.

He wishes he could trade Rin's place for Kagome's. The human child was never ungrateful. In fact, she was quite grateful to have such a gift given to her. Kagome, or, as Sesshoumaru is beginning to think of her, the rock in his shoe, is cursing them to hell and back because they gave her life.

And she's supposed to save them?

Sesshoumaru believes that the world is doomed.

"No," Kagome says again, beginning another series of weak arguments that, deep down, are nothing more than excuses.

He hates excuses more than weakness.

He has no sympathy. He was not taught compassion. He was the first son of a great Lord and warrior, and in the midst of battle, he had no time for children's games and bedtime stories. He had to fight, and in war, compassion was a weakness that would serve for nothing but digging your grave. When it came to those who made excuses instead of standing, he let them see his coldest side.

He was merciless. He should be merciless again.

Kagome is starting to wake his very non-compassionate self.

"No," She repeats. Her eyes watering. Great, even more weakness. How can one body hold so many things he dislikes and show them all at the same time? Maybe she's doing this to get on his nerves?

"I have already sacrificed everything I had because I thought it was my duty…" she says, and Sesshoumaru can see Kaede is thinking the same thing he is.

They sacrificed just as much as she had. Maybe even more.

Kaede lost her village and all the people that looked up to her for protection. He lost all his lands, his father's legacy, and the people that depended of him were slaughtered.

Kagome lost her little group of friends. Boo-hoo.

Sesshoumaru has had enough time to think through all the things he lost and all the things he failed to protect.

It wasn't only Rin and Jaken, who he does not have the time to mourn properly, whose deaths hurt him deeply, in a way he will never show the world and never admit to even himself. The heavy weight of his failure as a leader, as a Lord, rests on his shoulders, and all the people that died because he was not there to protect them and all the land lost is his fault. He should have been at his home instead of traveling with his half brother. The past is the past, though, and no matter how important, powerful, and immortal he is, he has no rule over time. He does not have the luxury to lament the 'what ifs' and 'could have beens', so he doesn't.

He works on how to make things work for him now.

Kaede surprises him by raising her voice, and his attention goes back to that excuse of a miko.

"It is _still_ your duty."

Kagome turns her angry eyes to Sesshoumaru. "Why did you bring me back to life?"

Sesshoumaru can't believe just how uncaring this human can be. He turns his cold eyes at her, and only her. He can feel her insecurity rising, but she fights it off with anger. For a brief moment, she surprises him by this show of strength, but then she ruins it when she silently whispers,

"Why didn't you let me die?"

Sesshoumaru makes his voice firm and cold to shove his point through her thick skull. "You are alive because you are needed, and you will continue living until you have fulfilled your task."

"I won't…"

"Yes," he says firmly. "You will."

"You can't order me around!"

Sesshoumaru advances towards her, but Kaede puts her aging body between them.

"Stop it!" she yells at them. "Kagome, your duty will not be fulfilled until the pearl is gone. You still have to find the shards. You have to stop Naraku."

"But I'm only a girl that…" Kagome lowers her eyes. Tears are beginning to fall.

Sesshoumaru's disgust just keeps on growing, and the questions he has been asking himself for two months return.

Why did he bring her back to life? Why did he stay for two months by her side? Why her, and not Rin?

Oh, yes, because he had made a promise to his half brother, and Rin told him to. He was told to find the girl and the shards, but the shards were gone when he reached her, yet he stayed.

She doesn't care about what both of them have done for her, and it's not that he cares. He wants nothing from her, but it seems, because the gods love to laugh at the people roaming the Earth, that the salvation of this world is in her hands. On a distressed, selfish human.

Someone hates him far more than he deserved because surely he did not earn such punishment, and to have to take the miko with him…

Sometimes, when she was asleep and not turning in a nightmare, a peaceful expression would set on her face, and just for a few seconds, Sesshoumaru would think just how alike Kagome and Rin were, but he would put those thoughts aside as soon as they came.

Now, more that ever, he does not see the relation between Rin and Kagome. Rin would have never been so selfish. She would have cared about the destiny of those around her. The one that should does not.

Sesshoumaru has no pity for her 'great loss.'

Before Kaede or Sesshoumaru stop her, Kagome storms off. Kaede sighs.

"It's too much for her," the old miko tells him.

Sesshoumaru does not agree. "She is immature," he tells her. It is the nicest thing he can think off, and he does not wish to start a fight with Kaede. He will keep all his strength for the fight he will have with Kagome.

"She…"

"Do not make excuses for her. She does not deserve them," He states firmly.

Kaede sighs again. "She doesn't belong here," she says.

Sesshoumaru turns his blank face towards her. "Why?"

She smirks. "I can't say that, either. It is her secret."

He keeps his irritation from showing on his face. "You hold a lot of secrets."

"One more reason for me to hide before Naraku's servants discover me." She is too old to be dealing with a youkai that believes the ground he walks on should be venerated and a young woman who refuses to take her life back into her hands.

If only she was a few years younger…

"I'll go after her before she kills herself," she tells him.

Sesshoumaru watches the old miko, with her missing eye and the wrinkles all around her face. "No," he says. He leaves the cave to find the miko.

Kaede's time is over. She is no longer useful. Her time with the young miko is over. It is his turn, even if he loathes it and his new charge.

He should have let her die when he had the chance.

He walks, the cold air of winter hitting him. He finds the miko in no time. She can't go far anyway, not with her foot the way it is.

"Miko," he calls her when she is a few meters from him. She keeps on walking, or rather, jumping on one foot. He frowns. "Kagome." He hears her sigh, and she turns to face him. The tears are gone from her eyes. The scent of sadness and anger is also gone. She looks defeated.

Sesshoumaru thinks this is a bad omen, considering their journey hasn't even begun yet.

Her eyes trail down the arm Inuyasha cut some time ago. "It grew back," she says. "I thought it would take longer."

Sesshoumaru blinks once before catching up on what she just said. He had expected her to complain some more, and here she was, talking about his arm in a serene voice. He is not fooled by her exterior. He can feel her turmoil in the inside. She'll have to learn to live with it or let it kill her.

"Kaede helped."

She lets a small, sad smile play on her lips. "I thought you didn't call anyone by names."

He shrugged. Things like those are no longer important. "It is less confusing."

They stay quiet, until she opens her mouth again. "I don't want to help you or anyone. I just want to go home." Sesshoumaru just stares at her. "I have nothing tying me to this world. There is nothing left to fight for."

"You have a duty."

Just like that, she loses it.

"And what duty is that?" she yells at him. He marvels at how quickly she changes emotions, and just what little self preservation she has. He could kill her for taking such attitude towards him. "All I loved is lost, and my only way back home denies me…" He is truly interested in the place she comes from, but now is not the moment.

"What you have lost is of no importance."

She explodes. "How can you say that? I lost my friends, the one I loved, the…"

"And you lost the shards, making Naraku even stronger. Do not pity yourself. You are luckier than all those who lost their lives."

"I lost my life, too."

"And I gave it back to you."

"I didn't ask for this…"

He has had enough of her complaints. He steps towards her, grabs her by the shoulders, and throws her to the ground with one hard move. She falls on her injured foot, an exclamation of pain breaking her lips. There is a _crack_ filling the air along with her scream. Just his luck. The foot is now broken.

She turns her hurt eyes at him, but she is met with golden eyes that do not care.

_If only Inuyasha…_

And he thinks, _if only Rin…_

None of them will have their wishes come true.

He takes her injured foot in his hands. As soon as he is reassured that he can fix it, he takes it on his hands. She looks at him with confused eyes. He almost smirks.

"Hold your breath." And he puts the foot back into place. Her scream of agony makes his mood brighten.

"Why the hell did you do that for?" she yells through her tears.

"Tomorrow," He tells her, "we begin to move. It is not safe to stay in one place at once."

"I don't want to leave Kaede!"

"You will." Considering Kaede agrees with him, she decides to complain about other things. "You could have been gentler!"

"There is nothing gentle about what awaits."

"I can't believe you just did that!"

He ignores her last remark. "As I assume you know nothing of fighting…"

"…I can fight…with arrows…"

"…I will teach you."

"I don't want to be taught. I don't want to help save this stupid era. I don't want anything that comes from you. Just leave me here to die," she says, tears coming to her eyes.

_'She is such a…' _Sesshoumaru can't find a word horrible enough to describe her. "It does not matter to me what you want. You are needed, and therefore, as much as I wish for it, I can't let you die."

"Inuyasha…"

"Is dead. He will not come back from the dead."

"Because you didn't…"

"There was nothing to do for him." Truth be told, he couldn't even find the pieces of his half brother.

Kagome knows this. She saw how he died. His members…she blocks anymore thoughts from invading her mind.

He looks at her sharply.

"There is no room for self pity. You have to be strong." She can see, in his face, how little he cares for her. "You have to look after yourself. No one is going to save you, now."

And he leaves her, with all her pain, all her self pity, her ruined life and her shatter hopes.

He walks away from her, leaving her on the ground, broken and lost as she watches his retreating form.

She has never felt more alone.

Sesshoumaru does not go far. He keeps his eyes on what is now his new charge.

And he hates being at her side as much as she hates being at his.

* * *

**There it is, people. They are finally going to be together, alone...with both of them awake...and alive...and miserable. But together. If Sesshoumaru doesn't kill her or anything.**

**So review, and hope you enjoyed it!**

**Also...I'm going on a field trip (if the stupid flu doens't kill me)...actually, my teacher is taking us all to Veracruz (a place in Mexico), and we are going to all this farms, collecting information, walking under the sun, and doing a lot of hard work, so I won't be able to write for almost two weeks, but I will do my best to update as soon as posible. You have been so good to me! I mean, I've been horrible with the updates, but you can be certain that I try my best. Blame the University. Or my sickness. Or me, but I will do a major effort to update faster.**

**Review people, and I love you all!**


	6. Of Dying, Reviving, and Deals

**Author's note: So so sorry for the wait! I do hope this chapter makes up for it! Also, one of my editors asked me to post a note, which is just inder this one, and I want you to know she worked really hard on this chapter so could have only the best.**

**Editor's Note: Kyaah! People, please, do not go after your loving author! She was sick and it was my fault for losing this chapter in my email! Plus, I had soo many tests and papers it was driving me batty! So, my apologies for a late chapter. –she bows hastily, her hair falling over her face-**

**Thanks to...**

**zero-serenity: You have to be one of my oldest readers, and I just wanted you to know I apreciate every review you give me! And yes, I feel much better now, and i had a great time at my field trip (even if the mosquitos ate me alive and we had to work hours under the sun).**

**serrinaus: I'm glad you are enjoying it! I'll try to keep up to your expectations.**

**Modern Monk: I think I did answer your question, but I'm not sure. Did I?**

**Lilith.31: Si se spañol, de hecho, ahorita vivo en México. Y sobre los capítulos...jajaja, cada uno es por lo menos 12 páginas de largo, algunos más cortos q otros, pero la verdad es q yo no escojo el tamaño de cada uno. La historia fluye, y la acabo en donde creo q deben acabar, y, uff, escribir 12 páginas es bien dificil, pero voy a tratar (generalmente los capitulos se van haciendo mas largos de la mitad de la historia al final).**

**lilly: There will be slow chapters and chapters that move things up. I think you'll enjoy this chapter. At least, I hope it takes a bit of the tension this story is having and make you laugh...though you'll have to have a dark kind of humor...**

**Kairou Watoshimi: I think Kagome deresves to be selfish. She deserves it, and at the same time she doesn't because she is not the only one that is suffering, and yet she can't see beyond her own pain, and I think that is something extremely human. Being selfish is human, and so I will allow her to be human for a little while longer.**

**kittykritic: Oh, the ideas I have for this story! It will be a rollercoaster, and...I don't know. I think it's going to be the kind of story that tells a tale of exactly what you said. There is sorrow, bu ¿t there is also hope. There is always hope.**

**Kage Elric: Oh my! I made you late for school! I feel...flattered, that you qould read this sotyr even when you have something more to do. Thank you!**

**XxBlEdDiNg BlAcK rOsEsXx: The flue is the evil among all evils. Unfortunately for me, I get it about 5 times a year. I hate it every single time. And hating Kagome doens't make you mean. She is kind of hateful right now... **

**AllySan: Jaja, ok, creo q acabas de descubrir una de las cosas q va a pasar en capítulos futuros...**

* * *

**Fragments of A Shattered Moon**

_**Of Dying, Reviving, and Deals**_

_This is goodbye to your old life and hello to a new one, so keep your chin up, keep strong ,and don't mess this one up._

_Not everyone has a chance at a second life._

* * *

Kagome squeezes Kaede, not wanting to let go, knowing she will have to do so in no time at all.

She will always want more time, and she'll always be denied it. But she does not know this yet, and so she keeps wishing for one more minute.

She should know by now not to hope for anything.

Kaede breaks the hug, separating from the miko she has seen as a daughter. Kagome was never like Kikyo, but she can't tell her that. It would bring more tears. It would make the separation far more tear filled and much more painful.

The two miko, old and young, face each other with the same tired, pained eyes that are overwhelmed by duty.

How Kaede wishes Kagome's blue eyes didn't hold so much pain. They have so many years between them, and yet none in the eyes. They have the same shadow, the same dark edge of someone that has felt too much pain, seen too much and done much more.

Kaede knows Kagome will see, do, and feel even more.

Kaede can't be weak now, though. Kagome is barely holding on her own, at the edge of denying her duties, not wanting to go with Sesshoumaru, and ready to go back to her self-pity act.

Kaede can't allow that, so instead of kind words and advice on how to keep seeing the bright side of everything, Kaede is harsh. "It will be difficult," she starts. "Your journey won't be easy, at all."

"Like I don't know that already," Kagome murmurs.

Kaede continues as if nothing has been said. "You will feel like giving up. Your mind and body will hurt. Sometimes, you won't see the end of it. You won't even see the point of all your hard work. Endless battles. Never peace. Always at the edge on being killed. Forever attentive to your surroundings. Your guard always up. You won't be able to catch your breath. This is what awaits you. This and more horrible things you will have to face. "

Kagome's expression suggests that she already knows all this because she is already feeling it. She's been on this crusade for three years. She knows all the difficulties, the hard weather, the late nights taking guard, and all those things she hated before, but were bearable because of her friends.

She doesn't have them anymore.

"But you can't give up," Kaede says roughly. "Because it is your duty."

Kagome makes a face.

"Because you started this." And it is a low blow.

Kagome's face contorts with pain, but she does not say anything. They know she broke the pearl, and it wasn't completely her fault, but Kaede has to make her see that there is no way around this. "You'll do it because maybe, at the end, you'll be able to go home, and because, maybe, if you had been able to go home now, it would all be destroyed."

Kagome looks at the ground, not really getting her last words.

"You'll do this, Kagome, despite how hard and horrible the task seems, and you'll give your best."

"Can't you come with us?" Kagome asks with a shaky voice. Her eyes are on the ground.

"No, I would slow you down. I am old. In a fight, I wouldn't be of much help."

Sesshoumaru has given them some space, but Kaede sees his eyes turn to her, an affirmation of her words.

Kagome looks up. "I had to ask," she says.

"I know."

They stay silent for a while. Kaede hasn't let her mask of hardness fall. Kagome tries to put her hope away.

It has never brought her anything good.

"I wish I could stay with you just one more day."

Kaede shakes her head. "You would want another day after that."

Kagome nods knowingly. If she was asked, she would want one more day, minute, anything, with Inuyasha and the rest.

One more girl-to-girl chat with Sango.

One more wise word from Miroku.

One more game with Shippo.

One more smile from Inuyasha.

Just one more.

"Will I ever see you again?"

Kaede doesn't respond immediately. All the answers she could give would not satisfy. "Maybe," she finally says. "But it won't be for a long time."

Kagome nods. "Okay." What else can she say?

Without saying more, Kagome grabs the few things she has left, turns from Kaede, and walks towards Sesshoumaru. She doesn't stop until she is next to him, and even then, she doesn't look back. Kaede watches as the two walk away from her until they disappear from view.

All that time, Kaede only wished to call back for Kagome and tell her how much she means to her, and how sorry, truly sorry, she is that all this has happened.

She saw Kagome when she first arrived, all hope and innocence. She watches her go now, not at all hopeful, but still naïve.

She will lose that naivety at Sesshoumaru's side.

Kaede picks up her things and prepares to hide.

And all that is left of a past full of tears and smiles and happiness is a tree and a well.

There aren't even tombs for those who have died.

***

He's not good at teaching.

It is not, of course, because he lacks the skill to teach. It's simply because he lacks the patience to teach.

Patience is something he always left for those underneath him. It was something he always thought was necessary if one lacked the skills, power, or connections to get what one wanted.

That had never been his case.

He is Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Territories, even if they are no more than pieces of rock and all his servants, allies and subjects burned with it. Okay, maybe he is the ex-Lord of the Western Territories. Still, he is Sesshoumaru Taisho, and if he wants something, he gets it, and that is the end of it.

Except for his wish to kill Inuyasha.

And Naraku.

And obtaining Tetsusaiga.

And not needing the miko's shard-finding services.

Anything relating to his half brother, really, who now happens to be dead.

Inuyasha's death did not bring Sesshoumaru the satisfaction he thought it would bring, and maybe it has something to do with the fact that he never got to kill him.

Naraku did.

Sesshoumaru isn't one for sentimentalism. He never liked Inuyasha. In his opinion, his life would have been better if he had never existed, but that doesn't take away the fact that he was his last living relative, and they had the same father. He also watched him grow and taught him how to fight, and…

That is in the past.

If someone was going to kill Inuyasha, it was to be him, and only him.

Naraku changed those plans. He changed the way things were. Not only did he destroy his kingdom and leave him with nothing. Not only did he kill Jaken and Rin, sweet Rin who was but a child. No. It was not enough for the hanyou.

He also killed Inuyasha, an act that was reserved for only Sesshoumaru, and he would make sure he would pay.

He would make Naraku's death a thousand times worse than the death the hanyou had brought to his half brother. It is something that has to be done to restore the family name.

Sesshoumaru feels bound to do it by honor.

And because Inuyasha was his kin, after all. Even if he would never admit it, even to himself.

He wonders just how many times he will have to kill and revive Naraku to make him pay for all the things he owes him.

He is suddenly glad his father left him Tenseiga.

However, the problem remains that he has no patience for teaching.

Sesshoumaru's eyes travel to the young miko who is currently falling on her butt due to her incapacity of doing a spinning kick.

Even dead, Inuyasha somehow manages to make himself a nuisance. For even if it is silly and makes no sense, Sesshoumaru blames him for Kagome's lack of coordination.

He truly doesn't want to deal with the inexpert miko, but he has no choice. As much as he hates to admit it, he knows he needs her. He's never needed anyone, and as he watches her fall once more, he wonders just why exactly he has to need _her_ of all living beings.

He truly does think he could do much better without her by his side. He would certainly be able to skip all the schooling. He could go on his own. He is sure he would eventually find Naraku. The hanyou would not be able to stand having all the glory and still needing to hide from him. Even if he did decide to hide, Sesshoumaru has time, and they would meet eventually. Besides, how much and for how long can the new ruler of Japan hide?

Except he doesn't have the patience to wait for his revenge, and looking for Naraku under all the rocks of this damn earth doesn't sound like a good plan.

He could also knock at his castle and kindly suggest the guard take him to Naraku so he can kill the insolent beast. He could also go to Naraku's castle, kill everyone, burn everything down, and then kill Naraku in the most painful ways. Those sound like very appealing plans. In his opinion, the second option is the better. He is warming up to it.

He is sure the rest of the living population, if they had a choice and weren't dead scared of Naraku, would choose his option, too.

Sesshoumaru wishes things were that simple, but there is the problem of the Shikon No Tama.

While he could go and kill Naraku, the hanyou is currently in possession of the pearl, elevating his power.

His only remaining chance is destroying the pearl, completely. Naraku has everything but one piece. Sesshoumaru can't destroy the pearl if it is not complete, therefore he needs the miko.

He hates logic.

Just his luck that the most untrained and incapable miko is the only one that can sense the shards.

Naraku has every youkai on his side looking for the last piece. He has thousands of youkai, hanyou, and humans searching all over Japan. Sesshoumaru has the miko.

Someone hates him.

Sesshoumaru is no idiot. He knows he can't win against that. There is a race for the last shard, and the only thing on his side is the strange connection between the human and the pearl.

He knew that before Naraku became all mighty, which is why he decided to join his half brother, who died at the worst possible moment, leaving him alone with the miko, who cannot do a proper spin kick.

He walks to her without saying a word, and he does the movements of the kick slowly, exaggerating them so that she can see. She gulps, closes her eyes, and when she opens them, Sesshoumaru sees something in her eyes that looks close to determination. She takes two deep breaths and copies his movements. She is graceless. She doesn't spin her feet in the precise way. Her kick doesn't really have strength, but she doesn't fall.

It is a great improvement.

"You know…" she starts, her eyes fixed on everything but him. Sesshoumaru is already tuning her out. "I never thought you would be teacher material. I mean, really, you were always so…um…" She doesn't seem to find a proper word to describe him. "So, yeah…"

And as always, she says nothing. She only babbles.

"I am no teacher."

"You are teaching me."

"No," Sesshoumaru tells her, pinning her with his intense look. "I am not teaching you anything." He would never teach someone as insignificant as her. She makes him waste his words with her. Does that deserve a punishment? "I am simply making you less of a burden."

She opens her mouth. Sesshoumaru has no doubt that she has something to say to this, but he stops her, grabbing her forcefully by the arm. He does not hurt her. He merely uses enough strength to prove a point.

"Pick up the sword. I will spar with you."

"What?" she says, outraged. She tries to free her arm, but Sesshoumaru is not allowing it. "Are you insane? I don't know how to use a sword."

"This is why I will fight you."

A small smile forms on her lips. Sesshoumaru does not understand why. Then she opens her mouth.

"Then you _are_ a teacher."

If only someone else could feel the shards…

Someone that shows him respect could be a quality to look for in a shard detector. Despite his best efforts, the miko shows no respect towards him. He's thought of killing her, but then he has to remember his new goal of life: finding the last shard. He needs her to accomplish it. Someone who didn't talk. Why can't a mute find the shards? She hasn't stopped talking since she got over the shock of being brought back to life.

He tolerated her better when she had her mouth closed. He'd prefer someone less annoying. He finds himself bothered by everything she does. The way she breathes, walks, eats, everything she does is annoying. He has already made up his mind to kill her after all is over and done with.

But meanwhile, there is no one else. Sesshoumaru doesn't need anyone's help, except for the miko.

Complete bad luck.

Even if he did, by some miracle, need more help, there is no one to turn to. They are all scared. Every miko is hiding. Humans seem to have been erased from the planet. Youkai and hanyou are either on Naraku's side or hiding, too. No one is brave enough to do anything, and terror is starting to invade more than the people's hearts.

Even in brought daylight, shivers run down your spine, and you expect someone to jump out and kill you.

Sesshoumaru dares them. He needs to feel the blood running down his claws, feel the adrenaline of a good fight, and refrain from killing the miko.

"Are you even listening to me?"

Sesshoumaru once more pretends to not hear her. Instead, he watches as she marches towards the swords and begins to swing them around. The only thing she can do is charge miko power into it. At least she is not completely useless when she does use her powers.

The human does a terrible job with the sword, though. He considers that she has never really needed to fight. Not in the true sense of the word.

She purified some demons, tossed some arrows, got in a lot of trouble, and eventually was saved by someone.

That is not acceptable anymore.

Sesshoumaru won't admit it, but she does have potential. She could be a powerful miko. He doesn't really know how that could ever be accomplished. Tenseiga vibrates at his waist. It tends to do that every time the miko is radiating strong feelings, which tends to be very often.

Sesshoumaru truly thinks he should have left her dead.

As much as he needs her to find the last shard, he will leave her if she becomes more burden than actual assistance. He will not let anyone slow him on his search for revenge, especially not her. He has never met anyone as clumsy as she, and he had to experience Rin trailing along.

A sudden pain of loss invades his heart for a moment, and memories of a young child with broken teeth and a smile set firmly on his mind. He can see her, as clearly as if she was right in front of him. Her eyes are shining with innocence and her smile is happy and she is offering a flower and he doesn't take it, but her smile never leaves its place.

It is there, illuminating a face too bruised to be pretty.

Sesshoumaru pushes the memory away. He diverts his mind because she is dead. Sesshoumaru killed her. Naraku put part of his body in her and made it impossible for him to bring her back again, to allow her life.

Rin is forever dead. Tenseiga could not bring her back, and instead he brought this miko back to life.

And Rin would not be of any help right now, but for a moment he forgets practical and just wishes to have his surrogate daughter back.

He shuts his mind from more memories.

He cannot support such weakness, now or ever.

He cannot think of Rin when he has this woman who is not Rin but somehow has something of Rin inside of her. He can't think of her when the human in front of him looks so much like her.

Old questions come to his mind, taking his mind away from hurtful thoughts and into confusing ones.

_Just who is she?_

The only thing he knows about her is that she was almost his half brother's miko. Never truly his, seeing as he belonged more to the dead miko than Kagome. She got along with Inuyasha's group, and the group seemed fond of her.

They would have given up their lives for her, and probably did, though he can't figure out why.

She apparently has no home to return to. At least, she doesn't seem in a hurry to get anywhere. The only time she acted as if she had somewhere to go to was when she jumped down a well. The deed was so sudden that he had not even acted.

One moment she was next to him, and the next she had thrown herself into the well. He had stayed right where he was for some time, not really sure if he had seen her do just that.

What kind of idiot threw herself down a well?

He had, out of curiosity, gone to see if she was still alive.

She had been, though by the look on her face, it was like she had just seen someone else die…again.

Her legs were under her. Her hands were formed into fists. Her bangs covered her eyes. She was shaking uncontrollably. Her foot was twisted. Physically, she was fine, but it had been as if the last part of her had broken at last.

After they had left Kaede, she had not spoken for a week. Sesshoumaru thought it was the best time of his life.

Then, one day, she had woken up, and it was as if that little episode had gone away. She started talking again, and Sesshoumaru found his new peace lost.

Two weeks after his golden week and she could not shut her mouth.

He had decided to train her, or at least point her towards avoiding stupid things like that. With the trouble he went to bring her back to life again, she couldn't do something like that again; it ruined his plans.

After she found the last shard, she could go throw herself down another well for all he cared. He would even help her find one.

In the meantime…

Sesshoumaru takes the remaining sword from the ground. The miko stops her tinkering and faces him.

"This is not a good idea." She doesn't want to fight him. He doesn't blame her. Better youkai have fallen under him.

"You will fight." Sesshoumaru takes a fighting position. The miko reluctantly does the same. He waits to see if she attacks, but she makes no move, so he attacks, and…

She doesn't block, and Sesshoumaru finds himself once more in front of a dead miko.

Tenseiga vibrates at his side, and Sesshoumaru takes it out as if it is a burden.

He could leave her dead this time…

But Rin's laugher floats through his mind, and flashes of her face once more cross his head. He can see her white flower offered once more, and Rin always liked this girl.

She always told Sesshoumaru how much she liked to spend time with her. He also does need her to find the shard. And he did make that promise to his half brother.

He can't break his word.

He prepares to bring her back to life…once more.

He truly should try a hand at patience. She truly should have blocked that hit. Maybe he should show her how to fight before actually fighting her.

He isn't teacher material at all.

***

"You could have _not _killed me!" Kagome yells. She is beyond irritated. Sesshoumaru doesn't even look mad about 'accidentally' killing her. She can't believe the nerve of him. On second thought, and remembering just exactly who he is, she can.

That doesn't change anything, even if he did bring her back to life, for the second time in a month. He just can't go around killing and bringing her back to life. She will have none of it.

"You can't just launch yourself at me and expect me to block like I'm some sort of expert or something."

Sesshoumaru just looks at her through dark, golden eyes. The similarities and differences those eyes have with Inuyasha's choke her with a feeling of anguish, but she pushes it down.

She can't mourn now. She won't let herself break in front of Sesshoumaru…again. She has to be strong. She has to be strong. She has to be…

"Inuyasha would have never allowed you to do that!" The words come out of her mouth before she can even think them. She sees her mistake even before they leave her mouth.

His hand is around her neck. She didn't even see him move. One moment he was there, pretending to not listen, and the next he has her by the neck.

"I'm not Inuyasha. I'm not one of your friends. If you make the mistake of thinking differently, I will forget your usefulness, as little as it is, and rid myself from you." His face is blank, controlled. His voice is cold, unfeeling, and Kagome has to remember that she is not dealing with Inuyasha.

He is dead. This is Sesshoumaru in front of her, and the things that applied before no longer do, and Sesshoumaru will kill her if she continues to speak without thinking first.

Would he revive her again?

He has already done it twice, and she doesn't think it prudent to find out.

Her friends are dead. Her love is dead. Even Kikyo is gone.

Sesshoumaru is all that is left.

"You don't understand…" she whispers softly. "They are dead, and I am not, and what the hell am I suppose to do now?" He hasn't released his hand from her neck, but he loosens the pressure. "I have nothing. I have lost it all. It doesn't make sense. I can't go back home. I have no family. No nothing." He takes his hand from around her neck.

"Just because you haven't lost anything doesn't mean you have the right to…"

And Kagome is too overwhelmed by all she feels, and she is never going to be able to finish crying for her friends.

She is weak.

She is no Miroku, who faced the prospect of death with a smile.

She is no Sango, who gave her the love of a sister even when her own brother repeatedly tried to kill her.

She is no Shippo, who lost all his family but was not afraid to start a new one.

She is no Kikyo, who came back from the grave, brave and strong, the true miko Inuyasha was never able to stop loving.

She is no Inuyasha, who could face the worst problems with unshakable confidence.

She's just Kagome and that is not much at all, and all that made her complete is gone. She can feel the tears starting again…

"And, just…who the hell…" Kagome struggles to yell at him, to get it all out, but it is too much to come out. It is too much. Everything is too much. This is too much. How long until she breaks?

"Don't make the mistake of believing you are the only one that has lost it all."

Sesshoumaru says it so quietly that Kagome almost misses it. She looks at him with surprise. And she suddenly realizes there is no Jaken or Rin next to him. He hasn't once talked of going back to his lands, and…

'_Please'_ she thinks. _' Don't let it be...'_

"Where is…" She is afraid to ask, afraid of the answer. She can't get the words out.

"She is dead. Jaken is dead. My lands are lost. Inuyasha is dead." He looks at her sharply, and she can only think, '_god, oh god, why, why, why_…'

"Do not feel as important as to believe you are the only one that suffers."

Kaede lost it all, too, but she stood up and took care of her, even with her dead sister and failure at her duty. She helped Sesshoumaru get his arm back. She even had the energy to snap at Kagome and make her go with Sesshoumaru.

And Rin…sweet Rin, Rin, with those big, innocent eyes, Rin…

"No…"

He keeps looking at her with that look that makes her feel so damn horrible.

Because he has lost it all, too.

His adopted child is dead. His loyal servant is dead. His lands are no longer his. His last living relative is now gone, too, and with him his last connection to his father…And maybe they never got along, but he was still his brother, and Inuyasha's loss is not only her loss. Her grief is not only her grief.

Others suffer, too. How many more families have been broken? How many people are shaking in terror right now?

_´You don't see him crying because he's lost it all, do you? ´_ Kagome`s annoying inner voice says. Kagome thinks Sesshoumaru really wouldn't cry for anything, but she omits from fighting more with her…eh, self.

And she feels like the most selfish person in the world.

How many people are suffering right now? How many are terrified of Naraku? How many can she help?

"I told you before, you have to be strong," Sesshoumaru tells her. "You have to be strong now because you only have yourself, so pick up the sword and start training."

And it's true, oh so true, and Sesshoumaru is cruel, oh so cruel, and this is it.

This is her new life.

This is how things are going to be from now on.

"_Stop feeling sorry for yourself,"_ a voice that sounds like Inuyasha yells on her mind. _"The bastard is right, so do what you do best and find the shard."_

She closes her eyes for a second, pictures Inuyasha in her mind…_`Yes, Inuyasha,´ _she thinks. _'I will do this.'_

She can help. She can do something for others. She has to snap out of it. She can't be a nuisance. Sesshoumaru is right. She only has herself, and she has something to settle with Naraku, and no, she doesn't have the luxury of falling now.

She can go curl up and die somewhere when Naraku is dead. Hell, maybe she will even ask Sesshoumaru to push her down a well after all is over, but right now, she has to fight. She has to be strong. She has to get up, bring herself back up from the ashes.

"Sesshoumaru…"

He doesn't turn to look at her. His earlier confession is something that doesn't even cross her mind to speak about.

"I will help you defeat Naraku." She says it with a steady voice. Her new goal brings determination back into her sullen eyes. She can feel her blood pounding. She will not let the death of her friends be in vain. She has to pick herself up. She can do it. She will do it. "I will help you find that last shard and rid this world of the pearl."

"I wouldn't have taken no for an answer," he says arrogantly. Kagome rolls her eyes.

And Kagome doesn't know why, but she suddenly feels very grateful towards

Sesshoumaru, who has already killed her once and tried to kill her…a lot of times before.

At least he doesn't allow her to fall and cry.

He keeps her up and Kagome…

Kagome wishes it was Inuyasha, but Inuyasha is dead, and the only one that is left is Sesshoumaru. He may not like her, and she may not like him, but they are all they have. They can only rely on themselves, and each other.

"Sesshoumaru…" she says again. The youkai doesn't turn, but he stops moving. "Let's make a deal." She better do this now before she loses her courage.

"Why ever would I make a deal with you?"

Kagome crosses her arms over her chest, her stubbornness returning. "Because I won't do anything until you agree."

Sesshoumaru turns those unfeeling eyes towards her. Kagome gulps; aware he can make her do something even if she doesn't want to. She keeps firm on her decision. He keeps silent.

"You can't hurt or kill me again," she says. "Not even accidentally."

He seems to be thinking about it. "What would I get in return?"

"My best."

"Your best?"

Kagome nods.

"I will give you my best in everything."

"Will you keep quiet?"

"Ah…"

Sesshoumaru looks to the sky, as if asking why he, of all beings, has to be stuck with her. "I will have nothing but the best," he finally says.

"Okay." She extends her hand towards him. He looks at it, hesitates, and then shakes it. There goes his plan for killing her after this is over.

"This is stupid," he says after he removes his hand from hers. "I would get your best even without the deal."

Kagome rolls her eyes. "It's to build trust between us."

"We don't need trust."

"Sure we do."

"I don't."

"Sesshoumaru…"

"Kagome…"

They continue to quarrel about a deal already made, not giving in to the other, and trying to squash the other.

Sesshoumaru has never talked so much in all his life.

Kagome wishes she could sit him and finish this conversation, but he isn't Inuyasha. She doesn't have the necklace, and she doesn't think he would take being "sat" in a light way.

At all.

And life is full of turns.

* * *

**Yey! Another chapter done! This story is finally moving on, and yes, they'll suffer more, but hey, at least now they can't kill each other! So, the next chapter is already with my editors, so you'll have it sometime the next two weeks!**

**Also, review! I do want to know what you think of this, and this story is growing on me so much that I want to know if I'm having the same effect with you!**


	7. Blood of the Children

**I think I got this chapter on time. Did I get it on time? Please, please, please, tell me I did because I really tried!**

**Okay, now, for the comments I've been reciving...yes, I know it has a lot of description, but trust me, I just had to do it or the characters would not forgve me and they would bother me forever (I know it sounds crazy, but it is true). And...I know present tense is confussing. It's hard for me to write it, and I'm absolutedly certain this is my one and only long story that is going to be written like this. However, I can't chance it now. It would feel wrong.**

**Love you all, and I hope you understand. Also, this chapter is dedicated to InuLuvsKag4eva25**

**Thanks to...**

**InuLuvsKag4eva25 - You understood it! You got it! OMG! You got it! You got the meaning of this story, adn I can't tell you how happy you've made me. This chapter is for you, because...you totally got it.**

**lucas - I'll try to cut down on the over description. Now that things are goin to start moving, I think I will do that. Just tell me if I'm succeeding.**

**AngelofMist - I promise things will get better in the next chapter.**

**Kairou Watoshimi - Oh, I have this great plan for Kagome's transformation! You'll have to wait, though, because it's going to take a long time, but...I'm hoping you'll love it.**

**lilly - don't worry. I understood, and thank you for your criticism, it helps me a lot. Oh, and I'm working on the over describing, like I told my other reviwer, tell me if I'm doing a good job at putting it down. It's you who helps me with those details.**

**AllySan- experta en espada? No creo, jaja, pero estoy pensando en conventirla en experta en ss poderes de miko, y hacer cosas q otras mikos no pueden, o algo asi, pero pelear con espada? Si, no va a ser excelente, pero va a ser bastante buena.**

**Lilith.31 - Nunca es una desgracia, y espero que te guste mucho este capitulo!**

* * *

**Fragments of a Shattered Moon**

_**Blood of the Children**_

_It keeps flowin__g, staining your hands with red. It's warm and he is getting colder, and you can't do anything about it while his life slips right through your fingers._

* * *

Despite their deal, things don't go smoothly.

Kagome keeps an eye on Sesshoumaru, her arrows out and a knife always close by. Still, she does all she can with herself. She learns to her best ability, exploits herself to the limit. It keeps her mind from the self-pity. It keeps her mind from all she's lost, from a home she can no longer return to, from the life she has been forced to abandon.

Sesshoumaru does his best not to kill her while training her how to fight. She has become better at hand-to-hand, and she does good enough advances with the sword. Her miko powers are still unstable and lacking, but there is the promise of power hidden in them. Sesshoumaru thinks she is still an idiotic nuisance and too clumsy for anyone's own good. He considers her inferior and he asks himself every single day exactly what he did to deserve this punishment. Over all, he makes her work hard.

They're always moving and he entertains himself by killing every single youkai a hundred meters from them. Only when he is busy can he not think of his lost lands, titles and Rin.

They keep themselves occupied to keep themselves sane.

They have been traveling for what Kagome believes to be two months already but she is not sure. Time passes differently for her now. All she has done is walk, train and walk and train again. She talks to herself, to the air, to the rocks and to the animals. She talks to all she can because Sesshoumaru refuses to talk to her if it is not to order her around or argue. She is dangerously close to losing it, and she needs to talk, but she has no one to speak to. She is afraid if she goes silent, the memories of how her friends died will become too fresh, too clear and she will remember them all with detail. What will she do then?

What will she do when the nightmares that darken her finally acquire bright, clear pictures?

So she talks nothing to no one.

Sesshoumaru doesn't understand how anyone can talk so much about nothing. It seems impracticable, in his mind. Doesn't the voice waste away after certain amount of time? To him, Kagome has used her amount of voice time and about ten more people's voice times in a lapse of over two months. Sesshoumaru finally comes to the clear conclusion that he must have done something more than horrible to deserve this punishment.

Was trying to kill his younger half brother something worthy of this punishment? No, he was just trying to restore the lost honor of his family.

Maybe all those humans, hanyou and youkai he has killed? Definitely not. They should have known not to mess with him unless they wanted death.

So what? What did he do?

Sesshoumaru can't come up with a good argument to deserve this, so he, once more, blames it solely on Naraku.

The only thing the traveling companions, these two completely different creatures agree on is that they dislike being together. They wish to rip off each other's necks, but they made a deal they both respect and so they keep standing.

Sesshoumaru teaches, trying to make her a somewhat useful thing.

Kagome learns, trying to make herself stronger, now that her life depends solely on herself.

And they hate each other so much.

Because Sesshoumaru is not at all like his brother and yet Kagome can't help but catch her breath as she catches a glimpse of white hair in the trees, or accidentally locks her eyes on his golden ones. Of course she knows that Sesshoumaru is nothing like Inuyasha. Where the other one was wild this one is serious. Where the other one was exuberant, this one is calm. Where one was a total mess, this one is all grace. Where one cared, this one doesn't.

But they have certain features, gestures and fighting technique that resemble each other, and when she catches Sesshoumaru doing something Inuyasha used to do, she can't help feel that her heart is being pierced by a knife.

She loved, loves, will always love Inuyasha.

He was her knight, her first love, the one that got away.

Inuyasha never loved her, always after the love of a dead priestess. Is this how he felt? Was this his desperation? To love someone that is dead and will never love you back? Is this why he searched for Kikyo in her?

Kagome looks for Inuyasha in Sesshoumaru, only to find too little semblance. She hates herself and him, and wishes he'd let her die.

But he didn't, and she hates it,except it is not so bad anymore, and that is even more horrible.

Sesshoumaru hates Kagome, firstly because she is a human. Second, because she is too weak and naïve for his own good. Third, because he does not like anything about her. Lastly, and most importantly, because he can see a shadow of Rin in her, and Rin is dead, so nothing should be like her.

All remainders of her should only rest solely on memory, and all the rest should be gone from this world.

But she exists, and she is sometimes too much like Rin for him to take in.

She doesn't tire of talking, just like Rin. She is not as scared of him as she should be, like Rin. She is clumsy and innocent and…her hair is black, like Rin's, and despite how much she has tried, she can't rid herself of that false hope that irritates him so much with its constant presence.

Kagome is like Rin. Sesshoumaru killed Rin. He stabbed her with his own sword and stayed by her side until all that was Rin left this world.

Kagome refuses to let all of Rin go by being like her, and Sesshoumaru hates it because Kagome will never be Rin and he wishes she was, yet knows it is not possible.

Their deal does not make things go more smoothly.

"You don't need to kill them if they are not attacking us!" Kagome exclaims.

Sesshoumaru doesn't even bother to look at her. His face is emotionless. His eyes are blank. He stands tall in all his magnificent indifference. Kagome is like a little hurricane, brewing too much noise and not controlling her emotions at all.

Sesshoumaru disapproves of her, but he never has approved of her, so it doesn't really change anything.

"No one can see us," he tells her. He doesn't know why he explains these things to her. It is not like it matters. She does not deserve any explanation, but it is a reaction she creates in him. He wishes he hadn't promised not to kill or harm her.

"But they don't even attack!"

"Because I do not give them the time to."

"They could be friends!" she yells.

Sesshoumaru has had it. He grabs her by her lower arms brusquely and brings her close to him. She is much shorter than him, over two heads, and her eyes are left starring at his chest.

He no longer wears his armor. He left it with all that united him with his old titles. He is dressed in black clothes, deciding white belonged to another time, and carries his two swords at his hip. He forces her to look him at the face, and he lowers his head just a little. The fabric under his arm is soft. He has often wondered about her strange clothes.

When the old miko offered her a miko outfit, she refused and opted for these strange, indecent garments. The blue long sleeve shirt that covers her neck hugs her body too tightly. The black pants are too tight, and the brown coat that goes all the way past her knees is of a fabric he has never seen, and despite it not being too much, the whole thing seems to shield her fragile human body from the cold.

If he wasn't so proud, he would ask her about her strange clothing; it has been driving him insane with curiosity for some time. She seems to hold many secrets, but he refuses to lower himself to ask her.

He has already fallen too much.

Winter has passed. The trees have defrosted, along with the rest of the snow, making everything gray. They are in that time where winter fades and spring does not yet come. Sesshoumaru finds himself with Kagome, who is too close to him to be of any comfort for both of them, in the middle of the forest, surrounded by trees dripping water and the earth full of puddles.

The beauty of the snow is gone. Its white shine has left the earth and in its place has left a gray outlook that flows with Sesshoumaru's mood and does nothing to improve Kagome's.

"We have no allies," he tells her, voice harsh and matter of fact. "Only us. You cannot trust anyone."

Kagome glares at him. Sesshoumaru takes a small moment to reflect on just what power drives Kagome to dare glare at him, but he takes that out of his mind. It is probably just stupidity, anyway. Instead, he puts his attention into explaining just why they can trust no one else, a fact that should not have to be explained, especially under their situation.

Did she not see her group eliminated? Is she too stupid to believe someone will help them?

It appears so.

"Not everyone can be on Naraku's side."

Sesshoumaru growls.

"Did anyone help you when they left you to bleed yourself to death? Did anyone stop Naraku from killing all those you knew? Has anyone done anything for you since you woke up?"

Kagome tries to free herself from him in vain. She never knew Sesshoumaru could get so angry.

"Kaede helped."

"And she is now hiding."

"You helped," she whispers, softly this time.

"Only because your help was required."

She has an ability to drive him to the edge in no time at all. There is something about her that irritates him and compounds him to lose his control mask of indifference.

Sesshoumaru, contrary to popular believe, is full of emotions, just like any other living being, but unlike the rest of the fools that inhabit this Earth, he controls himself. Kagome doesn't even try, and her constant changes of emotions, always visible to the world, somehow drive him to the edge.

He can not stand for her to be so…colorful. She is all that he is not, and he never knew such a small, insignificant creature could put his patience through so many tests in such little time.

Kagome, it seems, has no patience at all, too.

It is a bad omen.

He almost wishes she went back to pitying herself because at least then he did not have to stand so much change of emotions. He only had to deal with sadness, and that was easily ignored. Now, she even has the urge to show sympathy towards the enemy, who would not hesitate to kill them the first change they got.

But getting that through her head is not as easy as it seems, and she does what no one else has ever been able to do.

She drives him mad.

She can make him snap with no effort at all.

She gets him angry in seconds, something not even Inuyasha was capable of doing, and he was the bastard that tainted his family's name.

"We can't be the only ones against Naraku!"

"We have to believe we are."

"And what if someone is raising an army against Naraku? What if there is a rebellion forming right now that we could join?"

He doesn't understand how she managed to stay alive when she was with his half brother.

She is too…

She is not made for this world.

She would have done much better in a world where rules were followed and a mad hanyou couldn't take over the world as if it was the easiest thing ever.

Sometimes, it costs him to believe she is from this era. No one in this era is so naïve. Not even Rin or Jaken. She is too unreal, and it has fallen upon his hands to delusion her from the Utopia she lives in.

Not that he cares about breaking her petty dreams.

"Do not be stupid," he tells her with that hard voice. The hand almost bruising her arm loses a little force. After all, he did give his word to not harm her…physically. "Feel around you."

"To what point?"

"Feel."

For a moment, he thinks she will complain again. She seems to do that when ordered around.

She doesn't. Maybe they are making progress…

"I don't _feel _anything."

Or not.

"_Feel_."

She closes her eyes. For a few minutes, she does not say anything. Her eyes are closed tightly. He notices the scowl that comes to her forehead when she concentrates. Then, she gasps.

"The youkai…"

"Are coming closer." He tells her, face still expressionless. "They will continue to come closer if we let them."

"If they wanted to attack…"

"They are hunting for anyone that is a threat to Naraku,"

"You can't know that."

Idiocy is a trait of hers he does not stand.

"I know."

"You can't. You can't know what people are thinking by just sensing them."

Stubbornness is another trait of her he does not stand.

"You can do it if you _feel _them."

Her blue eyes stare at him with a mixture of curiousness and confusion. He has let go of her arm, but neither of them move from their position.

"How?" she finally asks.

Sesshoumaru, in the inside, allows himself a moment of victory. It seems curiosity is a way to make her do as he says.

"The aura, sense the aura, isolate it, and then feel it."

She purses her lips, opens and closes her palms a couple of times, and once more, her eyes close.

It takes her longer this time, but when she finally opens her eyes again, there is one more layer of sadness and loss in them.

"I didn't know you could feel someone's feelings like that." She says in a quiet voice. She lowers her eyes to the ground.

Sesshoumaru keeps quiet.

"They all feel…" And she sighs, finally stepping farther from him and giving him her back. "They feel like a threat."

Sesshoumaru nods. "Good," he tells her. "You will practice how to feel others at the same time you sense them."

"What if I don't feel them and just sense them?"

"You kill them."

"But that could…"

"Be the difference between life and dead."

"I don't think it's right."

Her back is still on him. She refuses to look at him. He gives not a damn.

"It doesn't matter if it's right. It is what has to be done."

"Life shouldn't be finished just like that, on an impulse, on…"

"It you feel like that, then do yourself a favor and learn to sense and feel fast. If not, learn to live with your conscience and stop bothering me."

He does not wait to hear more from her. He goes to kill the youkai and does not see how she falls on her knees and tries not to feel sorry for her enemies.

"Do it again."

"But…"

"Again."

Kagome is tired. She's been stretching her miko powers for over five hours, feeling all demons that come close, resting when Sesshoumaru goes to kill them, and then going back to feeling them again. She understands why she has to do it, but she does not understand why she has to get it perfect in one day.

Sesshoumaru orders her to feel without having to concentrate.

Kagome narrows her eyes at him, but she does as she is told, and once more, much faster than before, she finds two more demons.

"One is twenty meters to the North, the other one in the fourth branch of the tree at the left of the first."

Sesshoumaru goes to kill them.

Kagome thinks they should know by now not to get close, but she supposes with Naraku hunting mikos and all, they come for her only to find their dead.

He comes back, and she once more finds demons.

It doesn't take her long, though they are keeping their distance, and they seem more cautious. Kagome knows all their intents will be worthless. And she has become quite good at feeling and sensing at the same time.

Sesshoumaru, content with her advance with the sword and hand-to-hand battle, has been focusing with the miko skills.

He had her purify enemies in any possible way.

In all the time she has spent here, it is only until know that she is beginning to realize what being a true miko really means.

She remembers how Kaede never hesitated to kill a demon, and how Kikyo could destroy demons without even having to see them. It came as a second nature to her, to purify them.

Kagome never thought about that. She had always thought being a miko was traveling, giving some advice, and sometimes purifying some youkai.

She never thought about what a burden it was, and she thinks she should have known a long time ago.

Didn't she have youkai, humans and hanyou always on her trail because of the Shikon no Tama? Hadn't she had to mend bones and heal so many injuries they got in battles?

Hadn't she fought by their sides?

How could she have forgotten all the battle and tears and worries?

Miroku was threatened to be swallowed by a hole on his hand.

Sango was after her little brother to kill him if she could not save him.

Shippo had lost all his family.

Inuyasha wanted the pearl to be more powerful because he lived in a world that did not accept hanyou.

She had lived in a fantasy, not allowing herself to see how cruel the world could be.

Now, she is paying the price for not allowing herself to see reality as it was.

No one is sugarcoating her now.

Kagome senses and feels one more youkai, the last one, and she raises her bow, puts her powers into the arrow, and shoots.

A youkai falls.

Sesshoumaru's golden eyes look at her.

She refuses to meet his.

"That one was the last."

He nods. "We have to camp."

And that is that.

Kagome is learning the hard way what being a miko really means, just like every miko before her.

"I'm going for a walk."

Sesshoumaru's eyes follow her as she goes.

* * *

Kagome sits on a rock and contemplates nothing at all.

She is lost in thoughts of a wild, white, hair, fiery, golden, eyes, and ears like a pup. She is lost in memories of the only young man she has ever loved, and she wonders if her life would be different if she had fallen in love with someone, anyone, else.

Would she have stayed in this time for so long if she had fallen in love with someone from her own time?

What if she had laid her eyes in Hojo?

He is nice and sweet and seemed to have true, real, solid feelings for her. How many times had he come to her house, anxious about her well being, trying to help her with her studies, and always inviting her somewhere? He had tried to make her belong, but she had not been able to. Not when her heart had been only for Inuyasha, and her extra time spent had been used to rest a little or catch up on her studies.

She did not have time to be normal, and now she wishes she had accepted at least one of Hojo's invitations.

Would it have change the course of her life?

Or what if she had fallen in love with Koga? Would accepting to become 'his woman' have changed her course of life? Would it have at least spared her seeing those she cared for die?

Kagome covers her eyes with her hands.

Is he even still alive? He had one of the last shards, so maybe Naraku got to him and took it. If he did, the Koga is dead. If not, Kaede would have known, and such a secret she would not have kept from her. Especially not when she had lost so much.

Koga has to be dead, and Hojo will most likely forget her in no time and move on with his life. He should not wait for her like he did before. He should find a nice girl that would keep him company and reciprocate his feelings.

Just like Koga should have done.

Just like Kagome should have done.

Because she could not see anything besides Inuyasha, and her heart beat because of him, and she had done so much for the hanyou, sacrificed so much, lost so much…

He never saw her, and…

She had ended up stuck in this era with just memories that are not enough and will never be enough because, really, Inuyasha had never loved her.

Just like she had always loved Inuyasha, he had always loved Kikyo, and how could she blame him?

Kikyo had been strong, determined, beautiful, and everything she had never been able to do. All Kagome lacked, Kikyo had. Kikyo had been the true image of a miko, a woman, and Kagome was just the remains, the copy, the reincarnation.

Nothing but the whispers of what had once been a great miko.

Kagome's thoughts keep running along, trying to think of what she could have done to not end here, and eventually, her mind lands on Sesshoumaru.

No one had ever made her feel as useless as he has. He makes her feel like she is little and unworthy. He irritates her and angers her and makes her want to kill something.

She likes nothing of him.

At the same time, Sesshoumaru has taught her too many things to not be at least a bit grateful, and he gave her life again, even if she didn't want it.

He keeps her alive and watches over her as much as he wishes to kill her.

Kagome can't make up her mind about him. A big part of her hates him. A small part just dislikes him.

And one, tiny, insignificant part, is growing attached to the cold youkai.

Kagome mostly ignores that part of her even exists.

Kagome takes her hands of her eyes and stands up. It is getting late. The sun has already set. She has to go back to camp. She sighs, stretches her 'miko radar', as she is now calling sensing and feeling, and looks for youkai. Routine, really, because they have already killed all the ones who were close today.

She stands up and…freezes.

She takes one of her knifes out and turns around fast. A shadow moves, surrounding her.

She senses him moving all around her. She gets tired of his game and throws the knife at where she thinks the youkai will step next.

The shadow falls. Kagome can already smell the blood coming out of the injury. She walks closer towards it, ready to eliminate it.

The youkai most definitely feels like a threat, and she has to eliminate it.

She is closer to him. She puts a plant that is blocking her view apart, and gasps as she sees what is after it.

There, with the knife at the side of his abdomen, is a youkai, alright, but it is a young youkai. He looks like a fifteen year old.

Kagome's heart does a flip flop. Instincts take over. She rushed to the boy.

"Don't worry," she tells him. "I'll make it all better. Just let me get my kit…" She turns around to go look for her supplies. She does not see the evil shine in the youkai's eyes. The instant she turns, the youkai prepares to attack. He reaches with his claws towards the miko, ready to kill…

And all life leaves his body. His inert body falls to the ground. Kagome hears it, doesn't move for a second, and slowly turns around.

Sesshoumaru is taking his sword out of the lifeless body.

Kagome starts in horror. "He was just a child…" she whispers, and her horrified eyes find his.

***

He follows her because…

She's an idiot that can get into trouble by just breathing.

He has been with her for the last months, and she is…not someone you should stop watching if you want her to live. She trips while standing, cuts herself when there is nothing sharp around her, hits her head at least once every single day, draws anything that is dangerous close to her, and has a horrible sense of orientation.

She is the reincarnation of auto destruction.

Of course, she believes none of it and thinks she can defend herself.

Sesshoumaru knows better, so he follows her. He needs her alive. She can't find the shard if she is dead, and without the last shard, Naraku will not fall.

It is in his best interest for Naraku to fall.

He watches her from a close distance. His aura is strong, and she is already akin to it, so she pays no attention.

Ah, if only he could kill her…

He should stop making promises he does not want to keep.

She sits and covers her face with her hands. Sesshoumaru can feel the sadness come out of her. His impassive face frowns. She always does this when she is alone. She keeps herself angry and hating when she is close to him, but as soon as she thinks he is not paying attention to her, she lets her sadness come out.

Perhaps, she is better at hiding her emotions than he gave her credit for. After all, she must always feel sad, yet she can hide that emotion until she feels safe to express it. His frown deepens.

She is more complicated than he ever gave her credit for.

She falls and crushes and pities herself, but then she gets herself up and starts again. Sesshoumaru can see she is still broken. They all are. The whole world is. She's probably going to be broken forever, but she is trying to mend herself again.

Her sadness does something to him.

He hates her for complicating his existence.

As she keeps crying, a third presence, not really strong, approaches her. He waits to see how she will act.

To his surprise, she actually catches this third presence quiet fast. The intruder moves. Kagome throws her knife at him. To make his surprise bigger, she actually hits him.

The figure falls. The miko approaches, and then she gasps and throws everything away.

"Don't worry," she tells him. "I'll make it all better. Just let me get my kit…" She turns, giving the youkai the perfect opportunity to attack.

Sesshoumaru acts purely on instinct, and the youkai finds himself with his sword through him.

He dies instantly.

And it is only then, when the youkai falls, that he realizes he was just a child.

Sesshoumaru has never killed a child, not even his half brother, who he had promised himself he would kill.

"He was just a child…" Kagome whispers. He turns his eyes to her, to those blue eyes that are looking at him like he was a demon.

And he is.

The blood of the child keeps coming out of his body. It reminds him of when he found Kagome, broken and surrounded by death.

He was just a child…

He keeps his face black. He has to. He did not…The youkai was going to kill her, and he had to keep her alive, and…

Just a child, just a child, just a child…

An innocent child, although probably sent by Naraku, but he could have just stopped him, immobilize him, just…

A child. Like Rin. Just a Child.

Rin, Rin, Rin…

But they had been fighting for so long, and he was used to killing before asking, and…

A child. Like Inuyasha had once been. Like Rin had been. Just a child. Nothing more. Even for a youkai, he was young, and…

"Are you not going to say anything?" she yells at him.

For once, his eyes do not narrow. He keeps everything emotionless, and he does not answer back.

"Say something!" she yells, putting both her hands on his shoulders and trying to push him back. He doesn't move an inch. "Do you feel nothing?" she yells at him.

He finally answers back. "He was the enemy."

She tries to push him again. Sesshoumaru remains impassive. She pushes and pushes and gets him nowhere. His mask doesn't slip at any moment.

Finally, she tires. "Damn you," she whispers softly. Her hands form tight fists. When she looks up at him, there is nothing but loathing in them. "You are the cruelest person I've ever known."

He walks away, back to camp. It is only then, when he puts enough distance between them, that Sesshoumaru lets the turmoil he is feeling reach his eyes.

His golden eyes come to life, the self loathing clear in them. His face contorts.

And he thinks of Rin, who he had to kill, and he thinks of this child, who he killed because it was his first instinct.

His claws draw his own blood as he digs into his own palms, and he screams into the night until his throat hurts.

He isn't even sure if he is screaming for the kid he just killed or the child he lost. The memories of Rin are fresh, running in his head, and it doesn't make sense because they aren't even from the same species, but Rin was a child, and the youkai was a child…

Sesshoumaru can't bring the body of one of Naraku's henchmen back to life.

The body of the child grows cold on the ground.

Sesshoumaru tries to convince himself that the loathing on Kagome's eyes does not affect him. He tries to erase the image of distrust and disgust in her eyes from his head.

* * *

**Yeah, I know. I killed a child. I'm horrible, but he was the enemy, and he would have killed them, and, well, now Kagome is back to completely hating Sess. We'll see how the next chapter goes, and thank you for all your reviews! Keep reviewing! Oh, and if some of the powers Kagome has make no sense...I'm not sticking to the original story in that, so don't even ask...unless you don't understand them, because then, you can ask all you want abd I'll explain, or try to.**


	8. Grey

**I know this took me far more time than a ny other chapter, but with the epidemy, they vut school for two weeks, which means more work for me at school. I will try my best to give you chap.9 faster, but my finals are about two start, and I have way too many papers and work and...way too many things...just bare with me for a few weeks, and then I'll have vacations, and I'll be able to write more.**

**Thanks to...**

**However reminded me that I was already way too late with thic chapter. Really, thanks.**

**Marianne - I hope you enjoy this story as much as you did the other, and the one-shot will be done, just give me a little more time.**

**zero-serenity - Probably 30 chapters, give or take.**

**Kairou Watoshimi - I don't know if I already told you, but I am so honored that you would want to draw a fanart!**

**springscents - I read some of the chapters, and you are right. I'll do my best to work on that. Thanls for pointing it out.**

**InuLuvsKag4eva25 - Thanks! And I truly felt like giving you the dedication for last chap. Hope you keeo enjoying the story.**

**lucas - I don't know if there's a name for it. I started doing it in my first story "Pain of loving you", and it just stuck to me. I like to write the same scene with different points of view because it can really be different for both of them. If you find out the name, do tell me. **

**lilly - dismal, huh? Yeah, I think that is what I was hoping to get from this story. There's another story already in my head, which I will not start until I finish this one, but I think it's going to be like 'Twisted Hearts', you know, with less grieve and past tense, but for now, yes,that quote is great, mind if I use it for one of the chapters?**

**AllySan - Me gusta pensar que me apego a los personajes de tal forma que se como cambiarian dependiendo de las situaciones que van pasando. Todo lo que a uno le pasa y todas las decisiones que toma los transforma. Lo que me gusta es cambiar a los personajes de forma que sea creible, real.**

**v1cky84 - Oh, don't worry, it will move on. Just wait until I'm at the middle of it, and they know each other more. That way, I can make the world move around them and get them closer to each other, instead of making the world move so fast that they fall apart.**

**And now...enjoy.**

* * *

**Fragmets of a Shattered Moon**

_**Grey**_

"_**Light is meaningful only in relation to darkness, and truth presupposes error. It is these mingled opposites which people our life, which make it pungent, intoxicating. We only exist in terms of this conflict, in the zone where black and white clash."**_

_**Louis Aragon**_

* * *

_Sesshoumaru barely contains his rage. _

_He feels the force of his anger in his veins, almost as powerful as the poison that runs through them, gives him renewed strength. His eyes are red with wrath. His fists are tight. He snarls, losing his mask and so carefully placed composure. All those close to him take a few steps back, fully aware of the damage their Lord can inflict upon them. Sesshoumaru calls on his faultless self control to stay calm and try not to kill his allies._

_He will not let his family's name be tainted._

_He will not let his mother's name be muddied._

_He will not allow that illegitimate son of his father, that bastard, to live._

_Sesshoumaru leaves, for the first time in his long life, a battle unfinished. He gives orders to his generals to finish the battle, and then he turns and goes without another word to where his father is._

_As if it wasn't enough to have…created a bastard, his father did not tell him the 'joyful' news himself. He sent a letter that Sesshoumaru read and destroyed before going to the enemy's camp to kill all the unfortunates he laid his claws into. He could have won the war in that night, but his sense of honor did not allow him to rid the enemy without a fair fight._

_Sesshoumaru is now at the doors of one of his father's houses, with all his anger and hatred, and he has _never_ felt more alive. He has never felt such strong emotions._

_His mother would not approve of his first impossibly strong emotions to be hatred towards his father. She would be very disappointed. Fortunately for her, she is already dead and does not have to worry about such things anymore._

_Sesshoumaru can__not imagine how his father could ever find someone that could possibly be fitted to occupy his side. His mother was everything a noble youkai could be, and there was no woman more gracious, beautiful, or dignified to be the Lady of the Western Lands._

_There was no other female that could ever possess the strength and iron will his mother had._

_Sesshoumaru does not understand how his father could take someone else, and in such short notice!_

_It'__s been over one year since the death of his mother and maybe it is enough time for some, but Sesshoumaru still feels the ache of loss in his heart, even if the world believes he got over it the next day. Besides, if his father's concubine is already pregnant, then…_

"_Don't do anything I wouldn't do," she told him when he kneeled at her bed. It would be the last time he would see her living eyes. She did not give him soft words. She never had, and even death at her front door did not soften her. _"_Remember what I taught you."_

_Sesshoumaru couldn't get out of his mind the idea that his mother had been cheated, and if that was the case…_

_He never got to ask her a lot of things. Never got to ask her how she could smile even in the worst situations. She died a few minutes before that. __Sesshoumaru did not cry, did not say any words, and did not mourn. He stayed for her funeral and then went back to war like nothing had happened._

_But this, this stain on her memory, he would not allow._

_He opens the gates, sending them flying to the side, and walks through the gardens that lead to the front door._

_His father is waiting._

"_Did you cheat on her?" _

_No hellos or warm welcomes. No nice words. Sesshoumaru learned a long time ago not to wait for them from his father, and when his father decided he wanted to get closer to his son, Sesshoumaru did not care for his father's love anymore. __His father never cared, so Sesshoumaru stopped caring even before he became a teenager. _

_The older youkai, __the epitome of greatness and mightiness, moves his head to the side, as if been hit by his son._

_Sesshoumaru keeps his golden, furious, eyes on the youkai that is his father. _

_Taisho's eyes are hurt, but he stands __up to his son, and his eyes are not sorry as he answers. "Yes."_

_So simply__._

_Sesshou__maru is speechless for a whole minute. His eyes, moments ago furious, are filled with surprise. __Deep down, he wanted to believe it was all a lie, something he had imagined. He expected his father to deny it, to hit him for saying such atrocities._

"_Yes."_

_It couldn'__t be any clearer._

_The two daiyoukai watch each other silently for a long time. And then, just as suddenly as it came, the need to hurt his father evaporates. Sesshoumaru turns his back to his father and walks away. Before disappearing through the gardens, though, he turns his head, curiosity striking him. __His father hesitates, looks distraught, and finally lets out a __resigned sigh__._

"_A human princess."_

_Sesshoumaru leaves. He will never see his father again._

_***_

_Sesshoumaru, once more, finds himself facing the gates of another castle. This time, though, there are about fifty thousand soldiers between him and his target. Apparently, he has arrived in a time of war, and both armies, although resting, have done terrible damage to the other. The blood is still fresh. Death is in the air. _

_They have no idea of what awaits them._

_S__esshoumaru is an unexpected arrival, and he gives not a damn about who is on whose side. He has come solely to get his revenge and clear his mother's memory, and whoever gets in his way will suffer the consequences. Sesshoumaru, sword in hand, is anticipating the fight._

_Besides, all soldiers are humans, and Sesshoumaru's hatred for humans has grown considerably stronger in the last few months._

_H__e is down the hill in a second and the humans do not know what hits them. There is chaos and screams, and people seem to be dying for no reason. Sesshoumaru reaches the line between both enemies, stopping so they can see him. __He enjoys the terror he causes them. Then, he is on the move again, and not long after, he is killing the guards at the castle and making his way towards his father's concubine's room._

_There is no resistance. It seems everyone is outside or killed already. To his surprise, all he has to do to find the bastard by following the scent. It's too easy, and the last parts of him that denied his father ever cheating on his mother evaporates. There is no denying it now. This is the last prove he needed. The bastard's smell carries the scent of all the daiyoukai. It is without a doubt a Taisho._

_Sesshoumaru can't wait for the moment to kill him._

_He opens the door with a big bang, his sword is held high, and he is ready to strike…_

_Big, innocent, golden eyes stare into his. Sesshoumaru __freezes__ when he sees just how alike they are to his very own. There's some white hair growing on the infant's head. And he has two small ears pointed at his direction._

_Sesshoumaru can't believe how low his father's descendants have come. To make it worse, the bastard dares raise his hands towards him, as if asking to be carried. _

_Sesshoumaru almost dies of humiliation. How dare this bastard, this illegitimate son, this…mutt, ask this of him? Sesshoumaru raises his sword once more…_

"_He likes you." A soft, feminine voice says. Sesshoumaru turns, only to stare into the eyes of Izayoi._

_Izayoi, Taisho's lover, the brat's mother, and the very personification of everything Sesshoumaru loathes._

_Sesshoumaru stares at her. She is, not even he can deny it, an attractive woman, but Sesshoumaru doesn't see the grace his mother was born into, or the power and strength she always evoked._

_Izayoi is just pretty. _

_Sesshoumaru cannot see anything outstanding in her. Ye__t, there she is, calm and serene, as if he posed no menace to her and the child. He narrows his eyes at the human that dares taint his mother's honor and not take him seriously. He will kill her, too, despite his father's letters begging him to spare them._

_She has managed to bring his father to the deepest hole._

"_Your father said he wouldn't, but I knew my son would like you as soon as he saw you," she tells him. Her voice shows not a fragment of fear, and Sesshoumaru can't sense it in her scent. __She goes on. _"_Taisho…" Sesshoumaru__'s glare intensifies. She keeps talking like nothing interrupted her, "…told me he wanted his son to look up to him." Izayoi has a playful smile on her lips. Sesshoumaru wonders if she is suicidal. _"_But I knew my son would only look up to you, his older brother."_

"_He is not my brother," Sesshoumaru answers without thinking._

"_He is." Izayoi simply states._

"_Not."_

"_Is. Though…" Her face contorts a little, in the way he'll come to know it does when she is thinking. "He is your half brother."_

_Sesshoumaru can't really discuss this. _"_I'll kill him."_

_She frowns at that and takes a step closer to the mutt, as if that would be of any help. _"_Even dead…" __she says, "He would still be your half brother."_

_Sesshoumaru has had it. He has not come this far only to have a chat with this disgrace. __He raises his sword for the third time…_

_And, again, he is interrupted, though in a way he would never imagine._

"_Your mother…" s__he says, and Sesshoumaru can't help but snarl when she mentions her, "…told me to give you this." She takes a letter from somewhere out of her kimono and hands it to him._

_Sesshoumaru debates between killing her and taking the letter, killing her and ignoring the letter, or taking the letter and then killing her. __He takes the letter from her hands, opens it, reads it four times, before finally tightening it until in crumbles in his hands. _

"_What is his name?" he spits out. _

_She has victory written i__n her eyes as she answers. "Inuyasha."_

"_Pick up your things. I'm moving you."_

"_Does this mean…"_

_He doesn't look up at her. His voice is filled with venom. "Yes, I'm taking you under my protection."_

_On his way out, he throws his mother's letter to the fire._

_Izayoi sees how the words 'kill', 'child', and 'brother', disappear under the fire. _

_Sesshoumaru leaves the room, somehow without killing the mutt and instead taking them under his protection, and the words of his mother's last letter in his mind_

"_Don't kill an innocent child. That is not what I taught you, and he is still your brother. As your mother, and as your last favor to me, take care of them." __Sesshoumaru will kill Inuyasha when he grows older. Meanwhile, and Sesshoumaru sighs, defeated by the ghost of his mother, he will take care of the mutt._

_***_

He didn't kill an innocent child.

Not really.

The young youkai was going to kill Kagome, and he couldn't allow that, given the fact that he needs her to find the shard. All his hard work would have been ruined. He just couldn't have it.

He had to kill the kid.

Besides, he had already spent at least two and a half months training her, not to mention the months he spent waiting for her to recover.

Spring is dying, giving way to summer. Kagome has already ridden herself of the coat that somehow managed to warm her during winter. He is still not sure how such a thin coat could do that, but it did. The cherry blossoms that adorned the world with pink and white petals have fallen, and instead green surrounds them. The sun is clear in the blue sky, illuminating the lands Sesshoumaru is sure should not look as pretty during Naraku's reign.

He has had time to accept the fact that this world, the very ground he walks on, belongs to Naraku.

He will make sure that changes.

But still, as he goes back to their camp, carefully set in the middle of tall trees and bushes that cover them from view of curious eyes, he can't rid himself of the guilt he feels.

It isn't just killing the youkai. He could easily deal with that. It's just….the look on Kagome's face. He had, to his disdain, been traveling with her for four months and two weeks. Six months, two weeks, if you count the time she was asleep. In all that time, and only because of necessity, he had come to learn her gestures.

It was easy; she was like a book, even if she did hide most of her emotions from her aura, and even if the only emotions she allowed in his presence were anger and frustration. He had seen the look of hatred and fear she reserved for only Naraku. It came at nights, when he was on guard and she screamed in the night, nightmares that haunted her and left her hollow in the morning.

She always woke with the same look, fear lurking in her eyes, mouth tightly pressed, hands formed into tight fists, and just below the fear, the anger and hatred she reserved for Naraku.

Expect today.

She had given him that same look she only had when Naraku was in her thoughts.

It…stresses him, to have that look pointed at him.

They are allies. They need each other to accomplish their goals. Sesshoumaru is not sure of what the miko's goals are. She doesn't speak to him about anything important, but with the way she puts herself back together, she must be following a purpose.

No one fights with her determination, trains as hard, pushes herself to the limits, without having a purpose.

He should know. It was only because of a purpose that he became the strong, powerful youkai he is now.

He wants to know what drives Kagome, except everything she does is not his concern, and he will not start thinking about her more than necessary, and… He doesn't like the look Kagome gave him. He doesn't like the guilt that comes with it. He doesn't like to kill children, even if they are the enemy, and yet they have no choice. That young youkai can't be the last. He will have to kill more, and he will.

No mercy.

Not in this world. Not when it means she might get killed.

He brought _her_ back instead of Rin. He has spent too much time (days without sleeping, hours of training and correcting and giving directions) to have Kagome fall into her state of pity again.

He can't allow more time to waste. He has allowed himself to travel without a plan for the sake of making her a somewhat more decent ally, but it has to stop. He has to form a strategy to get back at Naraku. She has to start looking for the last shard.

***

"_Not everything is black and white."_

_Kagome makes a face before finally turning to the speaker._

_She has__ been thinking about Inuyasha and the recent add to their group in the form of Kikyo. It seems the miko wants redemption, and the only way she thinks she can get it is by destroying Naraku. Inuyasha asked her before letting her in, and as much as Kagome wanted to say 'no, of course I will never allow Kikyo to be part of our group', she had ended up saying. 'sure, Inuyasha, if you think she can help.' __Because of her stupidity and lack of determination, she has been forced to watch Inuyasha and Kikyo together since then. That is not the worst, though. The worse comes when she is home and Kikyo is right with Inuyasha, and she can do nothing about it._

_She is losing Inuyasha, but then, Kagome reflects, you can't lose what you never had. _

_Inuyasha has never been hers. He's always been Kikyo's._

_Kagome has never been Inuyasha's miko. She has only been the almost miko. The replacement._

"_It is, to me," Kagome stubbornly replies. _

_Miroku sits next to her, looking at his bandaged hand. "No," he states, just as stubbornly, "it is not." __Kagome opens her mouth to argue, but he silences her by putting his finger to her mouth. _"_Black and white can't exist in people,__" he continues. "There is only grey."_

"_Grey is a dull color."_

_He laughs, and the sound of it brings a small smile to her lips despite her sadness. __Miroku has the ability to put her in a good mood__ no matter the circumstances._

"_I suppose, but then again, it'__s the truth." Miroku turns his eyes to the big, grey, sky above them. "Grey is the color of the shadows, and it is the color every color must pass through before they become another. Grey is everything between black and white, but it never reaches either of them, just like people. No one is entirely bad or entirely good."_

"_But…" _

_Miroku shakes his head. "There is no such thing as absolutes."_

_Kagome looks at him for a second before crossing her arms over her chest. _"_I don't think anyone that is good can be evil at the same time."_

"_But they can. After all, Kagome, we have all done some terrible things, and yet you don't consider us evil."_

_Kagome shakes her head. "You were forced to do it."_

_It is Miroku's time to shake his__ head. "No," he tells her, voice full of the wisdom he sometimes shows he possesses. "We weren't forced to. We made a choice. Every time I swallow someone with my curse, every time Sango kills a youkai or Inuyasha destroys an enemy, and every time you purify a demon, we are given a choice."_

"_But we do it to survive, because it is us or them!"_

"_We could let them kill us, and then we wouldn't have committed any sins."_

_Kagome stares speechless at Miroku. What he says… _"_You are not saying…"_

"_Killing is killing, Kagome, no matter how you look at it. We take lives to keep our lives, but at the end, we still take someone else's life."_

_And of course, he is right, and nothing Kagome says can negate that. Still…_

"_But we are not evil!"_

_Miroku smiles. _"_Of course not. We do it because we are mortals, and no mortal wants to die. We do it without enjoying it,__ simply because it has to be done. We are haunted by those we kill, or we try not to think of them. We don't like other's pain, so we are not evil, but we are not saints. We are good tainted with bad, just like everybody else. We just have a bit more good in us, but I'm sure if you asked our enemies, they would tell you we are evil. It's just a matter of point of view."_

_Kagome thinks about that. In her mind, things have always been simply white and black. It had never occurred to her to think of the grey._

_Naraku and everyone with him are evil._

_Inuyasha and everyone at his side are good._

_But what about all those who are on the outside?_

_What about Sesshoumaru and Koga, who are just occasionally on Inuyasha's side?_

_As much as she thinks Inuyasha's brother is creepy, she does not think he is evil, and she would never think such a thing of Koga. _

'_Kikyo,' Kagome thinks, 'was good, but betrayal led her to do horrible things, and she became evil, and now she is trying to make things right.'_

_A person can't go back and forth if both realities do not live within one's own self. _

_Kikyo had given her life to keep the pearl safe. With her dying breath, she still complied with her duty. _

_And Inuyasha…_

_He had killed and destroyed for the pearl. He had almost killed her for it, and yet Kagome could only see the good in him._

_The same occurred with everyone else. Miroku killed thousands with Kazana and Sango had killed and still kills. Kagome kills. Every time she shoots an arrow, she kills._

_Yet, they are good._

_Kagome wonders what part of Naraku is good. After all, if they have bad in them, then he has some good, too._

_And Sesshoumaru…_

_If nothing is white and black and everything is grey, Sesshoumaru has to be the greyest thing ever._

_She thinks of Inuyasha's older brother, who has tried to kill them countless times, and yet sometimes comes to their aid. She thinks of the proud youkai that claims to hate all humans, but has a human girl under his wing._

_She is not so sure of black and white anymore._

"_We are good,__" she tells the monk anyway, as if eager for confirmation._

_He laughs again. "Yes, I like to believe we are." He is not yet done with his lecture today, but Miroku doesn't want to tell Kagome now about the two sides of the coin, how good is not too far from evil, just like hate is not far from love. He does not wish to tell her just how easily it is to pass to the other side, and how they walk too closely on the line between good and evil. He has come here for another reason. _

"_The same happens with love, Kagome." __He knows what she is feeling. He knows her heart breaks every time she sees Inuyasha with Kikyo. "Love is not absolute to one person."_

_But in this, Kagome is determined to not let him through. To her, love is very simple, and she loves only Inuyasha. She loves no one else. She could never love anyone else, especially not at the same time._

_Inuyasha can't love her if he loves Kikyo, at least not in the way she wants him to. __Kagome loves him, and if he loved her one tiny bit, he would return that love with all he has, but in Kagome's mind Inuyasha only loves Kikyo, and he has no space for her in his heart._

_Miroku knows better. He's lived longer, has had more experience, and he knows love is not something absolute, and one can never choose to fall in love. He sees the way Inuyasha sometimes looks at Kagome, with a longing to be by her side. He used to see the same look of longing when Kagome and Kikyo's place were reversed. When Kagome was there and Kikyo was not. Maybe, with one more month without Kikyo, Inuyasha would have been all for Kagome, but it was not to be._

_Miroku thinks Inuyasha is doomed to forever be between two women that are the same, and at the same time could not be more different. __Sometimes, it is hard for Miroku to see how Kagome can be the reincarnation of Kikyo when so much differentiates her. __Miroku doesn't think one can love two people with the same intensity, and the probabilities of being in love with two people at the same time are very improbable, but he knows, at the same time, that Inuyasha loves Kagome in the same way she loves him. He is, at the same time, in love with the memory of Kikyo, but Miroku thinks, if he had to choose, he would choose Kagome._

_Kikyo is his past, and Kagome is the future, and he knows Inuyasha understands this._

_What Inuyasha cannot take his mind from is the present, and yet Kagome has more of a pull to him than Kikyo ever did. __He is only paying more attention to Kikyo because he thinks he owes it to her. __He has no idea how to make Kagome see that._

"_I'm not saying he doesn't love me," she says quietly. Kagome is not stupid. No one would risk his life for her so many times in so many ways just out of duty, and, after everything they've gone through, after all the years they've been together, a bond has formed between them. Because she knows this, she also knows it is not only duty that binds him to Kikyo, and because he loves the memory of Kikyo and Kikyo at the same time, she knows she has no chance. __She is nothing next to Kikyo. She never has been, never will be. _"_I'm just saying he loves Kikyo more than he could ever love me."_

_Kagome stands up and goes. She does not want to talk about this anymore. Miroku watches her go and he watches how Inuyasha follows her with his eyes._

"_Nothing is black and white,__" he whispers._

_***_

Kagome stays at the same spot Sesshoumaru left her until the sun finally sets and the night surrounds her. She can't see the stars above her. Sesshoumaru chose this space so the birds couldn't watch them from the sky, and besides, if any youkai tried to hide, she would simply sense and feel them and be over with it.

She's become one very decent warrior, if she says so herself. She had to with all the training she's been through with Sesshoumaru. Every day is harder, and every day she pushes herself more.

But that is not important right now.

The body in front of her is beginning to smell, and it has turned cold some hours ago.

The face is still the face of just a child.

_´Nothing is black and white.'_

Miroku's words come back to her. She tries to push them away; she does not want to hear his voice in her head, not when she can't listen to it in real life. She does what she's been doing for the last months and pushes it away.

She can't deal with the memories. She's just beginning to pick herself up again. She knows she'll never heal from their deaths, knows she hasn't even begun to scar yet, but she can't…she can't welcome the memories. She can't break. Sesshoumaru will not allow it. She can't allow it. She can't permit herself remember anything about them. She will just fall apart, and Sesshoumaru made it clear that she only had herself now. No one would help her, and if she depends on anyone that is not her…

Well, Sesshoumaru made it clear that he only allows her to live because he needs her.

And Sesshoumaru just killed a child to protect her. He didn't even think about it. He only saw a youkai leaping at her, and he did the most rational thing and killed it. He did what they've been doing since she woke up and left the last person she cared about behind.

Sesshoumaru killed a child to protect her.

She is not stupid. She knows if he could have, he would have let her die. He only protects her because he needs the last shard.

But he killed for her.

He has…

... taken care of her, in his own way. He does not care for her. He loathes her very presence, but he has given her the weapons to survive in the cruel world she woke up to, and she just…

She knows what kind of look she gave Sesshoumaru. She gave him the one look she's been saving for Naraku, and no matter how much she dislikes and even loathes Sesshoumaru, he is not Naraku.

_'Nothing is black and white.'_

Would she have done the same, if their situations were reversed?

Would she have killed the youkai in front of her to save Sesshoumaru?

What has she become?

She knows their survival is important. They need to stop Naraku. It doesn't take a genius to know that. The world is worse with him on command. Life is nowhere to be seen. Anywhere they go; only death and fear follow them. The villages have been burned, the humans are close to extinction, and there is chaos all around.

It has to stop.

She needs Sesshoumaru to stop it, and she needs a plan, and they need allies, and…

Kagome lowers her head, tears beginning to form in her eyes, her bangs covering them. Her fists are tight, and her mouth is pressed hard, and Sesshoumaru killed a child.

So the child wasn't innocent, and he was about to kill her, but he was just a child, like Shippo before…before…

Before Kohaku took him away from her. Before…she won't go there. Kagome shuts her eyes tightly.

This isn't the same, and she can't…she can't.

Sesshoumaru is so goddamn grey…

But he is not her enemy. He is the only thing she has, and she hates it, hates the fact that of all her past life, it is only Sesshoumaru who remains. She hates how the youkai reminds her of the hanyou, hates how cold he is, hates the way he talks and walks and does _everything_. She can't stand his presence, loathes all their training, and all the time she has spent with him.

Yet he saved her, and he brought her back to life, and he has taken the time to train her, if only to make her less of a nuisance.

If he could only be anyone else…

He is not, though, and he is her…companion, of sorts. He doesn't deserve the look she gave him. He was only doing what he has been doing since she woke up.

Protecting her in his cruel way.

And if she is here, broken, but not yet defeated, it is because of him.

He killed a child, yes, but…her hand goes towards the cold body of the child that became their enemy. She grabs the wrist, fights back the urge to vomit at the feel of it, and grips harder. She allows the tiniest, most saddened face to grace her lips as her blue eyes open. "You were right." She can't say Miroku's name. It is just too painful. "Nothing is black and white." Then she is channeling her miko powers towards the youkai, feels as the body purifies and evaporates. She uses just enough force to do so.

She has to clean up so they leave no trail behind them. Her hand closes around itself as the body she was holding disappears. She begins to make her way back to camp, feels and senses, almost laughs bitterly as she feels a now very accustomed presence. Funny, how not that long ago, it was someone from his same blood she was vey accustomed to.

This is the new world she was woken to. There is nothing nice about it. There is no safe place. No one will give her a smile. No one will pat her shoulder when she does something right. In this world, no one will give a hug and let her crawl closer after a nightmare. This new world Naraku has created does not allow weakness.

'I have to be weakest one in it,' she thinks.

Funny, since she's one of the only ones who can stop him, but why should she work so hard to do it?

It's not like it will bring back the ones she lost. It will not open the stupid well and let her back into her own time. Killing Naraku will only make this world a bit better, but the scar will take way too long to heal, and she'll probably die before she can see any results.

Inuyasha and the others would be so disappointed of her if they could hear her thoughts…

Is she working so hard for them?

No, they are dead, and she does not allow them to creep into her mind.

Then why? Why is she even contemplating forgiving Sesshoumaru for killing a child when it is obvious he doesn't even care?

He cares for nothing but him.

He takes care of her.

'_Nothing is black and white'._

Kagome stops walking. The trees whistle as the wind passes between their leaves. The ground under her is warm with the remains of the sunrays. Sesshoumaru watches her from a tree, his eyes intense on her. Kagome can't help but wonder about what possessed him to come here. He usually tries to put as much distance between him and her as he can.

It seems to her that they are frozen in that moment for what seems like forever.

He killed a child to protect her, because he needs her, because his revenge will give her more satisfaction that killing her can. She has trained and killed and sensed and felt because…she is not sure why, but somehow it goes back to Sesshoumaru, and that day he made the decision to bring her back to life.

Maybe she would have killed a youkai child if it had been him that needed protection. Not that that could happen. Not that he would ever need her. Still, maybe she will have to kill her share of young youkai in the near future.

_´Nothing is black and white.'_

"I understand," she finally says, clear and loud so there will be no mistaking her words, not that Sesshoumaru can ever mistake anything she says, super hearing and all. "I understand," she repeats, a whisper this time, and it somehow sounds more believable. She truly does understand that what he did was necessary. This new world, this new life she has been given…she understands why he killed before actually seeing what he was killing.

Mercy is a luxury neither one of them can afford.

"I understand," she says for a third time.

Sesshoumaru moves from the tree and goes to the camp. Kagome knows he got the message. She sighs and dislikes him a bit less. She dislikes herself more for accepting something a year ago she would not have forgiven.

Sesshoumaru is the grayness her life has come to be.

* * *

**Again, I'm so so so sorry for taking this long, but things really have been hectic. I will do my best to give you chap. 9 faster, and vacations are coming (olny three more weeks and I'm free), and I'll write a lot, so you can readd the chapters faster.**

**Love you, and review review review.**

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Fragments of a Shattered Moon


	9. Paths that shouldn't have been

**I know, I know. I took forever to update, and I am terribly sorry (I seem to keep saying this in every chapter), but hey, I like this chapter, so maybe it's enough to forgive me?**

**Thanks to...**

**AllySan - Oh, Me da tanto gusto q te este gustando y que sientas lo que trato de transmitir!**

**XxBlEeDiNg BlAcK rOsEsXx - Oh, Kagome is going to learn a lot of things. ANd you'll find out she knows others. I will write a bit about her past (well, the one I invented, but I'm sure it'll fit...)**

**Trelweny Rosephoenixwolf - Oh, I'm a sucker for happy endings. Though you never know. Maybe I'll give you a surprise, hehe.**

**midnight - Oh, God, I can't stop blushing! That is such a nice thing to say!**

**zero-serenity - Uff, I passed all of my exams. But I seem to be a masochist and will be doing summer classes. I don't know what possesed me.**

**XOkaggyfanOX - They are very difficult characters, especially Sesshoumaru, so it's great when people think I understand them.**

**ancient-relic- I wanted to write a sad story. A story that showed the bad sides of living, so that the good ones would be extra especial. So that hope could shine better. I took the risk, and I am very happy with what I'm doing. Thanks for liking it, too.  
**

**amazinglychenille - Well, I do have some great editors, but the words...well, they come to me, hah, so it really is thanks to my muse, who hasn't failed me yet.**

* * *

Fragments Of A Shattered Moon

_**Paths that shouldn't have been**_

_Madness would be a sweater__ torture, an endless better end, a way out of this agony and delirium._

_At least, if she was mad, she would not be imagining that warmth buried under his frozen __gaze._

* * *

She doesn't deserve this.

Whatever she did in her past, all the horrible things she'll do in her future and the ones she partakes in the present will never be excuse enough for this punishment.

Besides, hasn't she had her fill of distress?

Isn't watching her friends die punishment enough for all her sins? Isn't being stuck in this era, away from her family, enough? Doesn't having to be Shard Detector again for the other brother reason enough to erase all ill things she has ever done?

Apparently not.

Kagome is getting tired of whoever thinks she has not had a good enough punishment; she truly does believe nothing justifies what is being done to her. She's already too…shattered. All the things that made her who she was are gone. She woke up, only forced to start training for whatever stupid thing Sesshoumaru has in his mind.

Kaede told her they had to find the last shard, complete the pearl, and kill Naraku. She told her they had to stop the lunatic and restore the world.

That was easier said than done.

She can't even save herself, how is she supposed to save the world? And with Sesshoumaru at her side and as her only ally?

This world is so going to end in a very bad way.

And then, why is Naraku not trying to kill them? If she was a crazy hanyou ruling over the world, she would be sending lots and lots of people to kill them, and she would demand the bodies, just to make sure.

Actually, she would probably follow the same path Naraku has. Get rid of the mikos. They could purify the hanyou if they all worked together, and they would never join him. Not the true mikos, loyal to their causes.

Well, she supposes if she was a hanyou, and a side of her was human, she would rid the new world she was trying to form from the side of him that makes him weak. Promise all the youkai power and the world at their feet. Except…Naraku will probably end up killing his strongest allies after he is in complete control, just so that no one can ever take that power away.

But why hasn't he sent someone to kill them?

Maybe he does believe that she is dead, but why wouldn't he send someone to kill Sesshoumaru? Unless he was scared of Sesshoumaru, which Kagome can't really blame him for, but still, to leave so much for chance…

Okay…Kagome shakes her head to stop thinking like Naraku. It's scary and creepy and she does not need this on top of everything else.

Having her only ally hate her is problem enough. What is worse than the hate is that…Sesshoumaru saved her, and like it or not, he brought her back to life. He trained her, made her sufficient, and keeps an eye on her. She is not a fool. She knows exactly why he does this. He needs her to find the last shard. It's as simple as that and nothing more. She knows Sesshoumaru very little, but what she does know is that he will never, ever, care for her.

All the care he was capable off was given to Rin. To him, Kagome is nothing. If she was nothing to Inuyasha at the beginning, then she is definitely _never_ going to be something in Sesshoumaru's eyes.

And she…

Well, he saved her. She can't _hate_ him. No matter how much she does not want to work with him, she can't hate him. She just can't abhor the one person left at her side.

Even if he isn't really by her side.

Even if he hates her.

Kagome suppresses the urge to groan. This is one big mess. How does she get into these dilemmas?

She has to be the only human of all eras with the ability to get trapped four hundred, ninety seven years in the past, break a stupid jewel, fall in love with the one hanyou that would never return her love, get attacked, lose all blood, and then…

Well, be stuck with Sesshoumaru, the coldest living being she has ever known, in a quest to save the world.

A quest neither one of them care for.

Sesshoumaru is in this for revenge. She is sure he would not even care about Naraku ruling over the world if it was not for the fact that he stepped over his boundaries.

Kagome is in this…because she doesn't really have an option. After all, what else is she supposed to do? She has nothing left, nowhere to go, and she doubts throwing herself over and over into the well will lead her anywhere except her death.

Kagome sighs as she once more trips over a rock. She doesn't remember being this clumsy.

Does coming back from the dead twice affect balance?

She is tired and she is hungry, and keeping her emotions under control and miko aura tight takes even more energy. They haven't stopped walking in hours. They don't even have a place to go. Sesshoumaru hasn't asked her to look for the shard. She doesn't have a reason to start looking for it. It's not like she can wish for Inuyasha to be alive. She can't ask it for it to take her back to her right time. She can't even ask it to eliminate Naraku. All of those things would make her happy, and the jewel would not be destroyed.

It would all be for nothing because the jewel would still exist, and that would just lead another youkai, hanyou, or human to try to get it, and it would be the same thing all over again.

Stupid jewel having to be destroyed by a stupid wish that will not make her happy. What kind of pearl works like that? Aren't sacred objects supposed to grant wishes and complicate no one's lives? Like a genie in a bottle?

Except even Aladdin had troubles with his genie granting wishes, and at the end they had to free the genie so no one could take advantage of him again.

Fine, she gets it.

The jewel has to be destroyed. Maybe she could ask it to forever get her stuck with Sesshoumaru. That would definitely make her unhappy. It should be enough.

Why is she doing this again?

She could just sit and wait for someone to take her away. She doesn't want to do this. She doesn't want to find the last shard.

She has nothing to fight for.

So why is she training and trying to control her miko powers and suppressing her emotions?

She doesn't have a reason, and yet she is giving it all she has and…

She so needs to find out why.

Another rock gets in her way, this one actually sending her to the ground. Kagome curses. Sesshoumaru stops long enough for her to pick herself up before continuing his walk.

The nerve of him. To actually walk ahead of her, as if she was his pet or something.

Degrading.

As soon as she gets some food into her mouth and some sleep, she is going to have a serious talk with him. He can't treat her like she is less, especially if they are going to help each other.

Kagome glares at his back.

She doesn't deserve this.

She's thought about it a lot, since she has no one to talk to, and she's finally come to the only conclusion.

This is some kind of nightmare, and eventually she'll wake up and Inuyasha will be alive and the well will still work.

Yeah. Right.

Sesshoumaru mumbles something about her slowing him down and Kagome wants to hit her head on a tree until she falls unconscious.

Except then Sesshoumaru would have to carry her, and wouldn't she have the fun of her life hearing him complain after she woke?

Maybe she could knock herself unconscious time after time so he doesn't get a chance to yell at her.

But she'd probably have permanent head damage, and her mom would not be happy with that.

Kagome can see her mother clearly, scolding her, telling her permanent head damage will do no good to her studies, which won't get her into a nice College…

And the well doesn't work. Her rightful time is forever closed to her. It doesn't matter if she knocks herself on the head until she becomes brain dead.

She's never going to see Mother again. Inuyasha is never coming back. Sango and Miroku will never smile at her again. Shippo and Rin will not grow up. Nothing she does is ever going to make this better. Nothing will make her whole ever again.

She fights to hide the wave of sadness that threatens to surround her. She needs to keep her feelings hidden form the world. She also needs to keep her exhaustion and hunger away. As if that is not enough, she has to keep her miko aura to the minimum. She supposes if miko are being target, she should not call more attention to herself. Doing all those things, however, are only making her more exhausted. It's just too much, with sensing and feeling, which she managed to perfect after the incident with the young youkai, but to have to hide herself…

She is used to be being an open book, and now she has to be a secured box.

What is she getting out of all this? Why is she doing this? Why does she get up in the mornings? What makes her keep following Sesshoumaru?

She has no idea.

She has no idea to why she is trying so hard to get something that will get her absolutely nothing except more tears and pain.

***

Sesshoumaru walks ahead of her.

He's always walking ahead of her. It is something he decided to do from the moment he stepped out of Kaede's hiding place and Kagome actually followed.

He will not walk behind her, no matter how much it makes sense, considering she's the one person that can find trouble standing in the middle of nowhere. Granted, nowadays, nowhere is the one place where you can find youkai trying to kill anything in sight, but still…

He will not walk behind her like her…dog, or servant, or guard. He is none of these things. The mere idea of being confused as one of those is just…

She is weak, human, and annoying. It took him a lot of effort to just get her to be the tiniest bit capable of defending herself. He can't believe he has sunken low enough that someone could confuse him as something related to her.

He will never walk behind her.

It's useful to have her for finding the stupid shard, and her chances of surviving would definitely grow if he were behind her, but he is not a desperate youkai. Sesshoumaru Taisho will never be a desperate youkai, no matter all the lands he somehow managed to lose, or all the people that died on his watch.

Or the little girl and green toad and his father's oldest servant.

Sesshoumaru's face tightens, his lips forming into a thin line as memories of times he now sees as happy flash through his mind.

Times when it was Rin and not Kagome at his side. Times when Naraku did not govern over the world and Sesshoumaru was still a Lord and chasing after his half brother for a sword he could not use and a revenge that didn't compare to this one.

Inuyasha's stain on the family's name was nothing compared to the one Naraku created.

How, exactly, did he manage to miss Naraku's growing strength? How could he let things get to the point where he had only a clumsy, weak human as his ally?

'_She is not that stupid,'_ a small part of his mind tells him. _'And she is not nearly as weak as when she first woke up.'_

Sesshoumaru mentally growls at the part of his self that has less sense. _'She is still a human.'_

'_Rin was a human'._

Sesshoumaru will not go there. He will not discuss with himself the obvious differences between Rin and Kagome. At the very top of the list, though, and Sesshoumaru makes sure to think this clearly, is the fact that Rin was not and would never have become a miko.

Clearly, being with Kagome is affecting his sanity because he does not recall ever having to discuss anything with himself.

What the world has come to.

The great Sesshoumaru with only a broken miko as his ally.

The Inu-youkai keeps walking ahead.

It's not like he needs to watch her to know what she is doing. He can feel and hear her. That is enough. Of course, if he could watch her on top of all the other things, he could prevent every fall she takes and they would actually move faster.

But that would require walking near her.

He still hasn't told her that is time to start looking for the shard. He has taught her all he could with what little patience he has. Besides, it is not like the world will wait for her to finish putting herself back together. For all he knows, it would explore before it happened.

Maybe Naraku would die of old age, and that would definitely not suit his plans for gory revenge.

Kagome trips again, cursing under her breath.

Sesshoumaru is about to just go find Naraku and beg him to end this torture.

Being with Kagome is one of the worst sentences he has ever experienced.

Kagome yelps, somehow managing to hit her face on a branch.

He refuses to walk with her.

He could never, would not ever...

He is not going to lower himself and actually pull the branches from her face and prevent her every fall.

He won't walk beside her.

It would put them on the same level. It would make them look…well, like allies, which he supposes they are, but a big part of Sesshoumaru still refuses to believe this is what his life of greatness and brilliance has sizzled to.

He refuses to walk beside the human that woke his half brother, the one human that is too stupid to fear him, died a couple of times, broken beyond the possibilities, probably never will mend, and is, regardless, going to fight Naraku. Help him destroy the hanyou.

He can't figure her out. She's a human, and that would have been enough, a couple of years back, to make him loathe her for just that. Rin, though, changed his view of humans, if just the tiniest bit, and he doesn't hate Kagome for being human, even if her species is far underneath youkai.

It's just that she still has the lingering smell of his half brother on her skin, following everywhere, as if by just existing, she is keeping the hanyou somewhat alive. She is alive when Rin is dead. Brought back from the undead with his very own hand, the one that killed his precious brat…

She is alive when she doesn't want to be alive, and Rin, Rin who was just starting to live, is dead, and she will never again be alive, and Kagome has so many gestures, so many things that are like Rin and not Rin at the same time. Rin died with eyes still shining with hope and trust in her eyes while Kagome lives with shadows in her eyes and a broken spirit.

'_I have lost it all, too,'_ he thinks. _'Her excuse is not valid.'_

His whole family is dead (even if he didn't care about most of them). His loss is as great as hers, if not worse. After all, he did fail in all of his responsibilities and lost everything his father worked to attain, and he still took the time to help the miko.

Even if he only did it because it was Rin's last wish and the promise he made to his half brother.

He rescued her, and now they walk without a destiny.

She is not ready for all they will encounter. He is not sure she has accepted her friend's loss. Yet, they need to find the last shard. This world will not stand more, and he feels like time has stopped. The world is not moving. His revenge is going nowhere. The miko will never be ready for what awaits them.

Sesshoumaru turns his head in the right angle to see her from the corner of his eyes, she's mumbling something, looking weird in her strange clothes, and stumbling every four steps.

He narrows his eyes. He has lived a fairly long time, but those clothes he has never seen. They do not belong to this place, to this time. Like her, they do not seem to fit anywhere, lost forever in their own web of complication. He walks faster, wondering where she is from.

Sometimes, when the edge of tension cuts through him for a few seconds, he feels like he's lost it all, but still has this world to conquer again, while she's lost all she knew.

Sometimes, this world does not seem like hers. That is stupid and impossible. He dislikes her for putting such absurd ideas on his head.

He keeps walking at a fast speed when he suddenly stops. She's not close enough. He turns around and doesn't see her, but he can smell her. He follows her scent, having to go back at least fifteen meters. He walks one more meter, stops dead in his tracks when he is about to step on her.

Sure enough, she is lying at his feet.

She's on the ground. Her hands are bleeding where they hit it. He doesn't understand how anyone can fall this much.

He sniffs the air, but it only carries a small scent of distress in it. He debates between staying where he is and waiting for her to pull herself up or just lifting her up and continuing their aimless walk.

He smells more, trying to feel her emotions in the air…

He doesn't get much of her. It's like she's hiding…

Her emotions and her real physical state, along with her miko aura.

She's been hiding so well that even he didn't catch on, and she only left the smallest amounts of miko aura around her for him not to suspect. It seems like she has been doing some training on her own.

He almost gives a satisfactory smile at the knowledge that she is not as useless as she seems. Almost. He decides to glare, instead, his eyes going a couple degrees lower. She's blocking everything she feels, all her emotions, which is great, except he doesn't know how she is, and they have been walking for hours without rest or food.

For a moment, and because she hid her emotions so well, he forgot humans didn't have the same capacity youkai did.

Reckless on his part. If they were attacked, she'd be too weak to be of any help. He sighs in resign and starts to lift her, but she surprises him by slapping his hand away.

He has never had his hand smacked away. Fury shows in his face. She needs to show him respect. No one dares turn down his help. Pathetic, good for nothing…

"Don't." She cuts his trail of thought. "Don't help me."

She puts her hands on the ground and tries to push herself up, but she falls again, groaning as she hits the ground. She is unable to raise her body. She is too exhausted. He starts to help her again.

"No!" she yells at him, blue orbs turning towards him, dancing with a fire he had not seen since Inuyasha died.

"You said it yourself," she bitterly spits. "I have to be strong. I have no one but myself."

Sesshoumaru, for one of the few moments in his life, is stunned. It doesn't show on his face, which is like a blank piece of paper, but the feeling of shock is in his interior, wondering what the hell is going on. He watches as she tries again and again to rise, but she can't. She keeps hitting the ground, and for the first time he actually wants to help her on his own accord…

Because she's trying.

She is not crying because she can't raise herself. She is not drowning in self pity or calling for Inuyasha or expecting someone to come help her. She's being strong, and something in him is…proud that she's trying, proud that she is finally doing something for her, that she is starting to fight back, to be a glimpse of the girl that once stood between Inuyasha and he without hesitation.

The stupid, careless girl he never paid attention to but was always an annoyance because of her will to do things she was not capable of, but still tried to do. Managed to do against all possibilities.

She's bleeding and starving, and he should have remembered how fragile a human is.

Finally, she's on her legs, but her knees are trembling. He's amazed she even managed to get herself up. He stays right where he is, respecting her wishes for the first time.

"I hid my tiredness and distress," she explains. Her blue eyes look towards the ground. Her face is red with all the effort she is putting into just standing up. "I am not weak. I can't be weak. I can't…can't afford to be weak."

Her legs are going to give away any moment now. She tries to raise her head, and it's as if that movement is the last straw and breaks her body. Her knees finally give away and the hard ground gets closer to her…

He catches her before she falls.

"You are exhausted." His hands are at her waist, steadying her. Her scent is starting to reflect her emotions. She is losing control of her careful composure.

"I'm fine," she says, a tone of annoyance reaching her voice.

His eyes get a hint of humor for the first time since this whole thing started. "Really?" He lets go of his hold on her, and she is quickly falling…

"Completely unfair," she says, trying to start a discussion even now. "That was so unnecessary."

"It was to prove a point."

"Aha, like I believe that."

He is amazed she has the guts to talk back to him, especially with how tired she is, and he is talking to her, helping her, holding her so she won't fall.

He has absolutely no idea of why he is doing any of these things, and he has no time to dwell on them now. He has to figure out if they should set camp or continue. Her blood is on the ground. It will attract youkai he can't fight without exposing her. Staying is not wise, but he does not see how she will manage to walk far enough to put a respectful distance between them and this spot…

Without thinking, he picks her up, bridal style, which of course he doesn't know is bridal style or he would let her fall on the ground and walk away. Kagome, however, does know, and her first instinct is to try to get away from his hold.

"What are you doing?" she says, turning red for reasons beyond him. He ignores her whines.

"This way we don't waste time." Not that they have anywhere to go, but he remembers that, in her condition, a confrontation will not be good. She will only make a nuisance out of herself and get killed while trying to help. He'd carry her on his back, but she is too weak to hold still.

He can't believe he is truly going to do this. Of all the situations he imagined he could one day find himself into, this is not even on the list.

Carrying his half brother's almost miko?

Most definitely not. He had plans to not even walk by her side.

Sesshoumaru has the sudden urge to roll his eyes at her and all her talking.

"But…"

He hushes her by lifting off into the air.

***

Of all the things Kagome expected Sesshoumaru to do, which go from him breaking the pact and killing her to simply walking away, this is the one thing she never would have thought could happen.

She didn't want his help, couldn't afford his help because Kagome knows herself, and the minute she took it, then she would start relaying more on Sesshoumaru, like she once relayed on his younger brother.

Sesshoumaru is no Inuyasha.

So when Sesshoumaru comes to her side and gives her his hand, she has to push it away. A moment later, she wonders exactly why Sesshoumaru is offering his help. Did he hit himself? No, that is just ridiculous. Did someone use magic on him while she was falling?

That is even more ridiculous.

Why would anyone make Sesshoumaru a caring person? Oh, God, maybe this is just one of Naraku's plans, and now Sesshoumaru is going to say something cruel and end what Naraku started…again.

Kagome looks through her bangs at Sesshoumaru's face. To her surprised, there is no malice in his facade, and his eyes are as cold as always. In fact, his face is blank, like it has been since, eh, always. Nothing is wrong with him. He does not move from where he is, and Kagome just knows his help is still there for her to take.

She won't accept it. She may not know why she is doing all she is doing, but accepting Sesshoumaru's help right now will only bring her back to self-pity.

She needs to start being strong for just…herself.

If she can do that, if she can start doing things just because, then maybe, just maybe, she'll find the reason why she is doing all this.

There has to be one.

Revenge isn't really one of them. She knows what revenge does to people. She watched it consume Kikyo. Naraku became a monster because of it. Sesshoumaru…

She has no idea of what vengeance will do to Sesshoumaru. The youkai is hard to read, and besides, nothing works the way it is supposed to when it comes to Sesshoumaru. All Kagome knows is that payback is not for her.

Sure, she will enjoy bringing Naraku down, if they ever manage to do that, but it is not the reason why she is trying. She is angry, scared, and dull, but revenge will not bring back any of her friends. It will not bring her love. It will not make the ache in her chest leave. The nightmares she has will not just vanish.

She will get nothing out of revenge.

Kagome fights her own body as she tries to raise herself. She is so tired and hungry. The control over her emotions is slipping. She can't feel her body. Her hands bleed, which is bad because it means they will have to walk far more just to get away from here.

'_Great Kagome.'_ She silently scowls herself. _'Just look what you did. Couldn't you fall down _without_ bleeding?'_

"Don't," she tells him. "Don't help me."

She plants her hands on the ground and tries to push herself up, but she falls again, groaning as she hits the ground. He starts to help her again, and she is so surprised, for a moment she actually thinks about accepting his help.

Except she can't. She has to do this on her own.

"No," she says firmly, turning her eyes towards him. She is angry, now. And tired. She is so tired she could forget about the hunger. "You said it yourself," she says, locking away all thoughts of people always helping her.

Of times when the Feudal Era was dangerous, but not to this extreme.

Not to the point that every person they meet is a potential enemy and killing is beginning to become instinct in her. "I have to be strong," she says. It is the truth. Whatever awaits her, whichever reason she has for doing this, being strong is her only chance. "I have no one but myself."

Because, for the first time in her life, she truly is all alone. There is no one she can talk to at night. No one to lay her shoulder on and cry for the loss of her friends. No one to chat with at the fire. She has no companion because, really, Sesshoumaru doesn't count. He barely talks to her. He will never care for her. He is just… an ally, and they are in this together because she won't make it to Naraku on her own, and he will never find the stupid, last shard without her help.

She hates being a shard detector. She hated it when it was for Inuyasha, and she thinks she might loathe it more now that it is for Sesshoumaru.

Does he even have feelings?

Except he is looking at her with not-so cold eyes, but eyes that are intense and curious, almost…Kagome banishes the thought from her mind. There is no way, no way in this world, that Sesshoumaru will have warmth in those eyes, especially directed at her. He hates her, pure and simple. Kagome…well, she just…

Sesshoumaru is just someone she would never care for. Respect, of course, he is Sesshoumaru Taisho, Lord or no Lord, Sesshoumaru is just someone you respect.

Care for? Ha, right.

Kagome inhales deeply and goes back to the task at hand.

Some tries later, she is finally on her feet.

She can already tell it will not last for long. Her knees shake. They won't hold her. She suppresses the urge to groan. What will happen when she falls again? She knows she won't be able to raise herself once more.

Sesshoumaru is so going to kill her.

No matter that he offered his help, he is going to kill her the moment she falls again. Maybe she should have made him sign the pact with blood?

"I hid my tiredness and distress," she starts saying, not really sure why she is doing this at all. Her eyes stay firmly on the ground. "I am not weak," she says. Oh, God, why is she telling all these things to the one youkai that doesn't give a damn? Even Naraku would be more interested. "I can't be weak. I can't…can't afford to be weak." She raises her head to see Sesshoumaru, Kagome closes her eyes and lets her knees give away and finally bring her to the ground…

She never hits it. Instead, she finds herself with Sesshoumaru's hands at her waist. He is holding her close, keeping her from falling.

And isn't this a new turn of events? She should reconsider her theory of someone using magic on him.

"You are exhausted," he says in a low voice. She is so close to him she can feel the vibrations of his voice run from his body to hers. A shiver would travel through her body has she the strength.

"I'm fine," she says, annoyed. How dare he know how she feels?

His eyes shine with something Kagome does not like at all. "Really?" His hands are removed. The ground suddenly looks closer…and then his hands are once more securing her.

"Completely unfair," she mumbles, beginning to feel like starting a fight. Sesshoumaru so brings the worst out of her. "That was so unnecessary."

"It was to prove a point."

"Aha, like I believe that."

And suddenly, without any warning or anything, she is lifted into Sesshoumaru's arms. Bridal Style. By Sesshoumaru.

Maybe she has become mentally retarded and this is just her imagination. But why, oh why, does her mind have to play these kinds of tricks with her? And why does her body have to betray her and show her embarrassment? She just knows her face is beyond flushed. Maybe she did bang her head against a tree and forgot.

It was such a horrible idea.

"What are you doing?"

He ignores her, like expected.

"This way we don't waste time."

Trust Sesshoumaru to have a practical answer for everything.

"But…"

Her protests are lost in her throat as Sesshoumaru takes off into the air.

And Kagome…

Kagome can feel the memory of Inuyasha, memories she has tried to keep as far away from her mind as she possibly could, but now they comeback, hitting her full force. There's the memory of Inuyasha carrying her in her mind. His laughter, the way his eyes would shine, and the tremendous courage he had.

The way he never loved her, no matter how much she tried to be everything he could ever wish for.

The way he cared for her, put her safety above his.

She can almost feel his warm body and smell his scent. She wonders if it's worse to have Sesshoumaru carry her like this or if the memories would hurt more, make her burn, if she was at his back.

She has to fight back the tears, concentrate on keeping away, but…

The idiot always did have a tendency to annoy and make her cry, even when he wasn't in her presence.

Inuyasha, Inuyasha, Inuyasha…

Kagome closes her eyes, lets her sorrow surround her, and damn it all, it is not Inuyasha carrying her. It will never be Inuyasha carrying her. He is gone, taken away from her before she could completely stop loving him.

Kagome is consumed by pain, lost in desperation, in complete agony because it is not Inuyasha carrying her, but Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru, and not Inuyasha, and fuck irony.

* * *

**Well, I'm getting them back on their feet. Ad they are interacting more, and of course they have a LONG way to go. But hey, I have a lot of things prepared for you (ok, some, because the story changes as I write it, but I do have some things planned out). So, keep reading, and review! You know I love reviews.**


	10. The Shikkon No Tama Miko

**I'm out of school, into vacation, and FREE!**

**Most importantly, I'm free. Do you know what that means? Yep, I have a whole month and a week to just write. Okay, I suppose I do have to go on vacation with my family, but hey, I can write and ignore them. They already know how I am.**

**So…yes, just to write.**

**Oh, also, some of you have asked me about that one-shot I promised for 'Twisted Hearts'. It will be done, but I'm having a bit of…trouble writing it. No matter, I will be done, I just need…more time.**

**Oh, and thank you all for being so patient with my late updates. I feel horrible, but school is my priority, and now that I'm free…**

**Thanks to…**

**W0ah – Well, I'm very glad you are enjoying this, and any comments you have will be hear with a big smile.**

**Sesshoumaru's Filly – Your horse died? Oh, my, I'm so sorry…**

**Zero-serenity – I know. I'm insane, but now that's over, and I think my days doing summer school are also over. They're just not for me. No, no.**

**InuLuvsKag4eva25 – Oh, I know! I almost cried when I wrote it! It's so sad! But this chap. Is happier (ok, as happier as I can make it, considering the story line).**

**WolvenTemptress – Oh, Darling, I think you will definitely like this chapter. Kagome will…make great progress, and no more circles. Ok, maybe some, but it's time they start moving forward…with a few steps back once in a while.**

**Kairou Watoshimi – Don't worry. Take all the time you need. I'm sure the wait is worth it.**

**AllySan – Creo que más que entender, Sesshoumaru se está dando cuenta de que Kagome y él son muy diferentes, pero eso no significa que ella no sea igual de fuerte. Más que nada, creo que por fin está empezando a ver a Kagome, además de que ya la cuida y protege, y auque al principio lo hacía por necesidad, creo que lo está empezando a hacer porque quiere.**

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Fragments of A Shattered Moon

_**The Shikkon No Tama Miko**_

_I'll make things shorter to you._

_Everyone gets tired of been on a hole. It's just a matter of realizing it, so now that I've told you, start climbing out of it._

* * *

"_Keh. Don't even try, Kagome. You're too weak."_

_Kagome glares at Inuyasha's arrogant face, but she is too exhausted and hurt to hold it for long. Besides, staying mad at Inuyasha is just not something she is good at. _

"_I am not weak," she says, because saying nothing is also a talent she lacks._

_Inuyasha is in front of her, staring right into her face. The sun is setting behind him, covering him with the last rays of sun. Kagome thinks it's unfair for him to look so damn good after such a hard battle. Her face is already red with a blush at having him so near, and she is also embarrassed because she knows his words are true._

_She is weaker than all of them, except maybe Shippo, but he'll grow to be a powerful youkai, and Kagome, no matter what, will never become a decent miko._

_She shouldn't even have to become a miko, considering there are no youkai to kill in her time. There are no villages to care for, and curing people is something left to doctors, to science, and not to powers from beyond and, well, a miko._

_If she is a miko, it is merely by accident, and she thinks it's pathetic that she's sad for failing as a miko when she should be devastated about her grades._

_At the speed things are going, she will barely graduate, let alone enter a good college._

"_I'm not weak," she repeats, her voice low and far more insecure than she would like when making that statement. The sun finally sets, and the cave they're in darkens. Its floor is cold and hard. A chill runs down her body at just being in the creepy cave, but it's the only place that gives them protection. Kagome received an injury on her arm and the left side of her abdomen, and Inuyasha, far more hurt than her, refused to go farther until he had a look at her injuries._

_The idea was not pleasant to her__, but she had welcomed the warmth that surrounded her at hearing his words. Inuyasha had the tendency to make her feel special, even when she wasn't; the most special person for Inuyasha was not her, but her other self, the woman she was just a reincarnation of._

"_Besides," Kagome starts again, trying to cover the silence that suddenly washes over them, "the others must be worried." _

_She tries to raise herself again, but her body protests at her determination. She glares at the floor because she can't glare at herself without a mirror, and closes her eyes, trying to find some kind of strength from within to raise herself without Inuyasha's help. _

_She doesn't even know why it's bothering her so much, but ever since Kikyo has been trying to help them, Kagome has felt the need to be better, stronger, to just try more so she can be as valuable as her._

_Inuyasha snorts, but he places a gentle hand under her chin and raises her head towards him. Their eyes meet. His are warm, deepened with a feeling Kagome barely sees in Inuyasha, an emotion that makes butterflies appear in her stomach, and she truly hates not having more self control and being unable to contain her blush._

"_I didn't mean to say you are weak, Kagome," he says, gently. Kagome is left to just stare at him. "I just meant that you are hurt, and you are right, the others must be worried." He rises to his feet, breaking their eye contact. When he looks at her again, his eyes are the same arrogant, confident eyes Kagome is so used to. The warmth from before is hidden behind, but Kagome still sees it. "Not that I care, but if we don't get to them soon, no one will be able to stop the brat's complaining." Inuyasha moves close to her. "I'll carry you." He says in a commanding voice. _

_Kagome smirks. "You know I could just make you do you-know-what if I wanted to."_

_Inuyasha looks worried for a moment, but then his confidence comes kicking back in. "Yeah, right, then how would you get out of here?"_

_Kagome hadn't thought that far ahead, so she simply shrugs. "Somehow." _

_Inuyasha smirks. "Somehow," he repeats, and before Kagome can think, she is lifted into his arms to later be accommodated at his back._

"_Hold on."_

"_As if you would let me fall." _

_And then they are both in the air, and Kagome feels safe, like she always does when she is at Inuyasha's back._

***

She doesn't have energy, but as soon as they touch ground, she forces herself out of Sesshoumaru's arms, her body falling and hitting the dirt.

Sesshoumaru makes no comment and keeps his eyes on the front, away from her, assessing the place they are at.

There is the smallest of clearings in front of a mountain, which is good because there won't be any ambushes from behind. The nearest trees are at an appropriate distance away, so there is no risk of anyone attacking them by surprise, and to make it better, if they are attacked and the enemy is too much for Kagome, they have plenty of space to run and hide in the woods.

Not that Sesshoumaru would be happy at the idea of hiding, but considering how much they have hidden in the past months, he supposes it does not make much of a difference anymore. Besides, she is still hurt, and if he wants her to start looking for the shard then he needs her to heal, not fight.

Sesshoumaru looks at her with a raised eyebrow as she puts as much distance as possible between them, wondering what exactly has gotten into her this time.

He helped her, so she should be grateful, on her knees, thanking him. She should not be trying to disappear from his presence.

Sesshoumaru hates all the confusion she causes him.

He hates the way she seems to be broken, just to pick herself back up. He doesn't understand how she does it, how she can be so weak one minute just to be strong the next.

She has the ability to become strong in the worst circumstances and be weak…at any other moment, really.

She is also ungrateful, something that makes Sesshoumaru want to crack her neck. He saved her, and she shouted at him for bringing her back to life. He trained her, and she complained about all the physical exercise. He killed youkai to keep her alive, and she went on about how he shouldn't kill everything that moved.

As if there is anyone who would dare stop him.

Except, perhaps, Naraku, but that would just give him another reason for killing him. And his father and half brother, but they are dead, so don't count.

So, really, all the persons left to annoy him are Naraku, who will be dead not soon enough for him, and Kagome, who he will never be able to kill, but hopefully, after their goals are achieved, will use that clumsiness of hers to break her neck.

Sesshoumaru watches Kagome more closely, who has, for once, started a fire and curled herself close to it. Her arms are around her, as if she is trying to protect herself from the world. He watches more closely, smells the tears in the air, and has to restrain himself from sighing.

There she goes again.

She is the only being he has never been able to understand, and what is worse, she creates things inside of him that he can't explain. After so many years of living, he is acquaintance with his complexity.

But…

And…

And this new feeling of protectiveness around her…

He tries to tell himself that it is just because he needs her, but he has started to notice that it is more than that.

With Rin, protecting her had always been something he thought of. With Kagome, protecting her has become something of a second nature. Even if he didn't want to, it seemed his body was always tuned to protect her.

And he has watched her for months. He doesn't know her, but he knows the way her body moves, knows the aura around her, how it shifts with her emotions, and the limits of her body.

He still has to know the limits of her miko powers.

He has never known anyone as much as he knows her.

It unsettles him to be interested in her as much as he is, which isn't much, but is enough to unnerve him.

He should not protect her the way he does.

But he watched how she woke up, lost and devastated, but still trained. Still tried. Still trying to be stronger.

She has nothing left. He knows revenge doesn't move her. He does not see in her eyes the will to go to any length to kill Naraku. It can't be to save the old miko. Judging by her age, she will not live long enough.

Then what?

What makes this miko train and fight and consume herself?

What makes her cry and have that haunted look in her eyes? What made her jump down a well only to twist her ankle?

What motivates her?

He moves closer towards her, and she uncurls and curls again, bringing her knees to her chest, encircling them with her arms. The fire lights her face, creating shadows around it, making her eyes bright.

He sits on the other side, Japanese style, the fire between them.

She raises her eyes to meet his. Neither of them says anything for some time. The wood crackles as the fire consumes it, and he wonders if this is how it feels to lose everything and have no purpose. Is she cracking like the wood beneath the power of the fire?

Her eyes are hollow, haunting. He does not know where she got the strength to try hours before. He knows, without purpose, a person is just a corpse walking, waiting for the inevitable to take them away.

She is a corpse, no matter how many times he brings her back to life.

And yet…

"_I understand."_

She'd said those two words as he lay staring at her, memories of Rin and the boy he just killed running through his mind.

"_I understand."_

She had stood there, miserable, but he had heard it in her voice, that she finally got that mercy was not something they could have.

That for them, mercy and pity were just things that would lead to their deaths…

She had understood, and it had lifted a weight from him. A weight he didn't know he was holding, and why would her understanding change anything in him?

Why did it matter, that she understood?

What motivates her?

What makes her so hollow?

Did losing that mutt and her friends affect her enough to break the wild spirit he had come to associate with her while he was traveling with them?

Kagome, to his utter disdain, was always cheerful and full with energy. It was one of those things he had tolerated only because Rin had liked her.

But Rin is dead, and the new Kagome lacks both of those things.

It should have been a gain, but it felt like a loss, and Sesshoumaru could not fathom why having the quiet girl annoyed him even more than having a happy, hyperactive one.

It isn't like he cares about her, but her change has been rather drastic.

Then again, losing his mother shaped him, and losing Rin affected him in ways that he never thought a little human girl could.

He spent two months watching a sleeping miko, trying to find out if anything was worthy at all if Rin was dead. Nothing will bring her back to life. Nothing will fill the hollow the child left. Even if he does find a way, he saw how Inuyasha's miko came back, and he does not wish that same fate for Rin.

He'd rather suffer like he is doing right now, in silence, and contemplating ways to kill Naraku.

For him, nothing will ever be complete again. His lands, the people under him, and all the family glory gone…he could deal with all those things, if only Rin was still alive.

But two months of doing nothing but watching a miko gave him enough time to think about his next steps.

Killing Naraku is a done deal. Nothing, absolutely nothing will take him away from that goal. After that? He is powerful. He is as close to immortal as anyone can get. He will conquer this ashen world and watch it grow again.

He is Sesshoumaru Taisho, and he has to make all the survivors fear and respect him again. He has to make people tremble at his name. No land this time, though, No Lord title. He will not rebuild his home. He wants nothing that reminds him of Rin, nothing that can haunt him.

He does not want to live in a house where everything reminds him of his little girl. He does not wish for land because that just makes him have to deal with people, as he is tired of dealing with them and of allies that will betray him at the first chance they get, that is a definite no. He does not want anyone under him who is not completely loyal to him, and those people do not exist.

He does not wish to be a Lord again.

Those days died with Rin.

Besides, conquering the world seems much more interesting than sitting in his study, going over papers, listening to everyone complain, and having to solve problems that do not interest him at all. He will manage a way to rule the world without the bureaucracy. Perhaps he'll just make everyone fear him, or maybe he'll rule it and then disappear, become a legend.

He has a lot to live for. He wants to see the world change. He wants to see how he adapts to what is left of this world once Naraku is gone. He wants to…

He does not know what he wants, but he wants to find out. He has things to fight for.

But what does she have to fight for?

She has no friends. He does not think she has a home to go to. She has nothing. Nothing, except him, and well…he doesn't count because he wants nothing to do with her.

Even if he watches over her, trains her, and makes sure she is okay.

That is not caring. He is sure.

He told her she couldn't count on him, even if he will protect her until she finds the last shard and Naraku is dead, but that does not mean he cares.

Really. It doesn't.

But…if she had a purpose…if she has trained so hard to become stronger, even with that haunting look in her eyes, how much would she be able to do with a purpose?

What drives her to try?

How much faster would she be able to find the last shard?

"What is your purpose?"

Kagome's eyes were still staring into his own, empty, but they widen, surprise entering them.

"Excuse me?"

It seems she is startled that he is talking to her. He doesn't blame her. He is startled too, but curiosity has always gotten the better of him, and he does have a good point in asking.

People need a purpose in life to be productive, and at the way things are now, everything just puts her into self-pity mode. With a purpose, there is no room for self-pity, and he won't be annoyed anymore.

"Your purpose." He frowns at having to repeat himself. "Why do you try so hard?"

She stares blankly at him for some moments, and then she blinks, once, twice…

"Purpose?"

Could she be any more stupid?

"Yes."

"I…" Her eyes lower to the fire, still cracking between them.

"Don't have one?" he guesses.

She raises her eyes to his once more, angry this time. "I do have one." She glares.

He just looks bored as he stares back, though curiosity is making his face look less bored than he would like.

"You just don't know it yet?" he submits again.

She glares more. It is kind of amusing, to have someone infinitely weaker than him glare his way. It is a challenge that would bring her to her death, had they not made a deal.

And a promise to Rin and his stupid half brother.

Oh, and that nagging feeling to protect her.

"I do know it!" she yells heatedly.

He lets a small smirk appear on his lips, which causes her to gasp. Sesshoumaru finds it entertaining to keep her on toes.

"Then tell me." Sesshoumaru fixes his intense eyes on her, golden shining with the full force that is Sesshoumaru, and Kagome's, blue ones wary. "What is your purpose? Why do you exist?"

***

Excellent question.

Kagome glares even more.

Her purpose? Her goal? What the hell drives her?

Kagome hates Sesshoumaru in new levels. Why does he have to go and ask these questions? Doesn't he have a heart?

Kagome grimaces. Of course he doesn't have a heart. If he does have one, it is probably frozen.

His question echoes in her mind, and she madly looks for the answer.

'_Think, Kagome'_ she tells herself, forcing every neuron in her brain to work. '_Come on, you lazy idiots. Think. Why am I working so hard? Why do I try so hard every day? I mean, I work on my miko power; my aim, my fighting, and I get beaten every single damn day by Sesshoumaru at training. I have…_'

"_Finally overcome our__...self-pity?"_

Kagome so hates her inner voice_. "Yes."_ She snaps at it, completely aware that at her time, she would be sent to a shrink. For a very long time.

"_Not planning on going there again?_" Kagome swears the, eh, voice, has that sardonic tone Inuyasha used to have. The thought is enough to almost send her back to full depression, but Kagome fights it back.

"_No."_ She answers back furiously. She can't afford it. She can never afford to feel sorry for herself again. This world is for the strongest, and Kagome knows she has a purpose. She has something to fight for. The answer just escapes her.

Why the hell is she fighting instead of just throwing her life to a youkai? She is sure any one of them would be more than happy to kill her.

Does her head have a price?

Probably not, considering the conditions in which Naraku left her. What were the possibilities she had of being saved by Sesshoumaru?

"_None."_ Inner self tells her.

"_There obviously were, or I wouldn't be here." _

"_Please- you just got lucky."_

_  
"So what? I'm still alive. And I never get lucky."_

"_Of course not."_ Inner voice says, suddenly serious. _"You lived and they died. Definitely not good luck. So tell me, what are you going to do now? What are you going to do with this second chance he gave you?"_

"_Don't even remind me who I owe this to."_

"_You do owe him."_

"_It's not like I asked for his help."_

"_You still took it."_

"_He didn't really leave me a choice."_

"_You could have died." _Her inner voice now sounds like Miroku when he was giving her one of his lectures.

She wonders if her inner voice will forever sound like all the friends she lost. She ponders if somehow, that thing they say about people you love never leaving you is true. If they could be alive inside of her.

But that thought is corny, and of course it's not true. She is just used to hearing their voices, even after all these months.

She still wakes up and looks for them, only to remember they will never be there again.

So why is she still trying? She can't go back home, and she has no one here. She doesn't really care about anything anymore, so why? Why the hell does she try?

"_You do have a debt with Sesshoumaru."_

"_Don't remind me again."_

"_You are trying because of that."_

"_You mean to tell me I'm working hard because of him?"_

"_Among other things."_

"_Tell me the other things."_

"_I'm just you."_ If inner voice had a body and eyes, it would be rolling her eyes. _"I can't answer all your questions."_

"_But…"_

"Did you finally lose your mind?"

Kagome snaps out, only to find Sesshoumaru staring at her. His lips are twisted into what Kagome has come to know as Sesshoumaru's smirk.

It is weird, to have found out that Sesshoumaru is more than blank looks, though that is his most used expression. Over months of being with him, though, it is obvious that he does, contrary to popular belief, feel. Even if most of the time it is anger or annoyance.

"I did not!" she snaps at him. She can't believe she has gone from fighting with her…inner self, to fighting with Sesshoumaru. "I was just trying to find, well, I'm thinking about your question."

"Kagome…" He says, and as always, Kagome is a bit surprise that he uses her name. She almost always expects her to call her 'miko' or 'human' or 'weakling' something close to that. He doesn't, though. Kagome thinks he just got used to calling her by her name from the time when she was asleep and there were two miko.

"Why are you..." Sesshoumaru stops for a second, "collaborating with me?"

Kagome starts playing with her sleeves. "I…I guess in part because…" She turns her head to the stars. Even with Naraku ruling this dying world, the stars still manage to shine. The sun still shows up in the morning. The moon still goes through its phases. Everything around earth keeps on moving. "I guess…" she repeats. "I suppose, in a way, it is because you helped me, so I do owe it you."

Sesshoumaru thinks about that for a second. His head lingers on one side, like a dog. Kagome bits her tongue to stop from laughing. To think of Sesshoumaru as a dog…He is an Inu-youkai, though, so she guesses it's not that bad of a thought.

"That is not enough," he finally says.

"What?" Kagome's whole face shows her expression. Not enough? That bloody, stupid, good for nothing youkai…"What the hell do you mean by 'not enough?" she snarls at him.

Sesshoumaru gives her a weird look, almost as if considering hurting her. For a mere second, Kagome does fear for her life, but then she remembers their deal. She almost smirks at him, but given the circumstances, it would not do any good.

"Your answer…it is not enough for the amount of energy you have put into this."

Both of them know that even with all the effort she has put in, there is no heart in her work, and it is merely something she is doing to survive, to the debt she owes him, but it has no passion. She has no passion. She used to have so much passion…

Damn it all, this stupid revenge of his will not work if she has no passion. Naraku will continue to live if she does not put her heart into it.

"Why do you want to get revenge?" she asks him.

He contemplates, considering if answering her is worthy or not. After a long pause, he finally speaks again. His face is solemn. His eyes are darker, and Kagome recognizes in their depth the same haunting look she gets when she thinks of all of her friends. When she thinks of Inuyasha. When she thinks of the family and few friends she left at home.

The same haunting look she gets when she thinks of the home she will never be able to get back to.

"Because of Rin," he finally answers, and his voice is suddenly lower, raspier, and although he hides his emotions far better than her, Kagome recognizes the pain in it.

Because of Rin.

Of course, she should have thought of that before. There has only been one human, heck, one being, Sesshoumaru has cared for, and that is Rin.

"Oh." And of course his answer has to be better than hers.

He _always _has to be better than her.

Stupid Sesshoumaru.

"I…" she begins. "I want to go home," she finally says, completely aware that he will never understand unless she tells him the whole truth, but she cannot. Not yet. Maybe one day.

"Where is home?"

Kagome gives a small, bitter laugh.

"Well, my home is…not reachable. I don't know how or if I'll be able to go back."

"I…see." Sesshoumaru has not taken his eyes form her.

"What does this have to do with trying? Is getting stronger going to bring you closer to home?"

Kagome laughs again. "Probably not." She gives him the smallest, sad smile. "In fact, all I've learned will not help me at home, except maybe to protect myself from psychos and people like that."

He doesn't say anything to that.

Kagome goes back to messing with her sleeves.

"I want to go home, but, if that is not possible…"

_There is snow. So much snow and Kagome knows something is wrong because there is no way it can snow at this time of the year. Snow is just not right. It isn't even close to autumn, so how the hell can there be snow? Kagome finally gets out of the well, broken and still remembering Kikyo's voice, and the way Inuyasha looked at her, and it feels so right for everything to be covered in snow. She feels safe with the cold surrounding her because it is so close to how her heart is, but it is not right._

_Snow is not right._

_It was snowing in the Feudal Era, too, because of that stupid, weird youkai…_

_Everything that changes in the past changes in the future. If the seasons change in the past, they change in the future._

If the past changes…

The future changes, too.

And her family, her mother, Souta, her grandfather, all her friends, Hojo…

They belong to the future, a future that can be as dark as the past, and she can't…

Resolution makes way into her eyes, which suddenly become bluer, and Sesshoumaru almost swears he can see the fire come back to them, but what could happen to make her change? What could make such a big difference now, when months haven't done anything to her?

Kagome's mind is spiraling.

How could she forget such a thing? Of course if the past is ruled by Naraku, the future is ruled by Naraku. It's logic. She had already seen once how the past affected the future. And she may be stuck in this time, but there is no way, no way at all, that she will allow this same fate to reach them.

She will not allow Naraku to taint her family. Not now. Not ever. He will not make them live with constant fear. They will not have nightmares like she does. She won't even allow him to be in their thoughts. She'll make sure of it, no matter how much it takes, or how much more she loses, or if she sacrifices all that is left of her…

She will stop him. She will make him but one more story in a children's book. This horrible reality will become a tale mothers tell their children to make them behave.

Like she is written in stories, although no one knows it is her. Like Inuyasha and Miroku and Sango and Shippo and Kikyo appear as characters of myths.

Like Sesshoumaru and she will be.

Naraku will just be a story among stories.

She'll make sure of it.

And her family in this time…

Sango's comforting presence.

Miroku's wisdom.

Shippo's innocence.

Inuyasha's determination.

She can't let them disappear. She can't let their sacrifice mean nothing.

They died protecting each other, protecting her…

She almost died fighting for them. She would have died if Sesshoumaru had not arrived.

She'd have died a respectful death.

In her mind, their last moments appear, but she fights them back. Now is not the time to think of it. She can't allow herself to remember those last moments. She is not ready.

Maybe she will never be ready, and she can't break down now that she is finally finding her purpose.

It was always there, really, she just had to open her eyes to it. But she won't forget them. She'll never forget. She'll bear their deaths when she is stronger, when she is healed enough, if that is even possible.

But she can't let their efforts fade to nothing. She can't allow all they did to just vanish into thin air.

They fought side by side. She watched each of them die. She withstands the awful charge of staying until the end. Even if she had died, she would still have been the last.

She has no right to feel pity for herself, no right to give up.

She can't let the pain take the best of her. She won't, can't, allow the hurt to make her weak.

She has to take the pain and use it to make herself stronger.

She is the Shikkon No Tama miko, for Kami's sake, and she has a duty to fulfill. There is nothing that will stop her.

She doesn't believe in revenge, doesn't believe in the coldness and emptiness that is left behind when you kill whoever dares mess with you. She doesn't believe in the blood that has to be shed to avenge loved ones that will never again be by your side.

Loved ones she will never again be allowed to hug or kiss or fight with. Those times with them are lost forever, just a whisper in her head, always present, but never real. A small presence that is always with her, but never for her to touch.

They belong to another time now, and she belongs to this moment, with Sesshoumaru, because by some weird, unexplainable destiny, they ended up together, just the two of them, alone against the ruler of the world.

And it's not enough. It's not enough to just train and become stronger. It's not enough to just wish for a way back to her rightful place. It's not enough to just remember.

She is not enough. She will not be enough until she actually does what she is supposed to do. What Kaede told her.

Kagome finally opens her eyes.

"I am the Shikkon No Tama miko," she says, voice firm, eyes shining with new determination. Sesshoumaru just stares, head to the side, wondering how she can be lost one minute and with full determination the next.

Kagome stands up. She raises one fist to the level of her eyes while her other hand rests at her side.

Sesshoumaru is beginning to think she might be too dramatic.

The night is all around them. The only sounds are the ones the crickets make. The stars shine above them. The trees are still. There is no wind. The fire sparks between them, cracking and blending with the sounds of the insects.

And Kagome stands, finally lifting her eyes to her present, to what she has to do, and to what is, by all rights, what she should have been doing from the moment she woke up.

She's just been wasting time. Months she should have used to not allow her friends to be forgotten, to not allow their sacrifice to be in vain.

Months wasted for both of them. She has to think of Sesshoumaru and her as a unit now. She can't think of him as the old Sesshoumaru. No matter what he says, they have to work together, and she'll think of him as her team.

She has to.

"I have a duty." She will make the damn, stupid, little jewel disappear and become history, just like every one of them will become history once this is all over and done with. "I will not rest until the pearl disappears." Because she'll be damned if she allows Naraku to win. She'll burn in hell, relive her friends' deaths over and over and over in her mind before she lets the bastard and the jewel continue in this world. "I will not rest until Naraku is over and done with."

'_I will not rest'_ she thinks, _'until the future is safe. I will not let my family suffer what I have. I will not let them be broken, even if I never see them again, even if their faces fade from my memory and their voices become a murmur, I will not rest until they are safe.'_

"I will find him, and then I will kill him," she tells him. His eyes are on her, only on her, for the first time fully acknowledging her presence as not just a burden, but someone useful. He raises an eyebrow at her. She lets out a small smile.

"On second thought…" And now her smile is nervous. "I'll find Naraku and you'll kill him." Yeah, that sounds much better. "We'll make this world right."

"I don't care about this world," he says voice calm.

She smirks his way. "Neither do I." Not anymore, but she cares about the future. It holds her family, and she is but a ghost waiting to vanish, but they are not. She'll make them real people. She'll make them happy people, even if she is not there to witness it. "But we will still save it because it's just a result of what we want."

Really, they are no heroes, and they aren't hero material, but it seems their goals just take them to save a world neither one of them cares for.

Irony really is a bitch.

"I'll make everything as it should be," she tells him.

"You can't bring them back."

"Of course not," she says. She is glad her sadness doesn't reach her voice, even if it is in her eyes. "But I will make their sacrifices count, and I will make my home safe, and I will complete my duty." She smirks again. "So now, let me rest."

His eyes narrow a little, but she just waves her hand at him, and Sesshoumaru almost sees the girl that used to always be by Inuyasha's side.

Except she isn't that girl.

That girl would never kill the way she does. That girl is not as practical and cold as she can be now. That girl does not have the determination and the crushed past to back up her words.

He is seeing the Kagome that will, _finally_, help him pursue his goal, and suddenly he understands Rin's decision better, even if it will never stop aching.

And Kagome gives him a smile that is not as haunted as it used to be.

"Tomorrow we start searching for the final shard. Really, Sesshoumaru, we've lost too much time already."

She gives him her back, arranging her things to sleep, knowing full well that Sesshoumaru does the guards most of the time, and she only does them occasionally. Sleep is not something he needs that much. He just likes it.

Sesshoumaru's face relaxes a bit, and he can almost feel the world starting to change.

Stupid woman.

She creates things in him he never knew existed, and she has a way…

When Kagome puts her mind into something, when she actually lets her determination win over any other thing, she is contagious. Rin's laugher sounding in his head doesn't pain him as much, and maybe, just maybe, that promise made to his half brother is not that bad.

It is about time she woke up.

He gives her the smallest of smiles.

She completely misses it.

* * *

**Uff, another chap. finished, yey! So now, go,review, and tell me how you are liking it :)**

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* * *


	11. Swore Never Again

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**Hello! Ok, so I'm in the middle of Sierra Gorda, which is a place in Queretaro, Mexico,and by shear luck I have Internet. Because...for the last 2 weeks I've barely had Internet or cell phone signal. It seems the Sierra isn't much for technology, thought it is beautiul, and I'm really glad I'm here.**

**However...there willl not be any thak you's or questions answered this time. I'm not sure how much time I have left before the Internet signal dies, so I'm doing this quickly. If you have any questions that haven't been answered, please remind me, and I'll gladly do. Also, two of you asked me for help on your stories, but I can't find your e-mails, I'm tryly ashamed, but if you could give them to me again...**

**I haven't forgotten, and I don't want you to think that. If you still want my help, I'll gladly give it.**

**Lots of love, and enjoy the story...**

* * *

**Fragments of a Shattered Moon**

_**Swore Never Again**_

_You've lost all your teammates. You've lost both your families. All your loved ones are gone, and you never want to see another person you care for die.__ You have no more heart for someone else._

_He comes with all his magnificent stubbornness, and you swore never again, but you knew you were going to break that rule before you even applied it._

_He's already someone you don't want to see dead._

* * *

Teammates. _Teammates?_

What the hell was she thinking?

How could she ever consider they could be a team? How could that thought ever cross her mind? Did pain really affect her brain this much? Had she finally lost it?

There is no way, no way at all, not in this world, not in _any _world that they can _ever_ get along.

No matter that she promised to make an effort. She just can't do it alone, and this stupid piece of idiotic ass is just not putting any effort into her attempts to know each other better.

Why the hell do dog demons have to be so damn difficult? Why does she always end up stuck with them? Why, oh why, can't she ever find nice, decent, easy to get along with, allies?

Like…Kagome frowns as she attempts to find a kind of youkai that would actually be decent.

A bear youkai? No, too violent. A bird youkai? Too…crazy. A fish youkai? That sounds just useless. How about a flamingo youkai? Does that even exist?

Kagome tries to imagine a flamingo youkai. Would it be all…pink? No one pink could be that difficult. Except maybe the youkai would be resentful because he is all pink, and no one would respect him, and he'd have a life full of people making fun of him, and then he'd end up resentful like…all other youkai and hanyou, and he'd then be aggressive, but no one would take him seriously because he is all pink and…

How would Sesshoumaru look all in pink?

"Have you found a hint?"

Kagome's daydreaming of flamingo youkai and Sesshoumaru's pinkness disappears as his voice breaks her fantasy.

Kagome eyes the youkai, trying to picture him with pink hair and a pink moon on his forehead. She chokes the giggle that threatens to come out at the painfully funny image of a pink Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru glares harder, as if he could read her thoughts. Kagome glares back at him, but then she remembers that she should be looking for the last shard instead of thinking of flamingo youkai.

She gives him a sheepish smile before answering. "Eh…" She wonders what her possibilities of lying to him are. She has learned how to control her emotions, and the 'feelings' around her. She can't do much about her smell, but maybe if she keeps the anxiousness out of her body, control her heart rate and…

Yeah, right, she isn't that good.

How about evasion?

"You know…" she tells him, trying to sound angry and hurt, not that he would care, "you should be nicer to me." His lips lift in that almost smile and his eyes turn a shade lighter. Kagome has come to know of that expression as his 'I'm laughing at you' face. It always surprises Kagome. She spent so much time thinking he was numb, and now she knows that he _can_ feel. He feels just as much as she does, but he keeps it all away from the world. He keeps everything to himself.

Kagome doesn't know what to make of that, but after so many months of being with him, and even if she was in a depressed cloud, she still got to know his frustrating, angry, mocking, thoughtful, and sometimes pained expressions. She's learning to read the subtle changes in his face and eyes.

Especially his eyes, and damn, those eyes still remind her of Inuyasha every time she catches a glimpse of them and still makes her ache and…

Stupid Inuyasha.

Why the hell did he have to go and die before she completely stopped loving him? Why did he leave her with a heart in the middle of forgetting and a love that will forever stay?

How does she stop loving someone that isn't there anymore? Do the feelings become static when the object of affection is gone?

Will she stay static, forever loving a dead hanyou?

She _so_ hates Naraku.

And Sesshoumaru, who is mocking her right now. How dare he?

"Nicer?" He finally asks. Kagome tries to drill a hole through his head with her eyes. She is failing miserably.

"Yes, you know, considering we now have to work together."

Sesshoumaru moves his head to the side, something he does when he is thinking. "I do not see any reason to treat you…in a nice way."

Kagome can almost feel the vein at her forehead pop out. What the hell is wrong with youkai? Are they born without the part of the brain that allows them to be expressively functional? They all seem to come with huge emotional problems.

All the youkai and hanyou she knows only give her headaches.

"We have to work together." She tries to reason, though she doesn't even know why she is trying. She's already wasted enough time, and the faster she finds the shard, the faster they destroy Naraku, and she can go become a hermit or something. She definitely will keep away from youkai and hanyou of any kind of form, really.

She needs a vacation from everyone, including herself, but that is just not something she can do.

"I do not see why working together would require me to be _nice_ to you."

Kagome doesn't have good luck. Just _bad_ luck. She looks at Sesshoumaru again, who apparently has decided she is not interesting enough to watch anymore and has turned his eyes to their surroundings.

They are in the middle of a forest, again. Only trees surround them and the red leaves are falling to the ground.

She is so tired of forests and changing seasons. She woke up in winter, went through spring, summer, and damn, its autumn again. She last saw her loved ones in this season, and the red leaves seem to be laughing at her.

It's starting to get chilly. Kagome hates red. She needs new clothes. Apparently, modern clothes are just way too delicate. She is surprised they've lasted this long. Where will she get new clothes?

There are bird sounds and other animal sounds, and that should be enough for Sesshoumaru to know they are not in danger right now, except Sesshoumaru is paranoid.

She rolls her eyes at him.

She wonders if he would be this paranoid in the modern day. Kagome smiles slightly as she thinks of all the police shows. She can't picture an un-paranoid Sesshoumaru.

"There's no one coming to kill us just now." She tells him, allowing all her annoyance to fill her voice. "Trust me." Because, really, they spent way too much time on her training (over six months, and he still makes her spar him and reach with her miko powers and all those things she thinks are unnecessary).

Sesshoumaru turns his eyes back to her, and Kagome sighs and smiles at him. This is Sesshoumaru telling her that he trusts her. It's about time because they've been on this for almost a year, not counting the time she spent sleeping.

Kagome is not going to think about how it's been a year since she lost both her families.

She's not going to think about what her mom must think.

She is not going to imagine her brother going to the well every day and hoping she'll come out of it.

She will not think of school and how she was supposed to graduate, and how Hojo must have gone over a thousand times to her house to see if she was back.

She is not going to wonder if her grandfather is still alive.

She is not going to think of the future, and she is not going to think about how much she misses all of her friends from the Feudal Era. She is not going to think about how they died.

She is going to ignore the pain that almost a year without them brings her.

She hopes her family has moved on. She hopes they think she is dead, so that maybe they'll continue with their lives without waiting for her.

She knows they haven't. It breaks her very beaten and broken heart once more, but she collects the pieces before they shatter like the jewel and holds them together.

Later, when it is all over. She'll mourn later.

"Being nicer would help us get along."

"Why would I want to get along with you?"

"Because…" Kagome tries to punctuate every word. "We are going to be stuck together a long time, so it might be useful if we are not trying to annoy each other."

Sesshoumaru just looks at her blankly. "I don't try to annoy you."

Kagome is at the verge of a tantrum. Really, she is going to start kicking and wailing and kicking some more.

"Okay, so it might make us more synchronized when we are fighting."

"We are not synchronized."

"It might…"

"Kagome…" He says, and his voice reflects how much of his patience is already lost. In Kagome's point of view, he just completely lacks patience. "I don't want to be nice to you. I don't want to make you feel better, and if I protect you, it is only because you are useful." His eyes are darker. "You are alive because you can find the last shard. I let you live because I gave you my word, but that is all."

Kagome is pinned down by his stare, and she is reminded that no matter how much she tries, and that she now has a purpose, and that she has regained a little of what she once was, she is still just a human in Sesshoumaru's eyes. Still just someone that used to tag along with his brother, and he would not give her a second thought if it wasn't for the fact that she is a shard detector.

Oddly enough, she had begun to think of him as…something more. Then again, maybe it's just because he has done so much for her, even if he didn't want to…

And oddly enough, to have him think of her as nothing but a shard detector makes her…sad.

Stupid Sesshoumaru, acting just like stupid Inuyasha.

"I'm going to concentrate. I lost the feel of the shard. I'll get it back soon enough." She says before Sesshoumaru opens his mouth and hurts her once more.

Sesshoumaru nods and goes to stand guard on a tree.

Kagome doesn't know why his apathy towards her affects her so.

***

He does not want to feel anything towards her but anger and annoyance and frustration.

He doesn't want to think of him and her as a team. He doesn't even want to put them in the same sentence.

He does not want Kagome, a human, even if that stopped being important a while ago, to become someone he…thinks of. Cares for. Likes.

Those places should have died forever along with Rin and Jaken and his Lord title.

It was much easier when she pitied herself because there was nothing to like about her. In fact, everything that was her repulsed him, but ever since she decided to stand back up…

Broken as she is, Kagome has somehow managed to put the pieces back together, even if they don't fit perfectly anymore and they are in danger of falling apart any second.

She picks herself up, leaves the girl she was behind, and becomes this…

Sesshoumaru sees it every day, the way she fights back against her sadness and trains and looks, always looks, for the shard. He sees the way she is trying so hard, and at the same time is once more becoming the talkative and annoying person he remembers.

He can see the change in her, can see how she is growing stronger, both physically and emotionally, and he wants to be blind to the changes in her.

He does not want to know what each expression on her face means, even if it is a natural response after months of watching her. He does not want to trust her word when she tells him there are no youkai close. He does not want to look for her when they are fighting, always smelling the air to see if her blood has been spilled.

He wants to go back in time and not have taught her anything. He wants to go back in the past and not have spent three months watching over her sleeping form. He wants the world to spin backwards, so that he doesn't bring her back to life.

He wants her out of his existence because he refuses to care for anyone else. He wants to believe his capability to care for someone disappeared when his sword went through Rin.

He wants Kagome to disappear, to stop existing, to at least make her presence easier to ignore.

He wants Rin back and Kagome out of his life.

He wants no association with Kagome, except that now his life revolves around this miko.

His golden stare leaves the endless path of trees to focus on her once more. She is sitting crossed leg on the yellow grass, and she seems to be in deep meditation. She said it was harder to look for the last shard.

It seems that whoever has it is doing a great job to keep it constantly moving and hidden.

Kagome is not sure how they are managing to block the shard's power, but she says that, although it makes it harder to locate it, she can still do it.

Sesshoumaru wants to tear his eyes from her and just walk away.

He can't. He is not used to being denied, especially if it's his own desires, and he truly wishes they were attacked right in this moment. At least, that would give him an excuse to shed blood. But he won't be attacked. _They_ won't be attacked. Not today. Kagome is right; there is no one for miles. It is strange, but Sesshoumaru should not complain.

The practical part of his brain is glad, so glad, that they are not getting attacked today because that means that Kagome will be able to meditate without being interrupted, and she'll sense the last shard again, and they'll move towards it.

And a small part of him that is becoming bigger is glad simply because not being attacked means Kagome is safe, if only for this moment.

He hates that part of him that worries about her. He hates it with all he has because he can already see where this is heading.

And memories of Rin mix with Kagome mix with his father's mistakes mix with his half brother's mistakes mix with his own mistakes.

What is so…so…what attracts his family to female humans?

He does not want to care for this human girl that sometimes reminds him of Rin even if she is not Rin at all. Kagome and Rin are the same and not the same, and he will never, ever, think of them as the same person.

Kagome is Kagome, and he is not his idiotic half brother. He sees her for who she is and no one else, even if she does remind him of Rin.

There are gestures that she makes, looks that she sometimes gives him that remind him of Rin. In the way she plays with the sleeves of her clothes, or how she lets her hair fall freely around her face, or how she looks at the flowers, with a mixture of happiness and pain because she knows their time is short.

But Kagome is no Rin, and Sesshoumaru _always_ has this present.

It is Kagome, just Kagome, with the wild, black hair, the blue eyes, and the weird clothes that he is starting to see as a…companion.

One cannot travel with someone, fight with someone, work with someone, and not care.

Not even the Great Sesshoumaru Taisho, with his excellent technique to avoid any feeling that might disturb or distract from his goals.

He blames it all on her because, of course, Sesshoumaru could never be at fault for anything.

Kagome is such a part of his goals that he can't think of killing Naraku and avenging Rin without thinking of Kagome destroying the jewel and finally putting an end to all this madness. Sesshoumaru shifts so his body is completely turned towards Kagome. She is deep into meditating, and he knows when she is so concentrated, she tunes out the world around her, trusting him completely to take care of her.

Sesshoumaru hates her for this trust. Hates her because he _will _protect her, and it's not just because of the pact he made with her or because he needs her for his mission. Not anymore. No matter how many times he tells her.

He'll protect her because she is Kagome, and protecting her is an instinct in him.

He loathes her.

Loathes the way she is finally strong and not a nuisance and so very damn useful. Is disgusted by how she has got her fire spirit back, the way her eyes finally shine with determination, and the way she is, at last, holding herself back up.

He is repulsed that he had any part to do with this.

And he is infuriated because, despite being a youkai, a very powerful youkai, even though he is Sesshoumaru Taisho, emotions still affect him.

His only consolation is that Kagome can't read him well enough just yet. She still believes he does not care about her. It is the only thing that saves him, her, from falling into the mistakes everyone in his family seem to be so fond of.

He isn't even sure when the change appeared. He supposes he should have expected it. He should have known there was something wrong, that things could never turn out good for him, from the moment he decided to wait until she woke up.

The moment he made that decision, the moment he decided to train her against every instinct telling him not to, the moment he ignored all his internal alarms telling him to get away from her was the moment they were doomed.

And now he is here, watching as she meditates, thinking about the words she told him.

"_You should be nicer to me."_

But he already is.

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrow at her form.

He swore never again.

With Rin, his last weakness, died and he was once again the powerful youkai he was born to be. He was once more invincible, flawless.

Along came Kagome to ruin it all.

Kagome has such a potential to be an even greater weakness than Rin could ever be.

Because Kagome, unlike Rin, is someone that fights side by side with him, someone that can, against all odds, protect herself, someone that has been tainted, broken and mended and will most probably be broken again.

Kagome is not Rin, and she came after he swore never to feel again, to shield himself from every emotion, to block all feelings away, and she still somehow managed to sneak under his skin.

She is not even good enough to lie under his skin. Sesshoumaru has given it a lot of thought, or as much thought as he is allowed when every shadow is a possible threat, and he does not believe she deserves his attention.

It's not like she is that powerful, even if she is... and he is just being stubborn and his father must be laughing at him wherever he is. He hopes Inuyasha is not next to him, and then he hopes he is because maybe then he can see Kagome at his side, even if neither of them wants it, and maybe he can annoy his dead half brother.

Inuyasha definitely still annoys him, so he thinks it is only fair for him to annoy the hanyou in the afterlife.

He must be losing his mind.

"North," Kagome suddenly says, opening her eyes, and not at all surprised to find him there.

What was it she had told him three or so days ago? That they should try to be teammates?

Teammates.

He doesn't even know the meaning of that. He has never had teammates. There has always been him then people _under_ him. He has always given orders and expected they be followed.

She defies everything he has come to known.

Sesshoumaru gracefully stands while she very clumsily does so. He wonders how he can trust someone like her to guide him to the last shard.

"Come on," she whines, "We have to move quickly. Whoever has this stupid shard moves way too fast, and I don't want to lose track again."

Sesshoumaru does not know, can't understand, how he somehow ends up following her, and he quickly picks up his pace to be in front of her, except she smirks.

"And how are you going to guide when you don't know where we are going?"

Sesshoumaru does not slow his pace. Kagome quickens hers, and they end up walking side by side. He remembers the day when she fell and he picked her up and he started to respect her.

The small part of his mind that is becoming bigger is pleased to be walking side by side. That part of his brain should be cut so that things go back to the way they should be.

Sesshoumaru doesn't have such great luck, even if, by all rights, he should.

So the whole world is insane, and he is walking next to Kagome, and he trusts her, and maybe he has finally lost it.

"And I need new clothes. This is my last pair, and they are already falling apart."

Is she asking him to get her new clothes? Him? The epitome of perfection? The greates youkai? Power incarnated on a living being?

It doesn't even merit an answer.

He will try to find her new clothes, and in the back of his head, in the memories that he does not visit, he thinks he can hear Rin's giggles. He thinks she would like how things are developing between Kagome and him.

He wishes things were easier, wishes their decisions hadn't brought them here, together…

But wishing is for idiots, and Sesshoumaru is no idiot.

He walks next to the human he swore never to walk next to, and he uses all his self control to not sigh when she starts talking, or rather complaining, about what a horrible companion he is, and how they should really work on being teammates.

As far as Sesshoumaru is concerned, she is the closest thing he has ever had to a teammate.

***

The island is his.

Every mountain, every river, every cloud, every living and dead soul, everything, absolutely everything, is his.

And all the people inside of it are his. He owns them. They belong to him.

He sits at his throne, in the hall surrounded by windows at the top floor of his castle. Blood red flags with two fallen dogs and a silhouette standing over them, victorious and powerful, are at both his sides.

He smiles, a smile that makes the person next to him nervous. His flags are one of his biggest prides. He loves the hidden meaning in them, and can't help but feel satisfaction every time he looks into them.

Taisho was considered the greatest youkai of all time. Taisho was the start of his hatred towards…anything that moves. It is because of Taisho that he has worked so hard to get to where he is.

In all truth, he should thank Taisho for putting him where he is.

What a better way to give his appreciation to the long dead youkai than like this? In this way? Showing to the whole world that he completely and utterly destroyed the remains of his empire? What a better way to show his gratitude than by proclaiming his victory over the sons of the most powerful youkai to ever have lived on the island?

Yes, he is very proud of his flag.

He is even prouder of what he did to the hanyou. He feels pleasure every time he thinks of how low he has put Inuyasha Taisho, and his brother…

He frowns at that.

Sesshoumaru…

He structured and planned it all around him. Stupidity is not one of the traits he posses.

Killing the youkai now is out of the question. No one has seen the full force of Sesshoumaru Taisho, and he will not take any risks. He will not let all he has built go to ashes because of one youkai. Finding the last shard, completing the Shikkon No Tama,and immortalizing his victory go first, and then kill the youkai.

But he couldn't let the dog believe Naraku was scared of him. He had to take it all away from him, to bare him from anything he treasured.

It wasn't easy.

Sesshoumaru Taisho is not someone who cares much about anything, but Naraku had years of watching and waiting and patiently structuring this.

He had to do it at a time where he could move fast enough to go from Sesshoumaru's lands to the whereabouts of his brother.

Destroy his lands and people. That was priority. After that, he killed the Toad and the Flea. It still brings a big smile to his face to think of how they fought to protect the poor, little, innocent, human girl.

Sesshoumaru's most precious possession.

Oh, and what fun he had with her!

He can smell her fear and hear her cries, and over all that, he can see her eyes, full with hope, waiting for Sesshoumaru until the very end.

He put a small part of himself in her. Just enough so that she would live with her broken body until Sesshoumaru reached her.

The youkai would either kill her or let her live, at which case he would take control of the girl and order her to kill him.

A perfect plan.

He had toasted when he felt her die, knowing for sure that she was dead, killed by the very same person that had brought her back to life.

Sure enough, after that, the proudest youkai to ever walk this earth had to flee for his life, from his own lands, and it was all because of him, because of his great power.

Sesshoumaru is done.

After all, what can Sesshoumaru do with no one on his side? He would need a miko to help him, and no miko would ever help a youkai. Besides, he is doing a great job at killing them all. The only miko that would ever consider helping him is dead. He killed her personally, destroyed that human girl that was so annoying, always following Inuyasha Taisho. He never liked her. There was always something different and unnerving in her. It wasn't right, the way she was so at eased with hanyou and youkai. It wasn't right, the way she could sense the shards.

If he had let her live, she would be more dangerous to him than even Sesshoumaru simply because she would be able to feel where the last shard is.

No one but him will have that shard.

His hand goes to one of the flags, caressing the two fallen dogs.

Sesshoumaru Taisho is no more than a rock on his shoe, like all those little rebellion groups splattered across his land. He has already taken everything they cared for. He can feel the final victory at his hands.

His fist is meters away from closing around the last shard, and then, when he has the complete pearl, no one will be able stop him.

He'll rule forever, causing pain and massacre all over the world. He'll show everyone the mistake they made by discarding him.

The hall, decorated in a bright red, reminds him of a river of blood, just as he intended. He'll go far beyond this island, conquer the world, and make it smell of ashes and blood.

He'll make everything blood red.

"Sir?"

Naraku turns his face towards the familiar voice, giving her a sign with his hand to let her know she can continue.

"The mikos are getting better at hiding," she says. "It's been a week since we've found one, and there are still many alive."

Naraku frowns at this and refrains from killing her. She is, after all, responsible for a great part of what he is today. The red-eyed youkai next to him stiffens. Kagura openly dislikes the witch, and the witch dislikes the youkai in equal amounts. It amuses Naraku.

"And what are you doing to find them?" Kagura asks, bad intentions clear in every word.

Atsuki doesn't even look at her. Her silver pupils don't even trail her form. Her almost paper white, hand dismisses her. Her concentration is fully on Naraku. She knows Kagura can't lay a hand on her. No one but Naraku can. After all, she is the one that managed to make the incomplete jewel work. She doesn't even let her silver pupils trail her form.

Naraku looks at both females, one sending daggers at the other, and the other one staring at him. Sometimes, he can't believe how lucky he got to find the legendary witch everyone thought was dead hundreds of years ago. That she helped him, after some persuasion, is just another thing to prove how much the universe wants to watch him burn this world.

"I'm doing what I can," she says simply as she pushes a strand of ginger hair away from her face.

"But…?" Naraku asks, searching among his servants for the one he will kill to placate his growing frustration.

"I think…" Atsuki pauses before continuing, her grey eyes sharpening, and her delicate, young, face, though she is ages old, fills with concentration. "That _miko_ might be helping them," she finally says, hatred imminent as she speaks of her ex miko friend. Naraku knows the whole story. Knows all about Mali and Atsuki. Knows how Mali was always better, always praised. How Atsuki was always left behind, always left to watch as her best friend became better, be better, and finally left her all behind.

He likes Atsuki simply because, even after hundreds of years, even after Mali gave her the secret to a long life, Atsuki still holds her hatred high, not allowing it to weaken one bit. It remains him of the hatred he feels towards Taisho and his heritage, which, long after dead, still bring the richest hatred out of him.

Naraku grabs one of his flags again; the two slaughtered dogs making him feel better.

He won.

After everything, he won.

"Your _friend_", Naraku says, emphasizing the 'friend' part just to upset Atsuki, "is a trouble I don't want." A miko prodigy is not what he needs. He has already killed Kikyo and the other one; he doesn't need one stronger miko to ruin his plans.

"Find her," he tells her. "Kill her." She smiles at his orders, already plotting ways in which to kill Mali…

"Kagura will go with you," he says. Atsuki's smile falls. Kagura appears. Atsuki finally glares at Kagura. The female demon snarls.

Naraku hears the world scream in his mind.

And he is surrounded by chaos and a dying world, and he is happy to be the one that has caused all this.

He will make the older dog youkai fall. Maybe, if he is in a good mood, he'll make him his pet, just like his pathetic hanyou brother.

* * *

**Thank you for being so patient! You are the best, and I'm very happy to have you reading my story and liking it so much, so keep supporting me and please, please, please, review!!!!!!!**


	12. Old Enemies from the Grave

**I know. I took forever to update. But hey, I got eye surgery, and now I can see, and as I've been telling everyone, the world is so bright and pretty and, OMG, I don't need glasses to see!  
But the computer hurt my eyes for some time, and I couldn't stay on it long enough to finish a chapter or update.**

**But I can see,and I'm broke, and it doesn't matter because...**

**I CAN SEE!**

**Thanks to...**

**Xokaggyfanox – Kagome's powers will be explained later. Trust me, she's going to have more power, just, you know, not that much control. Expect it to not follow any miko power's rules, because It won't.**

**Zero-serenity – I will so not tell you if the gang is still alive. All I know is I have some HUGE surprises for all of you, and…Kagome won't know what hit her.**

**InDarknessDeath – Why, thank you very, very, much.**

**Sess Koibito – Oh, who has the last shard? All I will tell is that when you find out, you'll say something like, 'Duh, of course.'**

**Theloverofthe3inu's2ever – Mmmm, actually, your idea sounds very interesting. Could you explain more about the dead's point of view?**

**AllySan - Que te estes esforzando por leer esta historia me hace muy feliz. Espero que la sigas disfrutando tanto como hasta ahora, y tienes razón, Sesshoumaru y sus sentimientos por Kagome son inevitables, y sólo seguirán creciendo.**

**AkiChan323 – I'm very happy you are enjoying this story,and I hope your mother is better. My best wishes.**

**w0ah – I'm so happy you think this is a great story! Keep reading it, I'm sure you'll enjoy the rest. (at least I hope you will).**

**As for Inuyasha still being alive...I'm afraid I will not say if he is or isn't. You'll just have to keep on reading.**

**Now go, read, and enjoy.**

* * *

**Fragments of A Shattered Moon**

_**Old Enemies **__**from the Grave**_

**_"Just once, I wish my enemies would stay dead."_**

* * *

_"You're too soft."_

_Kagome, who minutes ago was busy contemplating how she could end up in such an horrible, awkward position, jumps at the serious voice. __She fights against the growing urge to groan, sure the other miko will not appreciate complaint…at all. __Kagome uses all her learned patience with Inuyasha and stares at Kikyo with careful eyes that somehow have not lost their innocence._

_Kikyo does not understand how someone that has traveled with a demon slayer, an orphan kitsune, a perverted monk and a power hungry hanyou could remain innocent._

_She doesn't know how a miko can be innocent._

_Because a miko is a protector, and most importantly, a miko is a weapon. Mikos fight and cure and observe the cruelty in the world so that the civilians will be spared. Mikos learn to mend bones, stitch injuries, sense, protect, kill…_

_Mikos learn to kill before they learn anything else._

_Kikyo knows more than enough about miko responsibilities and the burdens than come with them. _

_A miko is never seen as just another human, but rather like the only force between humans and youkai, and the responsibility burns the heart, scars the skin, annihilates the soul, until there is nothing left of the human and there is only a miko._

_Kikyo has been burned, destroyed and erased all her life._

_She's been around for a while. She fell in love with a hanyou she should have seen as her enemy. She died by the hands of another idiotic hanyou that later decided to revive her. She tried to kill the only man, hanyou, which she ever loved. __She woke up and__ Inuyasha still loved her, but there was another woman next to him. A woman that looked like her, except not at all like her. Her reincarnation, and Inuyasha looked at Kikyo but he looked at the young miko far more._

_He doesn't know it, of course, because Inuyasha was a moron fifty years ago and fifty years later he is still a moron. And Kagome, her reincarnation, obviously only reincarnated her clueless genes. _

_They are so different; __Kikyo often doubts Kagome is her reincarnation. Maybe she is Kaede's. But no, their physical resemblance is too much to be ignored. _

"_What?" Kagome finally asks, breaking the silence that was growing between them._

_Kikyo turns her brown eyes to her, crosses them with Kagome's blue, and they are not the same person. They've never been the same person. They are different, and they have no idea of how anyone can confuse them._

"_You're too soft," Kikyo repeats. She hardly repeats herself, but she always finds herself doing it when she is with the girl. "I don't know how you've survived this world." What she really wants to say is something like, 'Don't lose that innocence. Don't lose that innocence. Don't lose that innocence.' _

_Kikyo was never innocent. She never had the chance. And yet, there this girl is, Kagome Higurashi, the new Shikkon No Tama miko, all soft smiles and big eyes and fucking innocence._

_She is everything Kikyo ever wanted to be. That is why she hates her so much, why she can't stand the sight of her, why she is here, with them, helping kill Naraku. __She doesn't want Kagome to get killed, as she will certainly do if no one is there to take care of her. __She doesn't even trust Inuyasha with Kagome._

_Because Kagome, despite being a miko and carrying the responsibilities that come with it, still shines, still is more human than miko. Kagome has her dreams and her hopes and choices. Mikos don't have choices. _

_And Kami, if she couldn't be happy in her last life, and she is refused happiness even after being brought back to life, then at least Kagome will be happy. _

_She is her reincarnation, so as much as both of them hate it, there are parts of them that belong to the two, and maybe, just maybe, this is the world's way of saying sorry to Kikyo. Maybe it's the way in which it tells her that she is happy, only 500 years in the future._

_A big part of her tells her that they are not the same, and so it is not her happiness._

_Kikyo ignores it._

_So Kikyo has decided to be hurtful and evil towards her, just like she was when she first met her. Exactly like she did when she first saw her and realized the younger girl had taken over her life. __With the same hatred she felt when she finally understood that Inuyasha loved Kagome far more than he ever loved her._

_This way, maybe she'll knock some sense into her, and she'll stay alive, go back to her life, and live. Live in happy, carefree, duty-less naivety, 500 years from now._

"_Kagome…" she says again, before the other girl can say some nonsense. "How will you destroy the pearl?"_

_She has to ask because she just knows she is going to say something stupid like…_

"_Mmm, wish for something nice?"_

_Yes, stupid._

"_Idiot,__" she tells her, and her eyes are hard on her._

_Kagome wonders if maybe she should yell for Inuyasha to save her before Kikyo decides to kill her._

"_You can't just ask for something nice," Kikyo says, voice full of spite. Her eyes refuse to leave Kagome's._

_Kagome sees in those eyes the strength she wants, the force that she needs to keep her friends safe, and the determination that will never be hers. She sees in Kikyo the beautiful, gracious, elegant woman she will never be. Kagome has been sure, since the moment she first laid eyes on the gorgeous miko, that she will never be enough for Inuyasha, that Kikyo is the only woman worthy of someone like Inuyasha._

_She is just someone from the future, and she doesn't hold a light to the powerful miko._

_She's always been nothing more than a shadow compared to what Kikyo is._

_And she always says the __stupidest things when she is with her…"You can't?" It crushes her nice ideals of world peace, or a tolerant world, or maybe just a world where all her loved ones could find happiness. __Kagome doesn't understand this era where everything has to end in a bad way. She doesn't know why everyone fights so hard to __seek sadness and ruin any chance at happiness. _"_But why?" It truly is the only question that pops into her mind._

_Kikyo narrows her eyes at her. Kagome almost squeals, and she thinks that as many bad things as the future has, at least it doesn't hold her past self, who she is certain is trying to kill her. _

_True._

_Kikyo wants to strangle her. "You have to ask for something that you wouldn't want. For something that would make you completely unhappy, something completely selfless." _

_And Kikyo treasures Kagome now, in this present, in this moment, because she knows she is the only person in the world that can ask for that kind of wish. K__agome is the only person who puts herself after everyone else without even thinking about it.__She is the only hope this world has, and she will achieve what she couldn't. Even fifty years before, Kikyo only wanted Inuyasha to ask for something that would make her happy. She was too selfish to ever be able to destroy the pearl. _

_Had Inuyasha asked for his wish, would the pearl have disappeared only to be found again by someone__ even greedier?_

_Would she still be guarding it? Would Inuyasha still be at her side?_

_Would Kagome ever have been part of their lives?_

_Kagome only wants her loved ones happy. __Kagome is the only one who can make the Shikkon No Tama disappear. __Kikyo never thought she would meet the right kind of person to send the stupid pearl into oblivion._

_Kagome's eyes sadden. "You want me to ask for something that will make me unhappy?"_

_Kikyo watches her and knows she is asking for too much. She has already gone through far more than she was supposed to. _"_Yes." What more is there to say? She can't offer the girl an apology or reassuring smile. She can't give her hope; it's not her job. She refuses to cocoon her more than she is._

_Kikyo is no idiot, and she knows there is a possibility that, one day, Kagome will find herself alone with no one to take care of her. She has to make her a bit more independent. She has to give her the tools to defend herself if the time comes where she's left alone._

_If she tried to explain this to Kagome, she would just look at her, never to believe. _

_Kikyo imagines Kagome comes from a world where the chaos that exists now is impossible, a world with no demons to kill or burdens that are so heavy they break your will, a world where things are simple and allows naivety. She's always imagined her surrounded by friends in a world less cruel and fatal. Maybe a world where she only had to go to school and she could laugh as freely as she does and not be out of place. She wonders if her home at the future is like that. She hopes so._

_She hopes the future is better than the past. She hopes humanity has finally learned from their mistakes, and there are no more wars, injustice, cruelty and racism._

_Surely, if someone like Kagome exists 500 years in the future, the world is a better place._

_Kagome belongs in a word where demons are just nightmares._

"_Oh,__" is Kagome's only response. "So I can't ask for Naraku to just never exist?"_

_Kikyo almost smiles before she remembers she has to hate her to keep her alive. _"_No." _

"_How about something semi-nice?"_

"_No." Her lips almost curl upwards._

"_Something bordering on the line between nice and horrible?"_

_How has she managed to stay alive? _"_No."_

"_Well," s__he finally says, "That sucks."_

_Truly, she doesn't belong to this world._

_Yes, Kikyo will be mean and horrible and hate her, but she will protect her until the very end and no one will lay a hand on her._

_She sometimes wishes to __reach for the younger girl's hands and tell her she can trust her. She will be with her. She'll protect her. That she is like a little sister to her, even if some part of her hates her. She wants to tell her that underneath all the harsh words and the horrible glares, past the unimaginable jealously she causes in her, she wants her to be happy._

_She wants her to feel protected. She wants her to know that she will never, ever, allow a soul to hurt her if she is there to prevent it._

_She wants to tell her that she is everything she never could even dream she could be._

_But she doesn't. _

_***_

"I want to take a bath."

"There's a hot spring. Go take it."

Kagome glares at him. "You're here."

Sesshoumaru narrows her eyes at her. "Where else am I supposed to be?" Really, her mind goes places he never wants to reach. Besides, they've had this conversation throughout the months, and the result of it has always been the same.

He stays, and she does a show of getting into the hot springs without showing off anything.

She's been successful so far, not that he would care, and the only reason he knows is not because he is peaking. No, it's simply because she can trip on her own feet and break her neck if he doesn0t watch out for her. He doesn't want to revive her for a third time.

Kagome raises her fist to his face. "You pervert! I will not undress with you here!"

It takes a few moments to finally catch Kagome's thoughts. That she is voicing what he was thinking is just unsettling. He looks at her as indignantly as he can. "What makes you think I would like to see you naked?"

Kagome's face grows red with anger. "Are you saying I would not be a nice view to appreciate?"

Sesshoumaru is sure she has no restrain between her mind and her mouth. She just says the first thing that pops into her brain. An evil thought crosses his mind. "I do believe I deserve better," he simply states.

She is fuming. "What the hell do you mean you deserve better?" she angrily shouts, scaring some of the birds away. Sesshoumaru wonders how long it will take until they are attacked. For someone that has been dead twice, she does not measure her actions. Or tone of voice. "I will happen to let you know that I have an extraordinary, enviable body." All the walking and training and strict diet they are forced into in this era has given her an admirable body.

When she could still go to the future, her friends used to ask her how she could have such a nice body when she was always sick and missing classes. They wanted to know her secret. Kagome toyed with the idea of telling them to just throw themselves down a well. Since some of them would actually consider it, she refrained from suggesting so.

Sesshoumaru arches an eyebrow, looking at her like some mere mortal. In all truth, Kagome _is_ a mere mortal, but that gives him no right to mock her and her splendid body. Since fast food and candy stores don't exist in the Feudal Era, much less in this time, where Naraku would have gladly burn them just because they make people happy, she eats as healthy as she can and trains and is always running for her life, and this body she's been given is probably the only good thing that has come from being stuck in this time.

Kagome hates everything about her situation but this part.

Not that there is anyone to appreciate it because obviously Sesshoumaru can't be considered. She thinks the people that come to kill her eye her far more than the youkai she now spends every second of her life with.

"I'm sure I've seen better than you," he simply says.

That. Is. It.

Just because he does happen to have a somewhat nice body doesn't give him the right. Kagome will not let the good for nothing idiot who thinks he is so great mock her. And it's not like she has been peaking because she hasn't. It's even ridiculous to think that. It's just that sometimes during their training, he takes his shirt off, and it should be illegal for him to take his shirt off. Or illegal for him to wear a shirt.

She's not going there.

But he does take it off, and most of the time she just loses her concentration and ends up on the floor. Of course, it's not because she likes what she sees. It's simply that she can't believe such a lack of…indecency. Never mind that in the future they have far more…alluring clothes.

Besides, even if she had looked, it's not her fault. It just so happens that he is well toned and marked and has a great six pack, and his arms are just perfect, and his hair glows around him, and he is tall and lean and…

Kagome most definitely doesn't notice his abs or his pectorals or his cold, golden eyes. She doesn't notice his carved face or the way his body flexes as he moves.

And she definitely doesn't think he looks like a god, because he is not, and he is far from being one, and…

Kagome shakes her head to try to straighten her thoughts. What did he say this time, anyway?

She looks at him. He has that _'I'm mocking you'_ look on his face that she so hates. In reality, his face would look blank to anyone else, but Kagome is so used to him by now that she just knows he is mocking her.

She will make him pay.

"What did you say?"

His mocking face grows. "You are not that special, Kagome."

"You idiot! I'll show you!" Kagome says, and in a moment of what she will later remember as a moment of complete mental break down, she takes her clothes off and stands with only her underwear in front of Sesshoumaru. To make it worse, it's fucking chilly, and she is trembling…

Sesshoumaru just stares at her with his delicate eye-brow raised. Then he smirks, actually smirks, and says, in a completely curious tone, "Is that…?" He has no idea what kind of fabric that is, but it looks soft and shiny. "I didn't know undergarments looked…" he waves his hand to her underwear, "…like that."

It takes Kagome a couple of minutes to process and realize what she has just done.

"Ah!" she yells, as she tries to cover herself with her hands. "Look what you made me do!" Before Sesshoumaru can point out that he didn't make her do anything, she turns from him and jumps into the spring. "And don't you dare join me or come here until I'm fully dressed!" she yells at him from the other side of the spring.

The thought of joining her has not crossed his mind in all the months they have travelled. Now, however…

Sesshoumaru, he decides, has to give it to her. She does have an…acceptable body. A very acceptable body, not that he would ever lower himself to appreciate someone like her.

Still, as he goes to find himself a place to sit that is far away to satisfy Kagome and her 'modesty', he can't help but feel his lips turn upwards.

Maybe acceptable is an understatement.

He can hear Kagome murmur things like 'pervert' and 'idiot' under her breath. He wonders if she knows that he can hear her just fine.

He doubts it.

***

Kagome stares at Sesshoumaru with big eyes that have seen too much to be innocent.

They still, somehow, hold hope, and he can't phantom how she can do it.

He thinks, even when she was in comatose, as he is now calling the months she immersed in self-pity, she still held that hope. How she does it is beyond him, and he does not, definitely does not think that it's a good thing.

He would never think something like that.

He would never find anything about her…nice or good or anything that is…an acceptable trait. He definitely doesn't think back of the few moments that she stood before him almost naked. He doesn't remember her long legs, or her toned arms, or her very small waist. The picture of her black hair shining around her and her blue eyes defying him do not fill his thoughts.

He is Sesshoumaru Taisho. He has lived a long time. He's been with many female youkai, and the mere image of _Kagome_, of all people, almost naked in front of him, does not bring urges in him.

He doesn't even like her. He can't stand her, and just because she is now the only person that is on his side and his...teammate does not mean anything. He does not think of her as a woman. He will never think of her as anything more than his shard detector and…

Sesshoumaru wants to snarl at himself. He just contradicted his very own thoughts because he thinks of her as his teammate, and he doesn't understand the concept well enough, but he is sure that means she is more than just a shard detector.

So maybe he does take care of her. He watches out for her, and he walks next to her so she won't trip and fall down a huge hole or something equally ridiculous. He guards her in the night, when she has to sleep and he doesn't, and he always finds hot springs so she, and he, can take a bath, but that doesn't mean anything. He just likes cleanliness.

She doesn't mean anything.

Sesshoumaru's eyes go to her. Although she does remind him of Rin sometimes, he thinks mostly of just Kagome.

It's impossible to look at Kagome, to be with Kagome, and think of anyone else. Even with the similar traits she shared with his Rin, they are opposites.

Only his half brother could be stupid enough to confuse her with Kikyo. If Kagome just barely reminds him of Rin, she reminds him even less of the other miko. They have nothing similar, except perhaps the hair, and even in that they are different.

Kagome can be nothing more or less than Kagome.

She is like nothing else he has ever encountered. Even now that she is always on alert, she holds an air of carelessness no one but she can have in a time like this. Like she thought she might wake up and find herself in a secure world.

He will ask her soon where her home is located. He is very curious to know about the place where she comes from. Are they all this clueless? Are all her people as different as she is, or is she the only one? Is she rare even amongst her own?

Her feet are touching the water of the hot spring. She's moving them back and forth, alternating them. Her eyes leave his and go to the water, where the reflection on the sun can be seen. In less than an hour, the sun will lie down for the day until night surrounds them. Sesshoumaru has decided they will stay here for the night, since Kagome seems so reluctant to leave.

Red leaves encase them. For once, there is no wind, and the normal noises of the forest are all that is heard. They sit on a rock at the border of the spring. He has his legs crossed, and he is next to Kagome, watching as she unsettles the water with her feet.

She breaks the reflections that forms in it, making the image of his face disperse. Oddly enough, her reflection disperses towards him, and they find each other in the middle.

He knows it's wrong. The idea is ridiculous and the last thing he needs is to…

But she has become such a constant part of his life that he does not know…

He doesn't know.

He doesn't know, and he always knows, so he should know. He should know what she is doing to him. He should know what is happening to him.

He should know the place she has in his life.

'_Everything.'_ A voice in his head say. _'She's everything you have.'_

He shuts the voice down, drowns the words, and erases them from his mind. Sesshoumaru frowns inwardly. His face remains blank to the world.

"Hey," Kagome says, "what's wrong with you?"

His face remains blank to the world, that is, except to Kagome. Stupid miko, knowing how to read him. No words come out. There really is nothing to tell her because he doesn't know.

Everything shouldn't be a title for her to hold. She is, after all, only human, and she tends to end up in the worst situations ever possible. Besides, he is Sesshoumaru, and only he, himself, Sesshoumaru Taisho, is everything to him.

She is just the person that came along for the ride.

Even Rin was never so constant in his life. He certainly didn't spend as much time with her as he has with Kagome. He doesn't even think he spent such a long time without separation from his mother when he was a child.

Kagome seems to sense the struggle within him because she suddenly kicks the water and turns her blue eyes to him. They are narrowed and guarded, and he wonders what she will ask next.

"So…" she says bluntly because that's the way she is. "Once we get the pearl back, what are you going to do with it?"

Sesshoumaru just stares at her curious eyes, guarded. "You are the Shikkon No Tama miko," he says.

She shrugged. "What are you going to do with it, once you have it?" She sighs. "All I want from that pearl is for it to disappear."

"It is your responsibility."

She shakes her head. "I know, but what will you do with it?"

Kagome needs to know. She needs to know what someone like Sesshoumaru would ask of the pearl. Would he ask it to bring back Rin? To give him back his lands? To regain all that is his?

None of those wishes will make the pearl disappear. She knows what she has to do to erase if from the face of this Earth. She just doesn't want to do with it, so she waits and pleads to the sky for something that is impossible. She wants the burden of the stupid pearl taken off her shoulders.

It is not possible.

So she asks Sesshoumaru. He is looking for it, so he must want something from it. Besides, she truly is curious. It seems like her time in this era all revolves around that stupid, shiny, pearl.

Naraku wanted it, and that ripped Kikyo and Inuyasha apart, trapping him to a tree for fifty years. Inuyasha wanted it, and that started her crusade to find the lost shards scattered all across Japan. Now, Sesshoumaru wants it, which is the reason why she is currently alive, and she can't help but be curious about his motives for wanting the pearl.

Sesshoumaru merely looks at her with those golden, impossibly cold eyes that seem to have a grip over her that is becoming tighter every time.

She almost doesn't see Inuyasha in them anymore.

He responds with voice covered by coldness and coated with duty. "I will destroy it."

And isn't that a new answer?

She's certainly never gotten it before.

Everyone wants a wish.

She wants a wish.

"Don't you want a wish?"

His eyes are still on her. She is scared of his answer, scared of finding out that he really does want something. "No."

There is no doubt on his voice. Kagome feels calm overcome her. He doesn't want a thing. He's not interested. She doesn't have to worry about him wanting more. She doesn't have to fight with him over the peal in order to ask for something that will make her unhappy.

Everyone always wants more…

"How are you going to destroy it?"

His eyes narrow. He closes them, opens them, and blinks. Kagome sighs.

"You hadn't thought about that, had you?"

Sesshoumaru doesn't let this waiver his determination.

"I'll merely crush it."

And maybe being idiotic and impulsive runs in the Taisho family.

"You can't crush it," she says. What she really means to say is_, 'Have you not paid attention? I crushed it and look where that got us.'_ Except maybe Sesshoumaru just wasn't interested enough to know the details of why the pearl had scattered.

He probably thought it was below him.

If it was that easy to destroy the pearl, she would have been home before the adventure started.

"I suppose you know how?" he asks.

Kagome allows herself to roll her eyes at him. "It did come from my body." Never mind Kikyo had to explain to her how to get rid of it. Sesshoumaru raises an eyebrow in question, but Kagome waves a hand dismissively before he can ask. "You have to ask for a selfless wish. In fact, you have to ask for something you truly don't want. Something that truly won't bring any happiness to you, to make the pearl disappear."

Her eyes search his, and she can see he is starting to see the dilemma that awaits them.

The same question crosses their minds.

"Who thought of such a riddiculous way to get rid of it?" He voices it out. And Kagome lets out a loud laugh that doesn't sound hurtful at all. She laughs and laughs and her eyes sparkle.

She looks happy. He doesn't understand why, but he is sure this is the first time he has heard that laughter since Inuyasha died.

She used to laugh all the time when her group of friends were alive, and to have her laugh now…

It makes him feel…better.

"Sesshoumaru," she suddenly says before he can ponder on his last thought, "I never thought I would say this, but I'm glad you want the pearl." She moves her hand towards him and puts it next to his, barely touching, but Sesshoumaru can feel the contact anyway. "I'm glad it's you I'm helping find the last shard."

He doesn't move his hand away.

***

"Four coming from the left and four from the right. It'll take them about ten minutes to reach us. Do you want to meet them?" Kagome says, sounding bored, though alert. With her miko powers, she can feel them from miles away. Combine that with his sense of smell, and they are a pair no one can surprise.

Most of the times. She still sometimes get distracted, and the most powerful usually hide until they're meters away, which is why Sesshoumaru's nose is so important.

"We'll wait for them here."

Kagome, one hand at her hip and the other one covering a yawn, reaches for her bow. After the enemy is close, she will take the sword. That is, of course, if Sesshoumaru isn't finished with them by then.

"Are we getting better at hiding?" Kagome asks.

"No." He comes closer to her, back to back so they can protect both flanks. He's no idea when having Kagome at his back, when being near her, made him feel better. Kagome leans against him, and her hand touches his lightly to catch his attention. He turns his face, neck stretched so he can see the side of her face.

"Why are we not getting better at hiding?"

Sesshoumaru sighs. He tried not to sigh around her, but she is just too annoying to prevent it. She is a force he can't ignore or stay emotionless towards. Kagome just grins at him, knowing exactly what he is thinking.

"What? Shouldn't you have taught me to hide my powers or something?"

"I did."

"But we are still getting attacked."

"Because you keep using your miko powers."

"So? You use your…uh…demon powers."

Sesshoumaru uses all his self control to not roll his eyes. She makes him act so…ungraceful. "Naraku is not hunting youkai."

"I'm sure if he could he would hunt you down."

"Me using my powers doesn't indicate who I am."

"I know who every youkai is by their youkai powers."

"That's because you are a miko."

"So?"

Do. Not. Roll. Eyes. Or break her neck. "Other youkai can't tell who I am."

"Sure they can. They just don't know you well enough."

"Because they are weaklings."

Kagome does roll her eyes. Sesshoumaru can't see her, but he knows she did it.

"But why do they have to chase after me?"

"Because you are a miko."

"If Naraku finds out I am alive…"

"He will."

"We should try to prevent that for happening."

"It is inevitable."

"But we have to find the last shard before he kills me!"

Sesshoumaru tries to ignore the fury those words bring him. He can feel the anger invade his senses, willing him to rip something, _anything_, apart.

He doesn't like the feelings Kagome's death bring to him, which is weird, considering he didn't feel half this bad when _he_ killed her.

For the thousandth, he thinks he shouldn't have brought her back to life. She is just too much trouble, too many emotions, too much her.

He is beginning to understand why his half brother couldn't detach himself from her, even with the first miko around. He loathes the comparison. He is not his half brother. Kagome is not beautiful or overly intelligent or anything that makes her especial.

Sesshoumaru will not let her die.

"He can try."

Kagome is still leaning on him. "Ugh, he is such a nuisance."

"Don't be scared," Sesshoumaru says, not even sure why.

Kagome snorts. "I'm not."

Sesshoumaru lets an almost grin touch his face and mockery his voice. "Of course not."

Kagome blinks before grinning herself. "It's your fault they can feel us."

He gives a step forward, making Kagome fall on her backside. She glares at him from the ground. He looks at her as innocently as he is capable of, which is not much.

"How is it my fault?"

"You should have taught me to hide my miko powers."

"I did."

"Well…" Kagome says, almost as if reprimanding him, "You obviously didn't do that good of a job."

Sesshoumaru is going to kill her, regardless of what he promised.

"Kagome…" he says the name like it's a curse. "I'm not a miko to teach you those things. You are the miko." However, his words go unnoticed.

Kagome is no longer paying attention. She is at her feet, standing back to back with him again. Her eyes are on the horizon, waiting for their attackers.

"Something is wrong…" she finally says. "It doesn't feel…right."

Sesshoumaru sniffs, stiffens…

Kagome gasps as they get closer. "Is that…?"

She should have been dead, Sesshoumaru thinks.

She should be dead and in the ground rotting. She should definitely not be approaching them and about to attack. Naraku killed her himself. Sesshoumaru almost felt sorry when she died. She should not exist…

"Oh god…" Kagome says at his side. "It's…"

"Kagura," he finishes, snarling the name out.

He supposes Naraku would eventually find out about them. But he can feel Kagome's uncertainty, and for a reason that upsets him.

He doesn't like being upset.

He's going to send Kagura back to her grave.

***

**Yes, people, I know, you hate me because I take so long to update, but hey, on the bright side, you already know I'm not leaving this story unfinished, because I never do.**

**Unless I die.**

**But I'm more than certain that won't happen any time soon.**

**So, go, review, and oh, they're starting to think of each other, and Kagome is not crying every single sentence, and oh my, we have some action coming in the next chapters. This story is moving, and I have so many plans for it!**

**You won't know what hit, you, so go, review, review!**


	13. Will She Be Holding Nothing?

**I know! I know. I'm awful late in the updates. School has been hard and filled with work, and I write in my free time, which is not much. But I try really hard to get this to you as soon as possible, and you can count on me trying to do the very best for you.**

**Thanks to...**

**Xakaggyfanox – Everything went fine, and I'm enjoying the results. Thank you. Oh, and the selfless wish…hahahaha, I've got no idea of what is going to be.**

**AllySan –oh, no te preocupes. No mencione lo de mi operación en el último capítulo. Fue algo que no estaba programado y paso. Todo salió …sip, su aparición definitivamente traerá lo que me gusta conocer como la segunda etapa de esta historia. Falta un poco para ver exactamente cuáles son las consecuencias, pero definitivamente será como una diferencia entre el principio de la historia y el final. Probablemente toda la mitad de la historia se basara en esto.**

**Mychicagostars – I usually write Kikyo depending on my humor. It's such a mysterious character that it's easy to play with her thoughts and actions. So this time, she's not going to be the evil one. She's going to be good in her not at all good way.**

**Zero-serenity – I didn't tell anyone because it sort of happened pretty fast, but I'm extremely happy with the results. And thanks for pointing the mistake out**

**W0ah – I think a lot before starting to write a story because I like to get inside my characters minds. Each one of them, and it's exhausting, but I have to get them right, and I have to make them believable, or I feel like I'm totally ruining them, so I'm glad you appreciate all the effort I put into this.**

**Loveyaa1210 – I think Kagome is always struggling between the part of her that wants to be naïve and the part of her that knows that's not possible. She wants to be innocent so desperately, and at the same time she can't…so she switches off, and is naïve when allowed and is serious, deadly, and dangerous when needed, but that's the way I see her. How about you?**

**REDWOLF47 – Hahaha, maybe I'm being over-confident, but hey, we have to think big. Big favor to ask you. If you come to the point where you think 'She was right, I don0t know what hit me', you have to tell me, so I know if I'm doing things right J**

**Trelweny Rosephoenixwolf – I made Kikyo evil in my last story, so I wanted to work her in a different way. I haven't written much about her in this story, but I like where she's going. She's not going to appear much, but the few times she does appear, I'll try thins new thing.**

* * *

**Fragments of a Shattered Moon**

_**Will she be holding nothing?**_

_Buggy: Why go back dying for him ?  
Bon__ Clay: Because we are friends! There is no need for any other reasons!_

_-One Piece_

* * *

Kagome trembles before regaining her composure. It's enough to give her away.

Fear is invading her.

Sesshoumaru frowns at this. Going into battle never scares her, so why should she…

"Sesshoumaru…" she says, voice barely audible. If he didn't have superior hearing, he would have missed her words all together. "Kagura is not our only problem."

He waits for her to continue.

She gulps before saying another word. "There is someone else with her."

"Besides the small army of youkai?"

"There is hanyou within them."

"Kagome…" he says, his tone a clear warning for her to say whatever she knows. She does have a tendency to wander from the point.

"There is someone else. Someone powerful. I'm not sure what _it_ is, but the aura it emanates…"

"It?"

"I'm not sure of the gender, so 'it' sounded better."

He nods at this. In a way, it makes perfect sense. He thinks calling 'it' the enemy would be better, but this is Kagome. She has a tendency to call whoever is trying to kill them in the most respectful way she can. It's a flaw, in his point of view, but he'll never tell her. The miko will not get it.

"How strong?"

Kagome trembles a bit more as the enemy gets closer and Sesshoumaru finally senses the aura Kagome was talking about.

"Oh." Is all he says, understanding how he could miss such a presence. Whoever the aura belongs to, it knows how to hide. It's a mystery Kagome managed to feel it before him.

"I'm not sure if we can…" Kagome doesn't want to run. They have run from battles from time to time, when the odds are completely turned against them or one of them. It's usually her, always her, who is injured, but she doesn't want to run now.

Kagome is sure it is Kagura coming after them. Even if she was supposed to be dead, it can only be her.

That murderous, fearful aura could only belong to her.

Giving Kagura the satisfaction of running away is something she will not do.

How come no one seems to stay dead in this Era? People who have been died should stay dead, for kami's sake! They should definitely not come back to haunt them.

Especially when they are supposed to be rotting underground.

She's getting a headache...

Kagome could never forget the feeling of the female youkai. It still brings her nightmares.

"It's too late to run now," Sesshoumaru says. He knows what Kagome is thinking. If he could, he would avoid a confrontation with them. They are nowhere close to finding the last shard, and he counted on Naraku not knowing they were alive and working together to give them more time.

It seems that advantage is going to be taken away from them.

He's run at least a hundred plans in his head, and they can do nothing but fight. He is sure he can take Kagura and whoever is with her, but there are still many youkai left that need his focus. Kagome can't deal with all of them. Kagura is strong enough for him to have to focus on her solely, but that leaves Kagome vulnerable.

He will not risk her just to kill Kagura.

"We fight," he tells her. There has to be a way where he can kill the annoying youkai and still protect Kagome. He's a genius, the best strategist this world has ever seen, a Lord, and he will find a way to do both things.

Nothing is impossible for him.

"Like you would want to run," she says, sounding petulant, annoying, and very like her.

A smile almost graces his lips. "We don't have another choice."

She sighs. Does he always have to be so rational? "I know. Besides, they are going to be here any minute now." Never mind that she agrees with him, even if just this one time.

"I'll deal with the two strongest." His words are an order.

He expects her to question him, even in times like this.

"No," she says, her fist clenched tightly over her bow. "I'll help you."

The idea of Sesshoumaru fighting alone against two powerful enemies makes her throat close up. The idea of him losing or even getting hurt is ridiculous and impossible. She should know. He hasn't gotten injured once in all the months she's been with him, but…

But she can't just deal with minor youkai while he deals with big fish. She's not going to stand it.

And if Sesshoumaru gets hurt…

What if she loses him, too? She would be left alone, and this time she just wouldn't survive. It's not just that, though, because a part of her is just worried for him, not at all for her, and that part is screaming at her to not let him face the two strongest alone.

Sesshoumaru should not be this important to her. The thought of losing him shouldn't affect her this much.

She should be indifferent to him, but who would she be kidding with that show? She's never been able to not care, and to not care for Sesshoumaru…

Even if he hadn't brought her back to life or hadn't trained and help her…Even if he didn't take care of her or was always by her side…

Even with the last few months between them gone, she would still care for him.

And if they had nothing between them, if their paths had never crossed, he would still be Inuyasha's brother, and that is enough in her book to deserve her affection.

But he is so much more to her now, even if she doesn't want him to be, or if she tries to deny it most of the time.

He matters. He is the only thing she has. Being Inuyasha's brother is now almost nothing compared to all the things that lay between them.

She will not deal with just the other youkai while he faces the other two, even if they aren't strong enough to kill him, even if she is not strong enough to be of any help. She hasn't trained for nothing. She hasn't worked so hard to just deal with the minor threats.

She will…

"Don't get hurt." It's a whisper carried by the soft wind barely making it to his ears.

The enemy is approaching. Kagome can taste their presence. Their desire to fight and kill anything is palpable, vibrating on her skin, making the hairs at the back of her neck stand.

She is overwhelmed by a wave of dread and anger that almost paralyzes, and she wants to scream or cry or run. She wants to take Sesshoumaru's hand and just drag him far away from all of this. She wants him to be somewhere that no one can hurt him, even if Kagura and whoever is with her will most likely not even touch him.

She has a bad feeling about this fight, and the last time she had a bad feeling…

Well, the last time she had a bad feeling, she woke up to stare into Sesshoumaru's icy eyes and found everyone she loved was dead.

So yeah, bad feelings make her want to dig a hole, curl up in it, and never crawl out.

"Don't you dare get hurt." This time it's a growl. She says it angrily, fiercely, and underneath all that, almost begging. But she does not beg. Will. Not. Beg. Can't afford to beg.

He almost snorts at her words. Almost. He doesn't do something as mundane as snort.

Besides, if he snorts right now, Kagura won't have to kill him. Kagome will. He can hear right through the anger her desperation, her need for him to live, and so he doesn't snort. He can't find it in him to laugh at her right now that she is so close to panic, even if he doesn't understand why she would be so panicked about him getting hurt.

His response is simple. "That's not possible."

But she thinks of all the people that have already died, all those she has already lost, and all those she already killed.

She thinks of all she has learned and the power that Naraku now represents, and she knows Sesshoumaru is almost god like, even if she will never admit it to him, but they are just two against the whole fucking world, and a tiny voice at the back of her head tells her that even immortals have been overthrown. Even immortals have ceased to exist.

Hell, she had to study Greek Mythology. Those gods didn't do too well, last time she checked.

She just can't afford to lose Sesshoumaru.

This is a hell of a time to realize just how much she has come to rely on him, and she so needs to re-prioritize the important stuff.

Finding the last shard and saving the future should be first. Looking out for Sesshoumaru shouldn't even make it on her top five.

So much for not ever caring again and 'this is just business', and all that nonsense she kept telling herself to not grow attached.

She can't avoid growing attached, even if it is just business to Sesshoumaru, who is retarded when it comes to expressing emotions.

"Don't get hurt." What she really means to say is, _'Don't die. Don't die. Don't die. Don't you dare die. Not you. Never you. Don't leave. Don't get hurt. Don't die. Don't die. Don't die.'_

He doesn't answer back. He doesn't have time to because suddenly, they are surrounded by at least fifty youkai and hanyou, a very angry looking woman, and a youkai with red eyes Kagome thought she would never see again.

Her life sucks, and please, please, please, don't die.

His silence doesn't comfort her.

***

Kagura is thrilled.

No, take that back.

She is so completely and utterly satisfied that she can barely contain her look of boredom.

Coming back just to see this is worth everything.

She never, ever, expected events to go this way. In a hundred years and thousands of lives, the image in front of her would be something no one could ever have imagined.

It certainly makes up for having to travel with the stuck up witch. Atsuki is the worst thing that has ever happened to Kagura. The fact is aggravated because she can't get rid of her without angering Naraku.

But this…this makes up for everything.

Inuyasha's strange, supposed dead miko is…alive. Very alive. Last time she saw her, there was blood everywhere, Naraku was laughing manically, and the miko's life was slowly leaving her body.

This miko in front of her is very much alive.

She knew they should have waited until _all_ the life was out of her body. Nothing to worry about. She'll fix that mistake.

Cold, dangerous, golden eyes meet hers. The powerful demon moves an inch closer to Kagome while his eyes promise death.

She actually feels goose bumps at the expression in those eyes, an act extremely difficult when you serve under Naraku.

Another fact, though, is invading her mind.

He is protecting the miko. He surely brought her back to life. More importantly, though, they are definitely together. Their stance is balanced. They take turns on watching the surroundings so that no place is left unguarded. If one moves, the other arranges their body so that they fit perfectly.

If she didn't know better, she would say they've been fighting together for years, that they completely complement each other.

Not even with Inuyasha did she have such harmony. Sesshoumaru has never had harmony with anyone.

Naraku will not be pleased at all, and suddenly killing the miko seems to be a more difficult task to complete.

Overall, it's dangerous to have the two of them working together. They got rid of her because of her ability to feel the shards, but now that she is alive and with Sesshoumaru…

They didn't kill Sesshoumaru because it was a risk they couldn't take at the moment. She can't risk it now. The youkai is far more powerful than all of them. Even with Atsuki, they aren't enough to beat him.

The miko also doesn't feel like she used to. Her powers are raw, but they feel more controlled and powerful, and the way she eyes the enemy, watches them, ready to strike at any movement, are traits of her that are unknown.

She is not the girl they left bleeding, lonely, and broken.

It crosses her mind to think that maybe they made a mistake because surely, Naraku never thought of this development.

She narrows her eyes. Her master thought Sesshoumaru would stay quiet for awhile if they took Rin away. The ex-lord seemed completely attached to the girl, and although they knew he would come back for revenge, they thought he would come when they found the last shard.

It's obviously not the case.

It still makes her existence worthy.

Of all the things that could happen, these two working together is the one thing no one would ever have expected.

She smiles. She can take advantage of this. She can make it work. The only thing she has to do is separate them, break them apart.

Despite looking like they're meant to work together, they are still Sesshoumaru and…whatever-her-name-is, and the past forms the present.

Their past is killing intents, hatred, prejudices, Inuyasha between them and no understanding of each other.

She can make this work. She'll enjoy ripping them apart. After all, a few months together don't form unbreakable bonds.

"Mmmm, so I see you have given your services as shard detector to the older brother," Kagura smiles. "My, my, I'm proud of you, miko. You sure know how to prostitute your work, though I'm curious, do you think Inuyasha would be pleased with this?"

Bingo.

Kagome's attention goes from the surroundings to her, and her face goes from mildly interested to painful to furious to devastated.

"What?" she asks, her teeth clenching and her voice trembling. "What did you say?"

Kagura smiles. "Well, Inuyasha used to have you around only because you were a shard detector, and of course Sesshoumaru could only have brought you back to life because of it," she says, casually. "So, really, your existence is only worthy because you can feel the shards." Oh, she is enjoying every single second of this. Especially because she can see the ghosts appear in her eyes. "Such a pity," this is so worth being on the same side as Atsuki. "that it was not Kikyo who survived, but you." Her smile represents pure evil. "You, instead of that powerful miko. What could you possibly do that could compare to her?"

She looks down on her. "I wonder…would Inuyasha be happy that it was you who survived instead of her? I don't even recall your name." She waves her hand, dismissing her and turning her attention to the silver haired youkai. "She must be a nuisance. Don't you ever wish it was Kikyo you had brought back to life instead of…her?"

The miko launches herself at her, fully intent on destroying her. Kagura is ready for her, sees her opportunity to fix their mistake…

Sesshoumaru grabs the miko by the wrist and yanks her back to his side.

"Don't," he says. "Not yet."

Atsuki chuckles at her side.

"It seems," she says, "These two are going to give us trouble." When she was given the mission to go seek mikos, she never thought it would be this interesting. Or dangerous. This youkai feels powerful. Too powerful, and she's not stupid enough to believe even she can defeat him. She hasn't lived this long by picking fights with youkai like him. The miko at his side, who is currently trembling in anger, has an edge around her that she doesn't like.

Her power feels too much…too much like how Mali's used to. Atsuki suppresses the memory of the last fight she had with Mali.

If she has made herself as powerful as she is now, it is only so if she ever meets her she can defeat him.

This miko will become trouble if she is left alive.

"Don't play with them," she reprimands Kagura, taking pleasure in the dark look the youkai sends her way. "Let's just get this over with."

It seems they don't have much choice. Evading this fight will be unforgivable. Naraku will have the perfect excuse to torture them.

"The others will take care of the miko," she tells Kagura. "We have to fight him together."

"Don't order me around," Kagura snaps. "I had already figured that out."

"Well, it didn't look that way to me." Atsuki gives her a smirk. "Unless infuriating the enemy and getting the powerful youkai angry were your intentions?"

"Shut up," Kagura snarls, face twisted with anger.

Atsuki waves her hand at her. "Shouldn't have expected better from you." Her eyes turn to the unknown enemy. "Shall we begin?"

"Do you even know who they are?"

She shrugged. "Don't care."

"You should."

"Mmm."

"That is Sesshoumaru, and even Naraku decided not to kill him, and that one...that one is the Shikkon's miko."

This is actually interesting. "The great ex-Lord of the Western Lands and the hanyou's miko?"

Kagura smirks the miko's way. "Not his miko. That title was for someone else." The miko's eyes shoot daggers at them.

"Touchy subject?"

"You have no idea."

"Are you going to talk all day?" The youkai replies, looking bored out of his mind, but his power is spreading, and damn, this is one fight she would rather not have right now...

Things are about to get interesting.

***

Things become chaotic in no time...

One minute he's holding Kagome back, and the next, the witch is attacking.

Sword at hand, Kagome is going through the youkai mercilessly, not thinking twice, though she does turn to look at him from time to time.

It will be her undoing if she doesn't stop it. He wants to shake her and tell her to pay attention to her fight, but it will be pointless.

Many things are pointless with her.

Besides, he doesn't have time for that.

It turns out 'it' is a witch.

A very good witch.

Good enough to harm him, and combined with Kagura…

Why do idiots like Naraku get all the good allies?

"I'm going to kill you!" Kagura spits his way, as she sends another wind attack combined with a fire assault from the witch. He jumps away and prepares to attack. At the same time, Kagome cuts an enemy's throat while launching two knives at a pair of youkai.

He knew her aim with knives would be good. And he has to pay attention because if he doesn't, the two allies will get him and then Kagome will be left alone…

Understanding why it's important for Kagome to not be alone is just something he isn't going to dwell on.

She is…a force of nature, and caring for her happened before he realized it.

He's beginning to think it's too late to stop it.

His claws cut through Kagura's neck, not nearly enough to kill her, but at least there is blood. He prepares to finish her off…

The witch is going for Kagome, disproving his notion that they'd stay together at all times. His calculations of their partnership were wrong, a miscalculation that is now going to be Kagome's doom…

He leaves Kagura instead of killing her, rushing to Kagome.

He pushes her out of harm's way at the last second, where he should be paying attention to what he was doing, before even getting rid of a strong enemy when he had the chance.

It's a stupid thing to do, considering the spell is probably strong enough to hurt him, and it feels like an odd version of the purifying powers miko have. He reflects, as he watches it come towards him, that it can possibly do more than harm him.

Funny, he thought getting killed was just something he couldn't face. Still, as powerful as it is, Sesshoumaru has a chance.

Kagome has none, so he pushes her out of the spells way, putting himself right in the direction of it with no way to block it. A sharp pain suddenly appears in his right arm and stomach, and Sesshoumaru sees an arrow and a big sword at each part.

It seems the remaining enemies saw this moment as a good opportunity to attack.

Quite intelligent on their part. Sesshoumaru would not have given them even that small amount of brain cells.

He must be in deeper pain than he thought because all he can seem to think is _'At least it's not her.'_

He didn't know teammates cared so much for each other.

The rational part of his brain, thank kami for it, tells him that he still needs her, and even if he is to die here, which he doubts, she can feel the shards, and he can't, so she has a better chance of destroying Naraku. That is, of course, if she manages to get away from here and find someone to help her because, really, as powerful as Kagome has gotten, she still has a lot of distance to cover from being able to kill Naraku on her own.

She still needs him.

He can't die.

He can't leave her alone.

***

"Sesshoumaru!" she screams, her voice thundering over all other noises. "Sesshoumaru!" she screams again, voice full of what can only be panic.

She's seeing it in slow motion, how her body is being thrown away from Sesshoumaru and out of the spell's way. She sees the arrow and sword slide into his body, the blood spill out of him, and, god, she can only think _'what an idiot.'_

What the hell was he thinking? Stupid, stupid, stupid, Sesshoumaru. Why the hell did he do something this stupid?

Kagome wants to scream at him until her lungs burn.

"_You have to be strong,__" _he said. _"No one is going to save you now."_ He told her that, at the beginning, with frozen eyes and icy voice. He told her to be strong because she only had herself and she could only rely on her abilities.

The stupid, lying, hypocrite.

If he wasn't about to get hit by a potentially deadly spell, she would smile. She would probably even laugh.

The liar.

She is not alone. She has never been alone since she opened her eyes months ago. He was there, that first time her eyelids opened and she woke up to her new life.

He is here, right now, fighting with her, pushing her out of harm's way, _saving _her…

She is not alone. She has him.

She'll be damned if she loses him.

They are teammates, and teammates stick close and save each other.

Kagome is pulled from her thoughts as she watches a rain of arrows come their way, things finally move in normal timing, and Kagome realizes they will die.

Just as she realizes this, she decides she will not die, and she will most definitely not let Sesshoumaru die.

She allows herself to fall to the ground, and is on her feet so fast it's almost as if she never fell.

And because she is impulsive and stupid and never, ever, thinks about consequences, she runs back to Sesshoumaru, who is about to be hit by a spell and way too many arrows, and holds on to him like he is the only thing keeping her floating, which he is.

"Kagome…" he says, and she can see in his eyes that he can't believe she has done something this stupid. He can't believe she's done this when he pushed her from danger.

Kagome can only feel the dread losing him makes her feel, and she can only pay attention to the ache watching him bleed in front of her causes her.

He killed a child for her. He discovered patience for her. He finds her hot springs and food and is always, _always_, watching over her.

She can't let him die.

"…idiot." Sesshoumaru finishes.

Kagome has the nerve to grin. "I told you…" she simply says, "we're teammates."

And in her book, dying for a teammate is the only reasonable thing to do.

Dying for a friend is not giving your life away at all.

Kagome's hold tightens around Sesshoumaru, and the arrows are about to hit them, she can almost feel them piercing her skin, and that spell is so going to send them to oblivion…

From somewhere unknown, somewhere deep within her, Kagome pulls out knowledge that shouldn't be hers and strength she could only find in a situation like this, and a blue light surrounds them, her miko powers embracing them, protecting her, and she doesn't think once that maybe using miko powers to protect a youkai is a bad idea, doesn't think because she never, ever does …

Doesn't even cross her mind that Sesshoumaru is a youkai, and yes, miko powers do purify him.

She looks directly into Kagura's red eyes. "My name is Kagome," she says. "If you weren't about to die, I'd tell you to remember this."

Pity, after this, the stupid female youkai would never be able to forget her name or what she can do. Don't mess with the only being left she cares about.

She'll protect Sesshoumaru, even if he doesn't want to or doesn't need to or the cost is her life.

The world explodes around her, her miko powers reaching across all her enemies, purifying them, melting the arrows, dispersing the spell…

It hits her then that she is using miko powers, and Sesshoumaru is a youkai…

The grin falls from her face.

'Oh Kami,' she thinks desperately. 'What have I done?'

She doesn't want to look at Sesshoumaru, who she is holding as tightly as she can. She waits for the moment when his body will disappear, purified like the rest of his kin.

Oh Kami, Kami, Kami…what has she done?

Freeing his body from her tight grasp is the reasonable thing to do. Getting him as far away from her is the only hope he has of surviving.

Yet, she can't.

Everything is happening too fast. Letting go will not help. Her powers are expanding, eliminating the small army, and Sesshoumaru is so, so close to her…

Her powers are all over him, surrounding him, everything, stronger than ever before, and it feels so wonderful. Her body feels alive, on fire, her blood is singing and it feels like this is exactly what she was supposed to do from the beginning.

This is her true power.

Kagome ignores it all, pushes it all aside, unwelcoming of the magnificence of this power, instead of taking it all in. She struggles to maintain control, fights to keep it from destroying Sesshoumaru.

But he is youkai, and she is a miko, and her powers are itching to purify every youkai there is.

Her eyelids close and her fists tighten even more around the youkai.

She keeps him against her body as she waits for him to disappear, already knowing that she can't control the amount of power she has let free. Power she didn't even know she possessed.

Tears are forming in her eyes, ready to fall, and god, his body is feeling less solid, and if she opens her eyes, when she opens her eyes…

Will she be holding nothing?

* * *

**So sorry for the long wait...again! School is horrible! Ok, no, I love it, but it's very hard, and it takes a lot of my time, but I try a lot, and I swear I write in all the free times I have, but I'm kind of a perfectionist, so I have to get this chapters right because you deserve it and the characters deserve it, and yeah, you get it. Hehe. I'll try to update better.**


	14. For We Are All Fools

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I know I left you with a horrible cliffhanger, but here is the next chapter! And I know I tell you this a lot, but I AM sorry for the late update. I just have a lot of examns and papers and school work, and there is always so much work to do! But I write every moment I can, and I'm always thinking about what I'll do with this, where it'll go, how I'll surprise you...I've got lots of ideas.

**Oh, this time, no thanks because I have to get back to my homework, but happy Death's day (that is what we celebrate on Mexico, and Happy delayed Halloween!**

**And...**

**This story got nominated by The Inuyasha FanGuild for Best Darkfic/Horror and Best Drama for the Third Quarter of 2009, yey!**

**I'm excited about this, it's such a great honor, and I so never thought I'd be nominated for Best Darkfic/Horror! That is really something unexpected.**

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Fragments of A Shattered Moon

_**For We Are Fools**_

_She was dangerously close to telling him all she was. Dangerously close to letting her secret slip out._

_And she was dangerously close to not caring about him knowing it all. Dangerously close to needing him to know all there was to her._

_She could already see herself be shattered once more._

_But one look at him, and she could not pull the strength to walk away._

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"_I like red on you," her mother tells her as Kagome admires the new shirt she gave her. She has finally finished another year at high school, which is truly an achievement, considering she spent most of the last three years in another era. Gee, she didn't even spend them on a nice beach or something. Chasing after demons, trying not to get killed, and things like that are so not her idea of good vacations. Things that sound like an adventure to others, but are her real life._

_A very tiring, stressful, frightening life._

"_Mom, red is too…" How can she explain to her mother that red is too bright? That it calls too much attention? That a youkai can spot her from miles away with that color? That she is an even easier prey with it on, and no, she will never be able to wear it?_

_She has to wear her uniform to school. She never goes out in her own time because…there is no time. All her spare moments are spent trying to find the shards. She sighs as she looks at her mother's expectant face. "I like it," she finally says. "I think it makes me stand out, but I like how it looks on me." And it truly does look good on her. It makes her less pale, giving her an attractive color._

_She wishes Inuyasha would see her in it._

"_So you'll wear it?"_

_Kagome laughs and smiles brightly at her mother. "Of course, mom."_

_Her mother smiles at her in that calm way. Kagome wonders if her mother knows she is lying, but she has become so good at lying to her that she isn't sure._

_As much as laughing feels alien sometimes, she has to keep the charade. Her mother would die if she told her of all the dangers she goes through. She can't let her worry that much. Besides, it's been almost three years since the shard hunt started. Anytime now, they'll pick up the last pieces. Destroying Naraku after that shouldn't be that difficult._

_Kagome is positive, and a little sad, that her adventures in the Feudal Era won't last much longer. She has no idea what she will do once that is all over. She looks at herself on the mirror, with that pretty red shirt on her, and she tries to remember what a normal life is like._

_And finds out it is impossible, so she lets that go and focuses on making her mother feel better._

_Ms. Higurashi watches as her daughter stuffs her new shirt into her bag, smiles brightly, and goes to jump into the well._

_She is not fooled at all. Th__e shirt will never be used. _

_And as she waves goodbye from the window, she wonders if this is going to be the last time she sees her daughter._

***

As soon as it comes, it goes.

Her eyes are tightly shut.

If she were to open them, she would see nothing left of the army. No weapons. No bodies. Nothing but trees and rocks.

Like just minutes before arrows weren't headed their way and the army wasn't approaching. Like Kagura and that witch had never been here. As if her powers had never been released.

Everything is so…silent.

And in her arms, secure and alive, and oh thank god, thank god, thank god, there's a solid body.

A solid, breathing, warm, body, and kami, she's finally lost her mind because surely, surely, Sesshoumaru got purified, but her brain refuses to believe it.

"Kagome?"

The firm, arrogant voice speaking her name is also part of her imagination. The demand in the question that is more like an order is so familiar, so something she wants to hear, that she is certain she's finally gone delusional.

Great.

Now she will not only hear all her dead friend's voices in her mind. Sesshoumaru's voice will accompany them.

Just what she needed, an arrogant youkai stuck with the jerk of his brother in her mind.

The Universe can be so cruel.

"Kagome?"

Her eyes snap open, going directly to Sesshoumaru's form. His hair is soft under her hands, silky. It comes to her mind that she always wanted to touch it. It feels softer than she could ever imagine. She watches it, silver hairs falling from her hand. It's enchanting, and when his hand goes to her chin and her eyes lock with his golden ones, she is trapped into their intensity, lost without hope, not understanding why he is alive, beyond relieved that he is, unsure of what the warmth she is feeling means…

This is one of those moments that only happen once in a fool's life.

She is such a fool…

"What are you doing?" His voice takes her out of her dizziness.

"Why are you alive?" No one ever said she was careful around what she said.

He cocks his head to the side. It almost brings a giggle out of her; except she is sure it would turn out hysterical. Her body feels so light, and he is alive…

Alive, alive, alive, and her brain refuses to understand this concept because surely, good things don't happen to her.

"You did something." His face is close to hers, and suddenly she can only look at his lips forming the words. His voice is low, rusty, enveloping her….

Alive…

"My miko powers wouldn't hurt you." Her lips are only inches from his, and her brain seems to thinks this is an important fact.

Emotions are taking control of her body, and the relief she feels is unexplainable, but she just knows, if she lost him, if she killed him…

A girl can only mend herself so many times, and she's already done more than expected…

"You wouldn't let them." Oh, that voice…Her heart is pounding hard in her chest. He is the only important thing right now. He, and his completely alive body, his golden eyes anchored on hers, the feel of his hair on her hands and that slightly arrogant, slightly confused voice trying to figure out why, exactly, he is not dead.

The dizziness she feels at having him so close is something she can't explain.

"I didn't know how to stop them. Idon't know what I did." Last time she checked, even Inuyasha got purified by them.

Inuyasha is dead, though. Sesshoumaru is not. It somehow seems important, but she can't quite put her finger on what it is.

Her arms are still tightly around his form. He is still on the ground, and her body is a bit on top of him, protecting him from the world.

Which is stupid, because what can she do to save him?

Why would he need her to save him?

Yet, she did. She still is willing to free whatever powers she seems to posses just so he can continue existing.

"I am above even the nature of your powers."

The moment is broken, and Kagome finally releases him. Actually, she throws him to the ground. Sesshoumaru was…distracted by the fact that he hadn't been purified and was so close to the miko to do anything to avoid such an action.

It is, in his opinion, the only reason why he got tossed to the ground so…ungracefully.

Whoever heard of Lord Sesshoumaru simply being pushed to the ground?

"You idiot!" she screams as she punches his arm as hard as she can, which turns out badly because her hand hurts and he seems painless. This only succeeds in making her angrier. "Wait until I find one of my arrows, or anything pointy. Just you wait!" she snarls his way. "I'm going to make cheese out of you."

"Cheese?"

"Yes, I'm going to put so many holes in your body you will be like cheese."

"Wouldn't it be faster with knives?"

Kagome stops at a halt in her looking and turns to look at him. "Excuse me?"

"Knives would be better for the purpose of making cheese out of me."

Her mouth hangs open. "Are you actually discussing the best ways to make cheese out of you?"

The look he gives her informs her that he won't repeat himself again.

But…

"Sesshoumaru."

"Yes?"

"Only you discuss that."

He gives her a smug look as she sits next to him. The sky is overwhelming above them, vast and untouchable. Tiredness is starting to get to her, but she has to get this out of her system.

"I thought I had killed you." The misery she feels shows in every word, in every cell of her body.

If she had killed him…

"Don't think so highly of yourself."

She glares once more his way. "I was close to purifying you."

"Your powers didn't even tingle."

"They could have."

"They didn't."

But the fear she felt when she realized it was too late to undo whatever it was she had done, the pure, crude despair she felt when she realized she was going to purify him into nothing…

"Are you going to cry?"

"Yes, you dumbass," she snarls. "I thought you'd die."

"That's a cause of tears?"

She pauses, looks at him as if for the first time, and her glare lessens until it is replaced with an amused smile. "You're right. Please, go die." And she makes a point of putting as much distance as she can from him.

She already knows how much is 'too far' for his like, and won't go beyond that limit.

***

Stupidity has never been a part of his qualities.

He knows exactly how close he came to being purified, but he wasn't.

And if he is something, it is practical.

Her powers just…surrounded him, protected him. Death would have come had it not been for her, not that he will ever admit this to anyone.

Still…

Miko powers are meant to destroy youkai, regardless of the feelings the miko may have for the youkai. Kagome's powers…

Seem to obey only her, only her wishes and desires, because they protected when they should kill, and when has that ever been heard off? Why didn't she ever do this for Inuyasha? It is…satisfying, to have her do something for him, only him, and not the disgrace he had for a half-brother.

Nearly touching death must have affected his mind far more than he figured, because there is no way he just thought that.

Not only did her powers not kill him, they destroyed the enemy. They completely purified the demons and their weapons…and anything that threatened them. Did they catch Kagura and the witch? Hopefully.

"We will need to learn more about them."

"Excuse me?" she exclaims loudly. Why is she always so loud? Doesn't she know she doesn't need to scream for him to hear her?

Maybe he just needs to inform her. His mouth opens to enlighten her of his extraordinary hearing when he sees a knife in her hand, and a very determined look on her face.

Maybe making cheese out of him wasn't a joke after all.

Funny, that she would think she could do such a thing. He is Sesshoumaru Taisho, one of the strongest youkai, if not the strongest, and by the look on her face, she doesn't give a damn. He'll train her on not picking fights she can't possibly win later.

"We'll have to train you to use your powers in that way again."

"Are you crazy?"

"No."

"You didn't have to answer."

"You asked."

She said nothing.

"So...the training…"

"Are you kidding me?"

Silence.

"I'd need youkai to practice, and people to attack me, so I can create the…shield, or whatever it is I did."

More silence.

"You can't bring youkai for me to practice with."

Even more.

"No, we are _not_ using you."

More. Silence affects her in the most entertaining ways.

"Of course, I could try without enemies…"

More of it.

"Ok, it's not a good idea."

"You do realize you are having a conversation with yourself?"

"Of course not. I'm talking to you."

"That would require me talking back."

"..."

"Which I am not doing."

"…"

"And will not do."

"You do realize you are having a conversation with yourself?"

"…"

"…"

"So," Sesshoumaru says after a long pause. Being with her is slowly, or rather quickly, destroying his sanity. "Practice."

"Is there no way around it?"

"No."

"We could do without it."

"Kagome, do not be foolish."

"But…"

"We'll move from here and then begin."

"Have I told you I hate you?"

"No."

"I hate you."

He smirks. Kagome feels like smacking him, but that won't go well. She eyes the knife on her hand before deciding not to pursue that idea.

He is alive when he should, by all rights, be dead. She's not willing to push her luck.

And damn it all, when did she start caring so much about his well being? When did worrying about him become instinct rather than something to be thought of?

***

"Fuck you."

"My, my, that's not a nice thing to say, especially after I saved your life."

Kagura glares at Atsuki. Dying would have been better than owing her life to her. "Idiot."

Atsuki stands. "We should get going." She states simply. There are no traces of weariness on her. If her army was completely destroyed and she survived simply because she recognized the same raw power Mali had, she doesn't show it.

Inside, she is trembling like jelly.

Mali was strong and determined, her powers always under control, and with knowledge of what they could do. And even after years of training, they never came close to what she witnessed today. Miko powers purify. They never protect. That youkai should be dead, just like the rest of her army, just like she should be.

That miko…

"Naraku isn't going to like this."

Kagura's nails pierce her palms. Atsuki watches the blood drip from them.

"This is not…" But what words can they say to describe just how much trouble this will be? How much it endangers everything Naraku has accomplished? "Good."

Atsuki swears one day she'll burst into flames with the looks Kagura gives her.

"We have to report."

"Of course. Shall we begin?"

Both women slowly started making their way back to their master. There is no hurry. The news they carry is bad, terrible, really, and Naraku tended to overreact… Except there was nothing to overreact to.

Mali is somewhere, a powerful miko with every intention of bringing Naraku down. The rebellion is growing stronger, and no matter how many youkai and hanyou they send to destroy them, it's not enough. They have no idea of where they are.

And now Sesshoumaru…

Sesshoumaru and that miko... Kagome, because after this it is essential they remember her name, have formed an alliance.

If any of the groups ever encountered…

Kagura and Atsuki don't hurry back to Naraku.

They already know the pain that awaits them.

The smell of unshed blood and future war burns their nostrils.

Every muscle in their bodies tenses with anticipation.

***

"I thought I said you couldn't bring youkai for me to train with?"

Three days. It's been three days since the attack, three horrible days of training. The stupid silver haired youkai decided looking for the shards could wait until she got a hold of her miko powers and she's been training nonstop.

No hurry to kill Naraku, after all. He's almost immortal, so he won't go dying on them anytime soon.

At least, that´s what Kagome thinks Sesshoumaru meant when she asked, and he simply shrugged.

She even has to wake up before the sun begins to rise. Not even the birds do that.

So now she knows she can make a shield that will purify or rebound any attack coming her way. The shields can grow as big as she wants, but they take too much energy from her. And not only can she purify youkai, anything that's solid seems to now simply disappear if she wants it to. Oh, and she can use her hands to create this…balls or purifying energy, which make her think of all the anime her brother likes to watch. No throwing them, though, she can only keep them in her hand. She guesses her brother would not be impressed because of this, but releases that train of thought. No use in thinking about it, especially when she will most likely never be there to disappoint him.

All in all, her miko powers seem to have gone crazy because they definitely shouldn't be able to do this, and most importantly, they should purify Sesshoumaru.

Which they don't. She actually has to concentrate to hurt him with them.

Go figure.

Sesshoumaru is enjoying this way too much.

He would do great in the military, with all that power and will to torture anyone who has potential.

It's even worse than her first training because she has to spar with him after her miko training. She always ends up on the ground. Maybe she should just learn to use her powers to shield herself from him.

Oh, the picture of Sesshoumaru rebounding from the shield would so make her life…

"You need to train on an enemy."

Kagome sighs. Foolish dreams are not for her.

Some months ago, she would never have agreed to kill just to get a hang on her powers, now…

It is necessary that she master this.

The ability to twist her miko powers so that they can create a shield around her body while destroying the enemy is a weapon they can't _not _deal with. That said, having this shield also protect Sesshoumaru is indispensable. Ignorance is out of the question. Besides, it's not that difficult. Granted they had a few accidents (lots of screams and purifying, and Sesshoumaru having to intercede so weapons wouldn't go through her body). The ex-Lord is very glad they decided to train before attempting to use the shield on him. It seems Kagome can control it and the miko powers refrain from killing him, but they still burn him, especially when she is upset. Which has been for the last three days. Maybe she has mastered her miko powers and just wants to harm him.

The youkai before them attacks. It tried to run away, but Sesshoumaru brought him back, and now he seems to think his only way out is by fighting. What he doesn't realize is that there is no escaping. He's been sentenced to death from the moment Sesshoumaru found him.

The demon's dagger goes straight for Kagome. She expands her powers.

Not soon enough.

That sharp dagger is going to go though her body…

And the youkai falls dead.

"Uh…"

"Still need more practice?"

Kagome's eyes are on his left arm. He follows her gaze at it.

Oh.

The dagger went straight into Sesshoumaru´s arm, and blood is falling…

Her voice pierces his already beaten ears. "Damn it, why the hell did you do that?"

He says nothing as he pulls the dagger out. No sound at all. Kagome can only see the red, and…

She goes to her backpack, which she will soon have to throw away. The poor thing is falling apart. She throws things out if it, tossing them all around, while Sesshoumaru watches her as his arm bleeds. After nearly two years without going back to the future, she is down to almost nothing. Finally, she finds the bottle she was looking for. As she takes it out, she stops, hesitates, and then pulls some red cloth from her bag.

There is a moment in which Kagome stops, as if trapped between two worlds.

God, she hasn't seen it in such a long while…

Some prevailing part in her rushes the miko back to Sesshoumaru's side.

Slowly, so as not to hurt him more, she takes his shirt off. She gulps when she realizes what she is doing, astounded that he is letting her, stunned by how she could ever forget how muscled and lean and perfect his body is…Such thoughts should _never_ be on her mind, but…

Well, it's not her fault he has such a good body. You would have to be blind not to notice. Oh, how she wishes she was blind!

Will thinking these thoughts of Inuyasha's brother send her to hell?

Would he even care?

Probably not.

"It will heal," he says as her hand traces his arm from the shoulder to where the wound is. She hadn't even realized she had moved.

"Shut up." She glares, forcing her eyes away from his abs and to his face. "Don´t you have any sense at all?"

"It's only a dagger."

Trust Sesshoumaru to think a dagger through his arm is nothing. "Idiot," she says. "Moron." Just to emphasize.

It escapes her that Sesshoumaru has only ever allowed her to talk to him this way. Not even Rin was allowed to, though she never was this impertinent….His arm stings and he pulls it away from her, only she is having none of that.

"Sorry, it'll burn."

"Stating a fact does nothing to make it better"

She rolls her eyes. "It's only alcohol." She ran out of hydrogen peroxide some months ago. She stocks the bottle away and rips the red clothing, wrapping it around his now clean wound.

"It'll close in a few seconds."

She is looking at the ground. "I know."

"Then why?"

"It'll make me feel better."

"Why would I want you to feel better?"

Her eyes pierce him. "I'll train harder," she says, completely avoiding his question.

He doesn't have the capacity to understand how her mind works, so he simply nods his head. He touches the fabric, different from anything he's ever known…

"Don't put yourself in harm's way anymore."

"It's inevitable."

At this pace, he'll get used to her glare.

"Why? Why the hell do people have to get hurt?" she screams. "Even at home…" This time a pained whisper, "Why do people always get hurt?"

It takes him by surprise. She yells at him one minute, only to look after his safety, and then she's back at sadness. For the life of him, Sesshoumaru doesn't have an answer to her questions. Decades of living have not given him the knowledge needed to understand why people get hurt. He only has theories.

"Where are you from?" he asks instead.

"I asked first, so you should answer first."

"Why?"

"It's a rule."

"Who made it?"

She glares once more.

"Where are you from?"

Peace doesn't exist on this world. It never has. Even before Naraku, every village knew to expect death any time, so why doesn't she? What makes her so much more…naïve to the dangers that have always existed?

Kagome laughs, bitter and sad, as she shakes her head. "That's one hell of a story."

"Will you tell me?" Asking for things is something he's not used to. He normally receives whatever he wishes for, regardless of anything and anyone.

With her, nothing goes according to plan.

Kagome turns her back to him. "We should set camp."

"They say before you can feel happiness, you have to feel pain." He supposes he will one day be very happy, considering the amount of pain he has faced. Kagome sends him a nasty look before turning her back to him. "That's why people get hurt." He says, loud enough for her to hear. She stops for a mere second before continuing to walk away.

***

_There they are… her dreams._

Shattered.

Broken.

Stepped on.

Destroyed.

_There they are… her illusions._

Laughed at.

Twisted.

Ripped into thousands of pieces.

Ignored.

_Here she is._

Forgotten.

Left alone.

Abandoned.

Walked all over.

_And there he is._

Still strong.

Still powerful.

Still arrogant.

Still the Lord he was born as. Still the youkai he's always been, and she can't help but feel impressed.

She gets it now.

He's lost so much and been through unimaginable things, yet he still manages to look untouched.

Kagome wants so much to be like him. She wants the ability to wake up every morning and be as naïve and innocent as she was the first time she fell through the well. Kagome's eyes inevitably fall on Sesshoumaru. He's looking at the fire he started, calm and collected like always. His face is secured. His eyes shine with the fire. It's unbelievable, how easy it is for her to care for him, how much she does, in such a small amount of time.

If Inuyasha had never crossed her path, would she have fallen for him? Would she have fallen with the cold youkai with eyes like a storm? Would she have loved Sesshoumaru instead of Inuyasha?

Would her love for him be as painful?

She laughs at the thought. No matter how much she cares for him, it's too far away from what she felt for Inuyasha. Even pretending to compare what she felt for Inuyasha to what she feels for Sesshoumaru leaves her mouth tasting dry, like ashes.

The piercing she feels at her heart every time she thinks of Inuyasha refuses to fade. The complete shattering she feels when thinking of losing Sesshoumaru is only there because she doesn't want to be alone.

There is no other reason. She won't let another reason exist. After months of training and living on the edge of dying, it's only natural for her to feel so strongly about Sesshoumaru. It's normal. It is not love. It's not nearly strong enough, not even friendship, and the idea can definitely be laughed at. No way, not in a million years, would she ever fall in love with the white haired youkai.

Sesshoumaru and Kagome? Yeah, might as well ask Naraku to kill himself while they are at it.

Yet caring for him is now something she does without thinking.

When she said they should be teammates, she didn't really mean they should care so much for each other. He pushed her out of harm's way, his life at the line with this action every time, and yet he never stops. She owes him so much…

"Thank you." It comes out of her mouth without her even thinking, and when Sesshoumaru's golden eyes turn to her, she gulps.

'_Stupid, stupid, stupid.'_

"What for?" Sesshoumaru's voice is bored, but she can hear the edge of interest others would have missed. It's a step closer into their…relationship, whatever weird thing they have going between them.

At least he doesn't ignore her anymore. Definitely an improvement.

"Are you going to answer my question?" Impatience surrounds every word he says.

Kagome opens her mouth just to close it again.

How can she begin to answer his question?

She thinks of a few answers…

_´Thank you for bringing me back to life.'_

'_Thanks for teaching me how to fight.'_

'_My eternal gratitude to you __for showing me how to use my miko powers, even if it was by accident.'_

'_Bless you for not leaving me alone.'_

'_Thanks. Just thanks.'_

Nothing is enough. He's done so much for her that she has no way to ever thank him enough. He didn't even have a reason to do all these things for her. Being a shard detector is just not enough reason to help her this much.

To take care of her like he does.

If he wasn't Sesshoumaru, she'd say he cared for her as more than mere allies.

When she had nothing left, when her world crumbled around her, when it was all over...

He was there.

He gave her strength to continue, and she doesn't know why he even bothered. She'll probably never know. No words come out of her mouth because they are dry on it, and she can't express herself, and…

"You're welcome," he says, and Kagome nods her head before turning her eyes to the stars above her.

Life is full of many turns…

This is the perfect example of one of those things she never thought would happen.

Because Sesshoumaru understands her even better than Inuyasha, and he knows what she wants to say or express before even she does.

Isn't that beautiful?

She smiles, and for the first time since this craziness started, it's not filled with sadness. It's not haunted. The taste of bitterness is gone. There is no pain.

The red cloth on his arm catches her attention. That is her last connection to her real home. A red cloth is all she has left of the future she was born into.

"Sesshoumaru…"

"Yes?"

But it's not the time.

Just a few more days without him knowing where she's from. Mere hours are all she asks for. Then, after she has her moments in peace, she'll tell him.

The story of the girl from the future who thought she could fix the past.

"Nothing."

* * *

**There it is! Yey! Oh, the next chapter is already with one of my editors, and I'm already writing chap. 16, so I hope you don't have to wait nearly as long. Bare with me, I have one more month of school before vacations, and then I'm all yours. Oh, and review! Review, review, review! Your reviews make my say, and you do want to make me happy, right? (Imagine puppy eyes)**

* * *


	15. Let Me Tell You a Story

**My dear readers,**

**I know. I have not uploaded fast enough, even if I do try. But it seems Veterinary is getting tougher. Now, don't get me wrong, I love it all, but it does consume a lot of time. Regardless, I will continue to do my best, because I adore this story, and you deserve the best. And winter break is coming (which means two whole months of no school), so I will finally (and I do need this because this story is really not letting me focus), get some quality time to write.**

**Love you all, and thank you for keeping up with this and my horrible update times.**

**Thanks to...**

**AllySan- Más que un gran poder (que si tiene), no es que sus sentimientos se amolden a sus poderes. Es mas como que...con Inuyasha, él era todo para ella, pero con Sesshoumaru, ellos son todo, el uno para el otro. Y muchas gracias por esperar! Jaja, ahora si espero poder subir los capítulos más rápido.**

**AngelofMist - Oh, poor Sesshoumaru! He will have to tolerate her a lot more, haha, but I think he is beginning to like it.**

**xokaggyfanox - Oh my, reviews like you just elevate me. Thanks for your comments, of course I loved them. I know Kagome should learn more combat. She'll get better as the story goes on. Sadly, in this case, practice makes perfect.**

**The Sacred Tree . I must confess, for one crazy, cruel moment, I did thought about leaving Sesshoumaru seriously wounded, but then I thought, 'What wuould happen if Kagome could protect him? If her powers molded, just so this once, almost as a gift, she could save him?' And of course, then I thought, 'It's never happened, because he is a youkai and she is a miko, and they should destroy each other, but she is Kagome, and he is Sesshoumaru, and it never goes the way it should.' So, Kagome can protect him, and I'm sure I'll be abke to use this a lot in the future.**

**Sesshoumaru's Filly - Wow, I'd never gotten the word epic. Thanks a lot!**

**uchihacutie - I started with way too many feelings, and way too many things happening, and I killed...pretty much everyone. But it hsa gotten lighter, with it's dark parts because it is that kind of story, but I'm really glad you are enjoying it.**

**

* * *

Fragments of a Shattered Moon**

_**Let Me Tell You a Story**_

_Let me tell you a story. Let me bare my soul, and when I'm finished, let me walk away._

_You will already have all that is me.

* * *

_

This should have been an easy day. Torture a few youkai, kill a couple more, stop to eat, kill again, keep moving towards the last shard, and find a quiet place to sleep.

They left the forest two days ago. All around them were mountains with no vegetation and a lot of caves. Holes and holes and holes leading to dark caves filled with potential danger. They tried to sleep in one on the first night. Kagome said it would be a nice change, especially since the temperature had started to lower and it looked like it might rain. This could only mean hail. Ice falling on Sesshoumaru's head was not something he ever looked forward to, so, against his better judgment, because he already knew it would be a horrible idea to even stand close to the caves, they picked one to rest in.

The result was Kagome screaming in the middle of the night while Sesshoumaru quickly moved to kill the giant spider trying to eat her, and then both of them fighting the rest of the nest.

He would never tell her, but he had waited until she felt the spider upon her to do something. After all, he had warned her, and she had refused to listen.

It was her rightful punishment.

Besides, her reaction amused him.

"They're just spiders." He had said.

Her most hateful glare found its way to him. "_Giant spiders."_ She corrected, each word a mixture of fear and disgust.

"Just insects." He'd said while inspecting his claws and stepping on a smaller one. The crack it made had Kagome's face contract into a grimace.

She had thrown a rock his way, which he had efficiently avoided. Deciding he needed to suffer, she started to move towards him, intending to hit him or something, as if, and had ended up tangled with her own feet and falling. A baby spider had made its way to her back, which of course caused the young miko to scream until he sighed and took the spider from her.

At least he was always amused.

Of course, after these events, she should have considered never to step into the caves again. The dangers they held were nothing for Sesshoumaru, but Kagome…

He wouldn't sleep, even if he needed it after two weeks of guard. With so many holes filed with the possibilities of a threat, it was simply unquestionable.

She could find danger by simply breathing.

Risking getting into another cave was _not_ an option.

He'd told her from that day, voice fierce and growling that they would never step into the caves again. Unfortunately, Kagome was the only being that never even considered listening to his orders, let alone follow them.

He'd gone for water while she scanned the area and set camp. It took him only ten minutes to go back and forth, going faster than usual because he felt uneasy leaving her on her own in that place.

He should have guessed the temptation of the caves would be too much for her, which led them to their current position.

***

She should have listened to him.

The first time she went into the caves, stupid, _giant_, spiders tried to eat her. They crawled towards her sleeping area, and Sesshoumaru just let them come to her.

Maybe he does want her to suffer a cruel, slow death.

Or maybe he just likes the sound of her screams.

Whichever, she truly should start listening to what he says, if only once in a while. Going into any cave you know nothing about is just a horrible idea not to be considered. Ever.

"Just…calm down." Kagome tells the kid youkai in front of her, trying her best to sound convincing and not threatening. It may go better if her arrow wasn't oozing with purifying powers and pointed at his head. She can sense he means no harm. He probably lost his whole family because of Naraku and was left alone to survive on his own. It's a miracle he's alive or still so…capable of looking terrified and innocent and, well, defenseless. His hair looks gray, though it's probably because of all the dirt in it, and his brown eyes are filled with dread.

He almost reminds her of Shippo the first time she saw him, just a small child in a big world looking for someone to take care of him.

Just a year ago, she would have kneeled down in front of him and offered him sugar or something, eyes warm, arms spread, and Inuyasha glaring his way.

Now, you can never be too sure.

The kid doesn't calm down. If anything, he looks even more terrified and trembles harder. He takes a look behind him, almost as if expecting something to come get him. Kagome wonders if he is thinking of taking of running until she sees the expression on his face. It seems he's more scared of going inside than of her.

"Look, kid…" She starts again, and those brown eyes shot back to hers. They're big and watery, and damn it, this kid is no danger to her, but the arrows doesn't loosen steadiness as it points to his head. "I don't want to hurt you, but I can't trust you, so why don't you tell me what you're doing here?"

The kid's mouth opens and shuts, and finally he speaks. "I got lost."

Well, duh, that's obvious. She raises her eyebrow to him. "Really?"

"I was…they sent me to scout, but Na…" He stops there and looks at her with distrust. "I was attacked."

"Scouting?" Why would he need to scout? Who is he scouting for?

"You're a miko, right?" He says again. His voice sounds almost like a girl. Just how old is he?

She hesitates, contemplating if answering is good or not, but considering she is about to purify him, it's more like a confirmation than anything else. "Yes."

"Then…you can't be…I mean, he's trying to exterminate you, so you can't…"

Extermination, she thinks, is not a word he should know at his age. They would be proud of him, back at the future. Can he spell it? That would definitely gain him a medal. "Kid, I can't read minds, so start talking before I lose my patience."

"Are you going to kill me?"

_'No.' _She thinks. "I haven't decided." Is what her voice responds.

He sighs, admitting defeat. "I was running away from Naraku's youkai. You're a miko, so you can't be on his side, but if you are…just get it over with." His watery eyes are gone, and now they stare fiercely at her. They're demanding, and she's once more reminded of Shippo, always trying to prove he could be useful.

"How do I know you're not lying?"

Now his eyes are hard, cold, and full of hatred. "I would never be with him. He destroyed all I had. He left me with nothing, and if you're going to torture me to get information on my friends, well, you can just kill me. I won't speak."

And Kagome laughs. "Kid, you've just told me you have friends, which is valuable information, and if I was with Naraku, you'd already have said too much." The arrow lowers, and her hand goes to her hip. "Fortunately for you and your friends, I'm not with him. Tell me, why did they let such an inexperienced kid scout? Maybe your friends aren't that smart."

Internally, Kagome is surprised she can talk like this. She's even more surprised that the words she says are true. She used to be that boy. She used to be the one that talked too much. The kid has no idea that a big, powerful youkai is with her. He knows nothing of her except that she's a miko and can kill him any second. The progress she has made leaves a bittersweet taste in her mouth. She is both sad and proud. She never wanted to become this. Knowing what it took to be a rebel (only in this time would being against Naraku turn her into a rebel), to know about war, the sacrifices and the protocol, and the guts to actually do whatever it takes to survive and fulfill her purpose.

This kid is just learning. The painfully young youkai in front of her is just like her the first time she landed in this Era, trying, but not really aware of how much of his heart will rip by the things he is yet to do.

"I'm small, and I'm not that powerful. I don't call that much attention."

Which, in other words, make him perfect for scouting. He can gather information, and if he's killed, it won't affect whatever group he is with much.

Seems they know what they're doing.

She was wrong about him.

He knows all about it. It's written on his gaze that he's been sent here because he can be killed, and it won't be that important. He's struggling to accept it.

Just like that, it breaks her heart just a tiny bit more.

"How do I know you're not lying?" He retorts, showing his small fangs.

Kagome smirks. "I'm not torturing you, am I?" she smiles his way. "And I _am _a miko, which puts me on his bad list."

The kid thinks this through, and finally nods his head. "Okay…" But before he can say anything more, a sound echoes from the cave, and if he was trembling when she was pointing her arrow at him, he has now become jelly.

She narrows her eyes. "You're being followed."

He gulps and nods. "I thought I lost them, but…"

They must have trapped him in one of the caves, followed him inside, and somewhere along the way the kid had outrun them, only to face Kagome.

Whatever was following him has now become her problem, too.

Sesshoumaru is so never going to let this one go.

'_Great __going, Kagome.'_ She thinks. _'You just had to go look for more trouble, didn't you?'_

She hates internal talks with herself, who obviously got the self-preservation skills. It's clearly telling her not to engage whatever is coming, but of course, being her, she doesn't attempt to listen.

"Get behind me." She simply orders the boy, who looks beyond surprised that she's not going to leave him there to die. She rolls her eyes. "It's about time I got to kill for saving someone other than myself." And Sesshoumaru, but that is another completely different matter.

The boy doesn't wait to be asked twice, and he positions himself behind her.

"I hope you're powerful." He simply says. "Or we'll die."

Kagome laughs. He is such a brat. How dare he tell her this when she is trying to help him? Where the hell are his manners? Wasn't he trembling because of her just a few minutes ago?

Kids these days…no better than back at home.

"Oh, trust me". She says, "This will be easy."

And just as she is beginning to convince herself that this will turn out good, she senses twenty five bloodthirsty, much more powerful youkai than she anticipated. They have no probability of getting away before they catch up; they're moving too fast and will arrive any minute. Shielding their bodies is no option. She can only do that with Sesshoumaru. This child would get purified in no time. Kagome gulps and allows her powers to go into the arrow.

It seems she will have to fight a much more powerful enemy than she anticipated.

They're getting closer, the feel of their powers increasing. Damn it all, they just _have_ to be the strongest enemies she's had to face. Minus Kagura and Naraku.

"Just who exactly are you with?" She asks the boy, who is on the verge of collapsing from pure fear.

He smirks despite it all. "I'm with the largest group against Naraku." Which explains why he has such powerful youkai behind him.

And wait a minute, did he say group against Naraku? Kagome shakes her head.

'_Not now.'_ She thinks. _'Later'._

"They shouldn't have let you go."

"Hey, I can protect myself."

Kagome snorts and turns to reply to him, but her head shots back to the front as she feels their arrival. Much more strong a feeling now that they're before her. All of them strong enough to pose in human forms.

Sesshoumaru is going to kill her.

"What have we got here?" One of the says, presumably the leader. He looks her up and down, his eyes scanning every bit of her skin. The other follow suit, and it becomes clear that now that they've found the boy and this female, they intent to have some fun. She feels naked even fully clothed, and she's so happy she's not wearing her school skirt…

"Now, now. A mere human like you shouldn't play with shiny objects." He sneers. "Why don't you put that down?"

Power obviously not always comes with a brain.

"I don't think so." She says, and just to emphasize, she allows them to feel her powers, and what she is. "Make a move, and I will purify you." She would really like to purify him.

The nerve of him to talk and eye her like that. She can think of a place on his anatomy she would like to start with, just to get him to scream before dying. Though beyond her strength, she is very, very scared. There's a possibility, even with how good she is now, that she'll die 're too manyand she's just one, and she has the kid to consider. Besides, using her miko powers in the new ways she's learned make her tired in an alarmingly fast rate.

The leader doesn't look so smug anymore, though, especially not with the idea of being purified. She allows herself a mental victory dance, just in case it's her last.

He snarls and turns to two of his youkai.

"Kill them."

"But…the information."

"Kill. Them."

Two of the subordinates start advancing towards them fast, fast, fast….

The first one never makes it to her. The arrow flies through the air and hits him not ten feet from where he was, purifying him instantly. But the other one makes it to her, sword in hand and ready to cut her head off. It goes directly to her neck, and Kagome pushes the boy out away from her and shields herself. The sword makes it to her neck before the shield is ready, and is purified before it can harm her, but a thin line of blood appears close to her jugular. The youkai looks surprised, and Kagome takes advantage of this and draws her sword out, efficiently going through his chest.

Sword in hand, purifying powers on the other, she faces her enemy.

"Trust me." She says. "You don't want to engage me. Just by touching me you will be purified."

Which is a lie. She can create the shield, which is a no-no for now, and her hands can make orbs of miko power, but not every part of her body will be covered, and with the number of them, and the power they have, she'll probably lose her energy before she gets them all.

She'll have to try, though. She has to…

She wishes she could see Sesshoumaru before dying.

Three more youkai advance, but before she can even think of throwing out knives or making any move, they fall dead.

Kagome blinks, and when her eyes open a fraction of a second later, she stares at the bow presented her way and her savior.

"I leave you for ten minutes, and you manage to get in trouble?" A deep voice says, chastising her in every word.

Kagome is to relieved to take offense. She takes the bow from his hands and once more points an arrow at their enemies. "Shut up." She sighs, the gratitude there for him to hear.

"And who is he?" Sesshoumaru doesn't know why he is impressed that she's here with a young youkai and too many powerful enemies before her.

He's also not allowing himself to think of what would have happened had he not arrived on time. He makes a note to never, ever, leave Kagome alone and proceeds to burrow the concern he feels at just the thought of her being in danger. The anger he feels at the youkai that tried to hurt her stays right in place, though.

No one will ever harm her, not if he's there to prevent it, and he'll always be there.

His eyes catch to the blood at her throat and has to restrain not to growl and kill them all right then and there. The strong sense of protection he feels is something he never expected, never would have thought himself capable of. He will never admit it, but he's shaken to the very bone to find out just how much she means to him.

Not in fear, of course. A frightened Sesshoumaru is just ridiculous.

"We're going to help him."

"Really?"

"Yes."

He raises a brow but says nothing. She's already in that mood where she will not listen to him and proceed to do unreasonable things. Like helping potentially threatening strangers and nearly getting herself killed.

But because she wants to and the smell of her blood is in the air, he will follow her wishes.

Just this time.

It can't hurt.

It means nothing.

He's just flattering her so she won't cause more trouble.

And if he repeats these things to himself, he just might believe it.

His attention goes back to her form. She's already pointing a new arrow at the stupid youkai who should have stayed away from her. "Aren't you scared?" It suddenly occurs to him that she's too calm for the situation they're in tight now.

She rolls her eyes at him, almost looking at him as if he was dumb. Anyone else would already be dead, but it's her, and he can't kill his shard detector, his…her. He can't kill her.

All bad things aside, she has excellent luck because dumb coming from her is just no disrespect in his mind.

"Of course I am." She states, like it is something obvious, but she hides her weariness too well. Her arrow doesn't shake. Her body shields the small youkai that for once is not their enemy as Sesshoumaru lazily stands at her side.

They should really stop picking up fights when they're outnumbered 20 to 1. Of course, explaining this to Kagome is not an option, and since she now almost dominates her new techniques…

Almost being the key word. He can see she's already tired, and she most probably hasn't been fighting that long. He frowns at this, and makes a note to ask her later. He locks eyes with her, silently telling her this is not their fight. She simply glares his way, and Sesshoumaru wonders if he should have taught her manners before fighting skills. The intensifying glare confirms his suspicion.

Fine, he'll just kill them all and get this over with.

"Of course I'm scared." He can see it in her eyes, in the way her smell changes just slightly. "But being scared is not reason enough to not do the right thing." She says, eyes back on the enemy, determined, ready to kill anyone that dares move. "And he's my new friend." She says, almost as an afterthought. A small, playful, daring smile graces her lips.

Sesshoumaru's eyes dance over her, taking in her arrogant stand and determination. She hasn't known the kid for more than ten minutes, and yet here she is, ready to throw her life away for him.

Because it's right.

Because she's decided ten minutes is enough to make him an ally.

Ah yes, having a goal befits her.

***

Some minutes after, lots of bloodshed, and ten purified youkai later, Kagome and

Sesshoumaru stare at what is left of their enemies.

The leader, whose eyes had traveled over Kagome's body, is now being questioned, more like tortured, by Sesshoumaru. A crack fills the cave, and Kagome turns to see his body fall.

"No useful information?" She asks.

The boy is outside where Kagome sent him before the real fighting began. He hasn't tried to come back inside, which she is grateful for.

"They were sent to destroy any youkai they found that would not join Naraku. They found the boy scouting and thought he would lead them to more…rebel youkai."

"Mmmm."

"We have to talk to the boy."

"By talking…" She fixes him with the look that clearly says _'don't even think about stabbing him with those claws of yours,'_ "You do mean just talking?"

For a brief moment, he almost tells her he means torturing, just to see what she would do, but she's very tired and in any moment will fall to her feet exhausted. He doesn't feel inclined to disturb her just now.

"Yes."

Her whole face brightens. "Good. Then let's go speak with him so we can get some rest."

***

Getting words from him shouldn't be this difficult.

Even his name is something he refuses to tell them. He says he's already given them too much information, and to please not make him say any names. He doesn't know theirs, something Sesshoumaru was very clear they would not tell them, so it seems fair.

But he's not telling anything else, either.

"Look, kid," Kagome tries for the hundred time. "Just tell us something about this rebel group."

The kid looks at her pointedly.

'Oh,' her mind provides. 'so _now _he is brave.'

Perhaps protecting him and calling him a friend wasn't such a good idea. She should have left it at something like 'Brat, I'm saving you so I can torture whatever information I need later from you.' Or maybe she should just leave him a few seconds with Sesshoumaru. At least the older youkai seems to frighten him. Kagome sighs and tries one more time. She swears she's going to let Sesshoumaru have him if he doesn't…

"Start speaking before my patience wears out." Sesshoumaru's cold voice says.

The kid visibly gulps and looks at her, but her attention is on Sesshoumaru, asking him with her eyes exactly what he's planning on doing. His golden eyes return her gaze, cold to everyone but her, and she can read in them that no harm will come to the kid. An unspoken promise understood only by them, and Kagome steps aside and lets him take control.

"Sorry, kid." She tells the young youkai. "It seems you'll have to deal with him now."

The skin on his face pales dramatically, his brown eyes widen, and she swears his body temperature has just dropped. He looks at her frantically, begging for help as Sesshoumaru steps closer to him.

Really, it's not even as if Sesshoumaru is glaring. He's merely looking bored, like he does most of the time.

"I…"

Mmm, who would have thought? One Sesshoumaru works better than twenty-five angry youkai for breaking into people. How unfair. He doesn't even have to try.

"Yes?"

"I…"

He flexes his hands.

"I…"

Takes a step closer.

"I…"

Narrows his eyes just the tiniest bit…

The boy breaks.

"I'm with this assembly…we're the largest against Naraku. We can't do much more than defend ourselves, but it's a start, and there are other smaller groups. I wasn't scouting. I had to go talk to one of the leader's group. We're trying to bring everyone together, gather more people so that maybe…"

"…"

The child gulps, and Kagome almost takes pity on him. Almost. Sesshoumaru is sending her that _'I'm going to make life a living hell if you say _something' kind of look. Last time he sent her that look he refused to find her hot springs for a week. She likes to stay as clean as she can, thank you very much.

"Maybe we could…" Then, finally, the kid remembers that his life is not as important as his group's secrets. He glares at her, obviously deciding glaring at the other youkai is not wise. "Why do you care?" He manages to say before tightening his mouth in an 'I'm not going to say another word'.

Sesshoumaru stares at him for what seems like forever before finally speaking again. "We're going to kill Naraku." He states simply.

"And destroy the stupid pearl." Kagome adds.

The kid opens his mouth to probably say something stupid, so Kagome is faster.

"Go."

Just like that, the kid is running away from him as fast as he can.

"Nice kid." She says. "Hey!"

Sesshoumaru is already moving away, finding a spot to set camp. "Don't stay behind." He calls to her, and against Kagome's better judgment, she runs to catch up.

***

The miko is beyond exhausted. The fight they had some hours ago has taken much of her energy, and they had to walk a good distance to find a good place to lay camp on. She's playing with that necklace again, something she seems to do when she has something on her mind. She's been doing that a lot, lately. It's beginning to get on his nerves. Surely, her thinking this much can lead to no good. Her hand reaches towards him and closes around it. Her big, blue eyes look at their hands before reaching for his eyes.

"You saved me again." she says, voice filled with wonder.

"I'm always going to save you." It pops out of his mouth with a natural ease, and as much as the statement nears too much to a feeling he can't understand, it's the truth.

He won't run away from the truth, and as long as he is near her, he will always save her. There is no option for him.

Kagome's eyes darken, filled with emotion and turmoil. There is a storm in them, captivating him and drawing him near. "I know." Her voice sounds hoarse.

Without a thought, she takes the necklace and secures it around his neck. It's such an out of the blue movement that Sesshoumaru does nothing to stop her.

The metal feels a bit warm against his neck. The chain is long, longer than necessary. His fingers trace the chain until they finally reach the locket, and he is about to snap it open when her hands stop him.

"It has a picture of Inuyasha and…me." She says, eyes downcast, both hands around his, and voice filled with something between sadness, shyness, and almost anger. Only she could put these emotions together.

For reasons beyond his understanding, this bothers him.

"I don't want it."

She gives him that half smile with the distant look in her eyes. "It's not a gift."

"…"

A sigh escapes her, and he can clearly imagine her thinking how difficult, annoying, and frustrating he is. Her hands are still on his, their warmth sending chills down his spine. It occurs to him that he shouldn't react to her like this, but then she is talking, and his attention wanders back to her words.

"You have a better chance of surviving this." She says, already counting it as a fact.

Anger makes way inside his body."No." He says, even if it is true. She is but a mere human, and he is one of the most powerful youkai, and of course he has a better chance of surviving than her. He will survive. So will she. "You won't die." There's security in the statement because he is Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands, or ex-Lord. He is his father's son, even if he doesn't want to be, and she will live. It shocks him, how strongly he means it. How much he is willing to protect her.

He killed Rin, but killing her, killing Kagome…

Somewhere along the way, he decided she wasn't going to die, not by the enemy, not by his hand. He wants her to live, if only because she's the only one left who can understand all they've lost. He wants her to live because…

Because…

Because it is his wish, and that should be enough, he finally decides. There's no use in complicating his wishes.

"Maybe…" she says, eyes even more distant, as if they were thinking of times hundreds of years away.

That's impossible. She's human, and they don't measure time the same way a youkai, or even a hanyou. They don't live long enough to see the world change because of their actions. They don't understand just how different a couple of hundred of years change the world.

"Maybe I'll survive it all, and we'll kill Naraku, and after all is done and over with, I'll still be alive."

"You will."

Now the smile is directed at him, and it's not distant, but present. Her hands are still on his.

He hadn't realized just how midnight blue her eyes are.

"Ok, I will." Those eyes are penetrating him, making his insides feel like they're been pulled apart. This is the moment to turn away, but her eyes hold his steady… She's got powers he has never heard off. "But…" And the sadness in her gaze is immense. This is what empathy must feel like, because something dark and heavy is invading him. "I won't ever see my family again, and you will. So when you do…"

"I don't wish to meet your family." For a few seconds, as she regards him with her eyes, he feel like a child, telling his mother he does not wish to eat his vegetables. It was stupid to allow her to make him feel like that. He glares her way, only making him more childish, and he has no idea of how she can do this to him. She's only 19, and he is…much older than her, so she should never, ever, have this effect over him. Maybe he should change his mind about killing her, before it's too late and there's nothing he can do to save his pride.

Pride should never be taken away, especially by a child.

"Don't be difficult." She says, taking her hands from his and punching him on the arm. His hands are cold without her touch, and if she were anyone else, he would kill her for daring do something so…so...undignified. "When you see them, give it back to them. Tell them what happened to me."

"Why don't you do it?"

And her laughter could have broken hearts more easily than the most sorrowful tears. "I'm afraid I won't live long enough to ever see them again."

His face contorts in question. Funny, he can't seem to maintain a blank face when she is nearby. "Why?"

"Oh, don't look so concerned." She lets out, though he is not sure why she thinks he is concern. He is just the tiniest bit curious, really. "Remember how you asked me where I was from?" She looks at the dirt on her fingernails, eyes downcast, mind somewhere where he can't follow. Then those eyes are again on his, and she is looking at only him. He can see it, how there is no thought about her dead friends or her faraway home or the rest of the world.

For a short moment in time, they are the only ones that exist in the world, and then that intense gaze with so many secrets returns.

"Let me tell you a story."

* * *

**Yey! Kagome is finally going to tell him her story, and then...well, from then on, they can only move forward. There will be no more secrets between them (except for all of Sesshoumaru's past, but hey, the guy, as sexy as he is, is much older than her). Hope you enjoyed it, and review, revire, review!!!!**


	16. I'll listen to it, discover your secrets

**Happy belated Christmas and early New Year! This chap. is my present to you, and boy was it hard. My muse seemed to sleep for a while (which got me desperate). So this chapter was a challenge, and I hope you enjoy it (because it really gave me one of those huge head aches).**

**Thanks to...**

**The Sacred Tree – Hahaha, that part was also one of my favorites. I could just imagine their faces!**

**Nmstoltz – Oh romance! And what awaits them! Of course, it is Kagome and Sesshoumaru, so thinks will not be easy. At all.**

**AkiChan323 – Oh, my! I have a reputation because of my cliffhangers? I do suppose I deserve it. I just can't help them. They come naturally, so sorry! And thank you so very much for loving my other story, too! Hope you had one great year and that the next will be better!**

**AllySan – Tus palabras, como siempre, me hacen sentir muy bien. Las memorias de Kagome van a ser mas como…si estuvieran pasando en ese momento. Aunque al final y en el capítulo que sigue van a poder saber más de lo que piensa Sesshoumaru. Ya lo he dejado por un rato, así que volveré a escribir más desde su punto de vista. Él, más que ella, se esta dando cuenta de lo importante que es para él, de cuanto la quiere, la necesita, y como no puede hacer nada para impedirlo.**

**Snow cat demon – Thanks for pointing that out. If you see another mistake like that, let me know. My editors point them out to me, and if my readers do it to, I'll learn faster, and those mistakes will be less and less J**

**Trelweny Rosephoenixwolf – Of course it's not bad! I know this story is way darker than what I usually write, but I do put comical situation in there. I think. I hope. I try. I want to to laugh, cry, be happy, suffer, with the characters. I want them to make you feel, and if they make you laugh, that's excellent.**

**Xokaggyfanox – I've been thinking about your question. She's not stronger because she got Kikyo's part of her soul (I'm kind of ignoring where that part of the soul went). She's stronger because she needs to be stronger. And I think of her powers as a way of…evolution. It's been five hundred years since Kikyo. Kagome isn't from this time, and in all the in between, something had to change. Mikos had to evolve. It will be explained later. But you have asked for so long that I thought you deserved an explanation. Kagome's powers have changed because they have evolved. And they seem to protect only Sesshoumaru because now, he is all she has left. Without him, she would be lost forever, and she didn't have that kind of deep connection with Inuyasha or anyone else. Only Sesshoumaru. Her miko powers, her emotions, want him to survive, protect him as much as they do her, because they're almost like one. They can't be parted. Not yet. As for the future, only the story will tell. Hope I answered your question.**

**Zero-serenity – Definitely increase in the plot. After this chapter, it will only go forward. After all. Kagome and Sesshoumaru are so much part of each other that if I make it more, they'll start reading each other minds…more. In a way (and this is secret), they're already in love with each other. There's no one else in the universe that will ever matter more to them. They just don't know it yet.**

* * *

**Fragments of a Shattered Moon**

_**I'll listen to it, discover your secrets**_

_You never know the biggest day of your life is the biggest day. Not until it's happening. You don't recognize the biggest day of your life, not until you're right in the middle of it. The day you commit to something or someone. The day you get your heart broken. The day you meet your soul mate. The day you realize there's not enough time, because you wanna live forever. Those are the biggest days. The perfect days. You know?_

- _Izzie, Grey's Anatomy_

* * *

"_Let me tell you a story." _

Later on, when people ask her how ask her how she and Sesshoumaru formed such a strong friendship, became such a large part of each other's lives, she will not even have to think for a moment.

Because this is it.

Right now, right here, with the memories of the past and the future tangled in one, in a way that could only happen to her. Here, with Sesshoumaru as her only present. This, where he takes her past and future and promises without promising to keep it. He already has her present.

"_Let me tell you a story."_

There's no turning back now, and Kagome thinks '_Fuck'_ because denying her growing affection towards the white haired youkai is becoming more impossible as the seconds go by.

This is the biggest thing that has ever happened to her. Not when she fell down a well. It was not when she pulled an arrow from a fifteen year old looking guy. When they died and she thought everything was over wasn't the moment either. Nor was it when opened her eyes to gaze into Sesshoumaru's and thinking it was Inuyasha.

It is now, when she only sees him, when he is the only thing in her mind is that they are for each other.

She's never made herself more vulnerable.

He's got no idea what he's just done.

"_Let me tell you a story."_

***

"I was born in 1989, in Japan," she starts, figuring any other place would just be wrong. She makes herself comfortable. This is, after all, going to be a long story. "My mother and father loved each other very much, or at least I like to believe that." It's not that she can't remember her father. His face is blurry, but his voice and smell are clear. She doesn't remember if her parents had a good relationship. There's not much she remembers about her father. Except for his funeral, and isn't that sweet? She remembers people in black, lots of flowers everywhere, and she remembers tears. Lots and lots of tears. Overall, she remembers her mother, standing by the door, attending all their guests, thinking it was unfair that they had to attend them when they were the ones that had lost him.

"He died when I was very young. I don't think I got it, at the time. I don't…he is…fading, like he never had an impact in my life, like he could just be…"

"Forgotten."

Kagome sighs. "Yes. Do you…do you remember…"

"Yes, but I am youkai. Forgetting important people is hard for us." No matter how many times Sesshoumaru had wished it was easier. He knows, with complete certainty, that he will never forget his father's stern look when he looked at him, or the way he always made him feel like he was not doing good enough.

He can't forget never being what his father expected.

"I can't remember him. It makes me sad." Kagome swallows before starting again. "After he died, mom took over the shrine, with my grandfather's help. They raised us, my brother and me."

"Your brother?"

"Yeah, he's younger. Always causing trouble, I used to yell at him all the time. Now I just wish I had enjoyed his company for one more day. He's probably still waiting for me to come back. Deep down, I think he knew I would someday get stuck here. He used to watch me with a look I couldn't read, made my heart clench." She gives him one of her broken smiles. "I helped mom keep the shrine. She told me, once, to not get lost in this world. She told me I belonged in the future. I never meant for her to lose a daughter. My grandfather…well, of all of them, I'm sure he's taking it the best. He probably knew, anyway, that duty would whisk me away from them. So, I lost them, and they…I think they lost me the moment the pearl broke." She makes a face. "My story is wrong in all kinds of ways, isn't it?"

"All good stories are."

"Wait till you hear the rest."

***

_Everything hurts. Her back, her head, even her nails. Kagome takes a moment to rethink the current events that have led her to complete and utter pain. __She fell down a well, now she's at the bottom of it, and it is one hell of a miracle she hasn't broken anything._

_Go, Kagome!_

_She tries to sit up, failing miserably. It takes her a few tries, and finally, finally, she's on her feet. __And now she has to climb her way up the stupid well. They should have put __in a ladder. __What seems like hours later, Kagome is out of the well. Maybe she hit her head harder __than she thought because this is not her home._

_This can't even be Japan._

_Last time she checked, they had things called buildings, the well was surrounded by walls, and her house was not that far away._

_Kagome came out of the well to blue skies, grass everywhere, and the smell of fresh air. She cocks her head to the side, tries to analyze why all she's ever known is suddenly not there, and fails miserably._

'_Ok, don't panic__,' she thinks, already panicking. 'There has to be a logical explanation for this.'_

_Later, when she is attacked by a monster and another one tries to kill her for a pearl she's never heard of, she'll think no logical reason could ever explain this. __And then, her eyes will cross with him, and it'll be game over for her._

_She´s pulled to him like a fly is pulled to light._ _There is nothing she can do about it. Nothing she wishes to do. It's like it was destined, like fate is pulling the strings._ _Before she knows it, she's before him, tiptoeing to be at his eye level._

_The boy in front of her has closed eyes, and something inside of her is begging him to open them. She has to gaze into his before she loses her mind._ _Something is very wrong, she finally decides. Half her mind is set to run off, as far away as she can, to leave him here. It's like a part of her knows that as soon as she pulls that arrow from his body, her whole life will be gone, and a new one will begin._

_She__'s quite comfy with what she has now. Her teachers think she'll have a great future. Her young brother is horrible, but she likes him anyway, and he's not much of a nuisance. Her grandfather is teaching her all this things about priestess that she'll never have any use for, but are fun to know anyway. Her mother needs her, and her friends look up to her. Why would she want to change any of that?_

_Why risk it all for just this stranger?_

_But something inside of her, something strong, makes her put her hand around the arrow and pull it back, and when those eyes finally open…When gold is all around her, when that strong gaze is finally set on her, she knows it's all over._

_She'll follow this stranger anywhere he goes, and damn it, everything is gold, gold, gold, gold, and his eyes are burning inside of her, scalding her…_

_If she doesn't look away, he will burn all she is._

"_Kikyo__," he says, a tone of love and adoration on his voice, and Kagome's heart clenches in pain, the air leaves her lungs, and for all she is, for all her intelligence and short knowledge of life, she can't make out why it hurts to her very bones to hear another name on his lips when he is looking at her._

***

"_You should study more__," her mother reprimands her. She doesn't yell. Maybe she's not capable of such an act, but the words ring in her ears louder than any scream. _

"_I'm trying, mom__," she says, and her mother narrows her eyes the tiniest bit, which means that explanation is not enough._

"_You've kept up with this for almost a year, and it's nowhere near over."_

"_I have a duty, I can't…"_

"_This is your right time. Your future de__pends on the grades you get now. You can't just throw it all away for things that happened centuries ago!"_

_There is no explanation. What can she tell her mother to make her understand, to make her see? It's her fault. The past is a wreck because she made it so, and she can't turn her back on it. __On her friends, on Inuyasha…_

_The pieces of the pearl are scattered everywhere. They haunt her in her dreams, in her time awake; she has to find them. __As long as she doesn't, living in the future is not an option._

"_When are you going to start living in the present, Kagome?"_

_She doesn't have an answer for that._

_***_

_They're as close a family as she can have._

_Circumstances have denied __the young woman her real family, but she thinks it's not so much of a tragedy. After all, she has them. She has her Shippo, her Miroku, and her Sango. __Sometimes, if it's a good day, Inuyasha can be hers to._

_They fight over who gets the last candy. Sango blushes and hits Miroku as he says something utterly disrespectful. Inuyasha smiles her way, and for a moment, she imagines that they're all living in her era, where there are all kinds of wrongs, but none of the dangers found here. At least there, no one would be trying to kill them on a daily basis._

_Laughter and joy, this is how things should be._

'_Forget about duty__,' Kagome's mind tells her. 'Enjoy this.' __She can't help but agree._

_Miroku is like her older brother. Underneath his perverted ways, there's a man with wisdom and good advice. She can always count on him to show her the right path. __Sango is the sister she never had. It hurts, of course, that underneath all those smiles there's a girl hurting for her younger brother. Kagome tries to lighten the pain as much as she can. __Shippo needs someone to protect him and Kagome needs someone to protect. They all need her to give them hope, but Shippo is the only one who really needs her to protect him. As long as she can, she'll do it._

_Inuyasha…_

_Well, if this was a fairy tale, he would be her prince charming. Of course they'd had difficulties finding eternal happiness, but all good stories do. He'd choose Kikyo first. Then, he'd realize Kagome was the one for him, and he'd break the spell cast on him, come running to her, and they'd love each other for forever._

'_You're a priestess.' She reminds herself. 'Not a princess.'_

***

_He is cocky, he's an ass, and way too over confident for his own good. Kind of reminds her a little of Inuyasha, except he makes her blush in a good way, and she feels something akin to the need__ to giggle like the school girl she is when he says she's his woman._

_If she has to be honest with herself, if her eyes had not crossed with Inuyasha's first, or if the hanyou hadn't existed, she would have gotten lost in the __impossible blue that are Kouga's eyes._

_He is the cool, bad ass boy __that has his way with the ladies. And if they were in her time, everyone would be dying to go out with him. __Inuyasha is more like the rude, problematic guy that never knows when to shut up. __Much to Kagome's chagrin, she's fallen in love with the loud one._

_It's not like either of them would be someone any reasonable mother would approve of._

_Still…_

_Kagome can imagine her life in the feudal era next to Kouga. He would always protect her, make her feel love__d and safe, and most important, he doesn't see Kikyo at all. Once, he saw them both together, and he didn't even make the connections._

_He only sees Kagome._

_Kagome only sees Inuyasha._

_Th__ey're stuck in a horrible…square? Shouldn't squares mean two pairs? She always knew mathematics were just lies._

_Cradled in Kouga's arms while Inuyasha is shouting at him to 'Put her down__,' 'Hand her over,' and 'She's not yours,' Kagome closes her eyes and for the smallest moment ever, wishes she could love the wolf youkai instead._

_***_

_Everything is wrong and the eyes starting at her are dark, deep, and promise her pain beyond imagination. __He's the bad man in every story, and Kagome finally realizes the meaning of 'evil__.'_

_Until she met him, she never truly thought anyone was evil. She assumed all people were good. Some just got lost in the way._

_Naraku has never been good. _

_Kagome can't even begin to feel sorry for him, for never having a hand stretched out to him just to help him, and for never knowing what it's like to care so much for someone that you would give your life away just so they could keep living._

_The joys of life have escaped him, and she can't feel pity._

_Because she is terrified of him._

_Because her brain is t__oo fearful, at the moment, to think._

_Because this man will be what most of her nightmares will be made of._

_And she knows he will destroy everything that means anything to her if she doesn't stop him._

***

'_You are scary and me__an, and I don't really like you,' are the first thoughts that come to Kagome's mind after meeting Sesshoumaru for about…three minutes. __Besides, he's prettier than her, his hair is to-die-for, and since when does having marks all over your face makes you look…so…ok, so he is sexy, but that in no way changes her opinion of him. _'_You're still a horrible perso__n,' she thinks, aware of the fact that he's not really human. 'I hope I never get the chance to meet you on a more personal level than trying to stop you from killing your brother.'_

_He looks her way only because she is standing between Inuyasha and him, and he arches an eyebrow, which is more reaction than most of his enemies__ receive._

"_I won't let you kill him__," she says, her eyes narrowing at him._

_She never expected him to answer. In all honesty, she expected him to kill her. To her surprise, he simply questions her. "Why?"_

'_I love him. I need him. He is my friend, my family, and I can't stand asid__e while you kill him.' She says, "He's your brother."_

_Of course, it __is not until much later that she'll learn those words could definitely have been her ticket for death._

_She must have caught him on a good day._

"_Half brother," he says, and walks away._

_Inuyasha's brother never really gets a second thought from her except when he's trying to kill them. _

***

"_Get out of my room!"_

"_Gee, sis, you've been here for what? A day? You're already yelling at me."_

"_I wouldn't have to if you stayed out of my business." __Kagome catches the hurt look on his brother's eyes, but she can't, for the world, comfort him. She already has to comfort Shippo, Sango, Inuyasha, Miroku…everyone they meet. __No one comforts her. There is no one to make it all easier. __Sometimes, she's so desperate, she wishes Kikyo was her older sister, that she could rely on her to make her feel better. __The older woman would probably slap her if she ever told her so._

_Things are getting out of control. It's harder to keep a happy face all the time, and she can't…_

"_Just. Get. Out."_

_He doesn't. Instead, he enters the room. Kagome is about to protest, but she feels his arms around her._

"_You can let go for now," he whispers in her ear. A second, then a minute, and Souta's shoulder is getting wet with all the tears Kagome sheds. _

_He is so young, and she is so young, and this pain should not be felt._

***

_Even later, much later, when she's deeply in love with him, she won't understand the unbearable pain she comes to associate with Kikyo's name._

_It's like looking into a distorted mirror. The kind of mirror that reflects everything you don't want to see about yourself._ _This…person, this other her, is harsh, serious and just plain evil. She's tough in ways Kagome will never achieve. She'll never have that perfection that seems so natural to the older woman. Where Kagome is clumsy, she's graceful. Where she is weak, the other one is strong. Everything she lacks is found in her._

_No wonder Inuyasha wanted her when he first opened his eyes. _

"_Kikyo…" Inuyasha whispers behind her__. Oh, there it is, that loving and adoring tone she heard once upon a time._

_Kikyo has everything Kagome's always wanted, and in a way, she has it, because they're the same person, right? The same soul? Except they're two souls. __It feels like she's lost everything she had till now. Everything is wrong, and the worst part is she can't hate this woman that's supposed to be her. __She can't hate, and it hurts more than if she could hat__e. It is hate turning into desperation, and as time goes by, Kagome will respect Kikyo. She'll even understand her._

_After all, if Naraku hadn't killed her, if she hadn't had to toughen up when she was but a child, if life had treated her the way it had Kagome…_

_If maybe she could have been more carefree, maybe, just maybe…_

_Kikyo looks at her with a mix between hate and something else. "Inuyasha…" __she says while looking at her, and the idiotic youkai goes to her like the stupid dog youkai that he is._

"_I understand," she'll tell him later, when Inuyasha's actions finally settle into that thick brain of his. "You had to go to her. You love her."_

_She won't be able to stand the confusion in those eyes she's come to adore. Never will she imagine that maybe, she is enough for him. That she is everything he could ever hope to have._

_This is a love that will never happen, and its scar will stay with Kagome for the rest of her life, marking her with a love not meant to be. __All the words he's said, all his actions and his silence, she replays in her mind over and over again, trying to figure out if something there means they're going to be together._

_But she can't find enough proof, and she cries herself to sleep more times than not._

_***_

_Why does she have to stay with them? Why can't he make her leave?_

_Why the hell does she have to be so goddamn stupid and not tell him what she really wants?_

_Why, why, why?_

_The idea that she has to be part of her group, that she'll see her every day…__As if having Sesshoumaru there is not unnerving enough. __This, though, is beyond belief. __Kikyo can't become part of her circle. She can't let her be. _

_Because that means everything is over._

_That means she's giving up Inuyasha, and she's not sure she can do it; not sure her heart or pride can take any more hits._

_She completely misses the look Kikyo gives her; a mix between sadness, guilt, and determination. All Kagome knows is how much the older, stronger, perfect miko is going to ruin her life. Every day since she was fifteen and Inuyasha confused __them, she's been living under her shadow, never good enough for anyone's expectations. __The younger miko can't allow herself to see the looks Kikyo throws her way. The silent scream of 'Let me help you survive, let me help you live, have Inuyasha. He is yours if you want him. I'm dead, and you're alive, and you are what I should have been. You are what I want, let me help.'_

_If Kagome allowed the meaning of that gaze to reach her, she would not survive it._

_In a way, both of them know it._

_She says yes under Miroku's knowing glance and Sango's pitiful look. Shippo pouts, makes a scene, and tries really hard to make Kikyo feel unaccepted._

_Kagome is grateful, but she goes back to her time with anger in every essence of what she is._

***

_She's sore as she dresses herself. Hojo is looking at her with an expression between sadness and understanding._

_Except, how could he understand? __How would she ever be able to explain that she's in love with a man that's not really a man that's in love with a woman that's not really alive? __How can he ever relate to this kind of pain, to…_

_His eyes find hers. 'Oh__,' her brilliant mind thinks. Reflected in his eyes is the same pain she sees in hers. The mark of unrequited love. 'Oh.' She's put that pain there. She's made him bleed inside just like she has…_

_It was never supposed to be this way, except what other way could it have ever been?_

"_I…" There have to be words for moments like this, maybe she should cuddle, but that's left for people who love each other, and it's not what she needs. _

_It's his body she needed, an escape, and now that she's had it…_

"_Go__," he tells her with a firm voice. "I'm here for when you need me."_

_She'll come back. She knows this as she's closing the door. She'll come back a lot more._

_Guilt and satisfaction should never be felt together._

***

_She should have known._

_All the signs were there. Bright, beautiful day, they hadn't had much trouble, and they were happy._

_Happiness is such a tell-tale sign of sorrow._

_The bloody idiot._

_Kagome shuts her e__yes for a moment, trying to pinpoint exactly why she feels her guts twisting. Her face contorts in concentration, but she can't quite put her finger on it. Something horrible is about to happen, though, and that's all that should really matter._

_His white hair is floating all around him, and she can see him turning to her, smirking as if there is nothing to worry about._

_But she knows he is wrong, and she has to tell him, has to stop him from going because if she doesn't, everything will turn into chaos. _

"_It's just another fight with Naraku__," he says, voice filled with confidence. That stupid grin is set on his mouth, and Tenseiga is vibrating at his side, ready for a good fight._

_Kagome swallows hard and tries to give him a smile, but it comes out crooked. Sango and Miroku are prepping. Shippo is harassing them, and Kikyo watches her through knowing eyes. __It occurs to Kagome that she feels the same impending doom hovering over their heads. At that moment, they truly are one, same thoughts, same fears, and Kagome hates it enough to ignore __it, her throat closing up and a sudden need to throw everything she's eaten up._

_Later on, Kagome will curse herself, and while she's at it, she'll curse Inuyasha, Kikyo, and eve__ryone that was there, really. Inuyasha should have known it. She knew it, and didn't do anything. _

_Her smile became the tiniest bit more brilliant, and it was all Inuyasha needed to launch himself into battle._

_For once, Kikyo doesn't look her way with disapprovingly, but with understanding. _

_The remorse is something she'll learn to live with until her last breath._

***

The miko was born almost five hundred years into the future. Sesshoumaru has found himself in a lot of weird situations, and he's met the weirdest…living beings in all his years, but he's never…

'_How…' _he thinks_, 'fascinating'_

He knows he'll live for thousands of years, but to have a human from another time, a human that knows all the changes the world will see and will live…

'_I could see her in five hundred years, if she could go back home, and…'_, Sesshoumaru frowns and stops that thought. _'Then what?'_

The idea of not having to face her death in at least a hundred years has twisted into not having to lose her, either…

But she's not his to lose because, regardless of the friendship he can no longer ignore, he has no hold on her. Not really. Not like he wished he had in a private way that not even he knows.

Except, if he could make her go back to her time, almost five hundred years into the future he would be able to see her cocky smile directed his way. He'd smell her scent and touch her skin, watch her clumsiness and bask in her presence.

He's never before wanted someone to be eternal. It chills him to the bones to want it.

And in the back of his mind, something is trying to make way to the front to tell him that what he is thinking is not normal friendship, and something fishy is going on. Thankfully, because he is powerful and perfect, but can't take anymore tonight, his survival system cuts in and tucks the information away.

"I never understood why the first time was so important. Mine was with a prostitute my father hired, and I became excellent at the act. Not to mention it didn't affect my ability to interact with others."

Kagome stares at him for a whole minute, consumed between shyness, astounded by how he can keep a blank face while saying that, surprised by how he can act like all men when it comes to their abilities in bed, and trying not to laugh at his 'not affecting his ability to interact with others' comment.

An ice cube has a better chance of making friends than Sesshoumaru, the greatest jerk of them all.

"Of all the things I just said…" She did tell him she was from the future. "This is what you chose to comment about?" Sesshoumaru cocks his head to the side, which means he is confused, and Kagome will never tell him how much a dog act that is. "You do know you don't have many friends, right?" He doesn't even bother to give her an answer, just raises his eyebrow. Kagome sighs, exasperated. "That means your theory doesn't work."

"Which theory?"

"The one when you interact just fine with the rest of the world."

"I have you," he simply states.

Well, damn, Kagome could point out that she's just as damaged and insane as he is, but that wouldn't work in her favor. She could discuss how having one friend doesn't count. Hell, she could even tell him that even that a mean doctor on TV that likes to ruin people's lives even as he saves them has friends, and no, that doesn't make him normal. Except that last one would require a lot of explaining of TV, shows, technology, and way too many other things.

And she can't believe he chose to speak about her sex life before anything else.

Instead of fighting back, she simply smirks his way, points his finger at him, and pretty much screams, "Ha, you just said I'm, your friend!"

By the look on his face, Kagome is certain she's giving him a headache. Her smirk only grows wider.

And Sesshoumaru…

He's immersed in what is, what could be, and what shouldn't be.

She's from the future, and he's from the past. There is no home for her in this world. She doesn't have a village to protect. She doesn't even belong to this time, and yet, she's the only one that can help him save it.

"This is not your time." He finally says, after she's calmer, and he's willing to give this conversation another try. He'll try to keep both their sex lives out if it. She doesn't even exist yet, not really.

"No."

"And the other miko…"

"Kikyo."

"Yes, she is you, but in the past."

Kagome gives him one of her most fierce glares. "In theory."

He wants to ask about Rin, but he can already see where that will lead. There is no way he is comparing his child to her, even if they share some similarities. Rin looked up to Kagome, and that could unconsciously make her act a little like her. They were both children, too, which explains the happiness, carefree attitude, and willingness to see only the good things in these world.

Kagome is not Kikyo.

And Rin is not Kagome.

Anything else is wrong.

Kagome carries the burden of the mistakes she's made in this era and the mistakes she made in hers, and all the ones that will occur in between if she doesn't fix this.

"Whatever happens in this time, affects yours."

"Yes."

"You're fighting for the ones you have in the future."

"Mostly."

"Mostly?"

Kagome manages to roll her eyes even with the heaviness of their talk. "I told you before, I'm also doing it for you."

"Because I saved your life."

Her face contorts into an exasperated expression. "So you'll keep it?" she asks him, her voice almost, but not quite, breaking.

Once upon a time, he would have said no and broken the necklace. Some time ago, he wouldn't even have contemplated the idea of returning anything to her family because he had known, without any doubt, that he would forget her. She was just that meaningless. But now he knows what he should have realized some time ago.

In four hundred and ninety six years, in a thousand years, until the day he dies and in any other life he is reborn into, he will remember her. No matter how different they are, to him, from now and forever, she will be Kagome. And Kagome is so melded into his actions, into his being, that having no memory of her is simply illogical.

The only rational act left to do is keep the necklace right where it is, on his neck.

He seals his destiny with hers without a second thought, and she gives hers to him with a careless gesture.

It's just a necklace, after all.

And their lives are already so entangled with each other's that it doesn't make any difference. Except now the truth is there for everyone to know.

This is how their story will be written.

***

There was once a teenage girl that fell down a well and down into the past.

_And the first thing she saw was a boy no older than her with white hair that made her immensely curious and…odd, like that boy would change her whole life._

There was once an arrogant youkai that never really listened to his father, but somehow managed to make his same mistakes.

_And his father had died because of a human. He hated humans because they tainted his name and his mother's memory. Oddly enough, he took a human under his wing, and later on, he would take another human under his protection, and she would mean so much he'd almost understand his father…_

There was once a stupid child that thought she could make a difference in this word, in the people around her…

_And she surrounded the arrow with her hand, pulled it out and__, like magic, his eyelids opened. She stared into impossibly golden eyes, and when he whispered another's name, she knew she was doomed._

There was once a youkai Lord that lost and gained, and lost again everything he had or was.

_And the girl filled his days with amusement, but she was taken away. His kingdom burned, his subjects died, and he was left with only a miko to replace all that was gone._

There was once a naïve miko that made a mistake and had no option but to fix it.

_And she just had to break the stupid pearl and of course the pieces had to shatter everywhere, and why not? All youkai had to want the pieces, and of course she had to be the only one that could feel them…_

There was once a Lord without a kingdom that no longer cared about anything and refrained from accepting that all he wanted was her safety.

_And this could only happen to him because, of course, Fate hated him, and sure, it was just like his stupid heart to care in such deep way for the worst being for him. He always knew he should have taken it out._

There was once a young girl who loved a hanyou so much she thought she might die.

_And ironically, it was not she who died, but h__im. He died before her eyes and all the screaming in the world would never make up for what she lost._

There was once a lost demon who found his right place beside a priestess.

_And she loved his half brother who was now dead, and wasn't this familiar? Inuyasha used to love Kikyo, who had been dead. __A vicious cycle._

Here they are, two lost souls.

_And his eyes were the same gold as Inuyasha's, only not the same. And sometimes she acted just like the little girl he loved so, but she was not her_.

They are too different, so wrong for each other, would never have been together before. But now, right here, with the world submerged in war and all the scars for each other to see, only they do not see how they fit like puzzle pieces

* * *

**There it is. Bits and pieces of Kagome's life. I was going to give her more memories of when she was smaller, but at the end decided against it. I like it more like this. After all, this is what really counts. I always thought Kagome's life started when she fell down a well. Review, please, and wait up for next chap! I'm already working on it.**

**Love you all.**

**Happy 2010! May all your wishes come true, and may you find love and happiness!**


	17. Shadows and Puppets

**SOMEONE TOLD ME THIS CHAPTER DIDN'T HAVE SEPARATIONS. I'M SO SORRY! I'M GUESSING IT HAPPENED WHEN I UPLATED IT, BUT IT'S FIXED, AND NEXT CHAPTER SHOULD BE UP SOMETIME NEXT WEEK! **

* * *

**Fragments of a Shattered Moon**

_**Shadows and Puppets**_

_**''He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.''**_

_**– Brook, One Piece**_

**_

* * *

_**

_Sesshoumaru is young, reckless, and on his way to become one of the world's most powerful youkai. Demons tremble as he walks by. Hanyou stare apprehensively from afar. Humans hide in fear._

_He i__s a force as great as nature, and for the life of him, he cannot understand his father._

_The elder youkai had everything he wanted: a respected name, lands, people to rule, the esteem of all youkai; he was on top of the world. He was where he had always wanted to be. His hard work had paid off completely and all he had to do was sit back and enjoy it._

_Perhaps that had been the problem._

_His father had never been one to sit back and relax. He always remained active, unsatisfied with standing still. _

_Sesshoumaru__ looks back to his father and remembers the stern youkai that always told him to do better, work harder, and why was he waiting to start living to his full potential?_

_When he pictures his father now, all he can see is a stained image of who he was._

_This is not the man he wanted to impress when he was younger. Inside Sesshoumaru, something breaks. The image of the man he admired shatters, shatters, leaving nothing but anger and a bittersweet taste in his royal mouth._

_Sesshoumaru wants to scream at him, grab him by the shoulders and shake him until the man he respected returns. He wants to beat him, make his every muscle burn, and all of his bones break._

_More than anything, Sesshoumaru needs his father to feel the same ache he does. _

"_One day, Sesshoumaru, you'll have someone you'll want to take care of. You'll find the person that means more to you than your own life. Then you'll understand me."_

_Sesshoumaru's fists tighten and it is only through incredible self-control that he manages not to lash out. __His mother was supposed to be the only one for his father, the one person he wanted to protect. And he… __He is his eldest son. He should have been his pride. Or, at the very least someone he cared for, even the tiniest bit. __But he was not, and Sesshoumaru realizes now with more bitter than sweet, that he will never be. _"_I thought that was my mother.__" He almost snarls the last word. "Wasn't she the one you were supposed to protect and care for above all others?" Because if it wasn't his own flesh and blood, it should at least have been the female he promised to cherish._

"_Your mother has long been dead." _

_Fists meet flesh over and over again. Fury is invading him, intoxicating his being, and it's so easy to let go…It feels good, to have his fists and claws connect with the other youkai's skin. There is no grace in the way he fights. Everything blurs around him. __When Sesshoumaru regains his composure, he finds himself atop his bloodied and bruised father, probably suffering from broken bones as well. By the way he__ struggles to breath, it appears some ribs have cracked. _

_Satisfaction fills Sesshoumaru, even if his father will heal in no time at all._

"_My mother…" h__e says, making sure every word gets through his father's thick skull "Was alive when you started to live with that…"_

"_Do no__t say it."_

_They stare into each other's eyes, intense, fierce, and so very golden __that it's almost like the sun is about to explode. __Finally, Sesshoumaru stands, glaring down at him, still angry. He may be angry for the rest of his life._

"_You have to promise me…"_

"_I don't have to promise you anything."_

_  
If there ever were to be an award for the worst father, it would go to his. Never __around, except to criticize. Never happy, except when he was about to leave. __Sesshoumaru doesn't owe him anything, and after this, after stomping all over his mother's honor, he will not do anything for him. Except, perhaps, beat him again. _

_He doesn't think that's the favor._

_It's not as if his mother treated him gently either, because she did not. As soon as he was old enough to learn to fight, she made him spar with the best. She had been just as strict as his father, yet she was always there. __Regardless of anything, she was always there. _

"_You can't let him die," his father tells him, a pleading edge in his tone. The greatest youkai in the world brought down by a single human princess. Pathetic. Then, the youkai's words sank in._

"_Him?"_

"_She's pregnant. He's your brother, and after I…they'll go after him."_

_  
"Protect him yourself, if you want him to live."_

"_I may not be able to."_

_  
__He's going to die. He's letting him know, and he wants him to protect his bastard?_

"_No."_

"_Sesshoumaru, if you've ever…if the moment has ever…I need you to protect him. If you've ever considered yourself my son, you will do this."_

_The younger youkai looks at him with stern eyes. He hates him all over again, hates himself because he is his son, and he doesn't want or need a brother. __He will not protect a bastard._

"_No."_

"_I would die for him. He is my son. I need to know someone will take care of him."_

_Sesshoumaru was already walking away, but he stops at that. His face is already forming that blank expression that will define him for years to come. Hard, cold, and just like ice. __Only his__ eyes reflect the fury he feels, and even that will be gone after some decades. __He needs to become unfeeling, or this will become greater than him and consume his very being. _"_I'm your son too, and I don't remember you ever being there to protect me."_

_Sesshoumaru walks away, leaving his father on the ground beaten by his son's hands, not allowing himself to feel any remorse. _

_Almost as a second thought, he adds, "And __that's half-brother."_

_No. H__e will never care for anyone. Protecting someone will never be his priority. _

_Absolutely no one will be above his own life._

_He will not take care of some brat._

* * *

This is the universe's way of mocking him.

It has to be.

Because if it's not, then it just means it is his father's way of mocking him from beyond. Sesshoumaru is determined to not let that be the case. He is Sesshoumaru. Lord or no lord, he always gets what he wants. He wants this to be the universe's fault.

Besides, it's not like his father knew anything.

Sesshoumaru really doesn't like where his thoughts lead him. They're pointing exactly where they shouldn't.

He grabs Kagome as she is about to hit her head on a tree and pulls her towards his side. "Kagome…" He says, fully aware that protecting her even from herself is now instinct. "Explain to me how you know this is the right way." The girl can barely dodge a tree, and she's supposed to lead him to the last shard?

She glares at him and tries to step on his foot, which inevitably ends up hurting her more. He truly, truly wants to roll his eyes, but she already has him sighing. Showing more emotion is unspeakable. Even if she already reads every emotion on his face like he was an open book. Maybe it's something from the future.

"Doesn't it bother you?" she asks, "Where I'm from? I'm technically older than you."

Sesshoumaru gives her a disbelieving look, before an evil grin sets in on his mouth. He used to be pretty good at hiding facial expressions. "Technically, you don't exist yet."

Her mouth opens, closes, and ah, victory feels good.

"But doesn't it bother you?"

"Why should it?" After all, from the future or not, she is Kagome. Where she is from, or what time she is from as is the case, in no way affects this.

"Ugh. You give me a headache."

Sesshoumaru's evil grin just widens. "Is everyone from the future like you?"

"Huh?" She looks up at him from the ground with confused, big, blue eyes. Her black hair is messy like always. It fits her somehow. She goes back to rubbing her foot and glaring at him like it's his fault she decided to hit him. She should know by now that trying to injure him only results in her getting damaged.

And he really shouldn't be bothered by that.

"Well, is everyone…so lacking in sense of direction…or self-conservation?"

"I don't hurt myself that often, and I know where we're going," she says, pouting and looking indignant at the same time. "I can feel it. It's like…" Her eyes close. She bites her lip and her whole face contorts in concentration. "It's like… needles all over my body, and when I concentrate, a subtle sort of pain. After I feel this, the location of the shard is entwined with my every step. I know if I'm walking away from it because the needles return, just for a minute, and I know when I'm getting closer because the presence of the shard is all around me, as if guiding me towards it." A deep frown settles on her face. "Do you understand? I'm sorry if I can't make it any clearer. It's difficult to explain."

"Indeed."

"Indeed?"

Sesshoumaru knows exactly what her reaction will be to his next words, but he can't help it. He's found annoying her is quiet entertaining. "It's fascinating that you can't walk in a straight line without getting lost, and yet you're only one that can find the shard…"

"Hey!" she yells, her face becoming that unique shade of red she gets only when mad. It's almost bordering on purple. "I _so_ don't get lost."

Sesshoumaru grins only slight enough for Kagome to detect it. "Kagome…" he says slowly, steadily, and lower than normal. Kagome's attention goes straight to his lips and the redness on her face changes. This is her blushing. The satisfaction he gets out of it should not make him feel so good. "You do."

Kagome glares hard and proceeds to stand up and start walking.

"Wrong direction."

She lets out a growl, changes directions, and continues walking without giving him a second glance.

Sesshoumaru sighs for what has to be the millionth time since this journey started and follows her. He mostly tries not to think about the things she invokes in him. If he does…when he does…it's clear that Kagome has become a very important part of his life. He can't deny it. Still…Her wellbeing is his priority. He hunts whatever will be tasteful for her. He looks for the places that will be safest and most comfortable for her. He's searching constantly for warm pools of water. She is his priority even before himself.

Not even with Rin was it this way.

"_One day, Sesshoumaru…"_

It's clear to him, that if it came to it, he would rather lose his arm again than have her injured, and he can't understand the implications of what that means…

"… _You'll have someone you'll want to take care of."_

All the small, insignificant details of her are engraved on his mind. The way her eyes lighten and darken depending on her emotions. Her hair is messy, uncontrolled like her, and yet so smooth to the touch it almost feels like silk. She carries the smell of spring and something else, something unique, and sometimes it breaks his mind to try to place its origin, because he knows, surely, that he will only be able to identify it five hundred years from now. She's crude when she expresses herself. Sometimes, she uses words that he's sure only mean something to her and the people from her time.

She has no family, and yet she does. Centuries from now, she has a mother, a grandfather, and a brother that look into the well and wonder if they'll ever see her again.

It is only now, here, that she has no one but him. It shouldn't make him feel so…warm.

"_You'll find the person that means more to you than your own life…"_

And there are so many things that separate him from her. So many people, situations, memories…

So much time in between…

She is a child. Even if she's from the future, she's still just a child…Where he is old, so, so very old next to her…

The feelings she invokes inside of him are older, though, and he can't name them. This burning in his chest, this warmth inside him…Regardless of how hard he tries, he can't put a name on them, but he knows, surely, that there's no way back. They keep growing and growing. As much as he tries, he can't push them away, and every day it's getting harder to ignore them.

His world already nearly revolves around her, and there are days when he forgets that he's in this to avenge Rin and Jaken, the lands lost, and the insult given to him by Naraku.

Sometimes, he fights only to keep her alive and safe, and revenge is the farthest thing from his mind.

"… _and you'll understand me."_

But his father is wrong.

* * *

If there is one thing he knows, it's the feeling of not belonging anywhere. The sharp pain that intensifies until it solidifies and becomes a purpose. And once it's a purpose, once you finally have something to live for, to thrive for, a place where you belong, there's nothing left to do but follow it.

That is making everyone feel out of place, deny them of their home, their families, and their lives is his purpose. Naraku needs chaos because he thrives on it, and when all is destroyed, when there's nothing left, he wants to be at the top of it all.

Belonging when no one else does.

Sesshoumaru and…Kagome…are starting to get in his way. After all his work, planning, and patience, he won't let them win. He'll squash them like the mere mosquitoes they are.

"You are certain of this?"

He thought he had gotten rid of that young miko. He'd left her to bleed to death himself. It never occurred to him that someone like Sesshoumaru would save her, especially after…

'_Oh,__'_ he thinks, _'That idiotic little girl must have told him.'_ He should have killed her himself, but the thought of Sesshoumaru killing his own child had been too tempting.

"She…evaporated everyone and everything around her?"

"Just her enemies and our weapons."

"With her miko powers?"

Kagura is nervous. Atsuki shifts besides her. "Yes."

"What about Sesshoumaru?"

"He survived."

"But the miko was holding him. How did he not become purified?"

This time it's Atsuki who answers, though she looks like she'd rather not. "I do not know. I'm working on it. Her powers don't work like normal miko powers."

Naraku's expression is starting to turn into one of untamed anger. She should be dead. He should be lost. In no way should they be together. He has to think of a way to destroy them. Without knowing exactly what Kagome's power does, he can't risk going himself. Especially not with Sesshoumaru protecting her.

Then, his brain clears and an idea floats through his mind.

His red gaze turns to Kagura. "Are they ready?"

Kagura turns to look at Atsuki, who hesitates for just a moment before nodding her head.

"They're acceptable."

"Do they obey only me?"

"Yes."

"Bring them here."

Kagura knew it would come to this. She was just hoping it would take a few more months. They're still a bit unstable, too shaky and unpredictable. With all the mistakes they've made, though, they'll have to risk it.

"They're waiting outside."

"Call them." Her lord looks positively happy.

The doors at the end of the hall open, two shadows appear and begin walking towards them until they're in front of Naraku and kneel.

Atsuki frowns and steps as far away from them as possible without being noticed. Kagura understands her. In front of her, are two killing machines that only follow Naraku's orders. The perfect weapons, the perfect surprise for the youkai and miko.

"You called?" a rough male voice asks.

Kagura's neck hair stands at the voice so full of pure malice. Naraku stands up and goes to them. He pats one of them and holds the female's chin so he can look into her red eyes. He places his hand on her cheek.

"My puppets," he whispers when she leans towards his touch.

"We are here to serve you," she says, voice full of devotion.

"It is our only purpose," the male responds.

"Find Sesshoumaru and Kagome, and kill them."

The two nod and Naraku smiles.

* * *

Sometimes, she can choke with all the emotions she feels.

"What will you do if you ever go home?"

Sesshoumaru, she has come to learn, is very curious. For someone that kept a blank face all the time, it truly came as a surprise to her to find out. He faces her, his eyes calm as they watch her. He wears the smile, that isn't quite a smile, on his face. He is truly interested in knowing.

"What?" But for her life, she can't comprehend why he has to ask this now. In her opinion, that is just a very irrelevant question, considering it's been almost a year since she's been home. Her birthday passed when she was unconscious, not that he knows, and she can see her necklace shining prettily from his neck.

Sesshoumaru, of course, doesn't know subtlety. She eyes him, observing how the afternoon light makes parts of his hair glow red. The sunrays fall on his handsome features, making him look…godly.

Maybe he just doesn't care about stepping sensitively. Maybe having bloody, perfect features, amazing hair, power beyond belief, and near immortality are reasons enough to forget all about delicacy. Maybe he thinks all those things give him the right to ask whatever he pleases.

Idiot.

His golden eyes are still on her. She breathes in deep. "I don't think I'm going back home," she finally says, extremely pleased that her voice did not shake and the lump in her throat went unnoticed.

"If there was a way for you to come here, there is a way for you to go back."

"No."

"…" He waits for her answer silently, already accustomed to giving her time to answer.

"I tried, remember? When I jumped down the well…" His eyes clear, neurons already working to connect the dots in her mess. "I broke my ankle when I should have felt the pull of time. I was supposed to see the future when I looked up, but all I could see was the blue sky of the Feudal Era and your eyes." She can hear the '_oh'_ in his mind. "So you see, there is no going back for me. The well portal is broken and there's no other way home. Like it or not, this is the only place I have. This is the only 'home' I have left. All I can do now is save this time and my time and hope that everything will work out alright with my family. At least you'll tell them what happened to me."

The tall youkai nods. "Yes." He hesitates, and it's so rare for him to do that. Kagome already knows what he's going to say again. "But if you could go back, what would you do?"

Kagome laughs. It's so like Sesshoumaru to not quit until he gets his answers. "I guess I would work my ass off at school, even if I'm way too old. And I'd try to get into college. Before all this happened, I wanted to be a doctor, you know? But if I went back now, I wouldn't be able to. There are many younger, brighter students than me."

"You cured…them, when you were here." Careful not to mention her last companions.

A small smile graces her, thankful for their effort. "Maybe I'd become a paramedic, someone that actually saves lives. Lately, all I seem to do is kill people."

"Save people?"

"Aha, life is too precious to not try to save it. Even now, we fight to salvage the lives of who are left."

"I don't."

"You fight for mine."

"Not for the others."

The miko stares at him, studies him. She has had this question in her mind for the longest time, circling over and over again. Waiting for the right moment to be free. She inhales, and asks."Sesshoumaru, would you bring me back to life?"

"I thought I had already done that?"

Kagome punches him lightly on the shoulder. "No, I mean…would you bring me back to life now?"

Sesshoumaru sighs. "Yes. I still need you."

"Oh." Kagome is not sure how much disappointment can hurt, but before she can figure it out, Sesshoumaru is speaking again.

"And you make life more interesting. It is…good, to have you around."

Kagome, just like that, feels like she is worth a billion dollars. She rolls her eyes at him, though, because going mushy on him is not going to work. "As if having to kill every youkai we meet is not a good distraction, or running away from a weird psycho who wants to control the world and thinks we are the only ones in his way is not distraction enough."

"We are the only ones that can stop him."

"Don't say things like that. They make my head hurt."

He looks at her with those mocking eyes, and she punches him once more. If she was anyone else, she would have found herself dead in a very gory way for even daring to think to hit him. As it turns out, he simply says, "You make for a non-violent entertainment."

She laughs. "And here I was thinking you could only appreciate violence."

She rests her head over his shoulder and smiles.

Sesshoumaru doesn't tell her, but right now, he's enjoying one of those non-violent moments.

* * *

A woman of about thirty sips her tea with dainty white hands. Her blond hair glows under the sun and her grey eyes watch carefully over the camp. Her features are delicate, precise, as if they had been carved. Her slender figure is at rest as she enjoys her green tea, but her expression shows her mind is not.

This is what her life has become. After so many decades of hiding, it's finally time to fight again. If it was up to her, she would have long ago surrendered to her eternal rest, but that's impossible as long as Atsuki is out there.

She should have known. The signs were everywhere, but she chose to ignore them. She was her best friend, her confidant. They grew up together. Now, because of her blindness, the world is surrounded in darkness, controlled by a maniac that only seeks to destroy it.

If the Shikon no Tama Miko didn't survive, they have no chance at all of winning.

She takes another sip. It's not the time to lament. Over two hundred miko are under her command, all training for what will be an eminent war. Naraku wants to destroy them, but they will not make it easy for him.

Young, mature, experienced and inexperienced priestesses have gathered here. She called to them when she realized Naraku's plan. All of them saw their villages destroyed. Many others died defending them. From North, South, East, and West, the survivors have gathered here. When she's sure they can do remarkable damage, they will attack. If they are going to die, at least they'll fall with a purpose. She doesn't even know if they'll fight alone or if someone else is planning on turning against Naraku. Everything that's going on outside of her warily watched camp is a mystery.

"Mali-Sama…" A miko approaches her. "Emi, Tomoe, and Sayore have come back. They say one youkai is approaching with a girl. They're very close to entering the camp."

Mali turns her attention to her most trusted miko. "How powerful is he, Yurika?"

The brown haired miko tenses before replying. "They believe him to be very powerful. Tomoe is the best sensor, and she says she's never felt anything like it."

Mali smiles. "She's never felt Naraku, or Taisho."

"Taisho?"

"He used to be one of the strongest youkai. He had two sons, but they're dead."

Yurika nods. "What will you do, Mali-Sama?"

She stands up and turns in the direction of her tent. "Tell Emi to lead one group to their right and Sayore to take another one to the left. I want you to flank their front and Tomoe their back. Surround them, but don't do anything until I get there. I want to know what he knows about Naraku, and I'm interested in this girl. Did Tomoe comment about her?"

"No. She didn't feel anything."

"Get ready. We can't afford to let anyone know of our whereabouts."

* * *

"If you could be any animal, what would you be?"

It's like there's no end to her questioning. Sesshoumaru purposely stays quiet.

"Come on", she says, pouting, "You promised to answer my questions."

He thought she would eventually tire of asking questions, but once more, she has proven him wrong. He has to try very hard not to roll his eyes or sigh. He should have known by now. Kagome rarely tires from talking. He still keeps quiet, not because he wants to, but because he has never thought about it. She has such curious questions.

"Animal," she demands.

"Why would I want to be anything but what I am?

"Because that's how the game is played. Answer the question."

"Please?" There it is again, that damn pout.

"It's not a difficult question."

"Fine, be that way."

Kagome crosses her arms in front of her chest, points her nose to the sky, and does a great act of ignoring Sesshoumaru.

It lasts about ten seconds.

"So…" Kagome starts.

Sesshoumaru lets a humorous smile play at his lips. He knew she wouldn't be able to stand the silence for long.

"I'm bored," Kagome finally announces with an air of somberness, as if it was actually important.

"Bored?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

He can't really see how she can find the time to be bored. They're on constant alert, always moving, fighting every day, and never having time to relax. Their lives are anything but boring. Actually, the destiny of this world lay in their hands. How Kagome can find time to be bored is beyond him.

"You're not talking to me, and I have nothing to entertain myself with."

Sesshoumaru raises one of his perfect eyebrows. "Shouldn't you be sensing for demons?"

Kagome waves a hand. "I do that all the time. I don't even have to think about it anymore." She grins. "Besides, you are a demon."

"I'm your companion."

"Still a demon."

"Talk!" She whines.

Sesshoumaru finally understands that he is doomed to be surrounded by human females that don't understand the beauty of silence.

"About what?"

Cursed to please them for reasons beyond even his intelligence.

Kagome lets out a happy yelp and dedicates him a big smile. He feels better about being damned. "What would you do if you had to work with someone you didn't like?"

The youkai eyes her before smirking. "Kill them."

Kagome's eyes widen before she laughs. "Yes, well," and they are both aware that he did kill her, even if it was accidentally. "What if you can't kill them?"

"Why wouldn´t I?"

"Because there are laws that prohibit you to do so."

"I would kill whoever made those laws."

"I already told you, you can't kill."

"Come on." Kagome wonders how he would do in her time. Would everyone be terrified of him and just let him be? "You have to have another solution."

"Diplomacy," he says after a long pause.

Kagome stops walking and stares at him with pure confusion.

"What?" he says, a tiny bit exasperated.

"I didn't know you knew _that_ word."

"I was a Lord. I couldn't go around killing just anyone."

Kagome frowns. "Pity."

Now it's Sesshoumaru who stops. Yes, he thinks it was a pity, too. Especially considering more than half of the youkai he wanted to kill are with Naraku now. He doesn't think Kagome is thinking the same thing, though.

"I wish I could have seen you use diplomacy," she finishes.

* * *

"I _hate _diplomacy," The miko spits out, bow tensed, an arrow ready to fly at any second. If any one of them comes close, she'll annihilate them. Sesshoumaru is calculating every possible outcome besides her.

"Didn't you feel them?" Kagome asks him angrily.

Sesshoumaru remains serene and face blank besides her. "They are mikos. You should have felt them better than me. Besides, I thought you said you could feel them without thinking about it?"

"I meant youkai. I thought miko were supposed to be at the verge of extinction."

Considering there are at least fifty pointing their arrows at them, he is certain they're not.

Kagome really can't believe she is surrounded by so many miko with the intention of killing them. It is just her luck. Not only does she have youkai and hanyou barring her, now she has mikos. Wasn't she having a nice conversation with Sesshoumaru just an hour ago?

So much for that.

"A dog." Sesshoumaru suddenly says. Kagome, briefly, wonders if her mind has suddenly gone on vacation. She hopes not. It's certainly not the time for that.

"Excuse me?"

"I would be a dog, if I had to choose an animal."

Kagome fights the sudden urge to roll on the ground laughing. Of course it'd be a dog. Let Sesshoumaru choose the only animal he already kind of is. Instead of pointing it out, though, she smiles. Even though they could be attacked at any moment, Kagome is already used to that; Sesshoumaru manages to intrigue her more than anything that's happening around her.

She laughs.

"What is it now?" Sesshoumaru's curious voice asks.

"It's just…" Kagome explains. "Any surviving mikos are supposed to be dispersed, but here they are, against us." She smiles like the Cheshire Cat. "Life isn't boring at all."

Mali eyes the two intruders with narrowed eyes. Her grey eyes open in surprise as she realizes one of them is a miko. No wonder Tomoe didn't sense it. The girl hides her power almost impeccably.

"Hold fire!" she orders as she takes a step towards the intruders. Their attention is immediately on her, though she can tell they're still aware of their surroundings. They're definitely experienced, and there's something about the miko's power that's different to anything she has ever sensed before. The demon beside her is stronger than anyone they've come up against as well. A very dangerous combination. The miko's arrow is pointing directly at her head, and the youkai flexes his claws.

"If he is keeping you under force," she yells clearly at the miko. "Have no worries. We will defeat him."

The miko blinks, then laughs, as if the idea is hysterical. Mali's confusion grows.

"I can assure you…" the young miko says, her blue eyes fixed on her, "that I'm with him of my own will." The smile that has been playing on her lips turns into a grin. "And you wouldn't be able to protect me from him if I wasn't."

Mali is barely starting to form an answer when she finds the youkai at her neck. She didn't even blink. How could he move so fast? Before she can do anything, the miko builds a shield around them. Mali has never seen miko powers used this way. The youkai isn´t even tickling because of them.

"Let's use diplomacy," the youkai says. Mali glares at him. Fear is starting to creep on her, and it's been a long time since she's felt it.

The miko lands a hand playfully at his side. "I _love_ diplomacy."

**

* * *

**

**Uff, finally. So, what do you think? Review, I love to hear what you think about each development in the story.**


	18. The Witch and the Miko

**Chap. 18 finally up! Sorry, but I had some problems uploading this thing (really, it was hell to update this one chapter). But it's here, and I'll stop saying nonsense and let you go straight to the chapter.**

* * *

**Fragments of a Shattered Moon**

_**The Witch and the Miko**_

_To live long enough to see your friends became the enemy is the true sorrow of this world._

* * *

"You're not working with Naraku?"

"No." Sesshoumaru's tone leaves no room for doubt. Kagome can hear the implied 'Idiotic human, that's what I've been telling you for the past half hour.'

"Why would I believe you?" The miko Mali asks, gray eyes trying to see through Sesshoumaru. As if.

"You don't have any other option."

All eyes narrow, the youkai glares at the miko, the miko glares back, and all the other mikos tense around them. Kagome releases a big yawn.

Diplomacy is one hell of a tedious, boring job and Kagome is beginning to appreciate Sesshoumaru's 'kill anything that displeases' policy.

It's sure as hell faster than this.

"Look," Kagome finally says, "This is not getting us anywhere." The stupid shard had already moved away from her radar, and she wanted to get right on track again. "We're not with Naraku, we have no intention of ever working with Naraku, and we're wasting our time here so we're leaving…"

"You're in no position to leave." Kagome sends her an amused smile. "Really? Last time I checked, you were inside my shield, and your miko's wasted an incredible amount of arrows and energy just trying to break it. We're doing you this courtesy because we're curious."

"Still…"

"And I'm bored of listening to you and Sesshoumaru bicker back and forth, so…" Kagome moves closer to the older miko. "You're going to tell us what you're doing here, how long you've been doing it, and the purpose of it." Miko powers glow from Kagome's hand, and although she's fairly certain they can't hurt the miko, she makes it snap around her fingers. "Now."

Sesshoumaru's eyes shine with amusement, but his stance is tense, and he's ready to leap to her aid at any moment. She's been holding this for too long. Soon, her energy will fade, and it'll be up to Sesshoumaru. Regardless of how powerful he is, she doesn't want to leave him in that situation. They have to get out of here fast.

"I…" Mali says, but she finally lets out a sigh of defeat. "I will trust you on this." She says, looking only at Kagome. "Because you're a miko, regardless of your company." Mali aims a pointed look at Sesshoumaru before returning her attention to Kagome. "I expect something in return for my secrets."

"What would that be?" Sesshoumaru's deep voice asks.

"Turn off this shield, and tell us about you."

"Trust for trust?"

"Yes."

"No."

Mali eyes Sesshoumaru, and then her eyes run over Kagome. "I'm afraid in a few minutes you won't have any option." It's the priestess's turn to smile. Stupid powers that make her all tired. Kagome is beginning to look at them as some sort of curse. "You're strong, youkai. One of the strongest I've felt. I don't know exactly what you are, you hide well. And I can't tell much about her either. But even with all your power, we're many, and you'll have to worry about her." She folds her hands. "Her powers are fading. She's losing her energy, and she'll faint any second now. Lower your shields now, tell us about yourselves, and we'll do the same."

"I can't trust you." Sesshoumaru says.

"I can't trust you either, but I will."

"Give me one reason."

"Too many mikos have already died."

Kagome expects Sesshoumaru to just grab the miko by the neck and tell her to start talking or he'll rip her throat open. Too her surprise, he just eyes her for awhile before speaking again.

"You're old." A statement.

Mali smiles. "So are you."

Once again, they stare at each other, and Kagome feels excluded until Sesshoumaru gently touches her arm, as if reminding her that he's with her. It's something he does quite often. At first, it took her aback, but then she came to understand that Sesshoumaru, despite all assumptions, is a very touchy person. The shiver she still feels at his touch is as strong as the first time.

"Lower them."

Kagome grunts, opens her mouth to disagree, but Sesshoumaru stops her.

"Miko," He firmly says, "If one of the attacks, you are all dead."

Kagome lets out a loud sigh before doing as 'requested'.

The shield lowers, and Kagome expects them both to be filled with purifying arrows. Instead, two mikos bring a small table, teapot, and three cups.

"Tea?"

'Well,' Kagome thinks, 'it's official. This world is fucking crazy.'

It's the best tea she's ever had.

* * *

Despite Kagome's uneasiness towards Mali and her warning words, she takes the tea reflexively and her face brightens at the taste.

It's a strong reminder of how naive Kagome can be, even with how much she's changed and how different her mind works now. A part of her will always see the good side to everything and everyone, and he wonders if that has anything to do with her coming from the future or if it's something personal she's retained.

It worries him to the very core because for all they know, the tea could be poisoned. The mikos could suddenly kill them, or Naraku could pop out of a tree and laugh at their stupidity.

And all Kagome says is "Great tea! May I have more?"

Luckily, none of the above happens.

"How about you tell us your story?" Mali asks them.

"Not until we know what this is and who you are." Naraku already knows about them. No more information will be leaked.

Mali measures him before nodding. "Okay." She takes a long breath. "Yurika, send Emi and Tomoe on patrol and tell Sayore and Akiko to come." A brown haired miko nods and goes off. "As you can see, we're only miko here…"

"No." What they're doing here is quite clear. They're gathering all the mikos that remain and training them to fight against Naraku. Suspicion aside, Sesshoumaru doesn't think they work for the hanyou. The half youkai would rather kill them than have them turn against him. "I know what you're doing here. What I want to know is who you are." There's something wrong about this miko. She has old, youkai eyes and the smell of time around her. Unlike Kagome, her scent is not new and fresh, but aged. Like falling autumn leaves, whilst Kagome's is blooming flowers. "I also want to know if you know of more groups against Naraku." That young boy youkai didn't come from here. Obviously, groups are forming everywhere. Small, distrustful of any strangers, but against Naraku.

'Interesting,' He thinks. 'Very interesting.' His mind is already sorting the possibilities. He doesn't fancy working with anyone and doesn't trust anyone save Kagome at his side, but the idea of going into battle with more than just Kagome as backup is enticing. The young human leans against him and places her head on his arm.

"Sess?" she says, a nickname she uses when she feels lazy enough to say his whole name. She must be far more exhausted than he thought if she's using it before a stranger. "What are you talking about?"

Mali eyes the head on his arm, but Sesshoumaru does nothing to push her away. There's no sense in doing it. Kagome will only fight him until she gets her way, and they have more important things to do at the moment.

Instead, he gazes at the steel, gray eyes.

"She's not a normal miko." He answers.

* * *

Something about those yellow eyes and white hair is familiar. Extremely familiar. She has it on the tip of her tongue, ready to come any moment.

He drastically resembles someone she once knew, but who?

Despite her vast power, lengthy life, and all her experience, this youkai could kill her. Sure, she'd give him one hell of a fight, but this youkai is pure power. He's hiding more than ¾ of his power, and she can still feel his demonic aura smothering and strangling her own.

The miko at his side, however, is very comfortable with his presence. In all her time, she's never seen a miko and a youkai so familiar and comfortable with each other. In fact, that girl is more uneasy around her people than the youkai.

It's like she knows without doubt that this youkai will give his life away before letting anyone harm her, but how can she be so sure? Youkai are not to be trusted. They put themselves before the rest.

This youkai must have fooled her. After all, the miko is young, and by the way they act around each other, he must have found her when she was a little girl. It's likely she's brainwashed.

"She's not a normal miko." He says, golden eyes fixed on hers with an intensity she hadn't seen in a long while.

Mali smiles.

"No, I'm not." Another sip. "How did you know?"

"Your eyes and your scent."

"What do you smell?"

"Time."

And now, Mali throws her head back and laughs. "Well, aren't you bright? Before I tell you my biggest secret, won't you at least tell me your names?"

The miko opens her mouth, but the youkai speaks before her, efficiently stopping her. Mali's curiosity increases.

"I'm Sesshoumaru Taisho."

The tea goes the wrong way, and Mali coughs a few times before regaining composure.

Akiko pats her back, "Mali-Sama…" She says worriedly, but Mali shakes her off.

"I'm okay, don't worry." Akiko nods and steps back.

"You're supposed to be dead." There's accusation in her eyes, almost like betrayal. It's stupid; she knows it, but…

Stupid Taisho never told his sons about her. This white haired, golden eyed youkai that is his son, his eldest, has never heard of her.

She knows youkai are never to be trusted, but after the favor she did for him? The least he could have done was tell her sons about her.

When she dies, she's going to make Taisho's afterlife hell.

"I'm supposed to be a lot of things." He says. She swears there's enjoyment in those eyes, but his expression is so blank she can't be sure.

"I'm Mali." No last name. There's no use of it, not after so long. There is no recognition in his eyes, and Mali curses Taisho again. She wanted to stay hidden for the world so Atsuki never found her, but she never wanted to be hidden from his family.

"Your father…" She says, furious, "is an idiot." Now there's definitely amusement, but he is so cold…how can Taisho's son be ice? "Did you know..:" She pauses for a moment, a small, almost evil smile forms on her lips. "He used to talk all the time about you and…"

Before she can finish, Sesshoumaru has her by the neck. She didn't expect it, and he moved so fast…

Mali doesn't blink or move. 'Ah', she thinks, 'Touchy subject.' After all, if Taisho had the indecency to never talk about her to his sons, she has all the right to push his bottoms.

"How did you know him?" He snaps.

"I thought you wanted to know about me?" She gestures her mikos to stay where they are. Sesshoumaru's eyes swirl with anger, and his grip tightens.

"Don't play with me."

"If you're alive…is your younger brother too? Or did you not save him? Your father believed you would protect him, at least until he was old enough to protect himself."

The youkai snarls, his claws are about to reach and rip her skin, but just as they're about to, a smaller hand closes around it, and the girl whispers something in his ear. The demon relaxes, withdraws, and settles for staring at Mali with utter hate.

The miko's blue eyes shine with anger. "Inuyasha is dead." She says, her voice cracking at the end. Mali contemplates the emotions that pass through those blue eyes.

'It's the grief of love.' The thought appears, lingers, and leaves her with surprise. 'But…' The miko is still at Sesshoumaru's side, holding his hand, and she's furious at Mali for offending him. In fact, she looks like she's second guessing her decision to stop him. 'This girl…' Mali thinks, 'This girl feels too much for Taisho's older son to ever have felt anything for the youngest.'

Yet…

There was unmistakable pain in her voice when she mentioned Inuyasha's death. The kind of pain that scarred you for life and came to haunt you when you least expect it.

She should know.

"Now, tell us who you are."

Mali contemplates the miko before answering. "I was born almost five hundred years ago."

* * *

_Mali and Atsuki were born on the same day, at the exact same minute, in the same village. Two strong cries were heard throughout the village, and the two mothers had thought 'This can't be good.'_

_After all, Mali was born of a strong miko, and she was to follow her mother's footsteps in continuing to protect the village. Atsuki, on the other hand, was born of a powerful witch, and was also supposed to protect the village._

_In the past, the mothers had clashed, and the village had almost separated because of their conflicts. Two strong women were too much for one little village. Both had made an agreement that the oldest would stay and the youngest would leave the village, but both were the same age to the second._

_They feared the worst._

_The two girls, however, knew nothing of this, and grew up to be as close as friends could get. In the privacy of little girl's worlds, the called each other sisters._

_Mali was graceful and beautiful. The whole village was proud of her achievements, and applauded her every triumph._

_In that time, youkai were few, not that powerful, and miko's were more like detectors of them than warriors. They informed the village leaders when one was approaching, and then the village sent the best fighters after them._

_Mikos knew nothing of getting blood on their hands, so Mali grew to be the pretty girl of the village, a talented miko, and full of joy and love._

_Atsuki was a completely different story. She was dull when compared to her friend, and witches at that time dealt with the dirty part of the job. While mikos detected and fighters killed, it was up to the witches to get rid of the body and make sure no trail was left. They worked in the shadows, and no one wanted to know what they did._

_Yes, they were useful, but their job was not pretty, and the villagers ignored it._

_Atsuki grew to be a powerful witch always unappreciated, always compared to Mali, always found lacking._

_Still, she loved Mali like a sister. When times got tough and no one wanted her, it was Mali that was there for her. Mali defended her, never ignored her, told her how great she was and how her job was just as important as hers._

_Atsuki could ignore the world so long as she had Mali on her side, and so everything was fine, and the troubles their mothers had anticipated did not emerge._

_Until he came._

_They found him lying under a tree, exhausted and dehydrated. Mali and Atsuki immediately brought him to the village, where Mali took care of him, as was her job._

_He had long, black hair, white skin, a strong, muscular body, and Mali stayed day and night taking care of him. There was something about him that drew her to him, and try as she might, she couldn't separate herself from his side._

_On the twelfth night, he opened his eyes and Mali was entranced in the deep green that reminded her of the forest._

_She was lost to him in a heartbeat._

_His name was Tetsou. He remembered nothing of his past, was not much of a warrior, but he was intelligent. He made artifacts that made daily things easier, and taught the warriors how to make weapons that would last against a battle with youkai. He possessed an elegance none at the village had seen, and a warmth no one could resist. He was gentle with everyone and loved Mali from the moment he opened his eyes to find her worrying over him. He treated Atsuki with special kindness because he knew how important she was to his beloved._

_He was a blessing to the village and a curse to Atsuki._

_She was left to the side, no longer necessary, and although Mali told her she was like her sister, every day she was lonelier. She stood from the side watching Mali glow and Tetsou love her. And she loved Tetsou with all she had, with a passion she had never felt, only to receive small smiles and petty words as he saw only Mali._

_All his love was for Mali._

_As always, Mali had everything._

_She knew, in this life, in the next life, in any other future, Tetsou would still only love Mali._

_Jealously finally found its way into Atsuki's heart, and one day, she simply disappeared._

_Mali looked for her everywhere with Tetsou at her side, but it was like she had vanished to thin air._

_After one year, eleven months, three weeks, and two days, Mali fell to her knees and finally made up her mind that Atsuki would never come back. She went back to the village, and although she was happy with Tetsou, a small part of her mourned her lost sister._

_And then, one day, out of nowhere, a storm formed. Rain poured down, lightening boomed wildly, and Atsuki appeared through all the panic._

_At first, Mali couldn't believe it. Then she ran towards Atsuki, embracing her, happy even in the midst of the storm._

_Atsuki hugged her back. Her hard skin could not feel warmth. From the corner of her eye, she saw Tetsou running towards them, and Atsuki's gaze turned as black as the deepest abyss._

_Her eyes set on Tetsou, surprised to see her there._

"_Atsuki…" He said, a half smile forming, confused in the middle of all the chaos. Atsuki walked to him with no hurry, and before anyone could move, before anyone suspected what was happening, she stabbed him straight in the heart._

"_Feel loneliness, hate me as I hate you. Think of me as much as I think of you. Lose what I never had and always wanted."_

* * *

"Atsuki became too powerful. My village was destroyed, and I had no means to stop her, so I left to find help, and that's where I met your father. He was young then, and didn't care much for anything, really. But he saw me, my distress, and something must have moved in him because he decided to help me. Together, we stopped Atsuki before she could do any more damage, but before we sealed her, she escaped. I swore to not die until I stopped her. I shouldn't have gone so lightly. A few years after that, I heard the rumor that Atsuki had discovered how to live as long as youkai, so I set to find her, again with Taisho's help. We planned to kill her, but something went wrong. She cast the spell too soon, and I got trapped in it."

"You live as long as a youkai."

"And so does she."

"And the powers both of you have…"

"After five hundred years, you learn new tricks, practice, grow, and you get to be as powerful as us."

"She's helping Naraku."

"Yes, I believe she somehow managed to get the pearl to work."

"Can we still complete it and make it disappear?"

Mali sighs. "Yes, if we find the Shikon no Tama miko. Regardless of what Atsuki's done to it, its miko still has more control over it."

Sesshoumaru looks at the miko before nodding. "And my father?"

For the first time, Mali smiles warmly. "He helped me, so I helped him. We protected each other until he became too powerful to have a miko as his friend, and I needed to stay in the shadows. I couldn't surprise Atsuki if I stayed with him, but we helped each other every once on a while."

"You don't trust any youkai."

"Your father," Mali's face is serious, and Kagome finally sees the years in her eyes. "Helped me, and I helped him. It was business. I helped him become powerful, and he helped me become anonymous." Her face relaxes a little. "He wrote to me about you. He was so proud." Beside him, Kagome tenses, and she knows what he is thinking.

Sesshoumaru's father never once said he was proud of him.

"And he came to see me when Inuyasha was born. I knew that day, that I would never hear from him again. He had the look of a man who knows he's going to die. He asked me to look after you, a last favor to an old business partner."

"I suppose you broke your promise?"

Mali laughs, all bitter and not happy. "Of course I did. He knew I would. I may have helped him, but once he was dead, my connection to youkai was also dead." She frowns. "I would at least have expected him to talk to you about me, if he had expected me to follow his last request. The bastard, you never knew about me." And her face morphs once again, this time into a grin. "You would have attacked without a second thought."

"Yes." Sesshoumaru's affirmative only makes her grin widen.

"Told you no youkai can be trusted. Now, I've told you about me." Mali says with finality.

Kagome notices for the first time how tired she looks. If she had to recall how her best friend betrayed her or how her lover died, she would, too. Still, Kagome knows exactly what kind of miko she is. Hard as stone, will of iron, ready to do whatever is needed of her.

Just like Kikyo, with the addition of the five centuries already lived. Isn't life funny? The same amount of years Kagome traveled in time.

"I'm…" Kagome eyes Sesshoumaru before answering. She's not comfortable with telling her who she is. Most definitely not in front of so many mikos. Sesshoumaru squeezes her hand; his eyes warm just the slightest bit which, for some weird reason, makes her want to giggle. Of course, now is not the time for it, so she swallows the urge and nods. One step towards Mali, then another, and Kagome drops to her knees and brings her mouth close to her ear.

Sure, she'll trust Mali, but that doesn't mean she has to trust the two guards or the young, restless miko hovering over Mali.

Only Sesshoumaru has her complete trust.

"…from the future. Around five hundred years, really. Oh, and I'm the Shikon no Tama miko." She steps back and goes back to sit besides Sesshoumaru. "Thought you should know, considering who our enemy is."

Mali's eyes are still wide because of her words, and then they narrow. Not the first reaction she expected, considering what she just said.

"You are not Kikyo."

And with just four words, Kagome feels her insides turn ice cold and something inside her twists.

No, no, no, no, no…

She will not…she can't…

"Where is she?"

Kagome tries to answer, but her mouth is dry, and she can't do this again.

"She's dead." It's Sesshoumaru's voice, but it sounds far away. All the feelings she kept repressed, the things she buried deep inside her mind, and the insecurities Sesshoumaru took away just by being at her side…

"Yes, but she was revived, and…" Mali's eyes suddenly turn to Kagome, recognition entering them… "And she shared her soul…"

"No." The words come out of her mouth without her consent. "We didn't share the same soul. I just had hers in my body for a while, but it's gone." And she can see in Mali's eyes that their last hope is also gone.

They want Kikyo. In their eyes, Kikyo is the Shikon no Tama miko, and there is no room for someone like Kagome.

She's not enough.

"Then you're Kikyo's reincarnation? You're the Kikyo from the future?"

'Not enough', Kagome thinks. 'I'm never going to be good enough. I'm nothing if I'm not linked to Kikyo. Kagome doesn't exist to them.' And even crueler thoughts 'Sesshoumaru would have a better chance of revenge if it was Kikyo at his side. Hell, he'd have been done with it. I'm so _useless_…'

"Just Kagome." Everything is crashing down. She can see Inuyasha looking for Kikyo in her face, Naraku wondering why there were two Kikyo's, every single person she encountered always looking for the other miko. "I'm Kagome Higurashi. Kikyo is dead, and there is nothing left of her in me." They were so different. If it was not for their looks, no one would have been able to link them together.

Kagome had always been the lacking one, and now was no exception.

"I'm the Shikon no Tama miko now."

Mali's words cut deep into her soul. "Then we will fail."

Never enough.

Kagome stands up and runs as far away from any living thing as she can.

* * *

Sesshoumaru won't stop following her, and she doesn't have any energy left to keep it up.

"I am no one!" She finally stops, turns around, and yells at him. She's on the brink of fainting. Running around this stupid miko camp she can't seem to get out of isn't helping. "I am but a copy! An imitation of past selves, never me. Kagome doesn't exist to any of you…"

Not to Inuyasha.

Not to Sesshoumaru.

Not even to fucking Kagura or Mali.

She falls to her knees.

And she knows it is true.

Will Naraku look at her and find her nonthreatening because she's no Kikyo?

She's just her copy. She was just a reflection of what once was to Inuyasha.

And she's Rin's copy to Sesshoumaru. She can see the same look on his face that Inuyasha had when he looked at her. They see her, but do not really see her. They see the other one, the person that she could be; the ones they've lost, and Kagome is left forgotten.

Always someone else. Never herself.

She shuts her eyes, willing him to stop looking at her.

She doesn't know why, but she wants Sesshoumaru to see her, and she knows he won't. It hurts, but it shouldn't…

"Idiot." He says, and his tone is not as cold as it usually is. She looks up. "You could never be Rin."

Kagome is absolutely certain that if he had just stabbed her it would have been less painful than his words.

He grabs her chin, forcing her to look at him directly at the eye, at those golden orbs that are no longer a reminder of Inuyasha but purely Sesshoumaru.

They might look the same, but they could never be it, and she used to be breathless when she looked into Inuyasha's eyes, but Sesshoumaru's calm her, and she needs that peace so much…

Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru are not the same. They're just from the same family, and now Inuyasha is gone. He can no longer support her, but Sesshoumaru has. Is. Will.

In the darkest moments of her life, it was not Inuyasha, but Sesshoumaru who stayed by her side. It was Sesshoumaru who did not let her fall, who pulled her up, who has not left her…

Their eyes are not the same, and though she (and though she may sometimes think of Inuyasha) thinks a little of Inuyasha when she looks into those golden orbs, she thinks mostly of the youkai.

She thinks more of the youkai now than of Inuyasha.

"Do you see Inuyasha in me?" He asks, and Kagome is so surprised, she doesn't know what to say except, "What?"

"Do you see Inuyasha when you see me?"

"No, of course not." She doesn't have to think to answer that one.

"But we are half brothers."

"You are different."

"I sometimes remind you of him."

"I…" She cannot lie to him. "Yes." She hides her face in shame, and he tilts her chin back up again.

"It is the same with me. You sometimes remind me of Rin, but I do not see her when I look at you. I see you, Kagome…" Her name is said like a caress, and she can't help the gasp that escapes her. Her name on his lips is a confirmation of her existence. Like he can see her right through the image of Kikyo and Rin. "So you are someone." He continues. "You are Kagome."

And Kagome closes her eyes, allowing her name on his lips to fill her, to give her back her identity, then she opens them and smirks his way.

"I knew that." If she said nothing, she would just feel stupid.

She can see that half smile on his lips, and she gives him one in return.

"I have one question, though." He says.

"Shoot."

"…" His face contorts in confusion.

"Future expression."

He just stares at her before deciding to let it go. "You've always said Kikyo was stronger. Why didn't you try more when you were in Inuyasha's group?"

"Try?"

"To be stronger, to be more like her."

"Why?" She gives him the look that says 'You're such an idiot I can't believe I'm with you.' She bits her lip, runs a hand through her hair. "I did try. I just wasn't good enough. She was always stronger, way more apt for this miko job. Mali knows it. Everyone knows it. She would have been so much better at saving the world and all." With a wave of her hand, as if she's trying to diminish her words to make them not important. "If she had survived, you'd probably have had your revenge by now."

"I beg to differ."

"You…differ?" Kagome's face is the definition of disbelief.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because…"

"Sesshoumaru…"

"Because you are good. You. Just like you are. She would not be able to do the things you do." She's never been able to protect a youkai. They were the enemy, and nothing more. Kikyo lacked Kagome's view of the world. It was all black and white, good and evil. Kagome sees the layers in between. After all she's been through; she still sees the good in people. Even if it's harder now, she still tries.

"Are you complimenting me?"

"I'm merely stating a fact."

"Mmm." She looks thoughtful as she tries to digest his words. Sesshoumaru allows her this moment. "You really believe it?" Her voice is full of hope that fails to be hidden.

"Yes." He wouldn't have said it if he didn't believe it.

"I believe you believe what you just said."

"…"

"And I believe what you say."

"Oh?" She's lost him.

A winning smile brightens her face, and Sesshoumaru begins to believe that being lost is not bad at all. "I believe you believe I'm good enough for this. _I'm_ good enough to do this."

She is Kagome Higurashi, and she'll be damned if she lets anyone think anything else of her. He is Sesshoumaru Taisho, and she never knew he could have so many layers to his personality.

Sesshoumaru just sighs again as she does what she calls a 'dance victory'.

She still doesn't get it. She's more than good enough. She is exactly what they need. No other miko could compare to her.

* * *

"I'm not Kikyo."

Mali looks away from the sparring mikos and to Kagome.

"Yes." Mali says. "We've already stated that fact." And the fact that Kagome was not what they needed. Kikyo had been their last hope. The miko's reputation was widely known. She had been exactly what every miko should be; intelligent, sharp, powerful, controlled, and with an immense amount of spiritual energy.

Kagome is powerful, but she doesn't have the skills that Kikyo did, and she definitely doesn't have any control over her miko powers.

For God's sake, her miko powers are so different from anyone else's that they can't even teach her properly.

They protect Sesshoumaru, who is the epitome of youkai. His presence should send shivers down her back. Her miko powers should jump with an urge to destroy him, and they should definitely, under no circumstance, regardless of the situation, protect him.

They can't win against Naraku with a miko that would rather defend a youkai than trust a priestess.

"You knew Atsuki, and I'm not blaming you for not stopping her earlier."

Mali raises an eye-brow. "You know Atsuki?"

"Witch with a bad attitude and too much power? Yep, met her some weeks before you. She was with an old…acquaintance."

"And you survived?"

Kagome grins."I'm good at surviving."

Sesshoumaru is a few meters away, watching their every move. Mali nods. "You also seem good at gaining powerful allies."

The young miko turns to look at Sesshoumaru and her grin turns into a smile. "See…," She starts, "Here's the deal. We tell you the dark secrets of our past and how we came to be, and you tell us all you know about Atsuki and how she's helping Naraku."

"You're not…"

Kagome waves a hand. "Kikyo, yes, believe me, I _know_, but you see," Kagome's blue eyes are sharp, confident, and strong when she looks into Mali's. "I'm all you have, and you're fortunate I'm willing to cooperate. So do me a favor. Get over the Kikyo fact, and start working with me."

Mali stares at the miko in front of her for a long time. No experience, too young, and way too much spirit.

Yet she somehow managed to get Sesshoumaru to be her bodyguard, survived Atsuki, and kept more than fifty mikos from even scratching them.

Mali's mind is made up. "I think I can work with that."

Kagome snorts. "As if you had a choice."

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed it! Sorry for the long wait, and I swear I'm already working on the next chapter. Please review! You make my day every time you do.**


	19. Pieces of a Puzzle

**Fangirlsel – Thanks for enjoying it so much! Hahaha, of course you can read more.**

**AllySan – Mali es como…tu aliada que quisieras que fuera tu enemiga pero sabes que no lo va a hacer. Sin embargo, es buena, en el fondo, y si quiere ayudarlos.**

**Marrisca: Oh, Mali is not that bad…think of her as the highly irritating ally. Oh, and enjoy KagSess moment in this chap.**

**Monkeygirl2010 – Thanks! I try to keep the characters as they are, but figure out how they would act if they were put in different situations, and work with that. You know, play with them.**

**Zero-serenity – oh, wait for next chapter…that is plot thickening.**

**Saoirse Driscol – Yeah…you'll want to crush her even more, but remember, she is good…even if she likes to irritate the both.**

**XxthenextbookwormXx – You met Atsuki when Kagura attacked them. She was with her, and I think I talked about her before.**

**Carmen –Oh my, I hope you did good on your exams.**

* * *

_**Fragments of a Shattered Dream**_

_**Pieces of a Puzzle**_

"_What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others." _

– _Pericles_

_

* * *

_

_It's time to get help._

_The situation has gotten out of hand. Perhaps, it escaped her from the_ _moment she laid eyes on Tetsou, or when the village put her on the pedestal as Mali was kicked to the mud. Maybe it was when they were born and their mothers thought the worst._

_Would all this have happened if they had been separated? Would Atsuki still have_ _become evil, regardless of the environment around her?_

_Mali believes in choices. Everyone is born with the choice to do right. No matter how they are treated, they still have a choice. In the end, it all comes down to the options you were presented with and the choice you made._

_How could Atsuki haven chosen so wrongly? Was it Mali's fault? Could she have done something different to help her?_

_All the signs were there, but she was blind or stubborn or…_

_Could she have stopped it? Could she have stopped Atsuki before she did all the horrible things she did? Would she have?_

_Damn it all, she loved Atsuki. She was family, her best friend. They were sisters in every way. All they lacked was blood ties. She stood by her side when no else would, and she did it because it_ _was natural. She never listened to what everyone else said. She always tried to do the best_ _for Atsuki, and where did that leave Mali? What happened to them both?_

_Mali's village was destroyed. There was nothing she could do about it because, despite how 'powerful' a miko she is, Atsuki is a witch. A very powerful witch who knows how to control the weather, and who knows what else? All Mali can do is cure humans and sense demons. She can't even kill them! It was always the strong men they send after the youkai, and Atsuki they sent to get rid of the bodies. She only pointed the direction to go._

_Had she deserved all the awe the village had for her? She had always thought Atsuki deserved more, yet she said nothing all this time._

_And now, the_ _village is nothing but remains_ _and Tetsou…_

_Kami, what will she do without him?_ _Her throat closes up, her chest contracts, and her hands sweat. How can she control this desperation that fills her body? How many more tears can she shed until she's left dry?_

_Even when he was unconscious and she knew nothing of him, he pulled her towards him. She stayed day and night at his side because she couldn't tear her eyes away from him, and when he woke up…_

_There was nothing she could have done to stop it. They were simply two souls meant to be, made for each other, and put into the world, incomplete until they found each other._

_He was gentle and kind, intelligent beyond belief. An inventor amongst warriors, and he was so refreshing, so tender and beautiful, how could she not be drawn to him?_

_Someone should have known._

_No village, no sister, no love…_

_She has nothing left. Her whole life has shattered._

_But her grief has to wait. So does her anger. And the naivety and innocence she possessed have to leave her forever. She has to rid herself of the girl she used to be to become the enemy that can bring down Atsuki._

_It kills her inside. This is murder. She has to destroy all that is her, so she has a chance to stop Atsuki._

_What hurts more? Losing Tetsou? Losing Atsuki? Having to kill both her and herself?_

_What_ hurts _more?_

_She needs help._

_She hates having to go to him, but she can't do this alone._

_And she's so alone…_

_

* * *

_

"_So, what's a small miko like you doing here?"_

_Mali's gray eyes glare at the youkai in front of her. He has his back to her, his shoulders are relaxed, and his tone is mocking._

_Nothing about her inspires fear in him. Hell, he's not even slightly worried about having a natural enemy at his back._

"_Is it normal for youkai to be reckless around their enemy?"_

_The youkai actually snorts. "Little miko, why would you pose any danger to me?"_

"_Because…" Mali's good excuse dies on her lips._

_The youkai's laughter makes her want to puke. "You're just a miko. The only thing you can do is direct warriors towards demons." Mali is about to protest, but the youkai continues. "Oh, sorry. I forgot, you have some knowledge in treating people."_

"_Curing them." Mali's voice is tight and angry._

"_Whatever you prefer."_

_The miko's hands tighten into fists. She's trying to kill him with just her eyes, but it's not working._

_And he's right. She can't do this, which is exactly why she's here. It's not like this is easy for her. First, she had to ask numerous mikos for help that wanted nothing to do with angering Atsuki, and definitely nothing to do with a miko looking for a youkai._

_It's unnatural for them to work together._

_It's also her only choice. She can't forgive what her goddamned ex-best friend did to her village. The anger and pain and such devastating sadness at losing Tetsou can't go unpunished._

"_Look. You want to become powerful, and I need help, so maybe, even if it'll be almost impossible, we'll find some way to gain something from_ _each other."_

_Finally, the youkai turns around. Mali can't suppress her surprise as she sees him._

_He's the most beautiful creature she has seen. Why do evil beings get to be so gorgeous?_

_And those eyes, those golden eyes…_

_They cut straight through her gray ones, and she's never seen eyes that intense and bright. And, why do they resemble the goddamn sun? _

'_Well, this should at least be interesting,' Mali sarcastically thinks._

_"Well, at least you're not repulsive__."_

_Did she say gorgeous? That his eyes take her breath away? __She can't understand how. He's the most horrible being she'll ever meet, and they're never going to succeed because, most likely, they'll kill each other before this is over._

_As if reading her thought, he snickers and throws his head back to laugh wildly._

_She dislikes him even more, missing Tetsou's calm like never before, as she grieves and hates Atsuki._

* * *

Their team work is impeccable.

If Mali hadn't seen it with her own eyes, she wouldn't believe it. The only other miko that ever worked with a youkai was her, and they fought every bit of the way. She was more than surprised when she heard he'd fallen in love with a human, and she thought she might finally have gone delusional when he came to her before he died.

After all, they were never friends, just two people working towards the same objective.

What they had was far from this synchronized…perfection.

She still would have hoped he at least talked to his sons about her. After all, he would have never gotten so powerful, gained such respect, and built such an empire if it wasn't for her. She got him started in the right path.

Ungrateful fool.

Sesshoumaru and Kagome, though…

It's more than just partnership. Mali is certain they even sometimes forget exactly what they were fighting for initially.

And it's a beautiful thing to see, even if a great part of her mind thinks that it's just wrong for a miko and a human to work together, let alone be such a big part of each other.

But, hell, they're an inspiration. The perfect team. Unfortunately, they can't seem to work with anyone else.

They tried. Sesshoumaru was put with some mikos to see how he would do with them. It was only Kagome's quick thinking that kept them from being killed. Then, they tried it with Kagome, but she couldn't concentrate, never once connected with another miko, and didn't even try. Besides, Sesshoumaru refused to move far from where she was training, so every miko was a mess of nerves.

Mali secretly thinks that they _can_ work with other people. They just don't want to…and they want to irritate her.

Mali sighs, and approaches them. Usually, she would have sent someone for them, but these two didn't take kindly on that. Kagome yelled at her about how "We're not your subordinates!" and "If you want to talk to us come get us yourself," and decided to ignore her calls until she went personally.

The two look at each other from their positions across the field and simultaneously walk to her.

Sesshoumaru with grace and Kagome slumping her feet all the way.

"I think I know why your powers are different," she tells them before they can open their mouths. It usually ends in one of the three angry and nothing done.

"Oh, finally," Kagome says as Akiko brings her some water. "Thanks." She flashes a smile to the girl. Akiko blushes in embarrassment. The young miko decided Kagome was her new hero and would do anything to make her stay more comfortable. "I thought you were never going to figure it out."

Mali represses the urge to slap some respect into the Kagome. Sesshoumaru would rip her hand apart before it got anywhere near Kagome's face…or she had a chance to purify it.

"Should we sit?"

They get settled and Mali shares her reasonings.

"So…" An hour later, Kagome looks thoughtful at this new information. "My powers…evolved because I needed them to?"

"Yes."

"But you were born without the ability."

Mali's mouth is a fine line as she concentrates on the best way to explain this. "No, they were always there," she begins. "The…ability to use them. Miko back then just didn't know they could. We didn't need to. Fighting with youkai wasn't that common. Both humans and youkai were still trying to find their place in this world. It was when they started fighting that mikos starting sensing, and when youkai became stronger, mikos discovered new abilities, like purifying. I actually purified my first demon when he was about to kill me. Taisho was occupied fighting someone else, and I found myself at the brink of death…with Atsuki still alive."

"So you could all do what I do?"

"No, we have inhibitions you don't."

"Inhibitions?"

"You didn't grow up in this era. For you, youkai, human, hanyou…it's all the same. They're no better or worse than you. They're not your enemy, and either one can be good or evil."

She sends a small look Sesshoumaru's way. He looks as indifferent as always, but is keeping his eyes on her.

He's interested.

"Your miko powers respond to that. They can protect Sesshoumaru, build shields, destroys the weapons of your enemy, and still purify and seal youkai because you don't differentiate between any of them. For you, there are enemies and allies."

"What about the miko power in my hands and all that?"

"You have such control over them that you can channel them to your hands."

"Like an arrow?"

"Exactly."

"Oh, I must have gotten that when I was training with you," she tells Sesshoumaru before turning back to Mali. "Why do they exhaust me?"

"You concentrate too hard, and your powers are getting used to not killing but protecting a youkai. To you, it is normal, but to your miko side, it's not."

"But it's only with Sesshoumaru…"

"Because your only true ally is him. Out of all of us…I think you believe no one can totally be trusted except for him. Am I right?" To her credit, Kagome doesn't try to deny it. "You already make yourself vulnerable by exposing yourself so completely to someone else. I don't even think your powers will hurt him. It's like…" Before she can say 'It's like he's a part of you.' Kagome interrupts her.

"But I couldn't do it before."

"Did you use your miko powers in your time?"

"There was no need."

"Well, that's why. They had to work naturally, at first. Even if you don't discriminate, you're still a miko. They'd work like any others until you were acquaintance enough to with them."

"So…" Kagome looks a bit disappointed. "Could you remove your inhibitions and do what I do?"

Mali doesn't laugh, but she feels like it. "No, no other miko would ever be able to defend a youkai. I'm afraid we've all lived with too much prejudice, and that's not going to change. I don't even think anyone from your time could do it."

Kagome measures the words in her mind then smiles. "Okay."

Mali is taken aback. "Okay?"

"Yeah," she sighs. "It's not like I was that interested. I just wanted to know why they tired me so, and now I do." She smiles Sesshoumaru's way. "I'll go walk a little, see you later?" Sesshoumaru grabs her hand before she leaves. "Other mikos will be with me, and I won't get lost."

He gives her a pointend look before letting go and moving himself.

"Oh, Sesshoumaru," Mali stops him, "may I have a quick work with you?"

It's time to clear some things up.

* * *

Sesshoumaru, once more, has no idea how he ended up in this situation.

Mali and the other miko with brown eyes stare at him, knowing looks on their faces.

As far as he is concerned, that look does not belong there because they do not know him, and if he has any say, they will never know him as anything more than an ally. A very displeased ally. In fact, if he had any other options, he would rather be rid of all the miko and stay with just Kagome.

But the damn human has taken a liking to them. He doesn't think she would be too happy if he got rid of them. And they do make for powerful supporters, if only because they can purify demons by just a touch if they are stronger than the youkai. This is all Naraku's fault, and he adds this to his long list of reasons why he'll kill him. It's surprising, the rate at which that list seems to grow.

"Is there any reason why we're here?" he finally asks with a voice as bored as his expression.

"Yes," Mali says, contemplates for a moment, and continues. Whatever she wants, it must be a touchy subject. Considering who they both are, it's not surprising. "Did you kidnap Kagome when she was little?" she finally blurts, and Sesshoumaru can only blink for a few moments.

"Excuse me?" He's getting old. His hearing must be failing him. And here he thought he would have at least 800 years before that happened.

"I asked if you kidnapped Kagome when she was little. There's no other way a human, a miko, would trust you so completely."

Sesshoumaru's bored expression stays right in place, but his heart…

"_Sesshoumaru-sama…"_

His mind…

"_Stay here."_

"_But Rin doesn't want to be without Sesshoumaru-sama."_

He tries not to think about her. Every day, when he wakes up, he dedicates the smallest moment to her memory, and then he lets go and works on the day ahead. Otherwise, his mind would take him to the past over and over again, to when his little girl was alive, and her laughter accompanied him. He always pretended he was annoyed by it, but the truth is…

_The human girl smiles at him with broken teeth, presenting him with a single white flower. Her smile widens when his eyes go from the flower to her, and he can't understand why she's not running for her life._

_It's like she believes she's only safe with Sesshoumaru._

He would do almost anything to hear her laugh one more time.

His voice reflects nothing of his thoughts, but his eyes…

Mali can't understand the haunted look that invades him, and when he looks at her, his eyes are cold and hard as steel.

"No, I did not kidnap Kagome." His voice lacks emotion, except that haunted look still lingers in his eyes.

"There is no way she can trust you that much, unless you've had her since she was a child!" Her outrage is evident in her voice. Despite what is barely showing in his face, she can't accept his words.

"She didn't trust me at first." It's kind of ironic, exactly just how much they didn't tolerate each other at the start. Because at the very beginning, she would have done anything for Inuyasha. Sesshoumaru doesn't want to think it, can't bear the thought, but the question always comes at the worst possible times.

If the hanyou was alive, if he suddenly appeared again, would she still stand between them?

Would she be on his side or on Inuyasha's?

Who would she choose?

"She was with Inuyasha." Not saying it is erasing a part of her past. It'd also bedisrespectful to the girl she once was to deny her relationship with the hanyou. "She loved him." A pause. "Maybe still does." For all he knows, that is the truth.

And he truly does wish he was emotionless because then it would not hurt. It's not supposed to. Kagome loving his half brother is not even supposed to annoy him, and yet it feels like he's been stabbed a thousand times when he says it.

"She met Inuyasha first. Kagome and I…met halfway." Or when they lost all they had, either one works.

"But…"

Well, if he's unburying past truths, he might as well not forget his biggest one. "I did once take a human girl under my wing." Broken, dead, and healed by him. His own little girl. His child, even if he never acknowledged it. "She came to me because no one else would take her, and I took her for reasons beyond my comprehension."

"_Sesshoumaru-Sama, isn't this pretty?"_

He let her stay because she made everything less dull, more pure.

"And now she's gone."

"_Kagome…find Kagome before it's too late…"_

She tried to help him until the very end.

"Don't ask questions that have no purpose for defeating Naraku." His voice is back to its iron quality, just as his eyes. He leaves without saying another word.

Mali contemplates his form as it retreats.

A smile forms on her lips.

Oh, no, Sesshoumaru and Taisho are not different at all. The son is just too stubborn to admit just how much he is like his father.

It really is a pity he can only feel strongly for so few people.

* * *

"How could you ask him that?"

"Excuse me?" Mali turns towards Kagome, who is angry as hell.

"Do you have any idea…how could you ask him if he kidnapped me? Have you no sense? Don't you…" Mali's eyes are confused, and it suddenly occurs to Kagome that she doesn't know. Of course she doesn't know about Rin. "He didn't kidnap me."

Mali's words are spoken carefully. "I know. He told me. He also said he saved a human girl, but he never mentioned what happened to her."

Kagome's eyes are haunted, too, Mali notices. The younger miko is surprised Sesshoumaru told her that much. "He killed her." She says, and her voice is dark and sad and so very far away.

"Excuse me?" Mali's voice is disbelieved. "But he…how could he…then he's…"

Kagome's eyes are blue fire. "Just, shut up!" she spits out. "You don't understand anything. You don't get it, and you have no right to judge him."

"He killed an innocent girl!"

"No," Kagome says firmly. "He did what he had to do. Rin, the girl, she was already dead. Whatever was left of her was going to be taken away. Naraku got to her. He implanted a false shard to keep her alive until Sesshoumaru got there. If he…if he hadn't killed her when he did, she would have become a puppet to him. Only a tool. She begged him, and he did it. If he hadn't…eventually she would have become the enemy. He would still have had to kill her."

Mali stays silent, unable to take her eyes from Kagome's, and she understands. Kami, she judged him all wrong. He would do anything to protect those close to him, and killing that girl…It was the only way to save her, even as it killed a part of him.

And Kagome…

"He told me you met his brother first."

"Half-brother," Kagome says almost immediately, her eyes turning cautious.

"You met him first?"

Kagome laughs. It sounds almost hysterical. "Yes, from the very day I landed in this Era. He…" She loved him. He died. She died. She was reborn, and now…

"He said you loved him."

Kagome tenses, then nods. "And now he's gone, and I'm helping Sesshoumaru."

"Do you love Sesshoumaru?"

Kagome's eyes widen. "Excuse me?"

"Do you?"

"Of course not," her voice is scandalized and a bit too high. "Love him? Are you kidding me? How could I ever…I'm done with this discussion. I have to go talk to Sesshoumaru anyway, and you…" she points an accusing finger at Mali, "are wasting my time." Kagome stomps off, wondering how she could ever meet such an irritating miko. Aren't miko supposed to be controlled and calm?

She kicks a rock and tries to laugh at the mere idea of loving Sesshoumaru. Except she can't really laugh. She's terrified more than anything else.

Because loving Sesshoumaru would be, oh so wrong…

She can't afford another wrong thing in her already messed up life.

Mali sighs.

Angering their two new allies doesn't feel like the best path to follow, but it sure is enjoyable. Besides, she's beginning to really see just how tangled Kagome and Sesshoumaru's lives have become.

Mali saw it with just one glance. How many will it take them?

* * *

"Ugh. How can you stand her?" Kagome shoots another arrow that goes straight to its target. "She's rude and mean, and she makes me itchy." She's been babbling for the last hour, and Akiko, poor girl, couldn't look more uncomfortable.

"Mali-sama is not that bad," she says in a small voice. The miko is only 16 years old. She's shy, not too powerful, but eager to help. In fact, she took her new job as Kagome's assistor with a wide smile, a way too deep bow, and an "It'll be my pleasure to aide you in anything you need."

By the looks of it, now, she would rather be anywhere else.

"I mean, who the hell is she to put her nose where it doesn't belong?" Kagome is fuming. Her arrows have charged with miko power, and it's blasting every single target into oblivion.

Good thing Mali explained to everyone that because Kagome was…special (and Kagome didn't appreciate that word, but Sesshoumaru found it ironical, and for once stood by Mali on it), her powers worked different. The goddamn miko even told them how she was their 'secret weapon,' which she kind of had liked, but hated right now.

Who the hell does she think she is? Who gave her the right to meddle into their lives?

How dare she ask Sesshoumaru painful things?

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"She doesn't even know what she's talking about."

"Who doesn't?" Kagome turns around to find Yurika, Emi and Tomoe. The three best mikos aside from Mali.

Yurika is the cold-hearted captain of these miko. Tomoe is their best warrior, never misses a shot, and Sayore has one hell of a control over her miko powers and is the best sensor Kagome has ever met. They've all been helping her with her powers. She's improved because of them, even if using her powers in her new, special way still leaves her exhausted. And they're all one hundred percent loyal to Mali.

Kagome is too angry to care.

"Mali. How dare she…" Hurting Sesshoumaru, even if he won't ever admit it, is something she will never forgive her for. Bringing Inuyasha into the conversation is despicable. Asking her if she's in love with Sesshoumaru, if she still loves Inuyasha, is more than she's willing to take from Mali.

There are topics that should never be mentioned.

"I'm sure whatever Mali-Sama said had a good intention," Emi said.

"No," Kagome says, throwing the arrow to the ground and glaring dangerously at them, "It was not." Venom sings in her voice. Daggers shoot from her eyes.

They can't understand the limits she passed.

The hurt they had to cross and just the many amounts of obstacles they had to pass to get here. And yes, okay, now they're stable enough to not fall apart because of anyone, but…

But Kagome still worries that she might lose the best thing that's ever happened to her because Sesshoumaru is like a fucking ray of light in all this darkness, who keeps her safe and as innocent as he can, cares for her in ways she thought were impossible, and if she lost him…

She holds on to him not because she needs to, but because she wants to. Because he is the only thing that makes sense.

"What did she say?" Tomoe asks. Beside her, Akiko sighs.

"She…" Kagome hesitates and finally says the one thing that's been bothering her most. "Said I was in love with Sesshoumaru, which I'm not. It's insane, and why would she even say that? Where did she get that stupid idea?"

The four miko just look at Kagome, speechless.

"What?" she snaps at them all.

"No…nothing, Kagome-sama." Akiko finally says.

Kagome sends her an irritating look. "Akiko, _really_, don't call me 'sama.' It makes me feel old."

"Yes, Kagome-sa…" she gulps. "Kagome."

Tomoe finally opens her mouth. "Kagome, you've only been here for a month, but everyone has been able to see…"

"Kagome."

The five miko turn towards the source interrupting their discussion.

"Sesshoumaru," Kagome practically squeals, a smile finally returning to her face.

"A storm is coming. We should go to our tent before it comes."

"Okay," Kagome says happily, walking away with Sesshoumaru and leaving the four miko alone. The sky is free of clouds, not a sign of a storm, but she doesn't question him. "Oh, and I'll show you how to seal demons tomorrow, Akiko," Kagome yells out, and that's it.

Emi has a positively lecherous smirk on her face. "Oh, my, that Sesshoumaru is…"

"_Edible,_" Tomoe finishes. "And I hate all youkai without fault."

"But he is…"

"Something else."

"I think his hair is prettier than mine," Emi whines.

"Oh, it definitely is," Tomoe says. Sayore laughs and Emi whines again.

They contemplate the pair leaving to their tent.

"And they are…"

Sayore giggles. "Mali-sama is always right."

It's nice to know there are still things left in this world that make them smile.

Moments like this remind them that life's not all war.

* * *

It's raining, more like pouring.

They're stuck inside their tent for the rest of the day.

Mali wanted to give them separate tents. Sesshoumaru simply sent her a cold look while Kagome loudly vocalized her disagreement. She'd been sleeping close to him since who knew how long, and she was not going to change that. Mali said the tents could be side by side and ordered some mikos to do it. Sesshoumaru destroyed it, saying it was beneath what someone like him deserved and entered Kagome's without another word.

Her tent was exactly the same as his had been.

No one else said anything. They were already low on supplies anyway. Besides, fighting Kagome and Sesshoumaru at the same time was just pointless. Someone actually dared asked Kagome why she let him stay with her. She shrugged and said it was to keep him from killing anyone.

The truth was, neither felt at ease unless they could see each other. Even if they could sense the other, it just wasn't enough.

"I don't want to remember them in their last moments," she blurts out.

Sesshoumaru knows exactly what she's talking about. It's unmistakable with that sad, painful tone of voice. The silver haired youkai has their final moments engraved in his memory, and he refuses to let go. He has Rin and Jaken there, right next to their "living" memories.

"To not remember is to let part of them vanish, and that is disrespectful to their memory."

"But…"

"Would Inuyasha want you to remember him as just a youkai or a human? He was a hanyou, and forgetting both parts would be destroying his essence. To forget his last moments is to forget the real him."

"It hurts too much!" she yells, blue eyes shining with fury and tears.

He smirks her way. "It's supposed to."

Kagome looks at him for a moment with eyes as big as an owl, and then she finally sits at his side. Her head finds his shoulder, and she moans, as if in pain. "Why do you always have to have an answer for everything?"

"Because I am Sesshoumaru Taisho."

"Idiot." Her tone is intended to be angry, but he can hear the amusement behind it. When she speaks again, though, it has an edge of sadness. "Don't you sometimes wish rain could wash away all the evils of the world?

Sesshoumaru actually grins at that. "I'm afraid it would wash away half my life."

Kagome lets out a wild laugh, her head thrown back. "We wouldn't want that now, would we?"

The grin is now a smile as he answers. "No, it would not be desirable."

Something must be wrong with her. It can't possibly be normal to have such drastic mood changes.

"You know…" Kagome says absently, "In my time, we have these big boots that are water proof, and we can step on big puddles of water, jump from one to another."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because it's fun," Kagome says as if it's the most rational thing. "Have you never done anything for fun?"

"Does killing you count?"

Kagome sticks her tongue at him. "Haha, very funny."

"Why are you telling me that?"

"I always went out when it was raining, and I always got sick afterwards."

Sesshoumaru's eyes glint with amusement. "So you've done idiotic things all of your life?"

Kagome hits him playfully. "It's not stupid." Regardless of how many times her mother told her it was. "I found it refreshing."

In a second, Kagome is on her feet and running through the rain.

He can barely see ahead of him because of the thick wall of water. Her silhouette, though, is something he can clearly see. She's spinning under the rain, her arms held high, her head pointed towards the sky, and letting the rain soak her straight to her very core. There is something hypnotic about the way she moves, like a spell cast on him. He can't tear his eyes away from her. Her laughter fills his ears, calming his very essence, and he should call her back, but he can't form the words.

Because the sky is falling on them, the world is hunting them, and she's dancing under the rain, happy and carefree and young.

It occurs to him that she barely ever acts like a young soul. Life has hardened her spirit, but right now, in this moment, she's exactly the age she should be, and it makes his heart feel lighter, even though he didn't know it felt this heavy.

'_She's beautiful,'_ he thinks, the thought coming out of nowhere. Immediately, the rational part of his mind, the one with common sense, begins to push the thought away and erase it. But his irrational part will not be put down this one time. Sesshoumaru decides that, given the distasteful experiences they've had, he'll allow himself this one. Just once, he'll give in to what is illogical and allow himself the sheer joy of accepting what his mind screams at him every time he sees her.

After all, what could possibly happen from giving in to one weakness?

So when she stops and her figure turns to him with a stretched hand, he doesn't hesitate to go to her and take it. When she starts dancing around him in circles, he doesn't stop her, and when she smiles brightly at him, all joy and so Kagome-ish, he allows his lips to turn slightly upward. She beams and takes his hand, and they stand under the rain, letting it take away all their pain for one single, sweet, too short moment.

Sesshoumaru will fold this memory away and keep it in his thoughts for all eternity.

And Mali watches them with a couple of young mikos that sigh at her side. She watches, and she smiles.

"They sure make a good looking pair," one of them says.

"Whoever thought a youkai and a miko could be so _adorable_ together?"

"Oh, I so wish I could be her…"

"And he is so good looking!"

"He's still a youkai."

"But what a great looking youkai."

Yurika shushes them. "Don't ruin the moment. He can hear you."

Mali shakes her head. Her blond hair is damp, she's freezing, and her eyes can't help but shine at what she sees in front of her.

She had forgotten the beauty of two people totally devoted to each other. "I'm sure at the moment, he doesn't care." Her smile turns into a grin. "He'll make you pay by training you harder later."

Tetsou would love this. He would see them, and he would tell them how lucky they are while holding her close and kissing her temple. He'd want her to help them.

Those two don't know it yet. They don't even have a clue, but they are, without any doubt, certainly two souls made for each other.

Who ever thought that a miko and a youkai could be together in such harmony?

Taisho would also be happy for his son, even if he would try to cover it under sarcastic, ironic layers.

Oh, she'll fight. She'll fight just so that those two can discover exactly what they mean to each other.

* * *

**There, another chapter finished, yey! So, hope you liked it, and review!**


	20. A Spring All Too Brief

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**Ok, I have like ten minutes before my eyes give up and I fall asleep. Completely sorry for how long it took for this chapter to come out, but school is killing me (lots of exams, lots of papers, lots pof presentations, and I swear this has to be the hardest semester ever). I almost have next chapter ready (needs a couple more pages, and to pass through all my editors), but considering how this one ends...I'll do more than my best.**

**So, no thanks this time because, really, I need sleep, but if you have unaswered questions, feel free to ask them. I will answer them all (unless they could spoil the plot).**

**BTW, the title of this chapter is actually a small fragment of a story I read. I can't remember the name, but I loved the words, so...credits to however wrote it.**

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* * *

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**Fragments of a Shattered Moon**

_**A Spring All Too Brief**_

**"_Grief never ends. It's just something you learn to live with."_**

_**- Magiere (Rebel Fay)**_

_**

* * *

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_It takes Kikyo two and a half years to realize that Inuyasha is never going to love her again._

__

_Not the way he used to._

_The passion, the loyalty, the need to put her before his every need is gone. It's channeled to someone else in a much stronger way. __She waits for something that will never happen, until waiting becomes so painful she has to let go._

_It threatens to destroy her all over._

_Their love was never as pure as what she sees before her. He never loved her in that innocent, almost naive way. Passion, fury, and the same deep longing to belong brought them together. It was the comfort of knowing they were truly accepted somewhere._

_Except they weren't. Not really._

_They danced around each other, loved each other because no one else would. She died, and he slept for fifty years because they were just too stubborn to trust. __For their mistakes, the price was high._

_She waits, and in all the time she waits, Inuyasha gravitates towards Kagome. The hanyou looks after her, condones her desire to bath as much as she needs in hot springs, and puts her security before anyone else's._

_The last is not surprising, considering every one of her friends does the same. They keep her protected from all evil threats. The innocence she possesses is something her little group shelters. Kikyo isn't even sure they're conscious of that. __It makes the Miko furious and sad. No one ever minded her innocence. They trained her, and then sent her into battle. When the Shikon no Tama fell into her hands, no one did anything to make the job easier. __Even her own sister stepped aside to let her take control. She understands this, of course. She would never have let Kaede take the burden, but she would have appreciated her support. A warm hand, a comforting hug when the day was too rough, anything would have been better. _

_Kaede had watched from behind the bushes as she trained. From behind doors she waited as her sister went away to fulfill another duty. __And from behind closed eyes, Kikyo cried because everything was just too much. _

_Didn't she deserve a break?_

_Inuyasha had been just that. He had been her chance to escape, and he too, was taken away before the possibility even sank into Kikyo's mind. _

_She wants to beat the young girl that's supposed to be her, but could never be. She wants to hurt Kagome, to chase her back to her time so she can be with Inuyasha again._

_It is pointless._

_Inuyasha would just run after her and forget all about this world. He'd give it all up without a second thought because his love for Kagome roots into his very bones, burns through his soul, engraves into every part that he is._

"_Why?" She asks him the day she figures out he'll never come back to her arms. "Why her?" Her voice is too soft for her liking, but she can't help it. This is the only man, Hanyou, she will ever love. She betrayed Naraku to give everything up for him. She should have given up everything for him fifty years ago, but now…_

_Now, he's only with her because of a promise made in a surge of confusion. She knew he loved Kagome from the moment the girl appeared, but he had loved her, too. He would have become human for _her_. Some of those feelings must live. They can't all have vanished._

_It was a promise never meant to be kept. Deep down, they both know it._

"_Keh. What are you talking about?" Inuyasha can't hide his discomfort. He knows exactly what she's talking about. __Kikyo needs answers. Everyone seems to forget that, even if she is dead, she has emotions. They are a blessing and a curse. Sometimes, she wishes she could rid of them all so watching Kagome and Inuyasha wouldn't feel like dying over _and_ over again._

_Her emotions are the only thing that keeps her human. Her body is not. Her soul is not. She only has the pain to remind her of who she once was._

"_Inuyasha…" Her tone is firm, eyes locked on his. And her eyes are brown, brown, brown. Not a hint of any other color while Kagome's couldn't be bluer. __How exactly is she her reincarnation when they're so goddamn different? How can she be Kikyo when Inuyasha loves her, wants her, needs her more, and could live, has lived, without Kikyo?_

_How?_

"_Kikyo, don't…"_

"_Please." She begs. She hates herself for such weakness, and hates the world for everything that's happening. __She could have gone through hell and back if Inuyasha had stood by her side._

"_She said…" Inuyasha's discomfort is palpable. He closes his eyes momentarily, then pins her with how golden, fiery, and _alive _they look. This is all Kagome's doing. It's because of her that he can have that look in his eyes. He was so troubled with Kikyo… _"_She said she didn't know why I wanted to become a full demon or human. She said she'd rather I stayed a Hanyou."_

_And Kikyo understands._

_Where she wanted to change Inuyasha from the very beginning, Kagome accepted him. The first time Kikyo met Inuyasha, she pointed her arrow at him. Kagome pulled one out of his body. Where Kagome is willing to give up her love without a fight just so Inuyasha won't be distressed, Kikyo pushes and pushes._

_The realization chills her like a bucket of icy water._

_Inuyasha leaves. _

_Kikyo stands alone with all her mistakes flourishing around her._

_The worst is that if she had the chance to do it all again, she wouldn't and couldn't change a thing. __It's all so very Kikyo that there isn't even the slightest possibility that she might change anything._

_It hurts._

_More than thinking he betrayed her, more than dying, more than being resurrected and used as some puppet._

_It _hurts_…_

_Because she knows in that instant, sooner or later, she would have lost him. He would have left her side. Regardless of how the circumstances could have differed, Inuyasha would never have loved her enough._

_Even if Kagome is from four hundred years in the future, Inuyasha has _alway_s been meant for her._

_And finally, Kikyo takes a deep breath and lets it all out. All the pain, the misunderstandings, and the wish to kill her reincarnate. Every glance, touch and love she felt for Inuyasha. The anger that poisoned her and made her who she is right now. She lets it all out in one big sigh._

_Kikyo smiles her first true smile since the rebirth._

_She promises herself that she'll give Inuyasha and Kagome the chance that was never hers. She'll let them work, and she will keep Kagome alive. When the time is right, she'll tell Inuyasha to stop being an idiot, and stay by Kagome._

_She takes a notepad from Kagome's backpack and practices writing with a pen until the words are understandable. The girl doesn't seem to notice the missing notebook. With how many things happening, it's not surprising. __Though unknown to Kagome, Kikyo writes her a letter the night before they die. She tells her how she wished they could have been sisters because Kikyo would have been such a good sister, if the time had been right. She writes about how much she hated her and the reasons for it. __Kikyo tells Kagome that Inuyasha is hers, has always been hers, and she is sorry that she stood in the middle. It was never her place, and she understands now._

_Every single thing she always thought, but never said is in that letter._

_The next morning, Kikyo awakes and knows this is the end._

'_Something is wrong'. She thinks immediately. Her chest feels compressed. There's not enough air. _'_Everything is wrong.' She corrects._

_The day is dull, to say the least. Nothing yet happens. Kikyo is feeling more and more anxious as the minutes pass. Boring days end in blood. __Then, she feels him. Kagome senses a second later, and then Inuyasha. Everyone tenses, and Kikyo tries to fight against the anxiety invading her._

"_Just another fight with Naraku," Inuyasha says. He grins._

_Kikyo wants to slap that smirk of his face and tell him not to take this on. Tying Kagome to a tree is also a desirable thought. The elder miko thinks it's the only thing that will keep them alive. __Her brown eyes find Kagome's blue ones, and she can read the fear. The young miko is aware, too, that everything they know is about to change. What was meant to be will break, and their destiny will change. __This is something they should run from. There is no way they are going to survive, and Kikyo wants to save Kagome from this danger. Kikyo has suffered enough to last all her future lifetimes. She does not wish her reincarnation to become as tainted as she._

_Kagome's eyes lock to hers. She understands that she know what is about to happen, and because they both share the same thought, Kagome ignores her instincts. __Her smile brightens just the slightest bit towards Inuyasha. It's all it takes to make him feel secure._

_The brown-eyed miko understands this too._

_It had to be done. They're going to walk straight to their deaths because Kagome can't stand the idea of being similar to Kikyo in the smallest of ways. __Their lives are going to change in ways no one can determine, because Kagome can't accept Kikyo as part of who she is. __Oddly enough, Kikyo is at peace with Kagome's choice. Because now, finally, they're free from the shadows they cast on each other._

'_We are going to die,' Kikyo thinks, 'I'm sorry I'll fail at keeping you alive, Kagome.'_

_She gives the girl an understanding look and then disappears to make preparations. There's no reason why she can't fight for their destiny until the final minute. The last thing she does before battle is place the notebook with her letter near Shippo's things._

'_All will work out,' She thinks, 'she'll read the letter tomorrow, and she will understand that I only want to help. Shippo won't be let into this fight, so it'll be safe with him.'_

_She wants to believe so badly that everything will be fine…and she's never been one to lie to herself._

'_It's okay,' she repeats in her head, 'I've died before. No need to panic.'_

_

* * *

_

The target is harder to find than they anticipated. Like they didn't exist.

But they do.

They're alive, and they have been causing trouble for his master. Wherever they are, regardless of how well they hide, he'll find them. He'll eliminate them, and he'll make everything alright for Master Naraku.

"Anything?" He asks the woman beside him.

Her bright, red eyes take in their surroundings. She lifts a strand of her dark hair that frames her soft features. "No." She says, a frown on her face. "But we'll find them."

Her companion snarls. "We've been at this for weeks, and we still have no clues."

"Patience." She says simply. "We will find them."

In a way, she is more dangerous than him. Where he'll attack impulsively, she'll think of the best way to accomplish the mission. While he'll lose tolerance and kill whoever he was trying to get information from, she can calmly torture for weeks until they break and beg to give them the answers.

She has a controlled madness, while his runs wild. And right now, none of this is important because…

The forest is lifeless around them, no animals anywhere in sight, and it feels like even the vegetation is trying to get away. It's like all life avoids them.

And they're nowhere near finding the targets.

It wouldn't be so bad, really. After all, they've been killing and killing for weeks without anyone to restrain them. But Master Naraku gave them a specific mission, and they're failing.

Failure is not an option.

They awoke from one life into another, their memories intact, but that was not important at all. What they thought mattered in another lifetime no longer does. And the people they knew, the people they die for, mean nothing to them. More than a year after that, the only thing that matters is what is important to Master Naraku, and the only thing they want is to please him. They obey him in this new life. Their lives are only worthy if they can accomplish their master's wishes.

All they know are seas of red, the metallic smell of blood, and the screams of fear. They bask in these; grow in these, live for these.

"It's been too long." He snaps, frustrated.

She understands. It has been too long, and they're not any closer to completing their task. "They'll appear in time." She says, calm on the outside even if she's just as anxious as he is. Her eyes suddenly cut to the west. "Some humans are that way."

He sniffs the air and then grins. It looks wrong, horrible really, all twisted and cruel.

The part of her that used to be someone else, the disappearing gentleness, thinks that, once, his smile wasn't evil at all. Instead, it was confident, naive to a certain degree, and full of... She stops the train of thought. There is no use in dwelling on things that were, and will never be again. Whatever was has died. Whoever she was, will not come back.

"We should play with them." He suggests.

A kill is so tempting, and all past thoughts dissolve as the idea settles in her mind. Oh, how she misses the terrified shouts. The terrified shouts as weak humans run from them. The few villages that are left are hard to find, though they're often worthy. Too stubborn to leave, they stay, thinking they can actually stand against Naraku's army. The ten remaining hide well.

But they have a job.

"We cannot…" she starts.

"It'll keep us busy until we find them."

"Fine." She's convinced in a heartbeat. She does love hunting, after all.

* * *

"I'm tired of rice."

Sesshoumaru deliberately takes another bite of his rice ball. "Why?" He would also like something…with more flavor, but it's not possible at the moment. There's no use in dwelling on things he can't have, or won't anytime soon.

Being the petty human she is, Kagome pouts and lays her head on her hand, looking at him as if he's responsible of her predicament.

"Because it's plain. It's boring. I want something different."

Her dark hair shines under the sun, and he wonders if it's as soft as it looks… even if it's a constant mess. Her finger presses against the corner of her lips to pick out a piece of rice. To his utter horror, her tongue darts out and licks the rice away.

In a moment of utmost illogic, Sesshoumaru wishes to be rice.

Not even his subconscious will dare remember his lap of mental health.

He is jealous of rice.

Truly, he can't dig himself any lower; he's finally reached rock bottom.

"Rice is not so bad," He manages to say. A pretty good save, considering his state of mind.

"I want pizza, or McDonalds. Something greasy."

Ah, how she continues to make no sense at all. Maybe it's contagious, and he has finally caught it because the question pops out of his mind without restrain. "What is McDonalds?"

Kagome smiles wide and it most certainly does not make him giddy. It surely does not make Sesshoumaru want to make her smile more, or even worse, never stop.

"Well, it's a kind of food that started at a country across the seas, not that it is important, and it's made of this kind of…"

The powerful and all mighty youkai lets her talk and shuts her out. It's not like he's going to understand half of what she says. It's doubtful even she does. Besides, he suddenly has to deal with the sudden urge to draw her towards him, keep her safe against his chest, feel her heart beating hard, and her skin against his… Before he even has a chance to process any of his thoughts, her hand (skin against skin, and it's so electrifying he doesn't dare move) grabs his wrist. The touch is rather urgent, alarmed, and he forces himself to break from the spell he'd been put under to pay attention.

The miko's eyes are dark and unfocused, as if she's sensing something. Nothing comes to his attention.

All he can sense are miko everywhere.

"The shard is close." She says as her grip tightens. "It's very close."

Then she is standing, lugging him with her as she walks towards the end of the camp.

"Kagome…" It'll be an interesting experiment, when they have time, to figure out how, exactly, she seems to forget the most obvious things.

"Before we leave, we must inform Mali."

Not that he wants to. In fact, he'd be very happy to never see her again.

"But…" She whines, "I don't want to talk to her."

"We must."

She stomps her foot and glares. "Why?"

"Because…" He wishes he didn't have a good excuse, or that he could ignore it. "She is a powerful ally, and we'll require her help in the future."

"Can't we send a messenger?"

The idea is satisfying, and an almost imperceptible grin settles on his face. Kagome, of course, sees this and takes this as a victory. Sesshoumaru could imagine Mali's face if they were to do that. "No." it would not be diplomatic, and he can be the right kind of diplomatic. Sometimes.

"Fine." Her face falls. She turns on her heels, fuming her way towards Mali.

Sesshoumaru watches her go.

He doesn't want Kagome. She's just an ally. A teammate. His shard detector. Not someone desirable. Someone of his level could never, ever, want someone like her. So really, he does not want her. With eyes on her, he lists the things that make her unacceptable. To his infinite irritation, nothing changes the fact that he...but he doesn't want her, not really… There's no use in wanting what he can't have, and he can't have her, nor does he want to.

Not even slightly.

Not even as a second thought.

What a predicament.

What bloody irony.

She's so deep in him, so attached to all he is, that not even the most logical, harsh parts of his brain deny the truth.

He wants her.

And he is no idiot.

She is not for him.

Inuyasha, not alive and yet almost as if he were, stands between them. As powerful a youkai as he is, Sesshoumaru can't fight a ghost. She was first his. She probably still is.

The girl is so fragile, such a small moment in his life span, lost to him before he can enjoy her. Just a human. A delicate, crazy, messed up, broken, clumsy, entirely imperfect human.

And if he had a kingdom to give, a title to throw away, he'd do it just to keep her close.

He wants her. Maybe more than simple want.

"Are you coming?" She screams at him, some meters away. In an instant, he flashes by her side. A small squeal escapes her lips. "Don't scare me like that."

"It wouldn't scare you if you remembered my superiority." He says, trying to regain any kind of normality.

"You're so full of yourself. Come on, let's get this over with."

Damn it, he wants a girl that stomps all over him, that he lets order him around, that…

That is in love with the disgrace that was Inuyasha.

It hurts, every time he thinks of how she loves him. It hurts, too, that she has no idea at all.

Clueless even in this.

She has no idea of the effect she has on him, of how much their situations have changed in a moment of epiphany on his part.

Because he cares. For her. A human. For Kagome.

And there's no going back now.

* * *

Well, isn't this great. Just when she was beginning to like the idea of them here, they have to leave.

"So," Mali says casually, though her eyes are hard. "The shard is close."

Kagome is quick to answer. "Yes, we've already told you that."

Kagome is nervous. This is rare. Mali doesn't think she's ever seen this rash miko nervous. Angry, sad, happy, confused, but never nervous. Even when she was surrounded by at least fifty miko, she kept her cool. If Mali had someone as powerful as Sesshoumaru at her side, perhaps nervous would also be an emotion that evaded her.

But Kagome is nervous now, and Sesshoumaru catches on to that. It's making him irritable. He's already strategizing to relieve their problems.

"You have to go now?" Mali would still like to keep Kagome for a few more weeks. Train her more; try to prepare for the war ahead of them.

"Yes," Sesshoumaru responds before Kagome can yell obscenities. "We cannot let the shard get away."

"I'll prepare some miko to go with you." With Kagome this antsy, and Sesshoumaru so distracted, they'll get themselves killed.

"No," Kagome says harshly. "We'll move faster if it's just the two of us, and…" Her blue eyes stop Mali's protests. "We're wasting time."

The ancient Miko contemplates the words. They're true, and besides, those two don't know how to work with anyone else. It would be smart to send them off. Except Mali swore to protect them at all cost, and letting them go without assistance feels like failing.

"We're going now. We came to inform you, not ask permission."

Kagome stands to take her leave.

Mali sighs. "If you must. But at least take some supplies." Mali stands, pulls a wristlet from her arm, and hands it to Kagome. "As your ally, I give you this."

Kagome eyes it with uncertainty.

"A bracelet?"

Mali suppresses the urge to strangle the girl. "No, not a bracelet. When you're in danger, or when the time comes to finally fight Naraku, just put some power into it. I'll feel it, and I'll be able to find you."

Kagome stares. "Oh."

Mali smirks. "Yes. Now go on. Take some equipment and leave. We'll meet again."

"Unfortunately."

Mali's smirk just widens as Kagome turns to go. Sesshoumaru hasn't moved, and Mali eyes him curiously. "Yes?"

"You're going to send someone after we leave."

"Naturally. You're my allies, and as much as I dislike youkai, I can't afford to lose Kagome."

"I can take care of her."

Mali just grins. "Forgive me for not trusting you completely."

He growls at that.

She observes Taisho's son, who she doesn't really like, just as she didn't really like his father. Still, this youkai is Kagome's confidant, her friend, and the only thing keeping her grounded. After all these years, she can identify broken people and their anchors. Sesshoumaru is, without doubt, Kagome's anchor. Despite her total doubt in youkai, she knows the Ex-Lord of the west would rather die than let harm touch her. That said; the Ex-Lord gives her a nasty look. It's a wonder he's still graceful with such an ugly gaze.

"I don't like you either." She says. There's history between them, even if it's not direct. Centuries of miko hating youkai and vice versa. Only few alliances form between the two. Natural enemies, really.

Then, there's Kagome. Effortlessly bringing one of the most powerful youkai to her side. Making her, the oldest Miko alive with youkai hatred in her every pore, work with one.

Mali has lived too long if she has to cooperate with another youkai. Again.

"Go on your way, demon. We'll irritate each other another time."

Sesshoumaru looks at his claws and then at her. "Indeed."

Just as he is out of earshot for any human, she gives him one last piece of advice. "Tell her before its too late."

He pretends not to hear at all.

Stubborn bastard. She'll never help damn youkai again.

* * *

It's the middle of the day, the sun fully shining, and she can already tell it's one of those days she wishes never to have woken up to. Something off hangs in the air, on the ground beneath her, and through the still, still forest. It's almost like the living plays dead. It unnerves her. She gets goosebumps. Kagome shifts closer to Sesshoumaru.

The youkai can feel her distress. Quite frankly, he is…rather on edge.

"Are you sure you felt it here?"

Everything around them hides its existence. Like the forest is afraid it'll be ripped into shreds.

"Yes." Kagome says. She can still feel it, though it seems to finally have stopped moving. "It's close. We can't let it get away." Even if her every sense screams to get far away from here.

Maybe she's finally lost all reason. No one in their right mind would spend one more second in this area. They would be running as far away as they could. 'Well,' Kagome thinks, 'I'm not anyone, I have a job to fulfill, and that stupid piece of pearl is not getting away. I'm done with trailing it all through Feudal Japan.'

Besides, the stupid stone made her meet Mali, who is one annoying miko, and now she'll have to collaborate with her again, so that means actually talking to her again, and…

Killing aura and everything, she's not going to let this quest lead her to more discomforting people.

"We'll just get it and be done."

"That's not a good idea," Sesshoumaru retorts in his 'I know better than you' voice.

Kagome glares. "We're going for it."

"It is not…"

"Please." Kagome almost begs. She doesn't know why, but something tells her that she must get to the pearl now, in this instant, before her chance is lost forever.

Sesshoumaru sighs. It's her tone that convinces him. She hardly ever begs for anything like this. "We'll make this quick."

"Of course." Kagome agrees, and then points. "It is that way. I don't know why it stopped, but we probably won't have another chance."

Whoever has the last piece moves too quickly, and catching up with them could take days, maybe even weeks.

Sesshoumaru wants to grab her and carry her as far away from this place as he can. Whoever has this effect on the forest if probably weaker than him, but Kagome is a different story. While she is much stronger than many Miko, this unknown enemy is more likely stronger than her. If he could, he'd avoid any situation that puts her at risk, even if it was necessary. Sesshoumaru is new to this. He's never cared for someone so much that he would rather jeopardize the world over her. Only his sense and the knowledge that she'd be immensely angry keep him from doing what some would consider right.

The youkai doesn't experience fear often, but ever since Kagome entered his life for a second time, he has felt it quite often. Sometimes, she's like a curse. The worst part is he's beginning to realize he'd rather be cursed than without her.

What a predicament.

"Come on, we have to move fast." She says, tugging at his sleeve. He lets her, checking every shadow, every small movement that surrounds them. The faster they find the shard, the quicker they can leave from here.

Kagome is about to take another step when he halts to a stop.

Someone is closing around them, and whoever it is reeks of Naraku.

"We have company."

"How far?"

"Not that far and closing in."

"But the shard…"

Sesshoumaru watches the pleading in her eyes, the edge of desperation he can and cannot understand. This may be their only chance to catch it before Naraku.

He already regrets his next words.

"Go. I'll meet you as soon I'm done." Which will be very soon. There's no way he is leaving her to go after the shard alone for more than ten minutes. "Hide…"

"I know." She gives him a small smile, and then, hesitantly, she squeezes his hand. Then, she is gone.

It feels like goodbye, and for a horrible moment, he thinks he'll never see her again.

He swears by Rin's memory that he will not let that happen.

* * *

She finally breaks through the thick bushes into a clearing. The sight of relief breaks even before it's halfway out.

Kagome knows that presence.

Even if it's been a long time and something is wrong with it. She knows the essence of it, but it can't be.

She slowly turns her head towards it, not sure if she'd rather flee than confirm. Curiosity wins, and her head does turn…

There, between the trees, sun illuminating his face, alive and okay, the same image she has carved in her memory, is he.

Her breath comes to a halt, eyes widening in an almost comical way. Her hands are sweaty, cold sweat. She shivers under the basking sun. Time and space break and leave her suspended in between, lost and confused, and Kami, this can't be real. It has to be an illusion, a trick of her mind, a dream or nightmare, she hasn't decided.

There is no way this is real.

Because…

She saw him die. She screamed until her throat bled and her voice rasped. The biggest part of her passed with him, and, and…

_I loved you._

'No'

_You made me happy._

'No'

_There was only you in my world._

'No'

_I mourned you. I still do._

'No.'

_You're supposed to be dead._

'No.'

And if he is alive, if he didn't look for her before, if…

Her mind is a screaming 'no, no, no' as if that's all it knows. That and his name, which feels like it's painted in bright, big, red letters all over the place.

He turns, the same grin he used to give her plastered on his mouth. Only, it's not the same. Something sinister lurks behind it, and she realizes; the whole forest is afraid of him.

He is what makes even the smallest insect shiver.

He turns, eyes red as blood.

His name is a lament in her mouth.

"Inuyasha".

******

* * *

**

**I know. I'm cruel, and I think I'm getting a reputation of living you with horrible cliffhangers, but...don't nyou just love the anticipation? And yes, most of you guessed who one of the puppets was. I still have another one, which will be releaved in the next chapter...I think. Yes, I'm almost certain. Old characters are coming back to, things are complicating, and new (or maybe old) allies will come back.**

**And Inuyasha is one of the puppets. How this will affect Kagome and Sesshoumaru's relationship?**

**Review and find out!**


	21. Shattered Dreams

**I have to be the worst person ever. I'm so sorry I left you woth that chapter and didn't update after that, but life just got to...I didn't even have time to sleep, but that's almost over now, just one more class, and I'm done. So, before you ask (and you will ask), no. After this chapter, Kagome won't go back to her...sad and very depressed self, so have no fear of that.**

**Love you all, you are the best readers I could ever hope to have, and I can't believe you keep up with my awful updating time.**

**Thank you.**

* * *

**Fragments of A Shattered Dream**

_**Shattered Dreams**_

_**Did you say it? 'I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life.' Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around; Drink it in 'cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow."**_

_**Meredith, Grey's Anatomy**_

* * *

_They're going to die, and it's all her fault._

_She knew. __Her first thought that morning was how everything was going to hell. __She knew it would end this way. __But her pride let it happen, and the price for that pride will be the death of all the people she cares about. __If karma truly exists, and she has no doubt it does, she'll end up living through this. She'll have to suffer the guilt of surviving._

_Which is almost enough to make her desperately scream, 'Hey, me too. Don't forget me.' to Naraku._

"_Kagome, what the hell are you doing? Move!" she doesn't, of course, and Sango pulls her out of the danger zone before Kagome can blink. _"_Kagome…" Sango's voice is not reproachful. Its firm and steady, and the young miko wishes she could be a bit more like the woman warrior. _"_Get your head in the battle. This is no time to daydream."_

_Maybe if she was more like her, they wouldn't be in this mess. Moments like this remind her that she is, in fact, Kikyo's reincarnation. __After all, they both let this happen._

"_Sorry."_

_She wishes to tell Sango to grab Shippo and Miroku and get the hell away from here. Then she'd tell Kikyo to take Inuyasha far away, and she'll deal with Naraku. __Well, not deal, but at least buy them enough time to get out, to regroup and think of a strategy. __To stay alive. __But they wouldn't listen. They never really do._

_And then, as she kneels on the ground and puts an arrow on her bow, things go to hell._

_Miroku's scream pierces through the battles. He has been trying to swallow all the youkai Naraku sent at them, but they keep coming and coming._

_And finally, what he fears so much catches up to him._

_Kagome's arrow almost falls, and it's by pure instinct that it stays in place, and her eyes go to Miroku, catches a glimpse of him, and then he is gone. __Swallowed by the curse that plagued him. __Just like that, no more Miroku, no trace, nothing to note his existence._

_He's gone…_

"_No!" Sango cries, and Kagome's gaze goes to her, watching the madness invade her eyes, her actions as she cuts through everything she can get her hand on. Her weapons are flying everywhere, and the youkai close around her._

_And then…_

_No one can win in fury. She learned that by watching Inuyasha. Sango is no different. The youkai become too much, and just like Miroku, they get to her._

_Sango dies covered in blood that doesn't belong to her, with a breaking heart and the feeling of failure._

_Kohaku went with Naraku again, Miroku died, and she could do nothing about it. __She never did save anyone. __Never was she strong or determined enough. Always too kind and soft hearted, and she paid the price. Now, she leaves the rest of her friends. __She never had the strength that a youkai hunter needed._

_It all happens so fast after that._

_Kohaku appears from nowhere. Kagome has a clear shot. Shippo suddenly jumps out with her bag on his back and a determined look in his eye. She forgets everything else and runs towards him, tries to keep him away…_

_But she's just too far, youkai are everywhere, and she's beginning to think none of them are going to make it alive._

_He's so young…_

_What the hell does he think he's doing? How does he expect to win? He's but a child and Kohaku a Naraku puppet, and there's no way in hell… __Maybe because the young fox never represented a menace, Kohaku doesn't even bother to look at him. __It turns out to be a mistake because the fox pulls fire out of nowhere, and it dances around them. Kohaku grabs for Shippo, who bites him, and then suddenly, they too, are gone. __Just like that, out of sight, rolling down the rocky mountain and Kagome knows it's the last time she'll ever see the young fox._

_There's a hysterical moment where Kagome thinks maybe if she doesn't see the body, it's not real. If there's no proof, Shippo is still alive. __It's more probable they both fell against the rocks and died._

_Now there's just Inuyasha, Kikyo, and herself._

_Kagome is paralyzed, her hand still extended to where Shippo stood moments ago._

_Someone suddenly pushes her roughly aside, and three youkai are purified. _

"_Do something useful!" Kikyo snarls, already preparing more arrows._

_Kagome can't move yet._

* * *

Funny how she tends to freeze at the worst possible moments.

She doesn't blink, doesn't twitch. Even her mind stops.

Because Inuyasha is right in front of her, staring with those _oh_, so wrong red eyes. And for a moment she forgets to exist as she contemplates the man she loved, the man she lost, the man who was brutally killed in front of her.

The man that has Naraku written all over his sneer and eyes and very aura.

She used to love him close to her; it was one of the few times she felt safe. Now, all she feels is a sense of dread, of wrongness, of wishing for calculating, golden eyes.

"I wish it wasn't like this.' She suddenly thinks. 'I wish I'd never seen you again.'

Her hands are the first thing to move, to turn into fists.

'I wish I had fallen down a hole into wonderland and not this Feudal Era, or that a tornado had taken me away.'

Her fists are so tight they almost draw blood.

'I wish stupid, stupid, Naraku had never killed you.'

Her whole mind resets again, and damn it, she wishes it would stay shut for just a little longer. Just one more minute of blackness.

But her mind won't comply. The neurons start working, the thoughts soar back, and she doesn't move at all.

She's waiting for the crack.

* * *

_She is running, keeping the tears from falling, when she bumps into him._

_A gasp of surprise escapes him, but he catches her before she falls. The set of arms, not nearly as strong as the ones she is used to, wrap around her waist, and their bodies come close together._

_She is a tired, emotional wreck. This is Inuyasha's fault._

_Inuyasha, Inuyasha, Inuyasha._

_And Kikyo._

_It always comes down to those two, and Kagome is so tired of her life running according to what they do. She doesn't want to act based off their actions, but forces stronger than her have Kagome falling over the same cliff of mistakes over and over, and fuck…_

_The bloody, older miko joined them. The stupid, good for nothing hanyou looked at her with eyes swearing Christmas had come sooner, and she sighed and said yes. Of course she could stay with them._

_Just like that, she'd been cast aside, good only when Kikyo wasn't around. Someone easily discarded._

_The tears are coming back. But before they fall, bless him; he interrupts her train of self mutilating thoughts._

"_Are you okay?"_

_Curse him._

_All men are idiots. If she was okay, she wouldn't be in his arms trying not to fall apart. Her mouth opens to give him a piece of her mind, but words don't come out._

_Her lips smack into his, and she pushes his body against the wall. It's not tender or sweet, but rather desperate, fierce, and a tad clumsy._

_Hojo really isn't someone she's supposed to be kissing, and not like this._

_There is only fury. She can only offer anger._

_They arrive at his apartment, and Kagome will never know how. She doesn't look at the decorations, doesn't notice how it screams 'Hojo' everywhere. She's busy taking, or rather ripping, his shirt off. She already threw hers somewhere._

_The Feudal Era is raw and merciless. It made her more like itself. Lacking innocence. She can only feel, not think at this moment. She's so god damn hurt, all she can feel are her emotions eating her alive._

_She takes his pants off, takes a millisecond to think this is her first time…_

_She needs to shut off her brain and just let go…_

_Then his hands are all over her. A moan leaves her lips, and she is losing herself. Falling, drowning. _

_This is all she can give him…_

_He takes all he can get from her._

_

* * *

_

Inuyasha is moving closer.

He's not using his superior speed. In fact, he is slowly walking towards her. Almost as if prolonging the moment and waiting to see if she'll try to escape.

She refuses to run.

Of course, it's more because she's frozen in place. Once more, unable to do anything when it's _him_. She would have thought watching him die, dying herself, losing a life and winning another, would have changed that. That some Sesshoumaru-ness would have stayed with her. Instead, there's only Kagome. And she already knows it's not enough.

Hell, Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru would already be bleeding all over the pretty field, fighting each other just for the sake of…fighting.

Inuyasha decides he really has no patience, and flashes to her side before she can act. He presses some point on her body, and she falls like she's boneless. Inuyasha catches her before she hits the ground.

How nice of him.

* * *

_Her stupidity, her lack of courage, all those imperfections that people said made her special, are Inuyasha's downfall._

_It's her fault he will die._

_And she wishes, wishes, wishes, she could wake up from this nightmare, from this wrongness. Back into her warm bed, with the stupid well being just a well, with Inuyasha still asleep, and then maybe he wouldn't have to die like this. __She could have been a normal teenager instead of this sorry excuse of a miko that does nothing but screw up._

_She moved too slowly, and Naraku's claws were soon to close on her. But Inuyasha, always the hero, stepped in front of her. __And Naraku's paws shut around him. __Inuyasha didn't have time to react. His sword fell from his grasp, and before he could use his claws to defend himself, Naraku's arm bursts through the other side of Inuyasha's body._

_Straight through his heart._

_Kagome has never felt so sick in her life._

_Naraku then starts to tear him into pieces, his eyes locked on her._

_She snaps._

_Runs, runs, runs towards him having no idea what she'll do when she gets there. But she has to do something, anything…_

"_Don't be stupid!" Kikyo holds her back, grip tight around her arm. "You have to live!_

"_For what?" Kagome snaps. "How? Look around you! None of us are going to make it! We're not enough." __Not enough is a bit of an understatement. There are more youkai than rocks, both the women are tired, and they wouldn't stand a chance even if Sesshoumaru appeared. __They're corpses. _"_We're dead." She tells Kikyo. She slaps Kagome, and then holds her in a tight hug._

"_It wasn't supposed to be like this." The older miko whispers into her ear._

'_These are my last moments'. Kagome thinks. 'With this miko that hates me giving me comfort, youkai all around us, and no hope at all.'_

_Kikyo will try to defend her. And of course, she will die._

_Kagome's last sound will be Naraku's laughter. Her last sight will be his red eyes._

_This is how I go.'_

_

* * *

_

'I wish you had stayed dead.' She thinks. "That I'd never have to see your face again.'

"So," she says instead, and is glad that she can speak and her voice doesn't shake. "You're real."

Interesting first words to speak to your resurrected love. This is way too surreal for her. Too much like a dream state, which is probably why the pain hasn't started. Why she still hasn't broken.

Inuyasha's smirk grows wider. Kagome refuses to shiver.

"Keh. Yes." He says, indifferent. Not really giving it a thought.

Kagome has to gulp and tighten her fists even more because, even if the eyes are wrong, and the tone is a bit rougher, it's still his voice. Still his way of talking. Just as she remembers. The same tone, the same expression, even the same short sentences that used to drive her mad.

Still drive her mad.

"And you've learned new tricks." Because, honestly, when was _Inuyasha_ ever able to just press somewhere and make her body butter?

"I know human, hanyou, and youkai bodies. It helps with torture." He says it like learning anatomy to torture better is the most normal thing to do.

"So I suppose you're not here to say hi." She's so proud that she isn't falling to pieces, crying all over him, telling him how much she loves…no, loved him. She loved him.

In another life, in another time, when he wasn't with Naraku, and she didn't desperately wish for Sesshoumaru to appear, she loved him.

When Inuyasha wasn't the wrong brother.

She thought she'd never love someone else, but maybe, finally, time has worked its magic because… That love is but a shadow of what it once was. The pain at the thought of torture starts to appear. But not because she loves him with all she has. It's the resigned pain of someone waiting for even worse suffering. Worse part is, love or not, her Inuyasha or Naraku's, she probably won't be able to hurt him because… he is s_till _Inuyasha. Engraved in her, in her childhood, in what she was.

She could never hurt him, not even now. Not just for her sake.

"And you're here for me." she continues.

"Not just you."

Finally, Kagome smiles. It's tiny and about to shatter, but still a smile. "It never was just me."

Something flashes in his eyes, but it is gone just as fast, and she has no idea what it was.

"I also came to collect my brother."

"Half-brother." Kagome says, automatically.

He gives her the most curious look, and then nods. "I suppose. It doesn't matter."

And Kagome laughs.

She laughs and laughs and laughs.

Because the Inuyasha she knew would have screamed his head off if she had called him and Sesshoumaru brothers. He'd give a long speech about how they could never be brothers. He'd be infuriated with her for at least a week.

It was always a big deal.

Still, she knows she can't fight him.

'I can't!' Her mind screams, frustrated with the knowledge that even now she can't hurt this man that will inflict such pain upon her without a trace of guilt. As if they never shared history. Kami, she can't hurt him! Not to save herself. Love and all aside, he holds a power over her she does not comprehend. 'Not yet.'

She'll take a step forward, gulp down the bile in her mouth, become deaf to the screams of 'not him, not ever him, save him,' and drown all he ever was to her, but not now.

He has crazed, red eyes, and all the will to kill her. She has to rid herself of the hesitation, has to attack and fight just as he will.

As of now, though, she can't.

He is Inuyasha.

Inuyasha, Inuyasha, Inuyasha.

Back from the dead.

Back to torment her, and she can't…

She can't move.

Worst than this, worse than the pain she's about to feel, worse than Inuyasha's loyalty to Naraku, more horrible than his red eyes is…even with all of this, with how they end…

'I would still remove that bloody arrow from your body.' She thinks, desperately.

* * *

"_Don't you sometimes wish you'd never woken Inuyasha?"_

"_Huh?"_

_Miroku stands next to her, looking at the horizon where ocean and sky meet. _"_You don't have to stand this." His voice is wise, eyes seeing all the pain she tries to hide._

"_Oh," she responds, "But I do." _

_It doesn't take a genius to know what he's talking about. __The monk thinks it's unfortunate she doesn't even sound sad anymore. She's resigned. __Piteous. __Kagome deserves so much more than what Inuyasha could ever give her. As much as he respects the hanyou, it is Kagome who is dear to him. __The white haired youth doesn't deserve her. He doesn't bring out her best; he doesn't push Kagome to her full potential. He drowns her, shrinks her, and makes her so much less than what she could be. __Blinded as she is by her devotion and almost obsessive love, she does not see how wrong he is for her._

_Even if Kikyo did not exist, there would always be that pretext not to be with him._

_Blue eyes stay firm on the horizon, slightly wandering towards the hanyou playing in the sand with Shippo. _

"_It's enough." She says, as if reading his thoughts._

_What Miroku doesn't see is that Kagome knows he's wrong for her. She has rivers of tears to prove it, scores of sleepless nights, and thousands of tiny scars on her heart._

_It's just that she can't stop loving him._

_Sometimes, his eyes will look at her with such tenderness, almost adoration. _

_After the roughest of fights, he'll hold her just a bit too hard, as if scared that if he lets go, she'll fade away. __Just before jumping into her own time, he'll hold her hand a second too long, squeeze it, and release. __He drags her back if she stays too long. __In the dark, too long nights when she has to keep watch, he'll stay by her side; entertain her until her time is up. __It makes her feel loved, cared for, cherished._

_It makes her feel like he cares. __Every time he looks at her, and only her, she falls harder for him. __Hope is the last thing to fade._

_Kagome has no defense against him, no will to keep him at arm's length. __Inuyasha is her priority. Her eyes are only for him. Her heart is in his hands. He comes before duty and family, before friends, before herself. __She belongs to him. __There's nothing anyone can do about it. It's just the way things are._

_But Miroku is older, and the few years he has ahead of them is not in vain. __He has traveled, watched maidens chase after lovers, men give up everything for a lady, and he has done his bit in chasing young, naive women himself. __Kagome and Inuyasha are not for each other._

"_It doesn't have to be enough." He insists, knowing he's not going to get anywhere._

"_It is." _

_Stubborn as ever._

_Miroku sighs and stays at her side until the stars come out. __He hopes that one day, she'll open those pretty blue eyes and realize that yes, she does love Inuyasha, and yes, he does love her back, but no, it is not enough._

_Love is hardly ever enough._

* * *

"When you say collect," Kagome continues. "You mean kill?"

"You've caused too much trouble for Lord Naraku."

"It's Lord Naraku now?"

Inuyasha gives her a pointed smile. "It'll always be Lord Naraku."

Her eyes narrow. "Not if I have my way."

"Which is why I'm here." Inuyasha trails his claw over her arm, his breath ghosting over her skin.

"I suppose you'll torment whatever information I have out of me."

He doesn't bother to hide the satisfaction in his eyes. "You are wiser, or perhaps submissive?"

Kagome grins at him. "This is not how I end, Inuyasha."

'Even if I can't fight you now.' She thinks. 'Even if my body is unwilling to move, this is not how it ends.' Kagome is the Shikon no Tama miko, killed twice, trained by Sesshoumaru and Mali, and eventually, she _will_ fight him.

Just give her a little time.

After all, she's no longer the Kagome he knew.

She's not Inuyasha's girl anymore. It's been a while since then. He has been absent from her thoughts, except on those rare moments of the hushed echo from a far away life. Once upon a time, she _had_ been his miko. All her actions were made with him in mind. He was the main character in her life, even before herself. Even when she was confused with Kikyo, or thought of as a continuation of her. From north to south, east to west, she was the hanyou's miko.

She had loved him.

Tenderly, as first loves tend to be. A little obsessive, as all teenage affairs.

But she loved him anyway, with every part of her.

They're on different sides now. She chose her side long before, and he won't be moved from his.

He smirks at her, flexes his claws, and prepares. "I'm dying to hear you scream, Kagome." He says. "To make the blood come out of you. I want to make you feel unimaginable pain."

She freaks out inside, scared to her very guts. More scared than ever because this is Inuyasha in front of her. Inuyasha, who protected and yelled at her when she skimmed even too close to trouble. The hanyou who almost loved her.

Oh, god, she's going to be tortured by _Inuyasha…._

* * *

He smells him before he senses him. It's a smell he forced himself to engrave in his mind from the first time he saw the mutt, and his blood turns to ice. He knows this scent. He would know it anywhere, and this, this…

This is not his half brother's smell. It's dark, dangerous, with a tinge of….

Kagome is with him. _His _Kagome is with the dead, revived, half brother. And he stinks of Naraku. His whole body is already twisting towards them, completely ignoring the other danger, rising to get to her in time. Inuyasha smells of death and Naraku. Kagome is with him.

Before he can take two steps, a giant boomerang breaks his way.

Kagome will not like this at all.

Just as expected, a female figure emerges from the woods. Brown hair in a ponytail, dressed in slayer armor, eyes blood red. The friend. Now, what was her name?

Sesshoumaru makes a mental note to keep track of the names of Kagome's friends.

He smells Naraku on her, too.

"Out of my way, slayer."

She laughs, vibrant and loud, and not at all cheerful. It leans towards creepy. "Or what?" She says, and there's none of the humanity she used to have. Not like he expected any.

She's just another puppet, now. Kagome, of course, would disagree. Sesshoumaru narrows his eyes. He has to get her now. This… petty distraction has to go, except…

Kagome will be most displeased if he kills her.

"Puppet…"

Her eyes narrow. "It's Sango."

Sesshoumaru almost smirks. "Puppet. Move."

"I think I'll stay right where I am. Inuyasha must be having fun with Kagome."

"And I thought you were her friend?"

She shrugs. "In another life."

"Yes." He confirms. In another life, they were almost allies. Nowadays, his only concern is Kagome…and killing Naraku. Besides, she's far from being an ally, now.

In a blink, he's at her side. "Unfortunately for you, even reborn a thousand times, you could never defeat me."

And he's gone, moving straight towards Kagome, Sango trailing behind him. It would have been better if he had a least knocked her unconscious, but there is no time. He will not allow Kagome to spend unnecessary time with Inuyasha.

Even, he thinks, if she wishes the contrary.

* * *

Hate is not enough, Kagome finally decides.

The innocence was crushed from inside her. Her fucking existence was stepped on, and now this… this… This is the last drop of water. Her whole body is wounded. Her eyes are painfully red with tears that don't fall. Inuyasha knows exactly when to stop when the pain is just about to make her faint.

Hate falls short. It doesn't even begin to describe what she feels.

She's nauseous, sick. Her miko powers are out of reach. She stares at Inuyasha with fire in her eyes, and the bastard laughs at her.

"Are you ready to talk now,_ Kagome_?" Her name is said softly, almost tenderly, and she hates him all over again.

He has no right.

He has no right to say her name.

This should not happen to her. She's supposed to be done with faith and hoping and wishing. She wasn't supposed to freeze at his presence, however impossible it was. She should never have let him close.

"Never." She hisses. "I'll say nothing."

Inuyasha's eyes gleam with joy. His claw breaks the skin from the length of her arm. Kagome bites into her bloody lips to keep from screaming. She won't give him the satisfaction. She hates, hates, hates…

If she closes her eyes in this moment, she would see Shippo eating chocolate and telling her not to give up. Miroku would tell her how a lady like her, a miko of her strength, should not lose against such a monster. Sango would smile kindly, Kirara in her arms, and they'd give their silent support. If she closes her eyes, she would see them, waiting for her, but then she'd close her eyes forever because she wants this peace so much…

But pain is everywhere, and she wants to run away.

She'd see her old Inuyasha, with golden eyes and his small, rare, true smile. All the pain and tears, all the suffering would be worth it, to see things the way they should have been. The way they were. Everything would be as it was before.

But Sesshoumaru would be gone.

While Inuyasha inflicts pain to her body, Kagome has an epiphany.

She closes her eyes for the moment, stops her steps towards her dead family and whispers 'no'. This is no longer hers. They are no longer the people she fights for. There is someone bigger than all of them, more important to her than they once were. Sesshoumaru is now in her life, and while they were the stars in her world, Sesshoumaru is the god damned sun.

The white haired youkai is everything.

And she won't fail him.

Kagome's eyes snap open, her blue eyes almost black with her defiance and fury.

"Want more pain?" The hanyou crackles into her ear. He smiles, and Kagome's stomach turns.

But she's stronger than this. She made herself stronger, and she can deal with this. She has to.

"I like my victims' masochists." He tells her.

"I like my captors' masochists, too." Her voice is hot metal. She gloats at the irritation in his face.

"You-"

Her laughter cuts him off. "I can't wait till he gets here." She says.

"You haven't met my partner. She won't let him pass."

"Do you not remember your half brother?" She spits out. "Idiot."

He hits her hard, getting angry with her words. At least that hasn't changed. "We'll kill him."

"No." It is said with no doubts. "You won't."

Her body is coming back to her, she can feel it. All she must do is wait until she has full control. If she can do it without Inuyasha noticing, then she'll be able to break free. She'll get away from him. She has to. She can't allow…There is no way he'll get anything from her. Hell. She won't even tell Mali's secrets, and Kagome not so secretly hates her.

Besides, Sesshoumaru is coming for her. She trusts him, and he has never let her down.

She'll find strength to deal with this. She has to.

'He's not the hanyou I loved.' She repeats in her head. 'He's the enemy, not my hanyou, not my Inuyasha, not…."

"Just wait till he gets here." She repeats. "He'll kill you."

* * *

**There it is. Chapter 21 done after who knows how long. hope you enjoyed it, and I'll see you next time!**

**Oh, and please, rveview! Your notes help me make a better story.**


	22. I Don't Choose You

**I swear I'll never, ever, ever take this long to update again. Ever. No matter what. I feel like such a bad person, but thank you so much for sticking with this story! This chapter had all sort of bad things happen to it, from being completely delated once I had it finished, to me having lost my muse for whta seemed like forever. But it is done, and hopefully my muse will stay with me. I'm so so sorry!**

**Thanks to,**

**Tama Rose - I thought a long time about who to bring back. Inuyasha was a 100% certain, but I had my doubts about the other one. Miroku wouldn't do. Shippo...no. Rin...didn0t have the heart. It had to be Sango. I thought I'd make it a little more difficult on Kagome, let Sesshoumaru help her.**

**Shattered Shikkon, Laidi Maiki, veritas-quod-amor, - I swear, I saw your reviews and I just had to update. The guilt of not doing so was horrible! No, really, thank you for all your support. Really. I love you guys!**

**massengale77 - I will not stop writing until I am...dead or extremely incapacitated. Also, regardless of how long I take to update, I promise you, I will not abandon a story, unless, you know, I get amnesia or something like that. So don't worry. You'll hear from me for a long time (maybe you should worry)**

**wintersalad - You're about to love Kagome even more. Do go read. Oh, and I'm writing more about how Inuyasha and Sango feel in the next chapter, how they remeber but can't really feel it...it's going to give me a headache, but I think it'll be worthy to explain...if it comes out okay.**

**kag-seeshy - Mi primer idioma es el español, aunque se me facilita mas escribir en inglés, y por eso lo hago, pero no te preocupes! Puedes mandarme lo que quieras en este idioma, porque, jajaja, pues es el que hablo mas. Ademas, me da muchisimo gusto que gente de habla hispana me deje mensajes, siempre es refrescante.**

**SakuraEmma29 - I think I didn't bring back Kikyo because...well, it's always her, right? I'd thought I¿d give her a rest from being the bad girl. Besides, I was thinking about writing more flash backs with her, and I kind of want her to be supportive of Kagome, just this once. Inuyasha, though, there was never a doubt in my mind that he HAD to come back.**

**super1, reading dreamer - Haha, I know the feeling of staying up all night because of a story! In fact...I know the feeling of staying all night because of writing (kind of like what I'm doing right now), but get some sleep! One of us should! Though I love you for sacrificing your sleeping hours for this.**

**Saoirse Driscoll - Actually, I think they will be a bit...stronger. After all, Naraku wouldn't bring the back if they weren't better. And it had to be Sango! As you said, I wanted this to be against Kagome.**

**w0ah - If there is one thing that actually kept me nervous, it was how I was going to make Kagome love Sesshoumaru (and she does love him by now, only she doesn't see it). Sesshoumaru, it was easy. He would do it slowly, and once Kagome got back on her feet and annoyed him until she was under his skin. Kagome...she felt guilty, devastated, and was so very in love...though beginning to realize Inuyasha wasn't for her. But, still...it was tricky, and I'm so happy it came out alright! Now, for a more difficult part, how will they confess?**

**xXthenextbookwormXx - Think of it as a kind of zombie thing, without them wanting to eat your brains. Or, if you ever watched Dragon Ball Z, Sailor Moon, or any anime, really, think of it that way, They just seem to come back...it's like a bad sometimes necessary. I try to keep away from it, but this time, I found it was necessary for my plot.**

**Selene88Sakura - Yey! Kagome is strong! Of course, she still has a lot of limitations, but she's not useless! Yey! (She's more fun to write this way).**

**zero-serenity - thank you so much! You always flatter me so...(blushes furiously and has to go hide somewhere)**

**Remniscent Shadow - You were the only one that guessed! Yes, it's Sango!**

**AllySan - Aaaahhh! Espero q no hayas muerto de ansiedad! Y si! Sesshoumaru es el hermano correcto. Por fin. Solo le tomo a Kagome un poco de tortura para darse cuenta, y ya era hora! Por supuesto, las cosas no son asi de faciles, y les quedan millones de cosas por pasar, pero Kagome ya no ama a Inuyasha! Q mal q Sesshoumaru no sepa todavia...**

**And happy news...**

**-Wom Third Place during the 2nd Quarter 2010 at the Inuyasha FanGuild the for Best DarkFic/Horror (and I never thought I'd win anything in this category)**

**-Nominated at the Feudal Association in the Angst category by landofthekwt (thank you so much for believing it deserves it!)-**

* * *

**Fragments Of a Shattered Moon**

_**I Don't Choose You**_

"You are that which I would be but cannot.

You follow a path I dare not follow,

You live a life that I shall not lead, for I have chosen another.

You are one face of my soul among many.

Each with their own purpose, will, and Spirit"

-Chuang Tzu-

* * *

There's this one moment, when his feet touch the ground and the first scent of her blood hits him, that he thinks it's too late.

'_Late, late, late. Like you were with Rin,' _his mind provides, _'Rin, beautiful, young, and innocent. Rin, who begged you to kill her, who you killed. You hadn't thought about her for a while, huh?' _

'_No.' _He answers his own thoughts. _'I wasn't'._

It doesn't even look like he was quick enough to hear her speak one last time. The treacherous thoughts continue._ 'I bet your miko is going to ask you to kill her, too.'_

And for one horrible, scarring second, he is filled with a blackness he did not know existed. It shoots straight to his very core. It leaves him numb and apathetic to whatever else happens to him.

She is so still, lifeless, in the hanyou's eyes, and the world doesn't matter to him anymore. Revenge is but a distant thought. His will is fractured. All he can see is her broken body; the way sweat plasters hair to her face, the streaks of blood across her waist, the furious red bruises on her skin. She's pale, pale as ever, and those blue eyes of hers refuse to open. There is no more Kagome, so there is no more use in caring. Never before has he felt so useless and lost. Before he even has a chance to break out of his stupor, her chest heaves, she breathes deep, with struggle, but breathing…

"We'll kill him." Inuyasha says, and part of Sesshoumaru's mind, the piece that still works, urges he move, attack, _do_ something, and he snarls at Inuyasha's petty comment. Like these puppets could kill him, even now, with their new sort of strength. Foolish puppets; even their master was careful not to get in his way. The stupid half demon hasn't even sensed his presence, and Sesshoumaru takes a moment to feel offended at being ignored.

"No," says Kagome. Her voice is frail and pained, but the words flame with utter confidence, with no doubt at all. "You won't." Kagome's voice, the determination, her faith in him…

She's talking...

Just like that, everything that was void inside fills up again.

Before Inuyasha can wreak any more pain, Sesshoumaru sprints forward. He seizes Kagome from Inuyasha's grip and in the same instant sends him flying. He throws him as far as he can, using all his strength while still holding Kagome in his arms. He's careful to cradle her gently without adding more injuries. Now that she's close, Sesshoumaru can see and smell that her injuries are bad, but not as terrible as he feared. Of course, he thought the worse. More importantly, she's alive, in his arms. She's not safe, but one step closer.

Later, when she's away from danger, he'll take a moment to think about this. To reminiscence in what Kagome's loss from this world causes him.

'_Later_,' he thinks, already knowing that it means he would feel no more.

* * *

Kagome thinks torture might be bad for her health. Seriously. If she ever goes back home, she'll write an essay on how being tortured not only brings physical pain, but impossible hallucinations. Like the one she's having now.

It's where she imagines Sesshoumaru standing there, actually looking shocked, or as close as Sesshoumaru could ever get to being so. More like an eyebrow lifted way up the sky, his eyes a little wide, and his mouth a fraction of a millimeter opened. Which is huge, for Sesshoumaru, and there is no way that can actually be happening.

Sesshoumaru does _not_ do shock.

In the next moment, the air shifts around her. From the corner of her eye she sees Inuyasha go flying towards a tree, but then her eyes refocus on who holds her now.

Maybe she's not hallucinating.

This must is death.

Sesshoumaru's intense eyes hold hers, except they're not cold at all, but shining bright with anger and guilt, and…

"Are you alright?" His voice is rough, filled with what sounds like concern. Except, when has Sesshoumaru ever done concern? If this is the afterlife, she'll stay here gladly.

She doesn't respond.

"Kagome…" He shakes her, just a little, to bring her focus to him.

It causes a ripple of fresh pain. Her eyes shut tight. "Fuck!" She let's escape through her pain. Oh, so this_ is_ real, unless this is a new kind of joke from the Universe. She wouldn't put it passed them to make her pain all over even after dying. "Am I dead?" She can't keep the loudness out of her voice, the roar.

"No." He roars right back. He lays her gently to the ground. "And you won't be."

"I thought so," Her lips struggle to form a grin, "It's too painful to really be dead." Her eyes narrow at him. "You shouldn't shake me like that. I was… tortured, you know?"

He snarls this time, but before anything else can be said, someone else interrupts. Sesshoumaru's reflex sends the boomerang skidding across the field.

Kagome's whole world once more sinks to her feet. That boomerang is too familiar to not be what she thinks it is. What did she expect? Inuyasha mentioned a partner.

All this time, it had been her. It had to be her. Of course Naraku would bring these two, out of anyone else.

'_At least it's not Shippo,'_ she thinks, even if it only makes it half better. Shippo is dead, never coming back again. She'll never see him again, but at least he's not in Naraku's hands, like Inuyasha.

"I thought I had more time before she appeared." Sesshoumaru is on his feet, calculating their next move. "Can you run? I'll finish them off, and then you can…"

"One of them will follow me."

He simply gives her one of his 'I'm superior' looks. "There are only two of them."

Kagome shakes her head. "I don't know about...about..._her_". She finds she's unable to say her name. "And Inuyasha is different. Dangerous. You can't risk it."

"You won't fight in your condition."

"Sesshoumaru…"

And her injuries suddenly seem trivial. Her body breaking under Inuyasha's hands doesn't matter anymore. Sesshoumaru is here. He came for her. He's trying to save her and risking his life, revenge,_ everything_… Not even the immense surges of pain she feels from her cracked ribs, bruises, and many wounds that still bleed would get in her way. That cold, arrogant, nerve wracking youkai is here. To save her. Just her.

It doesn't matter anymore that she suffered under Inuyasha.

_The hanyou that she loved, loved, loved_.

Sesshoumaru is here.

"Don't be an idiot. I can still fight. I'll take her."

"She is your friend."

Kagome stands up, as firm as she can next to Sesshoumaru. This is a war, and there are sides. There's no in the middle, no safe ground to stand. She's either with Sesshoumaru or with them, and as much as it hurts her now, she has already chosen.

The decision was made a long time ago.

"I will fight her."

'_You're my side now.'_ She thinks, and knows it to be true.

* * *

It is, without any doubt, a very bad omen to be losing against Inuyasha. It's also no good for his ego. Especially when Inuyasha should, in theory, be extremely easy to defeat. Every single one of his moves should be predictable. The speed should be slower, the hits weaker, and the power, powerless.

This Inuyasha in front of him is not the hanyou he trained. This is not his half-brother. Deep down, the extremely small and irrational part of Sesshoumaru that cared for and trained Inuyasha when he was young, mourns the golden eyed hanyou. The feeling, however, is quickly surpassed by something stronger.

'_Kagome is hurting because of him.'_

Sesshoumaru's sword clashes with Inuyasha's once more. He strikes, kicks, and strikes again, but it's useless. Each hit is counterattacked. Each punch, boot, every single move falls short. Whatever Naraku did when he brought him back has made the hanyou stronger, faster. From what Sesshoumaru´s been able to determine, he suspects Naraku made them for the sole purpose of fighting and winning, regardless of what they have to sacrifice.

It's the one advantage Inuyasha has against him.

Sesshoumaru can deal with speed and strength. After all, he has met enemies like this before and come on top. But they had always cared for something. They always had a weakness. As far as he can tell, Inuyasha's weakness is the need to achieve whatever Naraku orders him. Considering his orders are to eliminate them, it's not working in Sesshoumaru's favor.

Inuyasha's voice cuts through the air. "What is it? This getting old?"

Sesshoumaru narrows his eyes and strikes again. Inuyasha strikes back and neither of them hit anything. This could go on forever.

"Just give up, Sesshoumaru. You can't win."

"You forget who you are talking to, Inuyasha."

Inuyasha sneers. "Do I? What are you, anyway? A lord with no land, a disgrace to your own kind. Just a memory of what you once were."

"Disgrace?" Sesshoumaru's claws clench, his grip on the sword tightens, but he somehow manages to sound bored.

"You're a youkai with no other choice but to work with a miko. I believe that's a new low for you. She's not even a good miko. She's just Kagome."

If he tightens his grip anymore, the sword will break. But he is Sesshoumaru, and he will not lose control because of a puppet. "I believe you used to work with her, too. If memory doesn't fail me, you cared for her, and you loved the other miko, too, what was her name?"

Inuyasha snarled at him. His eyes redden even deeper. "Don't. Do not bring that here."

Sesshoumaru isn't sure what he is referring to, his feelings for Kagome, or his feelings for Kikyo. Whatever it is, Inuyasha seems to be distracted by it, his eyes unfocussed, as if his mind had suddenly left the battlefield.

The youkai pierces him with his coldest glare. "She is not the Kagome you used to know." Then he launches. Inuyasha snaps back and lifts his sword to block him, but Sesshoumaru knows it's too late. It'll be a direct hit, strong enough to weaken him, give him the upper hand, the win, to take Kagome away. This is it, this is…

"Aaaaahhh!"

The youkai snaps his head and his attention jumps towards Kagome. Without even thinking about it, he searches for her, has to verify that she's okay, that she hasn't suffered anymore injuries. He watches her body slam into a tree. Sango's boomerang hurls straight towards her. His body whips around and he leaves his one chance to hit Inuyasha. He needs Kagome out of danger. Her blue eyes are terrified, but she shakes her head and looks at him with determined eyes.

"Sesshoumaru," she says, "I…"

He throws her away from him, and because of it, he is too late to stop Inuyasha's hit. Kagome's eyes widen. He can feel the heat from Inuyasha's grin as the hanyou stands behind him. A small groan escapes Sesshoumaru's lips. His eyes lower to his abdomen, and oh, there's a hand plunging through it.

Of course.

If the situation wasn't so bad, he'd probably roll his eyes at the probability of Inuyasha managing to touch him because he was busy saving Kagome. Some time ago, it would have been zero.

"Go. The hunter is coming. Keep her at bay." Kagome opens her mouth, but Sesshoumaru's eyes sharpen. "Go now."

"You should get rid of her, Sesshoumaru," Inuyasha says, "You'd be more interesting to fight without her."

The youkai pushes his body away from Inuyasha, and prepares to fight again. He's bleeding too much, and it'll take time he doesn't have for the wound to heal, but Kami, he won't let Inuyasha win.

"She's just a human."

'_Yes,'_ he thinks, _'And she will be my weakness, if I let her_.' She's also the only thing that matters anymore. "No." He says out loud. Because as much as he would like it to be otherwise, she is all he has left, all that keeps him going. The one thing more important than vengeance.

He won't allow Kagome to be anything but strength.

* * *

The kid runs towards him at an amazing speed.

The guard smirks as his superb vision allows him to spot him from a long distance. It's a wonder how the kid manages not to hit any trees with the speed of his sprints. With how careless the child moves, he would have thought otherwise.

Seconds pass and the guard narrows his eyes. The kid approaches close to camp, and he doesn't seem to have any intention of stopping. Is he being followed? He stretches his senses, but he doesn't feel any unfamiliar youkai or hanyou presence. And all of them are at least four kilometers away.

There's only the kid and himself.

With a sigh, the guard steps aside and grabs the kid by the collar of his shirt before he smashes into a tree.

"Ah, Ryo," The guard starts, addressing the youngest scout in their ranks, "I know you take your job seriously, but I'm sure whatever you have to say doesn't justify running around madly." He grins at the kid, but it falters as he sees his eyes. If those brown eyes got any bigger, they'd pop out.

"Tell…" Ryo starts, but his hard breathing prevents him from saying more.

"Hey, relax. Take a deep breath first." Stupid, young, reckless youkai. This is why they get killed so fast. Their priorities are all wrong.

"No…the puppets are…out…have…miko…fighting…them…tell…leader…"

And then the body goes limp in his arms.

The guard stays where he is for a second.

"Shit."

This is horrible news. Terrible. The boss has to know right away. He whistles for his partner. The partner appears next to him and ready to fight in under three seconds. The youkai takes a look at the kid and then at him. "Cover my perimeter. I won't be long. I have to take him to the boss."

And then he's gone.

* * *

"Sesshoumaru!" It pierces the air, his name falling from her lips. "Sesshoumaru!" Ripping through her, straight from her lungs, through her throat, to her mouth. "Sesshoumaru!" Out to the world, just like the crude fear that accompanies it. She runs, runs, and runs towards him, them, with the only certainty in her mind that Sesshoumaru is losing, is going to get hurt, and is dangerously close to the cliff.

Just like with Kagura and Atsuki when she discovered the potential her powers had, just like when they're with Mali, or when they're surrounded by enemies, Kagome can only think of Sesshoumaru's safety. He's the only thing on her mind.

'_Save him, save him, save him.'_ she repeats in her mind, a mantra that consumes her whole.

Inuyasha, who she loved, will always be her first love, is an enemy. An enemy that wants to hurt Sesshoumaru. Kagome, sweet, stupid Kagome, who couldn't hurt him to save herself, forgets everything. Everything but her mantra and the will to save Sesshoumaru at all costs.

The youkai is losing, probably because he's too distracted by what's happening with her. Inuyasha throws blow after blow. Sesshoumaru has a hole in his chest.

It's all thanks to her. This new Inuyasha, a stranger with red eyes, with no restrains and a hell of a lot of strength, is winning. And damn it, those ears are still the ones she used to pet. The hair is the one she combed with her fingers. Those are the arms that used to be around her to protect her, and those claws used to fend for her. Sango keeps throwing that bloody boomerang and blocking Kagome from Sesshoumaru's side. No matter how fast she runs, or where she wanders to, she keeps finding her. She launches ball after ball of miko power, but Sango is just too fast. Another stranger with a familiar face.

Except…

Sango never smirked so evilly. Inuyasha never really could win against Sesshoumaru. Kagome never really was useful. Things have changed.

Sango comes at her, a direct attack. No hesitation.

Well, fine, be that way.

Kagome stands still, waits for her, smiles just at the last second. A wall of miko power builds, pushing Sango to the other direction, cutting her from where they are. "I'm afraid you're not coming through." She tells Sango, who glares. It's an odd look on someone that used to be so gentle. "It hurts, huh? To try to break through? If you were hanyou or youkai, you'd already be dead, so I suppose you're still somewhat human."

"You can't keep this up for long." The hate in that voice is palpable.

Sango is right, of course. The wall is long and tall enough to keep her away, but Kagome's strength won't hold for long. "I don't have to." Just enough to help Sesshoumaru. Kagome turns from Sango and starts to move towards him.

"What? You're just going to leave? Not even going to finish this?"

Sesshoumaru doesn't look good, Kagome doesn't have time, but she stops anyway. She stops because, once, what seems like a million years ago, Sango was her sister in everything but blood. "Sango…" So many things to say, so little time. She settles for the most important one. "Next time I see you, I'll kill you."

Sango's eyes actually widen.

"What, I'm not your 'sister' anymore?"

Her eyes fall on the bracelet Mali gave her. A groan almost leaves her mouth before she pulls it together. Now is not the time for pride. Some of her power channels towards it. '_Please,'_ she thinks, _'let this thing work.' _

Her eyes lock on Sango once more. For a moment, Kagome wishes she could see the Sango she loved in the depth of those red eyes. But all she can see is this monster, this puppet with Sango's body. "No," she breathes deep, "You aren't. Not anymore."

Kagome turns her back to Sango, and runs to join Sesshoumaru, praying the whole way that her barrier will be strong enough to keep her out.

Begging to be on time to reach Sesshoumaru.

* * *

Mali jolts in surprise as the blasted bracelet sends a shock through her arm. She knew it was a bad idea to make it shock her instead of, who knows? Shine? Make noise? Sometimes she can be such a masochist, not that she will ever admit it.

And realization washes over her. The bracelet shocked her. _The bracelet just shocked her._

"Kagome."

In a fluid movement, she's up and out of her tent. Around her miko train and go around their normal activities. Somewhere out there, their only chance for peace is in terrible danger. She must be. Even when she handed the bracelet to Kagome, Mali knew she would only use it in an extreme emergency. She'd have to be desperate, and she could think of very few situations that could put her in that situation with that youkai of hers looming around. Mali just didn't expect it to be so soon.

"Yurika!" Her voice rises through the camp, and all miko instantly stop what they were doing. Their leader is always collected, always in control. Nothing fazes her. Her cool is constantly kept, and she never, for any reason at all, raises her voice. The silence continues to stretch until Yurika finally darts to Mali´s side. Before the other miko could even open her mouth, Mali starts speaking.

"Contact the miko following Kagome. Ask them for the location where they last sensed her. Gather forces. Get the best warriors and sensors. I want Emi to start quick preparations, and Tomoe to sense for anything not human. Sayore will stay in charge while we're gone."

"Gone?" Yurika was starting to look as worried as Mali felt.

"Yes. Kagome is in danger, and we must move as fast as we can." Her grey eyes locked on hers. The calculating look in them reminded Yurika exactly how experienced her superior was. "We're going to aid her."

* * *

Kagome will one day write a book about how fast a battle can go from extremely bad to completely terrible. It will contain all her experience in battles (which is terrible, and usually ends in the death of friends… and occasionally her own death). People will read it and do absolutely nothing. With her luck, they will even believe it's nothing but a fairy tale. She'll be a heroine that can't do anything right, and she'll be surrounded by heroes never meant to save anything. Maybe someone will make a movie out of it.

Right now, everything is going wrong. The wall she built to keep Sango out of her way weakens. Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha fight, but Sesshoumaru has lost so much blood, and Inuyasha isn´t giving him time to recover. They're fighting too close to the cliff, and Kagome has a flashback of Shippo falling down a mountain, never to be seen again. She pushes the memory away. Her focus has to set on Sesshoumaru, and in figuring out a way to save him. Because this time, he actually needs her help. Because she refuses to let Inuyasha hurt him anymore, and maybe she can't fight the puppet to save herself, but she'll be damned if she stays put while Sesshoumaru gets hurt.

And this is wrong, wrong, wrong. The way she feels is terrible, a mistake, and she'll pay for it.

She loved Inuyasha so much…

He was her first interest, the one she could never take her eyes away from. He was the first person to ever threaten her, and also the first to make her feel completely safe. Her first love and her first heartbreak. Because of him, she learned what it meant to mourn, yearn, despair, and feel torment. It was by his side that she knew tenderness, illusion, and hope that never wavered. She learned how one smile could make her feel all warm inside, and how one small look had more power than a thousand words.

Sesshoumaru was nothing more than the annoying, scary, mean older brother that wanted to kill him.

He was _nothing_.

Just one more enemy turned into an ally. Just Inuyasha´s half brother. Merely another person in Feudal Japan.

Tingly, warm, safe, cared for, needed, wanted, confident, strong...and she cannot, for the life of her, understand why it´s now Sesshoumaru she yearns for. Why he fills her mind and her heart, and sometimes it´s like he´s part of her in a way that Inuyasha never was. This youkai was supposed to be nothing. Even after he brought her back to life and trained her, even after all the time they spent together, he was supposed to be nothing. Maybe a necessary ally. Perhaps a friend. But not this…whatever it is that she feels for him and makes her strong enough to attack Inuyasha.

But _then _he had to go and be there all the time, help her find her own strength, find her own way, believe in herself, not allow her to give up, offer a hand even when she didn't want it, and now… It's Sesshoumaru, not Inuyasha, who invades her thoughts and brings her whole self to life, and she can´t understand…

She doesn't know what she feels for him.

But she does know what she feels for Inuyasha is a ghost of a memory, a shadow, a thought barely lingering, and Sesshoumaru is screaming in her mind, a flame burning strong, and she'll do whatever is necessary to help him.

Inuyasha isn't paying attention to his surroundings. All his focus is on Sesshoumaru. It was always his weakness. He puts too much focus on the enemy in front of him and not the ones at the side. It seems death only made it worse. Sesshoumaru, though, is always aware of his surroundings, and especially of her. His golden, much more familiar eyes widen just the tiniest bit. She shakes her head at him, silently asks him to keep his position. He seems to understand and continues to fight as if she was not there.

The barrier is barely holding. She has a few minutes left, and then her strength will falter.

Sesshoumaru lets Inuyasha get close; he lets his sword pierce him at the side. Inuyasha smirks, sure the victory is his, and while he gloats, Kagome takes her opportunity. She runs towards them, and Inuyasha finally turns to look at her, his smirk faltering as he realizes she is too close for him to do anything.

He should really pay more attention to his surroundings.

Kagome places her palm on the hanyou´s right hand even as her other hand reaches towards Sesshoumaru. Not letting go of either of them, she pushes her body closer against Sesshoumaru, hoping the impulse will be enough to make them fall off the cliff and towards the river.

"Hold on to me," she whispers in his ear. As his eyes land on hers, she closes hers, focuses her miko powers towards the hand gripping Inuyasha, purifying it completely.

A mirror image of his half brother´s past wound.

Her hand closes around thin air as she finally falls with Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha´s scream following her. They fall, fall, fall, and his blood is everywhere, around them, and he is so weak right now…Kagome never really thought he'd be able to die.

"Do not worry." He says, even as they fall and he keeps bleeding. Kagome realizes the fall is not as short as she expected, and with both their conditions, neither of them will survive. Kagome is exhausted, but she did not come this far only to die and be washed away by a damned river. She lets the barrier fall and uses whatever strength she has left to build a bubble around them.

With any luck, it will cushion their fall.

Just as they hit the water, her exhaustion finally takes the best of her, and the bubble breaks. Water blows all around her. For a moment, Sesshoumaru´s arms tighten around her, but a moment later they're not there anymore.

She hopes he´ll survive. It doesn´t matter if she doesn´t, just as long as he does.

_´Just this one thing…´_And then blackness finally takes her away.

* * *

**I know, I'm horrible, again, but hey! I alredy know what's going to happen in this story! I have it all planned out, and as of next chapter, things will start to move...towards the end. Don't worry! We still have at least 8 chapters more to go, but yeah, I'm going to start wrapping it up. You know, actually start answering questions instead of making more. We'll learn much more about Inuyasha's new...state, the war will break, allies will come together, other characters will come back in play and...**

**Another one of Kagome's old circle will come back, though he was never truly dead. Just believed to be dead. With him, of course, one of my favorite characters, some tendion between Kagome and Sesshoumaru, and you know, all those dramas that come in a war against Naraku.**


	23. Love Not Meant To Be

**People, I deserve to be punished for how long I kept you waiting. Really. Never again. Still, with University and work (I started working) I barely had time to even breath! Oh, and I'm moving to Switzerland for a whole deal, so fixing that was kind of a nightmare (way too many papers, way too much legal stuff). Still, me moving anywhere else won't mean I'll stop writing. Or this story. In fact, I have a ten hour flight to get to work on the next chapter, he. Well, enjoy this chapter, and again, my deepest apologies.**

**Thanks to…**

**EvelynAmor, Jewfish, Eternal FIre1's Fan Girl (love the name, hahahaha), mushimushoo, for not giving up on this story.**

**Trelweny Rosephoenixwolf – I hope not to disappoint you with this one!**

**Mona Keine - Thnak you for your comments! I am trying to make them not too OOC, you know? Trying to think how they would act if they were in this situation. It helps to have an outside point of view. It's refreshing.**

**Saoirse Driscoll – So sorry to keep you waiting!**

**Crazynechan – jajajaja, sip, si es Koga, aunque dos personas más van a aparecer, y mmm, no se si quedan 8 capítulos más o un poco más. Todavía tengo que trabajar más en el lado de Naraku.**

**xXthenextbookwormXx – Expect fluff in…I don't know, sometime son!**

**Llebreknit – Oh, Gossh, I don't even know how long I kept you waiting! I swear I won't ever do it again!**

**Reminiscent Shadow – Ah! Tension in the future between Kagome, Sesshoumaru, and Koga!**

**Zero-serenity – Hahahaha, you know me too well!**

**AllySan – Hola! Muchisimas gracias port us comentarios. Siempre hacen mi día! Y gracias por no dejar la historia!**

* * *

**Fragments of a Shattered Moon**

**To Love Not Meant To Be**

"_Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."  
-Neil Gaiman_

* * *

"_The miko is dead, sir. There is no mistaking it."_

"_Did you find a body?" __Koga is nothing if not stubborn, though he prefers the term persistent. Others prefer thick headed. Whatever the term, he will not be any different in this aspect. Especially in this. __To do so, to let this one thing go easily…frankly, he is terrified of what he'll do if he stops believing that she is alive._

"_No, there was no body, but…"_

_He cuts the other youkai off before he can say another word. His blue eyes pierce him, and the other youkai recoils."If there is no body, then we can't be certain."_

_The other youkai would like to point out that Inuyasha's body was not found either, and he is considered very dead. Of course, one of the scouts saw Naraku take Inuyasha's body parts, along with another female human, back with him. It was not the miko though, and her body has yet to be found. Still, he saw the area where the battle took place. There is no way she is alive. It really is a pity that they only heard word of the fight when it was over and done with._

"_Sir…" But the youkai thinks better of continuing. Koga is a fair leader, strong and intelligent, and it is only because of him that they've stayed alive for this long. Many years of this same constant war against Naraku, however, have hardened Koga. There are things better left unsaid, especially with that look inn his eyes._

"_She is not dead."_

"_The miko's blood was all over…"_

"_Take me to the place."_

_The youkai sighs. "Yes, sir." He knows a lost fight when he sees one._

_Koga turns to leave, and as he's walking away, he calls out. "And her name is Kagome, not miko."_

* * *

'Just this one thing.' Kagome thinks as water engulfs her. 'Just please, please, please, let Sesshoumaru live.' She pleads, begs, demands. There's no oxygen, her lungs hurt, and this is her end, but she doesn't have time to give herself a thought. Her last moments are for him. 'Please, let him live.'

And there is no more.

Except…

' I love him. Kami, I 'm _in love_ with him'.

…there is.

* * *

The moment he was informed of Ryo's message, his first feeling was hope, which he thought he was over with.

Next, though, came negation.

Just because a miko had been fighting the puppets didn't mean that Kagome was alive. There were plenty of miko left for the puppets to fight. In fact, there was a price to their head. All of Naraku's men were trying to kill all remaining miko. That almost makes it mandatory for him to try to help them whenever they need help, even if they've refused said help. He hasn't been trying to get them to agree to much. They remind him too much of Kagome. Still, for every miko he saves, it is one Naraku doesn't kill. Even if they work apart, they still work to defeat him. The more, the merrier.

If the puppets were involved, though, it can only mean powerful miko, and do surely belong to Mali. It pretty much makes them strong enemies of Naraku, and worth saving. Ryo was forcefully woken to lead the way, and his best soldiers were ready in an instant. There was no time to waste. There was most definitely no time to think of Kagome. Not every miko was her. In fact, no one was her. She was dead, and no matter how many miko he saved, it would not bring her back.

She would have liked him to save them.

* * *

_There is a difference between a big, bloody, hard fight, and a massacre. It is obvious, miles away from Inuyasha's last fight, that it was a massacre. Koga doubts they even had a chance, and his hope for Kagome dims._

'_Persistence.' __He thinks. __'Until proven otherwise, Kagome is still alive.'_

_When he heard about Inuyasha and Sango, (for what other female human could it be?) he had felt his heart constrict. It had been a bit surprising, considering he did not care for Sango, and Inuyasha was not his favorite person._

_They had been allies, though, and as close to friends as one could get with the holder of his beloved's heart. Maybe, if Kagome had not been in the way, if she had not loved Inuyasha so, or if Koga himself had loved her less, they could have been closer friends._

_It had not been._

_One look at Kagome, and he had been sold. The more time he spent with her only seem to make his feeling grow stronger. Truth was, Kagome had taken over him. He carried her in his thoughts always, everywhere he went, a constant haunting of what he longed for. She had him wrapped around his fingers, and to his utter devastation, she did to care or want for him._

_Her heart was, completely and utterly, Inuyasha's._

_The stupid mutt, who was in love with her, perhaps loved her as much as he did, but who was determined to drive her away, and for a dead miko, none the less. Had Kagome loved him even one third of how she loved Inuyasha, he would have never let her go._

_As it was, he wasn't letting her go._

_And she was not dead._

_Couldn't be._

_He wouldn't allow it. If she is dead, then he is dead, too._

_Yet the moment his foot touches ground, not even before the other one has time, he knows he is dead._

_So is Kagome._

_Her blood, or the scent that it left, is everywhere. And by the smell of it, by the nauseating odor it emits, enough is out of Kagome's body for her to be gone. _

_What he felt when he heard of Inuyasha's dead, or when his village was almost wiped out, is nothing compared to this. Because he is dead, though not entirely. Still alive, but with Kagome gone, and of course he is not dead. It would not be this painful. __He can't stand to be here anymore. He refuses to sniff and see what else his nose could pick. __Kagome is dead. It is all that matteres. Whatever else happened here, he didn't want to know it. He didn't care to._

_Nothing mattered anymore._

_For her memory, though, he walked through the battle field, scarring everything in his brain, from the burned grass to the broken branches until he reached the cliff. He would not smell, but he would forever carry the image of Kagome's last place alive._

_Koga, still holding his breath, looked down, and what he saw made him break his promise to not smell and let out a gasp._

* * *

There's a girl next to a river looking desperately at it, wondering if maybe drowning is a good idea. Her cheeks are red with the cold and her eyes watery with the weight of her thoughts. She is soaked from head to toe, and wondering if she should just jump back in. In all truth, she doesn't even know how she got out. She woke up, freezing and exhausted, but alive.

There was no Sesshoumaru next to her.

It truly is a tragedy. Her black hair is a mess, and the wind chills her wet body. She's hugging herself, trying to keep warm. If her shaking is anything to go by, she is failing miserably.

There is no Sesshoumaru in sight.

"Fuck." Kagome whispers, air visible as it leaves her mouth. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." She repeats over and over again, to emphasis exactly how she feels.

Because, as if having her ex-love brought back to life, evil and scary and very much at Naraku's side was not enough, she's fallen irrevocably, undeniably, unquestionably, in love with Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru, whom Inuyasha hated when alive…and normal, in any existence, really. Sesshoumaru, who had the iciest eyes she'd ever seen. Who tried to kill her thousands of times. Sesshoumaru, who brought her back to life and taught her to live again. Sesshoumaru, who makes her laugh with his peculiar humor and made his instinct to protect her. The one who ever left her side, and offered a hand when he did not have to, nor did he want to. Sesshoumaru, who has become a part of her in a way that Inuyasha never was. Never could be.

The river is really looking tempting.

It's the way he almost invisibly smiles. The way his eyes shine when he is exited, and the way he makes the world know of his discomfort. Never afraid to be exactly who he is and demand exactly what he deserves. And she'll be damned if she isn't enchanted by the way his body flows, his mind works, and his feelings functions. She never thought…never imagined…

She should have seen it coming.

She was never, ever, meant to fall in love with him; she's never been good at doing what she should.

His eyes are not supposed to drown her. His lips shouldn't tempt her. The lust she feels at the sight of his body should not be welcomed. Running her hands through that perfect hair isn't an impulse she should have. Loving his soul and heart and every single cell that is him, with this force, in such an enormous way, without her knowing until know. Not even with Inuyasha…

It's wrong, wrong, wrong.

It's sick and nauseating, and if she ever finds him again (and she _will_ find him), it will torment her until it destroys her.

She should _not _feel this.

It'll destroy her.

Kagome has seen the future. She was born in it. Kagome has seen the past. She is living in it. Sometimes, she thinks a part of her will always belong 500 years away from her real time. Considering the stupid well refuses to work, her future may very well be in the past. The future is emptiness, for she knows he is not in her Era. The past is tears, with the name of his half-brother in every single one of them. Winning is not for her, and how can she expect to win this one?

But want will not be denied. Love will not be denied. She hates herself all over again because she is hoping, she started hoping the minute he offered his hand to help, and she hasn't stopped since then. And because she knows the future and is living in the god damn past, she knows this is not meant to be.

She thought she was done with hoping when she lay in her pool of blood and everyone had died in front of her eyes, and Sesshoumaru fixed his cold, golden eyes on her and let her die. Maybe said demon bringing her back to life had something to do with her hoping again.

She should have learned by now.

It's Sesshoumaru, not Inuyasha, who invades her thoughts and brings warmth into her heart. Inuyasha is the ghost of a memory, and she _can't _understand it… He is the shadow of a love, a thought barely lingering, and Sesshoumaru is the bright, loud, obnoxious, scream at the very front of her mind.

Fuck.

* * *

It is a silhouette aside the river, at first. Black hair, white skin, and an air that is achingly painful. His heart goes up his throat when he sees her. Although some part of it is because she is right there, right in front of him, not a dream or a hallucination but actually there…

She's soaking wet. She has multiple bruises, nasty cuts, delicate injuries that Kouga knows mean she's been tortured. Her face has an ugly shade of gray, and her hair is all tangles. She looks like she's about to fall on her knees and faint. In fact, it's a miracle she's barely standing. It's a far cry from the last memory he has of Kagome, with her glossy hair and pink cheeks, a smile, and so, so very much alive…

She still hasn't moved from the spot in which he found her. In fact, she doesn't even seem to sense his presence, though he has been standing in the same spot for nearly ten minutes. Her eyes won't leave the river.

Koga has to remember to breathe, to bring himself back to reality. His men, twenty of his best soldiers are waiting for orders, and they all look uneasy. Koga gets it. Not only did he become paralyzed the moment he was close enough to almost touch her; Naraku's men could be nearby. His eyes haven't left her figure for one moment. Can anyone blame him? Naraku was supposed to have taken her life, to have stolen even the smallest glances he got from her, to have ripped her from his life before he had the chance to bring her into it.

Kagome is most definitely not supposed to be alive.

He shouldn't be surprised. After all, isn't he hiding supposedly dead people in his ranks?

But this…

When Ryo came to him and told him, he wanted to not believe him, to crash the hope that started to surface. Yet here he is. Because if there was even a small chance that she was still alive, he would take it. Because life without her has been agonizing. Because this war he has been battling is only to survive, not to live…because everything turned dull and gray and filled with the scent of her blood after she died.

And now Kagome is here, even if she seems so distant. She's alive, and after so many months of thinking she was gone, of pushing that love that burned deep inside him and refused to go…she's here. Right here in front of him.

Kouga doesn't know if he should just hold her and never let her go, or shake her out of whatever spell is holding her still, so he can make sure she hasn't lost her mind.

"We can't trust her." Koga turns his head to Jiro sharply. He is another wolf youkai , one of the few left. He also happens to be his right hand. Koga is about to respond, and probably say something nasty to his trusted friend, but a voice stops him.

"Of all the ghosts from my past." her voice is sweet melancholy, a sound he thought he'd been deprived of. "You are one glorious surprise." She turns to look directly in his eyes, and he forgets to breathe for one long second. They are the same blue that made him sigh and turn to mush. The same blue eyes always fixated on Inuyasha. The innocence, though, is all gone. For a second, he is reminded of the smell of her blood, burned grass, and too much dead.

'It's in her eyes.' He thinks. 'That battle and whatever came after is in her eyes'.

"You didn't happen to have allied yourself with Naraku, too?" His pure look of disgust and hatred must have been answer enough, for she laughs. To his surprise, it is not a haunted laugh like her gaze. It's more like a cry of relieve. "Good. I don't think I can fight any more of Naraku's men today."

Only pure instinct makes him catch her as she faints. Nuzzled against his chest, he buries his nose into her hair, smells the river in it, and does everything in his power to not break down into hysteric sobs.

Kagome is alive.

* * *

He'd rather be dead.

It's not like he actually wants to be dead, because he is the great Sesshoumaru, and he has things to do. Like find Kagome and never let her out of his sight. Oh, and kill Naraku for everything he took away, and just for principle.

Still, right now, death sounds much better.

"Stop poking, human, before I rip your arm." He growls, narrowing his eyes and trying to make the stupid miko disappear by sheer will. It should work. In the future, he'll practice until he gets 'combustion by glaring' onto his lists of powers. It should come handy.

Mali frowns and proceeds to ignore him. "You should feel lucky I'm taking my time to heal you. Especially since you smell like a wet dog."

Sesshoumaru counts to ten in his head, realizes that won't work, and makes a list of reasons why he shouldn't kill the miko. It is a very short list. Unfortunately, it includes 'strong ally with lots of annoying miko that can go annoy Naraku'. Maybe if he says it was an accident…He's sure Kagome would turn a blind eye to it.

"It will heal by itself." He finally says, removing himself from her hold. Only Kagome is allowed to 'fix' him. "And if you ever compare me to a common dog again, I'll forget you are an ally." He walks away from her. All these miko are suffocating him, making him anxious and frustrated. None of thess miko are his miko. Kagome is nowhere in sight. He woke up surrounded by all these humans, and the only one that mattered was not there.

It's been a day since Inuyasha and the female attacked, and Kagome is not next to him. It hasn't been too long. The river probably just took her in another direction from him. She's probably looking for him right now, frantic and scared, and thinking the worst possible scenarios, which will make her do the most idiotic things. Stupid, stupid, Kagome, thinking he could not survive the fall, putting him before herself. As if an arm through his stomach could kill him. Granted, he lost conscience, and Mali might have aided him a little by getting him out of the river, but he wouldn't have drowned. He's above such mundane things as drowning. Actually, he would have been just fine even without this humans' help. He's above them, too.

Mali is again by his side. It seems old age has disallowed her to get the hint to get lost.

"How did you manage to lose Kagome?"

Sesshoumaru has enough. A snarl, and then Mali is trapped between a tree and a very dangerous and angry youkai. His claws dig into her skin, drawing blood. He basks in it. "Don't." He growls dangerously. "Don't mention her."

Kagome…

His body demands her presence. All of him goes out to her. His senses stretch, desperate for any sign from her. He doesn't even try to fight it back. What is the point? Whatever hold Kagome has on him, is undeniable. It's become a part of who he is, and as much as he dislikes it, he also doesn't know how to live without it anymore. Maybe before he brought her back to life, the idea would have been unthinkable, but now…now that she is all that is left, that he is all she has…

He will allow himself this; whatever it is he is feeling, just for her. Only her. He's lost too much, _all,_ to not let himself have this.

"We'll find her."

"It's not your job." Sesshoumaru steps back from her. "She is not yours to find."

Kagome is his. His partner. His miko. His…something.

Mali's eyes narrow. "You are wrong. That girl is our chance against Naraku. Want it or not, we come with you to find her. She is everyone's to find."

"No."

"She's under our protection."

"No." Sesshoumaru says firmly as he walks away. "She's under _my _protection."

Whatever she, or anyone else thinks, Kagome is just his to find. They'll probably follow him, annoying miko brats as they are, and he can't go to fast enough to lose them. Kagome could be in any state. Unconscious, in the enemies hands, injured, weak…endless possibilities. His search will have to be thorough.

Her tortured body in Inuyasha's hands haunt him. The painful look she sent Inuyasha's way as she purified him feels like a stab.

'She could have ended it there'. His mind provides. 'Could have gotten rid of him right in that moment, but she didn't'. Yes, Kagome chose to save him, but she also chose to let Inuyasha live, and that hurts more than any injury he could get. 'She still loves Inuyasha'. It should not hurt. His heart should not feel like it has been squeezed right in his chest. It's not new information. It's basic knowledge of Kagome. She loves Inuyasha, will love him until the end of times. It shouldn't make a difference to him, who she loves. Kagome is just his partner, the closest thing he's ever had to a friend, and nothing more.

But…

Why? Why does she provoke these feelings inside him? What gives her the right to get under his skin? To bring these feelings he's never wanted? To make him care by just existing? Who is she to make him, Sesshoumaru, feel anything but disdain? How dare she make him feel so much, so close to things he doesn't want to name? He wants Kagome, desires her even with all her imperfections. His blood sings for her, and Sesshoumaru is torn between what he's told himself all his life and what is now happening. Torn between wanting her, and knowing she will always want someone else.

"If you're going to follow me, at least try to hide your presence from me." He tells Mali, who now is walking some steps behind him with all the other miko is following. "I have no time to deal with you."

When did he come to desire Inuyasha's almost miko for himself?

Kagome…

He will find her. And she will be his, though she is already is his. Maybe she was Inuyasha's before, but not this time. This time, she is Sesshoumaru's. He brought her back to life, felt her heart under his hand as it started again.

Kagome is his. The rest of the world _will_ deal with it.

* * *

**Again, I have no words for how ashamed I am for keeping you waiting as long as I did. Really, really, sorry.**


	24. I Wish I Could Make It Happen

**Switzerland is great! I've loved it so far, though learning German is extra hard. Like really really hard, but that's okay. I like a challenge. Anyway, I'm putting this up real fast (I'm going to venice for the weekend...I know! Exciting!) But I wanted to leave you with this and...**

**What the hell. I'll pack later.**

**Thanks to...**

**Kura-sama . Ah, poor Koga…I don't think Sesshoumaru is going to be very nice with him, especially after he finds out some things.**

**Aralea Lorain _ Oh, that is exactly what I want my readers to do! To fell as if they're in the story!**

**Inufan155687 – Of course they can't tell each other yet! But soon! Oh, I do hope soon!**

**Zero-serenity – Why, I have to make things difficult for Sesshoumaru. I kind of like torturing him a little :P And yeah, poor Koga, I feel for him.**

**Trelweny Rosephoenuxwolf – Yes, you've met Ryo before. Don't worry if you don't remember him, he was just passing by, and I'll make you remember and then you'll say 'ah, I remember him'. So no worries there. Oh, and Koga! I always make him suffer! I have half a mind to write a small piece for Kag/Sess after this! And yeah, I think Kagome would have the same trouble attacking anyone, It just happened to be Inuyasha…and Sesshoumaru always blames everything on Inuyasha.**

**AllySan – Primeroque nada, gracias por disfrutar tanto esta historia! Si, me mude a Suiza por un anio. Estoy haciendo lo que se llama 'Au Pair', y la verdad a valido mucho la pena. En cuenta a Koga…enserio, debo dejar de hacerlo sufrir tanto en mis historias! Y Sesshoumaru, siempre he pnsado que una vez que se enamora, da todo, porque nunca lo hace, no? Siempre es tan reservado que en algo tiene que salirse.**

**XxBlEeDiNg BlAcK rOsEsXx – Don't hunt me down!**

**WhiteLines-HurricaneGirl – Hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

**Fragments of a Shattered Moon**

_**I wish I could make it happen**_

**I still dream of Orgonon.  
I wake up cryin'.  
You're making rain,  
And you're just in reach,  
When you and sleep escape me.**

**You're like my yo-yo**  
**That glowed in the dark.**  
**What made it special**  
**Made it dangerous,**  
**So I bury it**  
**And forget.**

**-Cloudbusting, Kate Bush**

* * *

_Kikyo watches the wolf demon while no one sees her._

_She steals fast glances, minute lasting gazes, and long, hard looks._

_The youkai never notices. His eyes are glued on Kagome, and not once, not even the time she spent thirty minutes trying to find out what was going on behind that thick head, did he look her way. __Oh, he could sense her. She knew he could. Being a youkai, being in a war, made you aware of your surroundings. It's just that he won't acknowledge her. He ignores her because, to him, there is only Kagome, and Kikyo is just the other miko. An ally he sometimes talks to about strategy and nothing more._

_She likes him because of that. __If she could choose someone for Kagome, it would be him._

_Kouga, who always puts her first, who built a small army just to protect her, who stands Inuyasha only because Kagome loves him. __Koga, who looks heartbroken every time Kagome smiles at Inuyasha, who looks at Kikyo with something close to hatred because her sole existence makes Kagome sad. Who dislikes her because he can't understand how Inuyasha could choose her when Kagome is right there, loving the hanyou. _

_Kouga would kill for that spot. Most importantly, Kouga will put Kagome's needs and wants first, and for that, he has won Kikyo forever._

_More than having Naraku's head or finally being able to rest or having a normal, human life Kikyo wants Kagome to be happy. To have an easy life. To not have to worry about miko responsibilities. She wants Kagome to have a love so pure it'll hurt others' eyes with their corniness. To be held by a man that adores her, holds her tenderly, makes promises he'll keep. A man she can always count on, can trust and respect. A man that'll make her eyes blur with tears because she can't believe how happy she is. __She wants, in Kagome, to have that second chance at life. After all, that young miko is Kikyo hundreds of years from now. That miko can have what she never had, and in a way, it'll be like she had it._

_But Kagome won't look at Kouga, with her eyes glued on Inuyasha all the time._

_And Kikyo wonders if maybe Kagome is just a bit of a masochist, because something tells her even without Inuyasha, she would not look at Kouga. She'd probably find someone even more difficult. With both their luck, Kagome would fall for Sesshoumaru, cold, hard youkai to his very core. Maybe Sesshoumaru would be a better choice than Inuyasha. Perhaps Kagome would be able to melt Sesshoumaru's harshness._

_Probably not, though. _

_The youkai would consider her less than him, just a nuisance, and Kagome would stare at him with shining eyes, and never be looked at. __At least Inuyasha loves her, even if it's not the time or place. Really, sometimes Kikyo gets so desperate she just wants to put a bow on Inuyasha and say 'here, take him, be happy, please, please, please, be happy and stop wasting my second chance, your life, our joy.'_

_Kagome would probably not believe her._

_Kouga would get it, though. Kikyo knows, from watching Kouga every time no one is looking, that he, too, would want a second chance. The wolf youkai would sell his soul to be the one that met Kagome first, to make her fall in love with him before she met Inuyasha, to…_

"_It wouldn't work." The deep voice says suddenly. Kouga hasn't moved. He's still looking at Kagome with Kikyo staring at him._

"_What?"_

"_Whatever you think when you look at me."_

_Kikyo allows a small smirk to play at her lips. "It probably isn't what you think."_

_He gives her a toothy smile. "You want me to sweep Kagome off her feet because you know, and I know, and hell, even Naraku knows, that I'm better for her. You know, for all you pretend to dislike her, you're very interested in keeping her as safe and happy as possible."_

"_Yes." Really, no use denying the truth. "Unfortunately," she gives Kouga a long look, "she seems to prefer dogs."_

_Kouga laughs out loud. "Maybe she'll outgrow them."_

_Her eyes travel quickly to Sesshoumaru, who for once is with the group, looking bored as Inuyasha yells at him about something. "Perhaps she'd just choose another dog."_

_Kouga follows her gaze. "No way. She'd choose me, if dog breath hadn't gotten to her first."_

"_Wouldn't it be perfect if she chose you even with Inuyasha here?"_

_Kouga's eyes turn darker. "Some things aren't possible, and Kagome will never put someone before Inuyasha." And if there is deception and longing in that voice, Kikyo pretends not to notice._

"_Ah." Kikyo says, eyes dark and hard and sad. "But isn't it nice to wish for it?"_

"_I hope in the future, my reincarnation gets to her first."_

"_Your reincarnation failed. She met Inuyasha first."_

"_The future is not written down yet, and she's only eighteen."_

"_Mmmm, I do wonder…." And Kikyo thinks of Kagome safe in her time, tripping while walking, as she so often does. Someone will catch her, and when she lifts her eyes to see who, she'll stare into blue eyes instead of yellow, and she'll fall in love with those eyes because the past won't matter and the present will be tangible and the future full of possibilities._

"_Next time," Kouga says, "she'll be mine." He needs to believe it, and Kikyo doesn't tell him about how improbable that is._

_Next to them, the fight between Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha has escalated, and Kagome is now between them, clearly protecting Inuyasha. Sesshoumaru turns and walks away, deciding they are not worth his time. He doesn't even look at Kagome._

* * *

Kagome is fine. Wherever she is, whatever she is doing.

She _is_ fine.

It can't be any other way.

"Are you sure this is where you fought?"

Sesshoumaru will kill Mali, and before killing her, he'll kill every single miko that follows Mali in front of her eyes. He'll take his time with each one. Savor the look in Mali's eyes, and when he's done, he'll kill Mali fast because by then he'll have wasted more time that is necessary on her. Of course, this has to wait until Naraku is dead. Now Naraku really has to die, if there ever was a doubt about it. Killing Mali as a reward after the hard work is all he could ask. And finding Kagome. But that is all he wants, and considering he _is_ Sesshoumaru, it is nothing at all. He's been quite generous in his goals, actually. Not bothering with Mali, he walks away, as he usually does when the human says something stupid…which is all the time.

"Sense, miko." He growls.

Is she really supposed to be the most powerful miko now existing? And why does she question him? It is obvious there was a fight here. The air tingles with Kagome's remaining power, and the trees are destroyed, and…it looks like a fucking battle just went down.

Sesshoumaru contains himself and refrains from making another hole through a tree. Why does he always get stuck with beings beyond his obvious greatness? Why do humans feel the need to question him? Do they not know he could kill them as fast as it would take for them to take their next breath?

How dare Kagome not come back to him?

How dare she wander alone?

Why would she, in any state of mind, think he needed her help? Most importantly, why is she not waiting for him anywhere near the stupid river or battle field?

He closes his eyes, and he can still see her…those blue eyes filled with fear as she ran towards him, holding him close to her, and then turning towards Inuyasha to face him full just as she purified a part of him. He couldn't see her eyes, but he saw part of her face, and there was nothing but raw pain in it. Kagome will never stop loving Inuyasha, and he should really not be worried about her. He should not worry for her, should not wish and need and want her body, her mind, her heart…her all…

Sesshoumaru knows himself, and he knows very well that he will not accept anything but everything. Kagome can only give him a small part of her, and Sesshoumaru already knows it's not enough. Especially not with Kagome, who he wants for him, to be with him, to share with him, to…

The wind shifts, and Sesshoumaru catches a scent that brings him out of his thoughts.

"Kouga." He says, quietly, and menacingly. He was here. With Kagome. And they left together.

Kouga, with Kagome, somewhere.

Sesshoumaru's eyes sparkle with a very dark emotion. He will find them, and then he will take Kagome away from the wolf and teach the inferior youkai exactly _why _you don't take anything that belongs to him.

* * *

Something is wrong.

Inuyasha holds his regenerated right arm, an injury he knows was a mirror one to the one he once gave his older half-brother.

Except Sesshoumaru didn't give it to him. It was Kagome, Kagome, who in his memories would never raise a hand against him, not even to defend herself. Kagome, who looked at him with determined eyes as she purified his arm just to save Sesshoumaru.

Frankly, he shouldn't care. Even if he remembers everything from his past, Naraku was supposed to remove every single emotion from him except the will to do as his Lord pleases.

Everything else should not matter to him.

His love for Kagome, his pain for Kikyo, and anger towards Sesshoumaru should not be a concern. Those memories are only there so he can use them against his ex-allies. They give him the edge necessary to destroy his Lord's most powerful enemies. He almost killed Kouga with them.

Sango definitely has no problems with those memories. The old Sango from his past doesn't exist anymore. She lives to fulfill Naraku's desires, nothing more. It should be this way from him, too.

But then, why did the fact that Kagome attacked him hurt more than the injury itself?

He tortured her for a good hour before Sesshoumaru showed up with no regrets. Taunting her with her love for him, mocking her for not being able to inflict pain upon him even after seeing what he was now. His red eyes stared into her with discontent, and Kagome looked into his with nostalgic ones, and it changed nothing.

Until she raised her hand against him.

Until he felt her miko powers coursing through him.

Until he realized Kagome had changed as much as he had.

What happened to her after Naraku? After that year he knew nothing of her? How did she end up at Sesshoumaru's side? What the hell happened that she winded up defending him instead of dying at his hands?

How did everything become so fucked up?

"Are you bored?" Sango's voice comes from the other side of the room.

They're in lockdown, forbidden from hunting and relishing in the sight of blood. They're also recovering for the punishment inflicted upon them by Naraku. He was not happy at all when he heard of their failure.

"Yes." He answers simply.

"Me too." She snarls. "When I get my hands on that stupid girl…" Her voice has an edge of danger. "Though…" Bright, red eyes lock onto his own. He can feel her thinking. "We'll have to take a different approach." Her eyes trail down his right arm and back to his. There is mocking in the puppet's eyes. "It seems little Kagome has finally grown up enough to realize what a real war is like." More mocking. "And what a partner she found. Who would have thought she'd change you for Sesshoumaru?

Her words are not supposed to matter, but before he can help himself, he has her by the throat. "Shut up!" He hisses, red eyes glowing with anger.

Sango smirks. "Tsk, tsk, Inuyasha, are you feeling something?" Her hand touches his right arm. "Are you feeling for her?"

He lets go of Sango and turns his eyes anywhere, but at her very own. She would be able to read him easily. After all, they are the same. Just puppets for Naraku to manipulate. Their only wish to serve him.

But memories of Kagome invade his mind. He hears her laugh, and sees her smile his way. Her eyes glow with love as she looks at him, and the Inuyasha of the past fights against the Inuyasha of the present. He wants her, and he wants to kill her. He wishes to hold her gently, and he wishes to tear her apart.

He wants…

"Don't be stupid." He finally says. "My only wish is to serve Naraku. Next time, I will kill her."

'To serve Naraku', he reminds himself, 'that is the only thing I wish for.'

And he tries to shut Kagome's voice off in his head.

* * *

_Kagome wakes up, and it feels like a dream._

_Just before their last encounter with Naraku, Inuyasha was being a jerk. __The idiot even told her to 'stay out of his way as much as possible' because 'he was trying to fix things with Kikyo'. He even said it in an even voice, like he was saying 'hey, Kagome, what's for dinner? __The last thing she wants to do is to be stuck in the future with the idiotic, arrogant, stupid…_

_She opens her eyes, but she doesn't see who she expected. __In front of her is not Inuyasha, but Kouga, which is not okay because Kouga is not supposed to be able to go into the future._

"_What…?" She begins to ask, but Kouga just shrugged._

"_I guess whatever Naraku did this time messed things up." He looks up, and the sky is not as clear as it was just seconds ago. He sniffs and makes a face._

'_The smell', she thinks, 'is also not as he remembers.' __Before she has a chance to explain, he is already getting out of the well and extending his hand towards her. She takes it because she is not certain what she should do, and once they are outside, and he is standing in front of her house, he smiles._

"_So, this is where you went with Inuyasha?"_

"_What?" Kagome looks at him with wide, blue eyes, and Kouga, bastard that he is, smiles playfully at her. "Inuyasha told me everything, in case…just in case."_

"_But…"_

"_Your family lives here?"_

_What is it with youkai and never letting her finish a sentence? "Yes, but…"_

"_Let's go meet them!"_

_And just like that, she is pushed inside her own house._

_Her mother adores Kouga. His brother thinks he is way cooler that Inuyasha and her friends drool over him. __He is the perfect guest, and blends in with her future world in a way that Inuyasha never has been able to._

_The well doesn't allow them back until well after two months, but they pass fast because Kouga is next to her always, and somehow it makes everything easier._

_In those two months, Kagome does the impossible and stops thinking about Inuyasha, if just for a while. Instead, she plays along with Kouga as he introduces himself as her boyfriend. She allows him to take her hand, and play with her hair. He leaves her at school in the mornings and picks her up in the afternoons. They go for ice-cream walks, and Kagome shows him all she can of future Japan._

_It's easier than it should be. Her hand fits into his without effort. His laugh makes her laugh and something in her stomach flutters every time he fixes her with his intense eyes. __It's easy for the two of them, to be together, to make each other happy. It's easy and effortless and _right_. __Kouga kisses her sometime at the end of the last month and Kagome kisses back. The young youkai touches her cheek gently, and Kagome turns her head towards it and plants a butterfly kiss on his hand._

_Her second time is much better than her first. It is not sex, but something close enough to be love._

_He gently lays her on the bed, covers her body with light kisses, takes his time exploring her. His experienced hands trace maps across her skin; find her soft spots, and the ones that make her giggle. And all the times after that first time with him, he is gentle, passionate, fun…everything you read in the books and never get. __Kagome doesn't feel guilty or ashamed. She doesn't cry out of self-disappointment like she did after Hojo. __There is just calm, as if this was anything but inevitable._

_He buries his head in her hair and holds her close to him._

_When they finally manage to get back, though, the first thing Kagome sees is Inuyasha, and the first thing Inuyasha does is smell Kouga on her. The last two months vanish from her head as she goes to greet him. He says something harsh and rude, blood poisoned with jealously, and Kagome goes after him and tries to sooth him._

_They never talk about those two months. Whatever happened between them is never mentioned._

_If Kagome sometimes looks at him with longing, it's not for long enough for anyone to notice. __If Kouga sometimes stretches his hand to grab hers, just to have to pull it back, no one mentions it._

_Kikyo looks from afar and wonders why Kagome refuses herself happiness._

* * *

She hugs Kouga tightly.

She can't believe he is here, with her, right now. He has her in his arms, holding her tightly against his chest, smelling her hair. Kagome takes a deep breath as she is surrounded by his scent.

"I thought you were dead." She mumbles, not daring to raise her voice for fear of it all being a dream.

Kouga just brings her closer to him. "I thought _you_ were dead." He pushes her a little from him to watch her eyes. He smirks. "Deep down, I kept wishing for you to appear, and when Ryo told me about the attack…the hope..." His voice breaks, and he's unable to continue, unable to tell her how much it hurt to hope she was still alive.

The smile comes slowly to her face. "I know." She understands all about painful hope, how it can tear you apart, break you from the inside.

He nods. "You do."

He represents so many things of her past that Kagome is bombarded with many feelings that she desperately tries to push away again. Later, she will think about those things later. Right now, as sweet as this reunion is, she has to go. She has to find Sesshoumaru. Wherever he is, he is probably looking for her.

'I have to find my way back to him.' She thinks. 'I must.'

She wishes for more time in Kouga's arms, where it is safe and she can pretend nothing has happened. She would love to stay all night chatting with him. He'd make her laugh until her stomach hurt, and he'd be charming and a gentleman. Kagome would pretend Naraku hadn't stolen anything from her, and Inuyasha was just a friend and Sesshoumaru…

And Sesshoumaru would still be her purpose, because how could he not? Not even pretending can she erase how important he is to her.

Damn it, he wouldn't even care! He'd probably be grateful she was thinking about another man loving her instead of him. It'd make his life so much easier, and her life would be much easier, too. She doesn't even have to think too much to know that Kouga would be a much better choice.

But there is Sesshoumaru to think of, and no matter how much he'll later deny it; he must be getting more worried as the time apart grows.

"Kouga." She pulls away from his warmth. "I have to…"

"Move?" Kouga smiles at her. "Don't worry. You are safe here."

"Excuse me?" Finally, Kagome looks around her. She's in a tent. There are a lot of youkai outside. In fact, she's surrounded by youkai, and by the feel of them, most of them are strong, warriors. All different kinds of them.

"Where am I?"

"I brought you here when you were sleeping. We couldn't chance staying where we were. To open and close to your fight. Naraku usually sends scouts to make sure the job was done."

"But…"

"Don't worry. We covered our tracks."

Kagome feels dread starting to build. "Did you sense another youkai?"

"Eh, sorry, Kagome, I really didn't stay long, and with seeing you there and all, I just forgot about it. We didn't stay long. You fainted, and I brought you here."

"But…where is here?"

Kouga stands up, tall and proud, and says, "This is the youkai army against Naraku. Proven to be untraceable, and the most secure place you could hope to find yourself in. Welcome, Kagome."

The young miko is not sure if she should just purify Kouga into oblivion or hit her head hard over something sharp.

How will Sesshoumaru find her?

* * *

**This is it for now. Hope you enjoyed it, and it came out faster than all the rest! Yay! Go me! Ok, so now I'll leave you because I have to do some packing, but leave your review, please, please, please!**


	25. No Rest for the Miko

I **have been in a complete hurry this past few months, with a lot of traveling, and a lot of changes. However, I leave you with this...**

* * *

**Fragments of A Shattered Moon**

_**No Rest For The Miko**_

* * *

Humans are inferior beings that seem to be put on Earth with the only goal of making his life miserable.

Fine examples of this can be brought up at any time. In fact, Sesshoumaru feels it would probably take him a month to tell them all. They seem to accumulate over the years, and he has lived a very long time. His memory is so sharp that he remembers all of them.

Unfortunately. There are some…episodes he wishes to forget.

Kagome, currently, is very high on his list of 'nuisance humans'. Mali is very close, but _at least_ with her, he can fathom ways of killing her, and maybe, if life smiles at him, as he believes it always should, perform them.

It is, to his horror and grudging acceptance, different with Kagome. For one, he does not wish to kill her. It would…He just…Killing Kagome is not an option. Also, Kagome is also on his list of 'Humans that are acceptable'. It is, contrary to the other one, a very short one. It includes Rin and Kagome.

Ah, Rin…

_That_ was a human that didn't give him any troubles. Except the occasional kidnapping, making him weaker in his enemies' eyes, and the annoying following, she had been an example for all humans. '_Rin…' _Sesshoumaru stops that thought. There are things that are still too fresh, too painful, and Rin, he suspects, will always be a scar ready for opening. It's just that when Kagome is close…when her smell fills his senses, her laughter his ears, and her eyes his pupils, he can think of Rin, and it doesn't hurt so much.

Kagome…

Sesshoumaru takes her out of his mind. Not now. It is not the right time to think of her. Soon, she will be back at his side, where she belongs, and he will happily teach a lesson to the youkai that dared take her.

This brings him to his other list. The 'youkai that are in this Earth to make his life miserable'. To his surprise, it is even longer that his human one. Even worse, a significant number of the youkai are still alive. At least in his human one, only Mali and Kagome are still breathing. Ah, but youkai…although not really difficult to kill, do tend to live much longer. There were also hanyou, who seemed to just not be able to stay dead. Exemplary examples of this were Naraku and Inuyasha. He really had to make sure this time he got them. Maybe burn their bodies and throw their ashes all around the world? That seemed like a good solution to keep them dead.

Sesshoumaru turned to look behind him. Just like he suspected, the mikos had not been able to keep his speed. He also had not made an effort to allow them to keep up. He reduced his speed before finally coming to a stop. He would give them enough time to feel a little of him and keep tracking him. When he was closer to his destiny, he would stop doing this. Sesshoumaru was, first, a brilliant mind, and his mind was trained to think of winning, especially at war.

The miko could be left near enough but not close enough. Although good at hiding their trace, Sesshoumaru does not wish to bet on their abilities. He needs…and he hates the very thought of _needing_ anyone, but he needs them. Needs the youkai. Needs them both to win this war.

Needs Kagome to keep him from killing all of his allies.

Though an exception to Koga could be made.

The wolf youkai dared to take away _his_ Kagome, and it's about time people start remembering who Sesshoumaru is, and exactly what kind of pain you can get into for messing into his affairs.

Or just passing by.

* * *

"What do you mean no one can track us?"

Koga is not entirely certain on how to react to this. In truth, he has never been certain on how to act when faced with angry women, of any species, but he certainly didn't expect Kagome to go livid because he just brought her to the most secure place ever.

"Eh…" He tries, "you're safe here?" Kagome glares at him, which is certainly not the reaction he expected. "Are you sure you're not with Naraku?"

Kagome's whole body hums with her miko powers, and the air is dense with her anger. Koga, being a survivor before anything else, takes a step back.

"How the hell is he supposed to find me now?" Kagome says, more to herself than to him. She is walking from side to side, and Koga is worried she'll burn a hole into the ground. By the looks she's giving anyone who comes near her, Koga should stop worrying about the floor and start worrying about his people suddenly being purified.

Kagome is one scary woman. Koga has almost forgotten.

"Ugh, he'll make my life a living hell. I can just hear him, 'why didn't you stay right at the river?', and how am I suppose to answer that, 'I was kidnapped by wolves?' Kagome keeps ranting.

Koga frowns. "I didn't kidnap you."

Kagome gives him one hell of a scary look, but Koga is, well, Koga, and this is Kagome. He's not entirely certain of why she is so angry. Still, he'll try his best to calm her. He'll always try his best to make her happy.

"Kagome…" He says softly as he walks towards her, ignoring the glare sent his way, "Kagome," He says, and he can feel her sharp intake of breath as he surrounds her with his arms. "Kagome, calm down." He says into her ear. She's gone completely still, but that is nothing to Koga.

This time, no that there is no Inuyasha between them, she will be his, and he will be hers. Just like it should have always been. Just like it almost was on those two months back at her time.

Koga closes his eyes as he breathes Kagome's scent. He remembers the feel of her body against him, and the way she would laugh and bring him closer to her. Their hands always entwined perfectly, and nothing was ever as easy.

"Kagome." He says again, and for one single moment, he feels her almost relaxing against him.

Koga hopes.

But Kagome removes herself from him in the next second. They stare at each other, but Koga can't read what is in her eyes.

"Koga…"

And Koga knows, like he always knows, that Kagome is once more going to walk away from him. Only this time, he won't allow it. He did it once, when they came back from Kagome's time and Koga let her go back to Inuyasha. There is only them now, though. Only Koga and Kagome, and he won't, he can't…He promised himself, if he ever got another chance like this, if he was ever allowed to be with Kagome again, regardless of everything, he would take it.

Because losing her twice almost killed him, but losing her a third time…he would not survive a third time. Especially now knowing that there is just them.

It's never been just them.

"Don't." He lays a finger gently on her mouth, shutting her up. "I know what you are going to say. You've said it to me once to many times."

Every time she looked Inuyasha's way instead of Koga's. When she forgot all they had and went after all she never had. After he smelled her blood all over the place where she fought Naraku and had thought she was dead…

Kagome whispers, "Koga", and buries her head in his shoulder. It almost feels like an apology, and Kouga doesn't understand why.

'_She has changed._' He thinks, hugging her closer to him. _'But so have I.'_

"No, Kagome. It doesn't matter. We've both been through horrible things in the past, but that is behind us, and there's nothing else to put us apart anymore."

"Koga, you don't understand…"

Koga hugs her closer when he feels her trying to escape his grip. "Just let me make you happy. I know I can."

"Oh, Koga…" And his name sounds like a lament in her lips. "Ko…"

Something shifts in the air. Something dangerous.

Koga tries to put Kagome behind him at the same time his youkai are coming his direction. The air feels wrong. Something powerful, a youkai, is coming his way, and not only that, are those…but why would miko come here? They don't feel as close as the youkai, but…

How the hell did they track him down? He turns to look at Kagome, to tell her to run, but Kagome's expre ssion is not worried at all. In fact…

Is she smiling?

Right now?

When they're about to be attacked?

Before he can stop her, before he can even process what's happening, Kagome is running past him, into the danger, and Koga is paralyzed where he is, can barely find the strength to look at Kagome's running figure.

He already knows he won't be fast enough to save her.

'_Not again, not again, __I can't lose her again…'_

A figure, a youkai he thought was gone, materializes in front of him, all power and strength and legend, and it's not possible. Can't be possible. Why does _he _appear until now, after almost two years?

Kagome runs directly towards him, Koga opens his mouth to stop her. It is _him_, who disappeared, who tried to kill her, who was as much her ally as her enemy, and… Kagome runs straight into his amrs, her own arms going around his neck, hugging him close to her, and to his utter shock, Sesshoumaru wraps one arm around Kagome's waist and brings her closer. As if it was natural. As if he had done it a thousand times.

As if Kagome belonged to _him_.

"Sesshoumaru," Koga hears Kagome whisper against Sesshoumaru's neck.

"Why didn't you stay by the river?" Sesshoumaru asks her, reproachful and yet soft, and Koga has a hard time believing the words, or the tone. It is not Sesshoumaru. The proud youkai would never talk like this to anyone, least Kagome. Koga waits for the spell to end, for this delusion to break.

Kagome laughs and presses closer against Sesshoumaru. "How did you find me?"

Kagome sounds _relieved_, and Koga can't comprehend this either because Kagome is not supposed to feel ease because Sesshoumaru is here. She should be…scared and seeking protection _from_ him.

Sesshoumaru's intense golden eyes fix on him. Koga suddenly doesn't feel like a predator, but rather like prey. It is not a nice feeling.

"I smelled a wolf." The silver haired youkai says simply.

Kagome keeps smiling at golden eyes, and the feeling that starts to grow in his gut is entirely too familiar.

* * *

Sometime later, after Koga manages to make his youkai back down, and possibly save them from a fast death, he sits in front of Sesshoumaru and Kagome in his tent.

The wolf youkai is still waiting for the image to break, for Kagome to suddenly snap back into reality and scream and come to his side, away from the danger that Sesshoumaru is to...anything that breaths. He is still waiting for Sesshoumaru to push Kagome away from him in repulse. None of this seems to be happening, to Koga's utter annoyance.

"Kagome." Sesshoumaru's voice says, low and soft, almost careful with the name and Koga is still left in that horrible place that is uncertainty.

Since when did Sesshoumaru do _soft_?

"Yeah?" Kagome looks up from her tea with a small smile on her face. In the past five minutes, Kagome has smiled much more than on the whole time since he rescued her.

The two are sitting too close to comfort. Kagome occasionally grabs something to eat from Sesshoumaru's plate. The youkai doesn't even bat an eye.

_The most powerful youkai, and possibly the one that hates humans the more, is letting one of them take food from his plate_. _More than that, he is making it seem…normal_.

Koga can't help the feeling of doom that courses all over him.

"Could you go… look for the mikos? I'm afraid I left them…behind."

Kagome sends him a brief look of reproach. "A few as in…close?"

"A few as in…kilometers."

"Sesshoumaru!"

Koga swears he can see the tiniest of smiles on Sesshoumaru's lips, which is impossible. Sesshoumaru's facial muscles don't allow him to smile.

"I do not like their leader."

Kagome sighs. "Well, Mali is, uh, perhaps such a long time alive has left her, you know…"

"Please go bring them here."

"Hey!" Kagome suddenly yells, and this, at least, is familiar. Though it was usually Inuyasha who was at the receiving end of her lashing out. "You can't order me around, you know?"

But she is already at the tent's door. "Ugh, you two", a glare sent to both youkai "behave while I'm gone."

Sesshoumaru decides to ignore that last sentence. Instead, he says "Be careful."

Kagome nods.

Koga is in an alternate universe. That is the only explanation.

Koga looks at Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru looks at Koga.

The air between them begs for a knife to cut between it, but the task would probably require something stronger.

"Why," Sesshoumaru starts, words precise and cold, expression blank and yet…Koga can feel the fury in that golden gaze. "Would you think that taking Kagome away and here be a smart move?"

Koga snaps. "What the hell? I found her, and she fainted. What was I supposed to do? Leave her by the river? Anyway, since when do you care? Kagome is free to go wherever she wants, and I can do whatever I please." Koga is, he reminds himself, the leader of the largest group of youkai rebels. He is a nuisance to Naraku, which pretty much defines power now a day, and most importantly, he is stronger than he was two years ago. Much stronger. He is _not_ intimidated by Sesshoumaru.

"Kagome is mine."

Koga gapes at that answer, at a lost for a complete minute, and then recovers. "Really? Because I remember clearly that the two of you did not get along, and if Kagome ever belonged to someone, it was Inuyasha."

Sesshoumaru snarls, Koga growls, and the moment remains terse until they both calm down.

It is, they think at the same time, true. Kagome was, is, will always be, Inuyasha's. Didn't Sesshoumaru see it, when he saw the pain in Kagome's eyes when she attacked the hanyou? From the haunted look she got in her eyes when his half-brother was mentioned? Didn't Koga know, from years and years and years of experience? From all the times he was put second? All the times he was not enough for Kagome?

"I thought she was dead." Koga finally says. This, at least, is a save point.

"Yes." Sesshoumaru says simply. Koga's anger returns.

"Would you care to explain?"

"No."

"Arrggg!"

Koga is about to launch himself at Sesshoumaru, but catches himself at the last nanosecond. He may be strong, he may be a leader now, but this is Sesshoumaru. He has a whole clan to look after, and if this war has taught him anything, if_ Kagome_ has taught him anything, it is patience. Sesshoumaru is starting to look bored, which is the only expression he lets show. "She is…Kagome is…" Koga swallows his pride. He has to know.

Because his mind has been thinking about this ever since he saw Kagome run to Sesshoumaru, and even more surprisingly, when Sesshoumaru returned the affection. He has a feeling that Sesshoumaru did not disappear, he simply was with Kagome, and the mere though makes Koga want to throw up.

This can't be happening. Not again. Definitely not with Sesshoumaru.

_Kagome smiles at him, accepts his hand, and does not look for __golden eyes. Koga takes what he can, for he fears that as soon as she sees Inuyasha again, she'll go running to him_.

Koga looks into Sesshoumaru's eyes, but he doesn't really see the youkai, because he is seeing Kagome in his arms, safe and happy, as if that was exactly where she belonged.

_She presses her body against him, gives butterfly kisses to his jaw, and Koga moans, wants more, so he presses her even closer, and for once, Kagome whispers his name and sees _him_._

Koga thinks of Kagome by the river, small and fragile, but still standing. He thinks of the smell of her blood all over the earth. Sees the strength, the rawness, of this new Kagome, stronger, more confident, not so naïve…

_Kagome laughs with Shippo and offers him candy. Koga watches them from the distance, and wonders how she can be so innocent and carefree when death awaits her at every corner_. _She's just like a child._

And Koga looks into the Sesshoumaru in front of her, the Sesshoumaru that is unfamiliar territory, just like Kagome, and has to ask.

"Was she dead?"

"Yes."

"You brought her back?"

"Yes."

"And you've been with her ever since?"

"Yes."

"The whole two years?"

"Yes."

Koga analyzes Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru analyzes Koga.

It hits Koga like a bucket of ice.

"You…" Koga has trouble finishing this sentence. It would have never occurred to him that this could actually happen. But it was there, wasn't it? In Sesshoumaru's acts, in the way he talked to Kagome, and the way he saw her.

Koga had known Sesshoumaru before he knew Inuyasha. Once, long, long ago, when both of them were young, he had even been…friends with the youkai. It meant nothing now, but Koga could still read Sesshoumaru to some extent. And if there was one thing he was certain of, is that Sesshoumaru, not even with that little girl he had taken under his wing, had looked at anyone the way he looked at Kagome. There was no glacial expression, no blankness in that look.

It was warmth, and Sesshoumaru was not warm. Ever.

"You care for her." It sounded so… odd. So unlike Sesshoumaru. Koga didn't completely believe it, but with Sesshoumaru, there could not be any maybe. Not when it came to feelings. The youkai didn't have them, and if he did, they were unquestionable.

Sesshoumaru did not love. It was not in his nature.

And Koga would not lose, not to_ him_ of all people. He had waited, had loved Kagome from a distance and close by, had always been there. A part of him had _died_ when she died. If anyone was good for Kagome, could give it all up and give her everything, it was him. Not some stupid youkai with a God complex.

Sesshoumaru's voice was dangerously low when he answered back. "I…" Sesshoumaru stopped for a moment. Knowing he cared for Kagome was one thing. In the interior of himself, it was acceptable to care for her. He could live with that. Voicing it aloud was a completely different matter. He could still run from this. Deny it. Pretend it didn't exist, and maybe then, it would go away.

Except Sesshoumaru doesn't want it to go away. Kagome is like an extra limb to him now, and while he is able to live without a limb, he rather finds he prefers not to. He wants to kill Naraku, for Rin and Jaken and the offense the hanyou gave him. Sesshoumaru wants to see him burn, but more than for the revenge that lives inside him, raw and powerful and still fresh, for Kagome. He does not wish to see Kagome fight to survive, even if she has become very good at it.

Sesshoumaru wants to build an easier world for her, and to deny her…

He is not a coward, and he will not run from something that lives inside him, spills from his every pore for the outside world to see, for Koga to catch on so fast. Denying her, he reflects, is cowardly, and he won't accept this.

"I care." He says simply.

Koga narrow his eyes. "I love her."

Sesshoumaru glares at Koga.

Koga glares at Sesshoumaru.

"You can't make her happy."

"I already am".

"She is not for you."

Sesshoumaru merely raises an eyebrow. Koga stares at the expression something familiar on it. He's seen it on someone else…

"She still loves Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru suddenly says, and Koga can hear the pain in it, not because it's obvious, but because Koga is too familiar with it. After all, he's felt it for what feels like forever.

"She can't love a puppet."

"But she can love Inuyasha."

And Koga, once more, remembers Kagome slipping her hand from his as they finally managed to make it back to Feudal. Remembers looking at her looking at Inuyasha. Still feels all his hopes crash with just one look from the hanyou.

"Yes, she can." Koga, though, is nothing but stubborn. "I will fight for her."

"She is mine." The bastard says.

Koga is about to say something nasty when someone enters his tent. Two angry youkai turn their attention to the interruption. The poor youkai pales a considerable amount and looks like he would rather go turn himself over to Naraku.

"What?" Koga barks and the youkai has to try several times before getting the words out. It has to be bad news. Messengers always forget to talk when it's bad news.

"It's, it's…"

"What?"

"He's…he's back."

Koga has no time for riddles. "Who?"

"Shi…Shippo, sir."

Koga feels the world freeze. In front of him, Sesshoumaru merely raises an eye-brow at him before standing up and leaving the tent.

It takes Koga some seconds to follow after.

* * *

Kagome is not even a hundred meters from the youkai camp when everything goes to hell. Again.

In the far away future, when all this is but the past, she's still not going to think this is funny. In fact, even if she was to go back home, and this past was centuries away, it would still not be funny,

Ever.

"What is the meaning of this?" Kagome manages to spat out. This is not possible. It's not happening. Bloody can't happen, and she needs, she needs to sit down, to close her eyes, to fucking…

She needs Sesshoumaru. Where the hell is that bastard?

Emerald eyes stare at her with equal surprise, widened in what could be comical, but this lasts a second, before those emerald eyes blink. When they open again, all the emotions are masked. Besides him, another familiar face stares at him, brown eyes fixed on her while his left hand holds tight on the fox's shoulder, as if ready to stop him at any millisecond of movement.

Kagome takes one breath, opens her mouth, tries to speak again…

Nothing comes out.

She closes her eyes, tries to concentrate, tries to not care, but that is, that is…

"…how?" The word finally escapes from her mouth, and it sounds so weak and pitiful that she wishes to take it back.

Shippo is not answering, and neither is Kohaku, and she wonders if maybe she is hallucinating them. That would make more sense. The three of them stare at each other. Kagome feels a lump in her throat, acid in her stomach, her lungs are not taking enough air, and she thinks she is about to faint…

"We should take this somewhere more private." Sesshoumaru's voice washes over her, fills her with calm, but this, this..."Now." Sesshoumaru's voice says, and she feels herself been dragged towards a tent. She can sense Shippo and Kohaku following, and Koga is somewhere in the background…

Sesshoumaru's hand keeps her grounded, but Kagome knows it's just a matter of time before shock passes and she once more despairs.

* * *

**That is all for now! Sorry I'm not leaving long notes of thanks like I usually do, but I'm in a hurry. I just thought it was only fair to update this, even if it was fast. Love you all for keeping with me!**


	26. Should Have Let Me Die

**First of all, two news. One good, one bad.**

**Good one: Another chapter, yay!**

**Bad one: I always use to editors for my stories. The editor I have right now (Colette, I adore you and would be in a hole without you) is doing an amazing job, but I have always worked with two editors because...I have no idea. I guess since english is my second language, two editors seemed good. So, to the point. My second editor has not been answering, and I hate to post things without them being double checked, so...anyone interested in editing this story? If you are, please send a message to this page, or leave it in a review. It would truly be apreciated.**

**Now, thanks...**

**To my brilliant editor Colette. You are the best.**

**shyla pope: Note taken. Chapter updated :)**

**Angel of Blood: I hope everything is explained here.**

**Kagome'slove: I never do anything easy, so…I think we should expect some difficulties for, eh…everyone.**

**The Siletn AssassinHB: I know. Everyone is alive. The worst? I actually had it planned from the beginning. I already knew who was going to be 'dead dead' and who wasn't.**

**Kitty132383: I did? No! Ag, it's supposed to be writted in present tense. Now I'll have to check everything, but thank you for telling me!**

**Kitty-gurl1 – How did you know Shippo was alive? Hahahaha, and…you guessed right.**

**MarronAngel of Darkness – I know. I should really start keeping them dead.**

**Alesitasuricata – entiendo perfectamente lo de esperar. Yo también trato de no leer nada incompleto, y lo siento mucho! Me he tardado horrores! Debo de culpar a mi vida en Suiza, pero la verdad es que ya debería de ponerme las pilas. Especialmente porque son los últimos capítulos, asi que tratare! Y gracias por seguir mis historias desde Twisted Hearts!**

**Zero-serenity – If there is someone that has followed all my storied from the beginning, it is you. I think you've read all of them. So thank you. And yes, Shippo is alive, and Kohaku, but…no amnesia. Not that I didn't think of it, it's just that I already have it way too complicated, ooops.**

**Trelweny Rosephoenixwolf – I know. I am horrible to Kouga since my last story. I actually have serious thought of giving him a sty where he is actually happy, just because I have been so cruel to him, but I have to finish this story, the Kykio/Inuyasha one-shot of Twisted Hearts…but I swear, after how I treat him, he deserves it.**

**Uncoloured – A great boost to update, your review.**

**4get me not – I will burn in hell for how long I left you waiting. I know.**

**AllySan –Espero no decepcionarte con este capitulo. Tu mnsaje en gran parte hizo que me pusiera las pilas y escribiera. Muchisimas gracias.**

**XxBlEeDiNg BlAcK rOsEsXx – Eh, I'm actually glad you didn't find me. Don't hunt me after this one?**

**Cindygemini – Wow, to be not your favorite fanfic author but author…it is truly an honor. I thank you. I'm not sure if I will ever write an original book myself. I have been thinking about it for years, but somehow I never get around to it, but wouldn't it be wonderful? That you think I could actually make it is also amazing.**

* * *

**Fragments of a Shattered Dream**

_**Should Have Let Me Die**_

_And O my love, I still recall  
The pleasures that we knew;  
The rivers and the waterfall,  
Wherein I bathed with you.  
Bewildered by your beauty there,  
I'd kneel to dry your feet._

_It is in love that we are made;  
In love we disappear._

_-Boogie Street by Leonard Cohen_

* * *

Inuyasha knows that something is terribly wrong with him. If he could muster the emotion, he would be frightfully scared.

_Blue eyes stare at him with love. He wants to show her just how much he does love her, wants to hold her tight against him, and make her fell needed, let her know she is loved, but he doesn't. He turns his eyes to Kikyo and pretends it is __she that is in his heart._

The ex-hanyou should only feel hate and pleasure when hurting others while obeying Naraku's orders. It's what he was created for. It is the only reason why he was brought back to life. His whole thoughts should revolve around his master's orders and wishes.

_Kagome looks at him with revulsion as he __strikes her once more. Something inside of him is disgusted by his actions, begs him to stop. Inuyasha shuts them up. But the whispers follow his every beat. Her pain is not enjoyable. _

It's not like he doesn't remember what he felt before. He does. The memories of his past are crystal clear. It's just that when he opened his red eyes, the past did not matter anymore. What he felt before no longer existed. Naraku as his enemy and Kagome his love.

That was the past.

In the present, it is Naraku that matters, and Kagome a mere inconvenience.

Ever since he saw Kagome, watched her defend herself to purify him...His hand goes to his reformed hand, and it's so difficult to believe _she_ did this to _him_. That she did it for Sesshoumaru. His brain, his body, everything in him wants to refuse Naraku's orders. If he did not do it at the clearing, it was just because everything happened to fast. By the time he finally realized he did not wish to hurt her, he already had.

He would kill the entire world, make it scream and bleed…hell, he would disobey Naraku if he could just have her.

"Damn it!" He yells, as his hand goes through at wall. The feeling of blood slipping down his hand comforts him. This, he knows. Pain, blood…all that is familiar. Safe.

"Careful, Inuyasha." Sango is standing behind the hanyou. Inuyasha hates her new ability to creep on him. "One might think…" Her face turns into mock worry. "That you actually care for Kagome". Her voice sounds like honey and is filled with poison. Once more, a part of Inuyasha reacts against it, tells him that this is not how Sango would ever be.

Inuyasha freezes. Sango smiles.

"Don't think I haven't noticed the way you've been acting since our encounter with sweet Kagome." Her smile widens and red eyes twinkle. She comes closer to him, and Inuyasha wants to lash out, to rip her apart, to…He wants to keep her away from Kagome, to _protect_ Kagome from Sango…

Fuck.

"Sango," he says, stepping closer to her, close enough for her to feel his breath on her face. His claws run against her skin, with just a little more pressure he would be able to draw blood. Sango doesn't even bat an eye. After being transformed, it was Sango that became the cruelest, coldest, and boldest. Inuyasha has a theory that it is because she cared the most that she now cares the least.

His thoughts are a mess, the love he felt in another life haunts him in this one, and for the first time since he became a puppet, nothing is clear. Kagome dances in front of him, at every thought, in every breath, and try as he might, he can't get her to stop. He can't make himself indifferent. But he can pretend. Naraku must not know of this.

"Don't be absurd." His voice is scornful, daring, and he pushes all his confusion aside and thinks of blood, of pain, of all the people he has made suffer. "I just want to play with the girl before destroying her." Inuyasha lets a smirk fall into his lips. "Besides, from what I saw, hurting her will hurt my _brother,_ and there is nothing I would enjoy more." Every word is spoken with malice. The ex-hanyou hopes it is enough to convince her, at least for now.

It works, and Sango backs away.

"Good, Inuyasha. I wouldn't like to slay a good killing partner." She retreats, and before leaving she locks eyes on him. "Though the challenge would be fun."

Inuyasha experiences another feeling he had forgotten.

Despair.

One side of him pulls to do Naraku's orders, and the other one yearns to protect Kagome. He is not sure which one he would prefer.

* * *

"But…how?"

Kagome is speechless. She can't understand, doesn't want to believe her eyes, and is afraid of the truth. Only Sesshoumaru's reassurance that she is, indeed, seeing Shippo and Kohaku in front of her, makes her believe it.

Green eyes under ginger bangs stare at her.

Kagome feels a lump at her throat. Any minute now, she is sure she'll faint. Through all her hazy feelings, the only one that is clear is that she is glad Sesshoumaru is at her side. He'll catch her if she falls. Kagome tries to speak again, but words fail her, and the two children do not speak either.

She watches them instead.

The truth is, they are no longer children. Both of them are bigger and stronger than last time she saw them, two years ago. Their eyes hold the aging only war and deep suffering can bring, the despair you can only gain after deep sorrow. Trapped in the bodies of children, but not at all innocent. She knows them no more, and they do not know her. They might as well be strangers.

And yet…it hurts, to see the boy she took under her wing so distant to her, so foreign…

If she had fought longer, could she have found him? Could he have been by her side all along? If when she had woken up and decided to fight instead of sink into depression, would things have been different? Would it have mattered at all?

Koga clears his throat. "I found them…"

"I saw you die." Kagome cuts him off, finally having found her voice. "You…" She turns stern eyes to Kohaku. "We were fighting with _him_, and you fell over the cliff, and I didn't only see you die. I _felt_ you die." It's almost accusing, like she'd rather have them dead than alive and kicking.

"No," Kohaku says, and Kami, Kagome can't help but remember his sister. The woman she herself considered a sister, now an enemy, all red eyes and viciousness. Didn't she tell Sango that the next time she saw her, she would kill her? Didn't she mean it?

A small part of her really does wish they stayed dead. Wishes that all her tears had meant something, that she had actually mourned dead people, instead of…

All this time, Shippo was alive. Alive, in control of himself, and not Naraku's puppet. Koga would never protect one of Naraku's puppets.

Are any of her deceased friends actually, in the true sense of the word, dead?

A giggle threatens to come out, which pretty much means she's going into hysterics. Kagome can feel herself slipping from sanity, the earth under her feet moving, her whole world shaking…

Sesshoumaru puts a hand on her shoulder, forcing her with the simple act to come back to him, and Kagome closes her eyes and allows him to engulf her and keep her grounded.

Unnoticed to her, Koga and Shippo's eyes narrow.

"You saw me take Shippo away and pretend to kill him." Kohaku explains,

And Shippo, who she brought candy to and told stories to get him into bed, Shippo, with a scar that goes from his right cheek all the way to the neck, Shippo, who she loved almost like a son, finally speaks. "It's true."

At least he doesn't say much.

His voice has not changed so much. She finds herself still familiar with it. It's like an old scar being open and pouring lemon juice into it.

"It was so Naraku wouldn't suspect." Koga says. "I hid them after I found out. Kohaku knew of Naraku's plan, so he did what he could to delay him. It worked. We have time because of this." Kagome forces herself to tear her eyes from Shippo, lands them on Kohaku, and decides Koga is the less painful one to look at. "If Naraku thought Kohaku was dead, he would look for the shard everywhere but where it really is."

"I thought it was removed from you."

"It was put back in me, when…when Naraku captured me again."

Poor, poor Kohaku, twice under Naraku's arms, and once more with the last shard.

Funny, she had almost forgotten about looking for the last shard. Sure, Sesshoumaru and she had been walking on the direction where the shard was, but somehow it had passed as a second thought. Now, with the last piece of the Shikkon No Tama in front of her, Kagome felt immense guilt at almost forgetting her responsibilities. She was the Shikkon No Tama miko, and it was her job to get rid of it once and for all. Did Sesshoumaru, all the time they had been traveling together, also forget? Probably not. Surely, he has been thinking about Naraku, his revenge, Rin, and all the things he lost. He most probably is annoyed with her. There she is, this miko, this human, he protected, trained, _brought back to life_, and what does she do?

Nothing.

Forgets all responsibilities.

Desperately makes herself not think about the family she once had.

Tries to live as if the Shikkon No Tama did not exist.

It's a wonder that Sesshoumaru hasn't killed her.

"Your sister is alive and with Naraku." Her eyes finally lock on Kohaku. The boy's eyes are as hard as steal, but they were hard even before she came into the picture. "She's the enemy."

"Yes." In a way, Kohaku is older than her.

"I promised to kill her next time."

Kohaku gives her a bitter smile. "No." Kagome can almost see all the misery of the world in those eyes. "I will."

"You'll die when we take the shard out." And this time, there will not be a second chance. He'll stay dead. Once, she would have screamed, kicked, and absolutely refused the idea. Nothing in the world would have made her do it, and she would have fought with teeth and nails until she found another way.

Except there is no other way.

Kagome can't be the silly girl she was with Inuyasha. She has killed and fought, and would do it over again. She'd destroy Inuyasha and Sango over and over again if it meant Sesshoumaru could get his revenge, and in some way, be happy.

Kohaku slowly grins. "I know. I'll take my sister down, bring her peace, and after that, you'll take the shard away." His brown eyes soften. "Frankly, with the life I've had, I'd rather it be over. Now, if you excuse me, I heard something about some miko being lost somewhere, so Koga and I will go fetch them."

"Tell Mali to not be a pain in the ass and to come without trying to purify half your army, Koga."

Koga grins at her, though it is short and gone as soon as he passes next to Sesshoumaru. One more problem she'll have to deal with. She really, really wishes Koga did not still love her. Isn't it enough all she has put him through? He should not love her because of her horrible choices in love.

Kagome stands with Shippo in front of her and Sesshoumaru behind her. He, too, turns to leave, but Kagome takes his hand. Squeezes as hard as she can, and hopes the meaning goes without words. Sesshoumaru stays cold and almost untouchable, and Kagome squeezes harder.

* * *

'_This is the woman you love.'_ Sesshoumaru thinks, torn between his knowledge that she does not love him, and the need to be there for her. The whole world can burn, for all he cares, so long as she is not in it. _'She needs you now.'_

His father once said they could not help but give all they were when they chose someone worthy of their affections. They were selective, but once they found someone …

It was in his nature, after all.

"I'll be outside. Call when you need me."

It's stupid to deny what is real, what everyone but Kagome can see. To fight it goes against his instincts. It is even more idiotic to try to hide it when Koga is around ready to steal her away at the first chance. He has chosen. There is nothing to be done. It is sealed.

Sesshoumaru loves her. Despite himself, his nature, his being, he loves her.

And Kagome loves Inuyasha.

* * *

Inside the tent, Kagome stares at Shippo.

Kagome keeps staring a Shippo, who tries not to shift under her penetrating gaze.

As far as Shippo's memory goes, she never quite knew how to make people shift with just one look. Obviously, she has changed as much as he has.

Shippo traces his scar subconsciously. It's a habit he picked since he woke up to find everything changed. It makes him remember exactly why he can't jump into her arms and demand candy. He already did a mistake similar to that, didn't he? The first time he saw Inuyasha and ran towards him, only to realize too late that the eyes were all wrong. Ah, yes, another scar decorates his abdomen. It is a fine reminder of that fatal mistake. Only Koga's quick thinking got him out of that one.

But looking at Kagome…

It is obvious she is not with Naraku. Especially because Sesshoumaru is next to her, and by what he has seen, he would do whatever Kagome wanted, so if she wanted them dead…

Well, they all would be dead by now.

But Kagome…

Her eyes are harder, much harder, than before. They look at him not with the affection she used to have reserved only for him, but with the careful eyes of someone used to not trusting anything breathing. Or not breathing. Her body is different, too. When before it was soft, now he can see muscles in her arms and legs. She has a fighters body, still feminine, but very capable of giving one hell of a fight. Everything in her is familiar and foreign. All in him wants to jump at her, to be hugged by her, to pretend, just for one moment, that he is still the boy she used to protect like a child.

The fox demon stares at Kagome just as much as she does.

He thought he had lost her, and after seeing Sango and Inuyasha again…he had squashed every single hope left he had for Kagome. If he saw her again, it would probably not be in friendly terms. Yet here she is, safe, if not scarred; different, but familiar. He is almost hoping she'll pull out a candy out of somewhere and give it to him with a big smile.

Not even a slight grin is forming on her face.

Shippo feels a pang form inside of him. "I…" He starts, no longer able to stand the silence. He wants so much to touch her and make sure she won't disappear, but he has a feeling she would not welcome it.

'_She welcomed Sesshoumaru's touch.'_ His mind provides. The youkai's hand on hers was enough to calm her down.

Why?

"It seems people I thought were dead keep reappearing." She finally says, as she moves to take a sit. Shippo notices it is far away enough that they won't even touch by accident. It hurts, and he thought he was over the hurting, but sometimes he thinks it just will never stop.

"I could say the same thing." The fox says before sitting down himself.

"Inuyasha and Sango?" She doesn't hesitate, not even blinks as she says their names. It is matter of fact, and Shippo's knot in the throat starts to grow.

"Yes."

"Do you…" Finally, Kagome struggles, but she puts herself back together. "Do you know about Miroku?"

Shippo shakes his head no. Miroku, hopefully, is dead or hiding. He hopes, for the monk's good, that he is dead. Seeing what Sango has become would devastate him. Of all of them, perhaps it is Miroku who would not be able to stand it. Once, he would have thought it'd be Kagome, but that is obviously not true. It would have been Miroku, who was gentler at heart than all of them.

"I think he is dead," Shippo replies. He can't really be sure. He's been wrong thrice already.

"I think so, too." Kagome says. "How…how have you been?"

Shippo sighs. "I've been. It was hard. I woke up, and everything was…"

"Changed. Gone. Destroyed." Kagome says, finally scooting closer to him.

"My whole life was whipped away, all of you were dead in my mind, I had no one…" Shippo closes his eyes for a second, remembers waking up, with Kohaku at his side and the feeling that everything he was and all he knew was forever lost. But Koga had patched him together, had helped him get over the loss, even when he himself had just wanted to die. The wolf had trained him, made him stronger, until eventually it was a ghost pain. Still, seeing Inuyasha and Sango, what they had become…he hadn't been able to lift a hand to defend himself. Not against them. Never against them. "Koga took me under his wing, he patched me, made me what I am…"

"And what are you, Shippo?" Her voice is soft, almost carefree, the question anything but.

Shippo looks at the side of the tent before answering. What is he now? Before, he was Kagome's little kid, Inuyasha's younger brother, Sango and Miroku's little devil. He was the child in an odd family, to be taken care of and loved.

He was theirs.

"I am Koga's." It is the sum of everything, after all. The simplest explanation. "What are you?" He is pleased his voice is almost as carefree as hers.

Kagome lets a smile form on her lips. Yes, she can see that. The space Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, and herself once had in Shippo's life is now Koga's. A little bit Kohaku's, though she can tell he is keeping his distance from the boy. Probably because he is going to die.

But yes, Shippo is Koga's man, and Kagome?

"I am a miko." Because really, she has to start remembering that she is Kagome Higurashi, Shikko No Tama miko, and when it comes down to it, this whole thing is her responsibility, and that, over everything else she is, _has_ to come first. "And I am Sesshoumaru's." Which is the truest thing she has ever said.

If Shippo is defined by Koga, then Kagome is defined by Sesshoumaru.

Cold, marvelous, arrogant, beautiful, Sesshoumaru.

Shippo starts at her, and Kagome watches with interest as his face changes from red to purple to greenish.

"Sesshoumaru's…" Shippo tried to think of Kagome as anything but an acquaintance to Sesshoumaru. They never, it was never...

It was always Inuyasha. Kagome didn't even speak to the youkai. How did this happen? Shippo decides anger is the best way to deal with this.

"No!" He shouts, and to his surprise, Kagome actually jumps.

"Excuse me?"

"I said no. You can't be. I won't let it!" Shippo shouts. This is wrong. Sesshoumaru should not mean anything to Kagome. It is wrong in every way. Even if Inuyasha is out of the picture, replacing him with his half-brother is out of question.

"You won't allow it?" Kagome says, stern and dangerous, but not shouting back. "You are no one, no one, Shippo, to tell me what I am or aren't allowed to do." She is outraged. How dare he tell her what to do? The nerve!

"He is manipulating you! What if all he wants is the pearl? He is using you to get it!"

The words hit home. This has had her same worried. They have been haunting her since they became almost friends, then friends, now this…whatever they are…They haven't talked about this since…months. The pearl has not been a topic of conversation for a long time.

Suddenly, Kagome realizes she couldn't care less.

"It doesn't matter." She finally says. "For the pearl, for me, for whatever." She takes a deep breath. "The truth is…" She tells Shippo, knowing he won't understand. "I chose to be with him. This was all my doing." She trained with him, and she followed him, and she…

Inuyasha's arm was purified by her own hand. Try as she might, she can't find remorse in her actions. Inuyasha's Kagome is gone. Dead the very same day he died. The Kagome that acted like a mother to Shippo, a sister to Sango, and a friend to Miroku, has vanished. She also died, after all, and this Kagome, what she is now, was born after Sesshoumaru brought her back.

This is how she ends.

"Kagome, Sesshoumaru…"

And she can't afford to love and protect Shippo the way she used to. It would mean going back to the past, and there is no Sesshoumaru in her past. He only exists in her present and future. Shippo exits in her past and the edges of her present. But she can't afford to love this young youkai that has aged as much as she has.

"Sesshoumaru kept me alive, Shippo. Kami, he brought me back to life. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him. Most importantly, I trust him, and I…" Love, love, love, and it's wrong, wrong, wrong, but…

Well, it was inevitable, wasn't it? That she fell in love with him? From the moment he tried to kill Inuyasha and she stood in his way, to the moment she opened her eyes to find him…

She likes to believe that this is how it was meant to be. She hopes against all odds that she was always meant for Sesshoumaru, that Inuyasha was just to prepare her for it. She wants this to be right because she doesn't love Inuyasha anymore, not the way she used to. Not even if he had come back the way he was before. She needs this to be right because she doesn't love the ex-hanyou_,_ but she is still haunted by him…

Shippo growls. "It's _Sesshoumaru_."

Kagome looks into Shippo's green eyes, finds traces of the boy she knew, and her heart aches. "I know. Trust me, I know."

And who the bloody hell is she kidding?

He will always be Shippo, and it might kill her all over again to love him, but he is family. If she's doing this for her family in the future, she might as well do it to for her family in the past. He is all that is left of what she once was.

Kagome closes the distance between them and pulls Shippo into her arms. There's no comfort she can give him. The words he wants are a lie. So, instead, she holds him silently and prays that it's enough.

* * *

Naraku can feel the world shifting once more. In the air, he can feel rebellion rise. Apparently, so can Kagura and Atsuki. They seem unusually quiet.

"You found the miko camp."

"Yes."

"And how many miko were there?"

Kagura hesitates before answering. "None."

"None?"

"They were all gone when we arrived."

"And how many used to be there?"

"At least a thousand, and that is only one camp. We believe they separated under small groups to not be detected. More could be hiding, waiting. They will look for Mali."

"And Mali will most certainly look for the Shikkon No Tama miko, which happens to be Kagome. And with that, they will secure Sesshoumaru on their side, and because it is Kagome, the wolf will also join, and to him the last hanyou and youkai rebels. And we have an army against us."

Naraku sits in his throne. Months of trying to prevent this has gone up in vain. He had been sure he would be able to destroy them all. He had attacked them individually, would have succeeded in time. The miko would never trust the youkai, the humans wouldn't trust the hanyou, at the end they would have ended up destroying themselves. The only thing he would have had to do was stir things, and everything would have fallen in place.

But Kagome had not died, and what was worse, she had Sesshoumaru on her side. By the reports from Sango and Inuyasha, the ties between those two would not be broken easily, if at all. All he had gained was, for the first time since almost completing the peal, at danger.

Stupid miko.

Naraku snarled before grabbing a cup set on a table besides him and throwing it to the two women. "Incompetent. What use is bringing you to life again? What have all those years alive been good for?"

Neither one dared look at him.

"Call back everyone, we must be prepared, we must plan."

Atsuki bowed before turning to leave.

"And bring the puppets. All of them."

Atsuki turned on her heel. "All? I thought there were only Inuyasha and Sango."

"No." Kagura said besides her. "There are thousands."

"But…"

"Witch, you didn't think I would use your powers for just two?"

"But…"

"I will not lose everything." Naraku said, and the fire in his eyes threatened to take the world down with him if necessary.

* * *

Sometimes, she wonders if she can be dead, even if she is still alive. She breathes and she eats and she sleeps and her heart pumps blood while her lungs take in oxygen, and she wonders if she can be dead even with all these things. Sometimes, she wonders if she can still be alive when she feels so fucking numb.

She sighs as she stares at the stars. Sesshoumaru stares at her form.

She doesn't hesitate when she finally speaks because they are way past that. "Do you feel alive?"

He doesn't answer straight away. Kagome never expects him to. He always thinks about what she asks, even if she asks the simplest questions.

"Yes." He finally answers. He cocks his head to the side, and his intense eyes are on her. She can feel herself flush under his gaze. "Don't you?"

"Why?"

He gives her that small smirk and Kagome feels like hitting him very hard. Smug bastard. She just _knows _what he is going to say next. "I asked first."

She should never, ever, have told him that however asks the first question deserves the first answer. He never listens to her, and only uses her magnificent wisdom when convenient.

She swears Sesshoumaru is just something out of this world.

She grunts. "I guess, sometimes…I don't." She closes her eyes for a second, thinking of her past, her present, Sesshoumaru…

Sesshoumaru is always there, always in her mind, her only constant.

"You should have let me die." She whispers, and it hurts, hurts, hurts. Life fucking hurts, and having Sesshoumaru next to her aches.

"Because you love him?"

Kagome feels, yet again, another hysterical laugh threaten to break from her lips.

And war approaches them from all sides.

* * *

**Finally, after what seems like forever, another chapter. And again, anyone interested in being my editor, it would be more than welcomed.**

**Oh, and review!**

**Eternal Fire**


	27. To Those Who Lost

**First of all, yay, new chapter is up.**

**Second: A big applause and cheers to Colette, my editor since Twisted Hearts, who has done an incredible job, and has kept up with my hurrying because I take forever to update. Don't know what I would do withou you.**

**Third: A goodbye to Cari, my other editor. As we all know, sometimes life gets in the way, and for now, she is no longer able to edit this story. However, a big thank you for all the work you did until now!**

**Third: Let's continue hearing the applause! Welcome to Sindiya, my new second editor on this story. She has great ideas, doesn0t mind telling me when I'm rushing this story, and has done, so far, a great job on this chapter. (Also she is responsible for my change of heart at the ending of this chapter, but that is soething I will tell you when the story ends). Anyway, she is now an editor of this story, so all three of us (Colette, Sindiya, and me) are working hard to give you a good quality story.**

**Thanks (to everyone that offered to be an editor, down there is your name. Also, to my favorite reviews, I took the time to answer you!**

**Carmen: Hey, so, although some chapters will be filled with more angst tan others, I like to keep even the tiniest bit of comedy/romance, anything else but angst. At the beginning I clearly didn't, but now it's easier to keep it lighter, so I hope I can continue to keep it balanced! As for Kagome, I don't like her much in the anime, if I must be truthful, but I do like to develop her and make her stronger. I like to play with her character, and make it believable for the character she is in the anime, so it's difficult, but I hope I'm making it!**

**ForeverisGone13: If you are still keeping up with the story, thanks for the support!**

**Stefani Davis: Glad to hear it's one of the best stories you have read!**

**xXthenextbookwormXx- Thanks for the offer to be an editor. Although I finally managed to find one, I still appreciate the offer.**

**MariisCa: You're going to get lots of misunderstandings between Kagome and Sesshoumaru…butif the author is good (hehe), everything will turn out alright…somehow.**

**Kitty-gurl1 – Thanks for the offer to be an editor! I really appreciate it. I have found one, but again, thank you so much for offering. Oh, and I'm curious, what do you think will happen next? You were completely right last time, so I would like to see if you can figure the rest of the plot. And I love hearing opinions of where you think this is going.**

**Zero-serenity – Oh my, you were my first editor! That was like ages ago! And you did a perfect job at it. I understand if you can't do it now. I found a good one, apart from the one I already have (you know I like using two editors), and she did a good job in this chapter, so I have that solved. Having said that…Kagome is, despite all her efforts, still the girl from the future that is still in high school and fell down a well and in love with a sleeping hanyou. I think, even in 100 years, she would still have some of that. If she didn't, then she would be Kikyo, hard and a bit angry at the world. Kagome has the possibility to mature, become strong, and still somehow be innocent. Oh, and loved the two thumbs up two big toes!**

**AllySan – Por algunos cambios de…historia en este capitulo, la historia esta oficialmente alargada…aunque no se cuanto mas, pero sip, todavia queda para un rato mas, aunque voy a tartar de acabarla para Febrero, ates de que vuelva a la Universidad, asi que cruza los dedos, y espero que pueda con mi meta (aunque los proximos meses los tengo tan ocupados que no se como le voy a hacer).**

**AngelofMist- Hehe, I was actually not going to make you wait for Sess/Kag kiss after the battle but now…I have absolutedly no idea when it'll be! It has been changed. Oops. And thanks for offering to be my editor! I found one, but I still appreciate that you like this story enough to offer. Oh, and if you want to leave incredibly long reviews…go ahead, I love them!**

**Wee done – (eh, that's all I have of your name in the review), I can't believe Twisted Hearts was two years ago! Time sure flies! Anyway, I found an editor, but thank you so much for offering, and thanks for sticking to me (and my horrible update times in this story). It means a lot to have such amazing readers.**

**Kagome's love – I must admit…I'm also dying to write Sess and Kagome as a couple, but I must wait for the right time! Ahhh! It's frustrating for both of us.**

**Trelweny Rosephoenixwolf – When I write Kouga/Kagome (which I will because the idea is already stuck in my head, and I can0t get it out), it will probably not be as long as this story, much shorter. Either a one shot or less than ten chapters, but I promise, less angst (cause I want them happy, and I think I've made Koga suffer enough in my last two fanfics to do it to him on his own)- Also, I would like to try something much…softer, as practice because…I haven0t finished this story and I already have ideas for a new one of Sess/Kag! But no. That is in the far away future. For now, let's concentrate on this story! As for all the puppets, no worries there! Really, if I bring more people back to the dead, I will have to change the title to something to do with zombies. They are, however, a lot, and you know how quantity can sometimes be more devastating than quality.**

**Remniscent Shadow – Thanks for offering to be an editor! I found one, but I still appreciate it.**

**Now, go read. You deserve it.**

* * *

**Fragments of A Shattered Dream**

**_To Those Who Lost_**

"_Let's pretend he never risked it. He hoped and he wished it, but in the end it didn't fall in his lap, so he…"_

_- On the Facebook page of a friend of mine_

* * *

Kagome has seen the past. Hell, she is living in the past. She has suffered in the past, she made a living in the past, and right now, she is the past. But she has also seen the future. Damn it, she comes from the future, and she has seen the future, and she knows what is supposed to happen. She also knows that this is not meant to be. She knows the future is out of reach for her and the past is tears. It was obvious that the Feudal Era would throw punch after punch at her.

There is, however, one thing that the past, present, and future agree on: Kagome is not meant to win. And these feelings that she can do nothing about, that are so much a part of her that without them she would not be able to continue existing…she is afraid that they will lead to her downfall.

But she can't help but want, desire, crave…Sesshoumaru.

The beautiful youkai with silver hair and icy gold eyes, who takes her breath every time she lays eyes on him, and makes her have to demand her heart to start again. He is the cold-hearted bastard that held her hand when she encountered, yet again, another one of her not dead friends. Sesshoumaru, the feared youkai who lets her sleep every night with her head on his shoulder.

She loves him.

She thought that she was done with hoping the moment she died in her own pool of blood. When she died, Sesshoumaru's cold eyes had been the last thing she had seen, and everything had ended. Maybe this demon, by bringing her back to life, had something to do with the new hope that rises within her. It whispers to her that everything will be all right.

But how can that be? She should have learned by now.

Her eyes are not on him, because she cannot bear to look at him, "You should have let me die," Kagome tells him with her voice even and her face expressionless.

"Because you love _him_?"

Kagome stares at him from the corner of her eyes. Without her notice, he has moved from her side to sit on a rock. Looking magnificent and deathly, cold and all the things that drive her mad, he looks at her with anger in those incandescent golden eyes.

She gulps.

It has been months since he has directed that look to her, with an anger that could scorch her. Except Sesshoumaru shouldn't care, right? He still has Rin and a whole kingdom to avenge, and when would he have time to care for her? Sure, they are friends, teammates. He has her back in a fight. But for him to care for her, to love her too one day?

Sesshoumaru doesn't do love.

Much less love for her. Hope, though, refuses to acknowledge this, and it creeps into Kagome's heart, numbing her senses, and lets Kagome imagine what life would be like if he loved her. Immediately, she stops, because there is no point of torturing herself with the idea, even if it was the wonderful idea of a world where Sesshoumaru loved her.

For one second, Kagome seriously considers taking her heart out. Of course, if she does indeed take her heart out, she would die, and she is sure that Sesshoumaru would be angry.

He did take the time to bring her back to life, and there is the fact, that she is the only one that can make the pearl disappear. Her options, it seems, are not very good.

"He is not your Inuyasha. I thought that was made clear." His voice, contrary to his eyes, has gone glacier. He doesn't add _'__when __he __tortured __you__'_, yet Kagome can hear it in his voice as if he did.

Kagome shuts her eyes, and she can still hear the echo of Inuyasha's voice, still see his white hair, a mess like always, but it's like a dream. There are no sharp edges and clear figures, but blurry shapes. She can only see clearly how red his eyes were the last time she saw him.

The bloody idiot. She remembers how he turned to her on that faithful day. Smirking as if their lives were not about to change forever.

_Kagome shuts her eyes for a moment, trying to pinpoint exactly why she feels her guts twisting. Her face contorts in concentration, but she can't quite put her finger on it. _

_Something horrible is about to happen, though, and that's all that should really matter._

_His white hair is floating all around him, and she can see him turning to her, smirking as if there is nothing to worry about._

_But she knows he is wrong, and she has to tell him, has to stop him from going because if she doesn't, everything will turn into chaos. _

"_It's just another fight with Naraku," Inuyasha says, voice filled with confidence. That stupid grin is set on his mouth, and Tenseiga is vibrating at his side, ready for a good fight._

Kagome curses him silently because it _was __not_ just another fight with Naraku. He should have known, and she should have stopped him.

Should, should, should.

And she could have, couldn't she? But going against Kikyo had seemed more important. Now, he is a puppet, and she is in love with Sesshoumaru. She has the weirdest feeling that, even if Inuyasha hadn't died, she would have still fallen in love with Sesshoumaru. Because this thing that has grown inside of her slowly but steadily, that she can't escape…this love…

It would have been dead, if she had never had the chance, if she had never known. If things had not gone horribly wrong, she would never have known what she was missing; an unknown dead.

"I know he is not the Inuyasha I knew." She says, her voice edgy from all the feelings storming inside of her.

"But you still love him."

Kagome smiles and turns to look at him. "No." She says, and it's the truest thing she's ever told him. "It's not that. Not because of him."

There is Sango, Shippo, and Miroku. Hopefully, Miroku is still dead. Then there is Kikyo, Kaede, and Kouga. There is her past, in her present, and her future, but most of all, over everyone else, Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru.

She walks towards Sesshoumaru, placing a chilly hand against his cheek despite the warm summer air. His golden eyes look into hers, not chilly like two years ago, but open, and it is this openness that hurts her the most. He cares for her, in his own way. He wouldn't let harm come her way, but…

Well, he is Sesshoumaru, and she is Kagome, and in what world would these two beings fit? She yearns for what was never meant to have.

If she had stayed dead, she would never have wanted him, and maybe she would never have felt this crushing hope that has no place in her life. This hope that burns inside of her and will be squashed once more.

Before Sesshoumaru decides he doesn't like her hand on his cheek, she puts her mouth next to his ear, whispering softly, "It's because…because…you are you, and I am me, so…" She closes her eyes, smells Sesshoumaru, and basks in his closeness.

Kagome opens her eyes as she pulls away. She will not burden him with her unwanted feelings , "We have some planning to do, battles to plan, a war to win. I promised to help you with your revenge, and I know I didn't do a good job with finding the pearl, but I won't fail you again." This, at least, she can give him.

She will see this through, and when he rises as Lord Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands, servants and territory and all included, once she watches him rise one more time, she will leave before he tells her to.

Yes, he should have let her die, but he didn't, and now… Now, she is alive, and she and she loves, loves, loves, him. Her eternal dilemma; to be in love with the wrong guy.

* * *

Sesshoumaru, quite, frankly, doesn't give a damn about battles and wars and what not. The only thing he cares about is Naraku's head in a stake and Kagome, insufferable human that she is, next to him. Under him. Above him. Anywhere as long as it's close to him.

"_It's not that. Not because of him." she had said._

His heart had stuttered, which was much undignified. If he kept Kagome as company, he was in danger of becoming less dignified and more…her. The fact that he could not find much wrong in being more like her, so long as she was in the equation, should really bother him. But it didn't.

He wished Jaken were still around to bring some sense into him. As annoying as he was, he did give some good advice. Not Rin, though. She would probably be all for Kagome. Sesshoumaru closed his eyes at the sudden pain that stabbed his heart. Rin and Jaken. With Kagome by his side, the pain at having lost those two, a whole kingdom, and all the men under his wing lessened. All those months by her side had made everything seem so far away, but it should not have. Kagome had been a ghost for the first months, and still even now, her eyes sometimes clouded with melancholy and the guilt that comes with being a survivor. But by helping heal her, he had healed himself.

He still wanted Naraku dead. He wanted revenge, and he wanted Rin's and Jaken's life to not be meaningless. He just did not care about this world, except Kagome was stuck here, so he could try to make the world better for her…

The youkai looked at his claws, wondering when he had cared for her so much that he wished to change a whole world. He did not want to lead anyone. If only he could finish this alone, without having to work with anyone else, but Kagome.

Sesshoumaru fought to sigh. He did not sigh, especially if things were not going his way.

"_It's because…because…"_

Because she had looked at him with such sadness as her hand cupped his cheek. Had seemed so crestfallen, that Sesshoumaru had wanted to rip out whatever was making her so sad, to kill, and eliminate whatever was putting that look on her face.

"…_you are you, and I am me, so…,"she had whispered._

Sesshoumaru thinks of all this power, all the things he has done and the things he has left to do, and realizes, that in order to eliminate Kagome's distress, he would have to eliminate himself.

To never have existed. Never have been born. To never have met her.

And because he is Sesshoumaru, he cannot will himself to want that. If he had been his father's favorite, had not wanted to kill his half-brother, if he had not listened to Rin as she died, had not decided to help Kagome…

He would not have lived. Not like this. He would not be the great Sesshoumaru.

Even if it causes her distress, and is probably the one only being alive that can make him feel, react…even if she is like a tear on his palm, he won't separate himself from her.

He will not take her, will not make her his, even if all his instinct asks him to do it, urges him to just take her, possess her, make her love him…he will not.

He loves Kagome, so he will once more take his sword and fight. He will even lead this mockery of youkai army, _if_ she asks it of him.

* * *

"So…"

"So…"

Koga shifts a little as Mali's grey eyes look at him. His blue eyes shift slightly to the miko following the two leaders. Between them, there is a youkai, and it's almost funny, how they are all equally nervous and ready to attack. That is probably the only thing they have in common.

Kagome.

Only Kagome could make sworn enemies put aside differences.

"How did you meet Kagome?" asks Mali, finally.

Only Koga would have thought it was a good idea to volunteer to go with a group of miko and with a group of youkai. The easiest thing, of course, would have been to drag Kagome with him. _Then_ things would have gone smooth, but Koga did not have it in him to take her apart from Shippo. After so long, after all they had gone through, they deserved the moment. He should have taken Sesshoumaru, but no one could make Sesshoumaru do what he did not want. Except maybe Kagome and he was not going into that.

But yes, it would have been simpler if one of them had been there. There would have been less shouting, pointing of arrows, youkai about to launch into battle, general confusion, and annihilation of their soon to be allies. Certainly, less time spent trying to get his point across.

"Now you want to talk?" Koga scowled.

Mali gives him a pointed look. Grey eyes sharp and intimidating, daring him to say more.

Bloody mikos, why do they always have to be giving demons looks.

"I met her before all this." Koga finally settles for, trying to keep his voice cool and indifferent. A hard task, considering exactly what _'__before __all __this__'_ actually refers to.

Mali looks exasperated and very annoyed by his words. Koga thought living for so long, for a human, would have taught her to control her emotions. "I know that; what I meant is how, not when." She snaps.

Koga fists his hands as the memory of the first time he met Kagome comes into his mind. If at that time he had have more time with Kagome, if she had decided to accept his proposition, if he had tried harder, if she had not already been in love with Inuyasha…

A love story full on ifs.

"I kidnapped her." Koga answers, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice. He can still remember it, vivid like it was yesterday. Kagome had felt like she was made for his arms. Her scent had engulfed him, and he had known, from that moment on, that he was his. He breaks this train of thought, forces himself out of his memories, and gives Mali a toothy smile. "Inuyasha didn't like it."

"Inuyasha?" Mali asks, and the curiosity in her voice makes Koga realize that this conversation was all a trap to get him to this point.

It seems he can still not outrun Inuyasha.

"Kagome's…hanyou." It had been like that, hadn't it? Except he had not only been Kagome's. Try as he might, he had also been Kikyo's, and there were ghost that couldn't be shaken, especially if the ghost happened to still be walking amongst them. "Always was a jerk," And Koga is really trying to keep his voice neutral. Whatever problems he had with Inuyasha, he had been an ally, had been an occasional realize for his frustration, and his partner in keeping Kagome alive and as happy as possible. "But in those times at least he wasn't with Naraku."

How funny life was, that even with their united tries, they had failed miserably. At the end, Kagome had died, only to be rescued by none other than Sesshoumaru.

At least he knows that the old Inuyasha would be as angry at this development as he is.

"You fought next to Inuyasha." Mali's voice has that edge of stubbornness Kagome gets when she refuses to let something go. Perhaps the need to defy youkai that could potentially kill you is a requirement to become a powerful miko?

"I also fought him." Koga remarks, and he doesn't hide the pride he has in those words. It had been fun, to fight with him.

And when they fought, it was always for Kagome. Because Kagome was, is, will always be the one person closes to his heart. He remembers those months in future Japan, the kisses he stole and caresses she allowed, those moments when she only looked at him, no pain, or tears, not wondering about dogs that didn't deserve her. Those few moments when she was his.

* * *

Mali looks at the wolf youkai beside her. His stride is confident, and his senses are always alert. He is handsome in a rough way, and just by the way he talks, she already knows that he is in love with Kagome.

"So, you know Kagome's story." Mali continues. There is no point in hiding her curiosity. Years of fighting against youkai has taught her that the best way to annoy them is to be as human as possible, to show all your emotions. It's the best way to make them do something you want because it's unexpected to them. It leaves them on moving ground.

"Yes." Is the clipped answers she gets with Koga. It still sounds indifferent, and Mali wonders what is hidden behind the coolness.

"But you weren't there when she died." She keeps pressing. Eventually, he will break, and she will get the answers she wants.

"What is it that you want to know?" Koga finally snaps.

Impatient, too. Mali wonders how youkai can live for so long and still manage to be so childish.

"It seems everywhere I go, there is someone that loves Kagome." Mali gives as an explanation. This time, she is careful to keep her voice calm. No use starting a fight when everyone is already so tense.

"Only Inuyasha." Koga is quick to respond. It doesn't matter what the big mutt says, Sesshoumaru does not love Kagome.

Mali lets a smile caress her lips. Koga thinks it looks like the calm before the storm. "And yourself. And Sesshoumaru. Powerful youkai who will decide how this war ends. How did you end up wrapped around her fingers?"

Koga tilts his head to look at her closer. "We are not wrapped around her fingers." When Mali snorts, Koga decides to let it go, this time. "And Sesshoumaru doesn't know what love is, and if someone is going to define this war, it is not us, but her."

Smart and stupid at the same time. Why do youkai always seem to possess both of these qualities? Only someone blind, or Kagome herself, would not be able to see Sesshoumaru's feelings. At least Koga is right as far as this war is concerned.

"She is the Shikkon No Tama Miko," Mali states, which really, is unnecessary.

Koga actually laughs, a clipped, bitter, laugh, and around him, the youkai look startled and the mikos more nervous.

But Mali ignores them for now. "Yes, Kagome is the miko we need. It really is very simple, more than killing Naraku, we need to get rid of the Pearl, and Kagome is the only one that can do it. The way I see it, our only job is to allow Kagome to do that. First, we have to go through Naraku's army, and neither your youkai nor my miko are strong enough. Not even together."

The youkai sighs, and the next step he takes seems to take him all the energy he has left. He stops short. Mali takes a step before actually stopping, and the rest of their party look puzzled at the sudden stop form their leaders. "There are more youkai against Naraku. Much more. Strong youkai waiting for the right time." Koga confesses, and although his voice reveals nothing, his shoulders slack.

"And why haven't you contacted them?" Mali really tries not to sound like she is scowling him.

Koga frowns, and for a moment there is and anger so consuming, Mali feels like stepping away. It is, however, gone as soon as it was there. "I am not strong or respected enough for those youkai to want to fight under me. They would rather fight alone and die alone. It would take someone much stronger for them to join in the way we need."

'_Not __good __enough__'_, Mali thinks, _'__even __with __how __desperate __the __situation __is.__Youkai __really __are __bothersome.__"_

"Would someone like Sesshoumaru do?" She already knows the answer, if Koga's tightening of his fists is any indication.

"He is probably the only one that can make them come together." Koga wants to hit something, or someone, preferably Sesshoumaru. All this time, trying to save what is left of this world, and it is still not enough.

He is still _not_ what anyone needs.

"And we trust him because Kagome trusts him. The other miko that are hiding will fight, too, under him, because I will put my loyalties on his side." Mali looks around her, at the miko waiting back for them to move. Not one of them would not follow her.

"And we have an army." Koga says, and under his breath, "_Fucking __Sesshoumaru_." It is not silent enough for Mali to miss it.

It could be their biggest disadvantage; to have this wolf against Sesshoumaru is dangerous, especially when it is a woman in between them. Despite what Koga thinks, not one of his men would fight with Sesshoumaru, if he was did not support him. They would choose the wolf, the youkai that has been with them from the beginning.

She will not let a love dispute ruin their chances of peace. Love took her best friend and her lover away from her, but it will not rip this world.

Mali suppresses a deep breath, aware that what she is about to say will only twist the knife. "Kagome loves him, and her right place is by Sesshoumaru's side. They may not know it yet, but it is," Mali said firmly. "I have heard all this time how much she loved Inuyasha, but the truth is, when it came between Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru, she chose Sesshoumaru without hesitation. As much as she loved the puppet, she loves Sesshoumaru more. Do you understand?" Mali fixes him with a look that has years and years of experience, and has lost a love.

Zetsou was hers, he loved her, and that still wasn't enough.

But with Kagome and Sesshoumaru, the golden-eyed youkai would go to the ends of the world just to get her back. Nothing would keep him from her, except maybe the very own Kagome.

Mali will make Koga understand, "You do not have a chance, Koga. You came too late again, so for your own good, for the good of this world, keep away. You said it yourself. It is about Kagome. And Sesshoumaru is best for her."

She can hear Koga's teeth grind, and everyone is trying to ignore the blood slipping through his hands. Mali feels bad for him. She is sure that, in another time, in another world, another place, he would have been perfect for Kagome. It would have been effortless, without all the heartache and pain. They would fit together like puzzle pieces.

But in this Universe, at this moment, there is no space for Koga as anything, but Kagome's friend.

Koga barks something at his subordinate, the wind rustles, and he is gone.

Mali feels a sadness fill her, and she suffers for the youkai that could, but did not.

* * *

Kagome was happily meditating about her sorry existence when she felt Koga stop next to her. He is rustled, out of breath, and by the blood on his hands, obviously, something went wrong with Mali.

"Tell me that is your blood and not a mikos or I swear by Kami I will…"she threatened

"It is mine."

"Oh," Kagome blinks a couple of times, before the words kick in, and she has Koga open his palms for her. "Idiot, what did you do? Why are you so careless with yourself?"

He looked away from her, "I got angry."

"You stupid youkai, why do you get hurt whenever you get angry? I should start an anger management club or something," she muttered under her breath.

"A what?"

Kagome sighs. "Never mind. Your wounds are already curing. Please tell me you left strong youkai with Mali and the others, and that they will arrive safely."

"I did."

"Good."

There is silence for a while. Koga's hand is still in Kagome's, and as soon as Kagome comes to her senses, she tries to pull it away, but Koga's hold is too tight.

"Please, let go." Kagome says, a bit too forcefully. Her hand is starting to hurt.

"Why?" There is something off with Koga's voice, and instead of loosening his grip, he tightens it a bit more.

"I just want you to let go." Kagome repeats, trying to sound calm. What is wrong with Koga? He is usually so gentle with her.

"You've been with Sesshoumaru all this time." Again, that tone of voice. It is too cold, too emotionless to belong to Koga.

"You already know I have."

Koga's eyes are also off. There is no warmth there, and they are so intently on her, as if trying to find a hidden truth. "I understand why you grew close to him, because there was no one else, but now I am here, and you can let go of him."

"Excuse me?" Kagome blinked.

"There is no reason why you should interact with him more than necessary. You can lean on me now."

"Koga!" Now, Kagome's tone is more clipped.

"I will take care of you," he vows.

"I don't want you to." Her tone is angry, and she tries once more to pull her hand away.

The grip tightens even more.

"Let go, Koga. You are hurting me." Koga doesn't, and finally Kagome sends just the tiniest bit of purifying power to Koga, enough to let him go. Koga jumps back, but Kagome can' feel sorry for it. "What is wrong with you?"

"No!" Koga yells back, and it's like something inside of him has finally broken. "What is wrong with _you_? Why do you have to defend Sesshoumaru? Why the hell do you always have to be on someone else's side?"

"He saved me! He stuck by me all this time. Why the hell do you think I wouldn't have stuck by him?" She shouted back, her anger rising with each word.

"He is Sesshoumaru!" Koga shouts in disgust.

Kagome's eyes narrow. "I'd be very careful with your next words." She says, voice like the sharpest sword.

Koga, too angry to really do any thinking, doesn't listen to her warning. "He is Inuyasha's brother! What, do you have something with mutts? Do you like getting hurt? Is that it, Kagome? Are you with them because they hurt you? Is that what you want?"

Slap.

Kagome's hand is raised. Koga's head is turned to the right, a red bruise on his cheek. It's starting to disappear, but it stings. Koga suddenly wonders if it's possible for it to sting forever, like a mark so he remembers that he, too, can hurt Kagome.

"If I wanted to get hurt…" She says, and he can feel it, the pain in her words, the fury in her eyes, the disappointment radiating from her body. "I would stay here and listen to you."

Koga watches her go. '_What __could __I __have __done, __to __make __her __love __me?__" _

Once, Kikyo had told him even if Kagome couldn't be with Inuyasha, she would probably choose Sesshoumaru over him. He never thought it could be true.

* * *

Of course, the person she runs into right after Koga is Mali. How could it not be Mali?

Fucking Feudal Era, miko that don't know their place, youkai that shouldn't love, hanyou that are just plain stupid, just…everything. Fuck everything.

"I'm glad you arrived safely." The way Kagome said it, though, makes it sound like she wishes they'd drown somewhere.

Mali watches her calmly, "Next time, you could come to get us yourself."

"Next time, you could try not to make the people that are trying to help you angry." Kagome takes a deep breath. "There has been space made for your tents, but we should work on a better shield. There is too much power in one small area."

"I agree."

"We can start talking about what we are going to do from here as soon as you are settled, which I hope will be no later than tomorrow?"

"Of course, but before we continue, I need to ask something."

"Sure, whatever."

"I want to know if your loyalties are still with the puppet," Mali asked.

All air goes out of Kagome. Mali hasn't even been in the camp for ten minutes, and already she's with these questions?

"Excuse me?"

Mali looked her right in the eye, "You are the key piece in this war. I need to know if you are completely on our side, or if there is a chance that you would change sides for Inuyasha."

"I would never side with Naraku!" She shouts at the miko. "How dare you think I would do something like that?" Kagome tries to keep her powers in check.

Lashing out at Mali will certainly bring…conflicting issues between everyone. Except Sesshoumaru, who will probably be glad. Why, oh why does she have to think about that idiot every two seconds? Can't she even have one conversation without him butting in on her mind?

"Would you not do it even for Inuyasha?"

"What does he have to do with my decisions?"

"You loved him."

"That was in another life."

"Really?" Mali has a glint in her eyes that Kagome completely finds creepy. It also gives her goose bumps.

"Yes." Kagome says firmly.

"But I've heard stories of your great love. A love like that is not easily forgotten."

"You…" She starts, but doesn't know how to continue. It's none of her business who she loves or doesn't, so why the hell does she have to explain? And to Mali, of all people… "I don't love Inuyasha, okay? I mean, a part of me will always love him, but…"

Damn, there's no stopping her big mouth now. The words just flow out of it, and she has no control over them. "He was my first love, but he…"

Inuyasha's touch was never as intoxicating as Sesshoumaru's. His voice didn't fill her with the warmth his older brother's does. When she died, the part of her that was meant for Inuyasha died, too. She opened her eyes, locked them with Sesshoumaru's, and without her knowledge, everything shifted. Maybe once, a long time ago, in another lifetime, she was meant to end up with Inuyasha.

But now… "I'll kill him because that's what I have to do. Because it's my job. My love for him is but a memory, and…"

God, those red eyes that used to be golden, those hands, that figure, she had loved him so much! She thought she might die because of it. When he died, she thought that was it for her, but now- "I will kill him. Okay? And I could never, not even if Sesshoumaru…"

She knows that she is not making any sense. But if Sesshoumaru decided to go all evil, if he switched sides and went with Naraku. She'd have no choice but to become neutral because, how on earth would she be able to kill him?

It's not like with Inuyasha. She knows she can live without Sesshoumaru. She just doesn't want to.

Being a traitor to this era and her own era would be more preferable than being against Sesshoumaru. She's so much a part of him that not being at his side is unnatural.

She belongs _only_ at his side.

It can't be explained. The power that pulls her towards Sesshoumaru is not tangible, but it's there. And maybe, just maybe, even if she hadn't died, her right place would still have been by Sesshoumaru's side. Perhaps loving Inuyasha was just to prepare her for this love that is so much more than what they ever shared. She never thought it would be possible to love more than she had loved Inuyasha, but there is no denying it.

"I love Sesshoumaru." She finishes, and saying it aloud, to someone, feels great. Amazing. Awesome. Those words she will never tell Sesshoumaru but are there between them. This is what love should be like. Not the sickness she felt when she loved Inuyasha, but this calm that feels her, makes her whole and centered.

"Then why are you telling me and not him?"

Kagome feels the fume coming out of her. The nerve! But she is right. Why is she wasting the words on Mali when she has to tell them to Sesshoumaru?

Without bothering to say goodbye, Kagome turns and runs. Whatever Sesshoumaru thinks of her, whatever feelings she has, this time, Kagome will confess her feelings. She'd rather tell him and suffer his rejection than live a life of maybes.

* * *

Because the Universe, in all its glory, likes to make fun of her, it starts raining. More like the sky starts pouring over her head, and Kagome is so not surprised at this change of events, that she doesn't even sigh. At least she can see Sesshoumaru, too dumb to look for protection from this rain, still sitting on the rock where she left him.

"I changed my mind," she says, as soon as Sesshoumaru's eyes rest on her.

"About what?" He is aloof, and she hates him when he is that way. It's just a cover, and Kagome wants to get inside the cover.

"I won't sit around and pretend-" His golden eyes are on her, making her hot even as the sky falls on her.

She wishes for the world to just swallow her up, or maybe drown her. "I won't sit around and pretend- I loved him." Her stupid mouth lets out.

She is completely aware that this is not the thing to say, but Kagome's never been good with saying the right thing.

Sesshoumaru is still waiting for her to continue and give him a competent and rational reason as to why she sought him out. He should know better by now.

Thunder and lightning joined the rain, but none of them move, and Kagome finally snaps. He's just looking at her, not saying anything, and Kagome has waited too long, repressed this for way too much time, to keep it quiet now.

"What's the point?" She yells at him throughout the storm. "Why the hell are you still here? With me? Why haven't you gone for your revenge?" Her glare intensifies and he continues to stare at her.

Her questions pound on his ears. "You don't even give a damn!" She is stepping farther from him. She can't stand being near him when he is acting so cold.

Her distress, however, makes him distressed, even if he doesn't show it, and he, too, is tired of wanting and not having. It is not in his nature.

Kagome can only think, 'what's the point?' Koga is just a friend, and he doesn't understand half of it. The army they are building is not important if one of them leaves. Nothing truly matters. Not if they are not there for each other, and if she could get this point across Sesshoumaru's thick skull, even she could make him understand that all she is doing is for him.

Sesshoumaru watches her back away from him, and it feels like she is slipping away from him. She came here to say something, and somehow, she has decided that she said enough, and he didn't get it.

He can stand her loving another, but not having her at all is too much for him. He will not allow her to walk away from him.

He goes after her, catches her by the waist in a flash, and turns her towards him. Her face is soaked, and her eyes are watery, and she has never looked more beautiful, more his, as she does now.

There is nothing, nothing at all for him that compares to finally having her nestled against his chest. His skin feels like it is getting shocked everywhere, there is a disturbing feeling on his stomach, and it's as if his heart is being squeezed.

"Sesshoumaru…" And the way he says his name, so soft and uncertain, makes him never want to let go.

But he will. Despite Kagome believing she doesn't love Inuyasha, he knows she must. He saw him and her together, and although he was not interested at all in them, it was still painfully obvious how they could only see each other.

Kagome wants to stay right here, under the rain, until they become an ancient memory. She will tell him, make him understand…if she knows Sesshoumaru as well as she does, then he completely missed her saying that she no longer loves Inuyasha. But she can tell him, and most importantly, she can show him. And hopefully, just hopefully, she'll be able to stay in his arms. "Sesshoumaru, I…"

"The point is, Kagome…" He interrupts her in a low voice, "that we've been through too much." Because he brought her back to life, just to start all over again together. "Gained too much," a teammate, a friend, a love. "And it's already too late for us to be…" So many things they are late for.

Too much of him that is she is him.

"Apart." She says.

"Apart," he repeats bringing her closer to him, embracing this human, this miko. This is what his life has become. "This is the point, Kagome."

'_Another __time__'_, Kagome thinks. _'__I __will __let __him __know __I __love __him __another __time. __For __now, __I __will __enjoy __this __moment. __I __will __enjoy __his __arms __around __me __while __I __can.__'_

But it is bittersweet. She can be next to him, but not with him. Not now. This is not the right time to tell him. Maybe she is fooling herself, but as long as she delays, for even an hour, her confession, then she can stay longer in his arms.

The rain keeps falling around them, but neither of them let go.

* * *

**So, one more chapter done. Again, I'm sorry it's taking so long, but with life and lack of editor (fortunately one of those two problems have been solved, this chapter took longer than expected).**

**Again, applauses to Colette (editor since Twisted Hearts), and Sindiya, new to the family, but still doing a great job (and she managed to convince me to change the ending of this chapter, completely changing the course of the story). I'll tell you about that when the story is finished, but I can tell you this. It just got longer, and took a crucial turn...for the best, I think.**

**So now, go leave a review, and I'll try to get this chapters out soones (fingers cross). I want to finish this story before February, so that is my new goal because...**

**1) My travels are ending (yep, I'm leaving Europe and returning to Mexico)**

**2) Going back to Veterinary School, which means less time to...well, less time to everything but veterinary.**

**So yeah, that is my new goal, so I better keep it!**


	28. Puppet

**So, here is another chapter, yay!**

**Enjoy it! This time no thank you's because I thank you all for still reading this story...and my battery is dying, so I should post this soon. **

**Enjoy Christmas and New Year's with all the people you love, and I hope this year has given you everything you wanted and more.**

**Lots of love!**

* * *

**Fragments Of A Shattered Moon**

**Puppet**

_Recordarás los antiguos besos y el frío dolor que crecía, recordarás esa poderosa alegría y los ojos y las manos perdidas; recordarás el remordimiento por lo escasos que fueron sus besos. El sueño perdido de como se conocieron sabe a miseria en tus labios marchitos. Ayer parecía amor pero nacido para morir hoy, es inquietud,dolor. La bendición es el olvido, el silencio. Pero no será secreto. NO! Siempre será secreto_

_-Damian, Angeles o Demonios_

* * *

_Inuyasha smiles the softest smile as he watches Kagome twirl around in front of her house, autumn leaves all around her. Kagome pushes the stray strands of her raven hair off her rosy cheeks. She tosses the leaves into the air, and laughs as they fall all around her._

_She smiles radiantly at him with a sparkle in her sapphire eyes. Inuyasha secretly melts._

_Still, as much as h__e was enjoying admiring her; he didn't like going to the future. It smelled bad, and his ears always rang from the constant moving atrocities. _

_Cars, Kagome calls them._

_Kagome wanted to come visit her mother and he couldn't deny her. Not after she had spent so much time in the Feudal Era, and especially not after how hard the last battle against Naraku went._

_Inuyasha's eyes cloud as the memory hits him; Sango almost bleeding to death and Kagome desperately trying to save her. It had taken all her energy and supplies. It took countless nights by her side, and a lot of luck, but eventually Sango had come through._

_At the end, Kagome was more devastated than Sango. Seeing her dear friend so close to dying had scared Kagome to the point where nightmares regular broke her sleep. _

_When she had told him she wanted a few weeks in her time, Inuyasha had growled and complained but had let her come without much of a fuss, and the condition that he come with her._

_Seeing her here, so happy and carefree, playing like a child put his heart at ease, but it also darkens his mood._

_This is her right place._

_The clothes in this time fit her better than any miko clothes she could wear. The trials she has to overcome take place in a school and are written on paper. She visits her friends, making excuses that they swallow, though Inuyasha knows that they know Kagome is lying. _

_Still, they take her shopping, fill her in on all the things that she has missed, and make her promise she'll see them more often, even though they know that this will not happen. Her mother always has warm green tea when they arrive from school. Her brother anxiously waits for more stories, and Kagome is so at ease, so worry-free…_

_She belongs here, in a world where he doesn't, and it makes him want to grab her and take her back to the Feudal Era with the same intensity that it makes him want to leave her here and seal the well forever._

_Because as much as he wants her with him, he wants her to be happy more, and it breaks his heart to know that Kagome will never be completely happy in a world where fighting for your life is an everyday thing. _

_He loves Kagome. Loves her like he could never love Kikyo. Kagome, with the innocent eyes and child-like laugh. Kagome, who still doesn't understand that she can never survive untainted in a world where she is next to him._

"_Inuyasha, Inuyasha!" her voice singsongs. "Come here, its fun!" as even more bright leaves are tossed into the air._

"_Keh, as if I would lower myself to your level." He makes his voice sound as annoyed as he can make it. _

"_Come on!" She insists, running forward and grabbing him by the hand. She tugs, and he follows because, at least here, he can give into temptation. He can pretend there is a future for them._

"_This is stupid." And even as he says the words, he is bending down to pick up the leaves. _

"_This is fun!" Kagome laughs again as Inuyasha half-heartily tosses them up. Moments like this remind him of exactly how young she is. Just 17 years old, and even though he has been asleep for most of his years, the difference between them is enormous._

_He had to grow up with Sesshoumaru as his brother, and that should be enough to age him at least some hundred years. This child-like behavior and easygoing attitude is something Inuyasha will never be able to have, and it pulls them apart even more._

_He knows that, eventually, Kagome will come back to this era. She will meet a man who will love her and be able to give her a good life. And this man, he will not be as handsome as Inuyasha, and certainly not as interesting, but he will be normal, and that will, eventually, be more important to Kagome._

_Just a normal guy who loves her dearly._

_So, when a leaf is stuck in his hair, and Kagome leans down to take it away, he doesn't stop it. He can feel the end coming; soon he will force her to stay on this side. _

_When the moment grows tense and she tilts her head just so, he hesitates for a second before closing the distance between them._

_It's just one more stolen kiss before they are done. Just one more moment. Her lips are soft under his, and she lets him lead, like always. Her arms go around his neck, and his hands go to her waist as he brings her closer. He kisses her tenderly, steals her breath away with the sweetness of it. Inuyasha is selfish, and because of this, he will allow her name to come out of his lips; allow her to believe that there is a chance between them._

* * *

Inuyasha is between his worst nightmare and the most beautiful dream he could ever have. He is in Naraku's castle and in front of him, there are demons he has never seen and some he has heard of. They all share the same thing, though, and that is their status as puppets. All of them remember their past. Some of them, like him, hated Naraku with the same or more intensity that he did, and yet…

Now, they are all willing to die for Naraku, to kill the people they loved and fought alongside. All of them are been used, and it makes not a single difference. The puppets will march for their master.

But…

Inuyasha keeps seeing Kagome. She is laughing. She is looking at him with the tenderest smile that has ever existed, and there is so much love in every one of her actions…

She tends to injuries that will heal in an instant. She jumps in his arms, trusting he will always catch her. She comes back from the future, smiles as if he is her sun. Then she is looking at him with resign, because she thinks of how it will always be about Kikyo. She lets go of Kouga's hand, and he ignores the pain in her eyes. She loves, and he pretends her love is not enough.

It is like a movie that he is forced to watch, and try as he might, he cannot close his eyes. Her image follows him everywhere, and her laughter is all around him, her scent surrounds him, and Inuyasha remembers how fragile she was under his arms…

It should not matter.

She is Naraku's enemy, and his brain is telling him to destroy her. Inuyasha cannot allow the Shikkon No Tama miko to breath at the same time as Lord Naraku.

His right arm prods, a constant reminder that the Kagome that haunts him no longer exists.

Even he can see that she belongs to his idiotic half brother, and he should not at all care, but he does. Of all the people in this world to go to… why Sesshoumaru? Why did she not run to Kouga? Why did it have to be Sesshoumaru? He should have let Kagome stay with Kouga after that time…the time that those two were stuck in the future. He had seen, of course, he had seen, how much it had hurt Kagome to let go of the wolf's hand. But she had done it.

And now, all that loyalty is Sesshoumaru's, and he knows it is stronger to the one she had for him. Much stronger.

He is doomed. That much is obvious. If there is one thing that has always defined Inuyasha, it is his ability to be jealous, especially of anyone that even breathes the same air Kagome does. It seems not even that witch's magic can overcome that.

And talking about that witch…

"Did you know she could make so many puppets?" He asks his companion.

Sango has a crazy look in her eyes, and Inuyasha knows where this is leading. She is ready to get them into action, to take them and threaten this world. He is, too. His blood is boiling with anticipation. He wants to massacre, to kill, to have this world in as much turmoil as he is in right now. Inuyasha wants the blood, the screams, the smoke in the sky, and the fire all around him.

"I did not know. I thought she had overdone herself with us, but look at this!" Sango looks like a child with a new toy. If the child had red eyes, an evil smile, and the creepiest feeling around her, that is.

"And they are all under our command?"

"Atsuki made it like that. They are loyal to Naraku, but they will follow our orders. They are the perfect warriors."

Sango goes on talking about blood this, scream that, and Inuyasha tunes her out. One side of him pulls him to follow Naraku's orders. Those are unquestionable. That is his sole purpose. The other part of him, the one that is growing and growing with each second, pulls him towards Kagome. Save Kagome. Make Kagome happy. Do not let her become more tainted than she already is.

"Inuyasha, are you coming?"

"…Yes." He manages to answer back, turning to follow Sango.

There is a war to plan and to win, strategies to discuss. He will crush Sesshoumaru. At least in that his two parts agree. He turns to look at the army. Ferocious warriors with no purpose but to kill, and in his mind Kagome appears like the first time he saw her; Just a fifteen year old girl trying to save a sleeping boy.

He is going to battle against the one person he has promised to protect, and he is ready to do it. He has to do it, even if her blue eyes haunt his every thought.

But how can he let her go?

* * *

Kagome has no timing.

"Hatchoo!" she sneezes.

Sitting in the corner on of his tent, which was one of the largest tents at the campsite befitting of his status, Sesshoumaru tries to fight the small smile that is threatening to break through his face. It is not dignified to smile, but most importantly, Kagome will not be amused if he mocks her. Of course, usually this would not be a problem, as the miko is most entertaining when annoyed, but due to the circumstances, he decides that it would beneath him to insult her while she cannot even put together a decent retort.

"I'm dying!" Kagome moans once more, from somewhere under the deepness of his covers.

"That is unlikely." His tone is as flat as he can make it.

Mali told him it was nothing but a cold, and that it would pass soon. She did say all this after scolding him for letting her stay outside in the rain. Sesshoumaru still cannot understand why Kagome's sickness is his fault. Just because his immune system is better than humans are, Mali should not blame him for Kagome's foolishness. Even more exasperating is Mali's need to try to scold him, making him want to tear out her throat, except that would make them lose many allies.

Kagome lets out a whimper as she finally pokes her head from the covers. "I feel horrible, everything hurts, my throat is killing me, and I can barely keep my eyes open."

She is too pale for his comfort and sweaty because of the fever. Her hair is an even bigger mess than usual, and she has now taken to self-pity. Apparently, all the strength gained in the last few years has evaporated. Despite countless battles, running into friends turned enemies, and even a puppet Inuyasha, the common cold undoes all her progress.

She glares at him, or tries to anyway. Her eyes are so bloodshot that she can barely open them to glare at him. "You're not taking me seriously."

Sesshoumaru picks up a fresh towel, "I assure you that I am taking you as seriously as your current words deserve." He says this as he places a towel on her forehead. He is pleased to notice her fever has broken.

"I…" Kagome frowns, looks confused, and then decides trying to glare at him is her best bet. "Did you just mock me?"

Sesshoumaru refrains from answering and gracefully sits back in his corner.

"Sesshoumaru!" She whines again, and the demon tries to remember that, if he hurts her, he will regret it later.

As if hearing her complain every two minutes was not bothersome enough, Kagome is currently living in his tent. As soon as she got sick, she decided invading Sesshoumaru's tent was a good idea. Her explanation had been that she did not want lingering germs in her tent, and as he was youkai and could not catch a cold, it was the obvious choice, and he should accept it.

Before he could even object, Kagome flopped onto his mat, curled up with the blankets up to her face, and refused to move for the last two days. Sesshoumaru had decided moving her would take more effort that letting her stay. That was the only reason he was not carting her back to her tent. That, and he was not sure what germs were, but he was fairly certain, whatever those things were had caused Kagome's sickness. At least she accepted his metabolism was superior to hers.

Well, that and Kouga's anger. Sesshoumaru had found fairly entertaining the way the wolf's face had changed colors. Besides, if he was not allowed to touch Kagome in delicious ways, then certainly the wolf youkai had no rights.

"Sesshoumaru! Do something. I'm dying!" Kagome whined.

Sesshoumaru is not smirking. Really. A youkai of his caliber would not do that. He raises his nose and sniffs the air. There is the unmistakable smell of sickness, although it is not as bad as yesterday. There is also Kagome's misery in the air, but not a trace of impending death.

"You are not dying." He reassures her. "You are just ill, and it is getting better."

"That's what you say to people that are dying!" She exclaims, trying to sit up, but eventually giving up and staying down.

"Kagome…"

But even sick, Kagome continues to interrupt him. "This is your entire fault!" She exclaims, regaining force to point a finger at him and try to do an accusatory look, but the effect is lost because she keeps blinking.

"I don't see how this could be my fault."

"I was under the rain because of you!"

Ah, yes. Sesshoumaru remembers. The warmth of her body against his, her soft hair against his chin, and her hands holding tight. Her smell under the rain, and the desire that poured out of his every cell.

How much he had wanted to kiss that infuriating mouth, to make it clear that the only reason he tolerated so many useless miko and youkai was because of her. That it is all because of her.

His will to fight, to want to smile, to not be so indifferent to life. He owes it all to her.

"It is not my problem if your metabolism is weak." Of course, he does not owe her enough to stop pointing out his superiority.

"Humans are not weak."

"And yet, you are sick, and I am not."

"You…" Kagome starts, at the beginning of another rambling, but then her expression changes as she tries to find a point in her favor. Sesshoumaru knows when she fails because her face deflates and she lays back on her pillow, silent for now.

Sesshoumaru watches her as she fumes. If she has energy to hold a grudge, then she is getting better. Even if Mali said it was nothing, it bothered him to see her weak, and as he continues to watch, his mind questions his decisions.

Is it worth it, to keep his feelings a secret? He is Sesshoumaru. He should not be scared of her reaction. He wants her, so why should he not have her? It is not in his nature to hide, so why do it now? Even if her heart still belongs to his useless half brother, wouldn't it be better to let her know than keep it inside?

And she is so, so human. Her life is nothing compared to him. A hummingbird's fluttering of wings against an eagle's flight. Fragile and with such a short life, it feels like he is wasting her life, the few moments he can have with her.

But he hesitates, because what would happen to what they already had? Would everything break? Would this calm between them never be the same?

"Sesshoumaru…" She whispers softly, already half way to sleep.

"Yes?"

"Stay?" she asks with her eyes already closed.

"This is my tent, Kagome. If anyone would go, it is you."

Kagome's lips twitch into a small smile. "Right."

As close as they are now, could it really tear them apart, this love for her? Except for Inuyasha, could anything tear them apart?

* * *

It seems, what really is lacking in the Feudal Era is timing.

If Kagome's timing is bad, Kouga's is worse.

He is not sure why he is standing in Sesshoumaru's tent. This is certainly the last place he wants to be. Kagome may not understand it, but choosing to stay in Sesshoumaru's tent instead of her own, especially when she is in need, is recognizing that she belongs to Sesshoumaru. At least in youkai culture.

It makes him want to kill Sesshoumaru, to rip his skin, take her and go as far away as his legs can carry him. He cannot give her up, and yet he can feel her slipping away from him, farther and farther away from his grip.

Except, he has never have her, has he?

Just few moments when they had been trapped in the future, when she let him in, when he could pretend she would stay by his side for all her life. Deep down, he always knew she would go back to Inuyasha, that whatever they had always had a time limit.

"You have your own tent." His voice is plain. It is either that or a yell, and as much as he is angry with Kagome, he doesn't want to make her feel worse.

Kami, he loves her. So, so much, and he can't understand how he can love her so much, and she can't love him even a little bit back.

"I don't want sickness in my tent." She replies. Her voice husky from the pain on her throat. She looks exhausted, sweaty, and about a second from fainting. Kouga thinks she looks beautiful.

"It's not good for you to be in Sesshoumaru's tent." He wants to take care of her, to have her in his tent, to be able to give Sesshoumaru a cocky look as Kagome goes to him.

"I like being here." She says, stubborn even in sickness.

"It sends the wrong message."

She sighs and closes her eyes before answering back. "And what message would that be?"

"That you are his." He is not trembling. Really. That shaking on his hand is normal, always happens.

Kagome's eyes scan Kouga, and she looks at him with such…sadness…

"You know I am." Her eyes leave him, and her voice breaks a little. "I am his miko."

"That's not what I meant!" Kouga finally explodes. He wants to shake her out of her stupidity, tell her that Sesshoumaru will leave her even more broken than Inuyasha.

How will he be able to pick up her pieces and put her back together again? She has been broken so many times, why does she insist on being more broken? How can he save her, when she refuses to save herself?

Kagome finally meets his eyes. "I am Sesshoumaru's."

"But he is not yours!" He says viciously, trying to mar her. He does not know any other way to make her open her eyes.

Kagome refuses to back down. "It doesn't matter."

"Like it didn't matter with Inuyasha?" Low blow, but anger is clouding his judgment, and he wants her to feel like he does, even if the only thing they share is anger and tears.

"Get. Out." Her eyes sparkle with fire, although it could be the fever, which is probably the only reason he has not been purified.

Just like that, all his anger drains, and he sees Kagome, sick, and now hurt because of his words. The words to apologize are in his mouth, but Kagome has already turned away from him, and Kouga leaves with his head down.

* * *

The stupid youkai, Kouga did something unbelievably stupid. Centuries of dealing with idiocy has taught her to see it from miles. Kouga walks towards her from the left, just as Sesshoumaru makes his way from the right. He sniffs the air, and his eyes immediately land on Kouga. Mali knows that look. It is the look Taisho used to give his victims before they were dead, and now, the eldest son is directing that look towards Kouga.

Kouga, the youkai in charge of all the other youkai here. Granted they are not incredibly powerful like Sesshoumaru, but they are a considerable number, and against Naraku, no one can afford to be beggars.

The two of them finally reach Mali.

"You were in my tent." Sesshoumaru eyes gleaming dangerously and the air suddenly turns a few degrees lower.

"Kagome is there," challenges Kouga without hesitation. His eyes meet Sesshoumaru's in defiance.

Mali fights the urge to step back and go train mikos far away from here.

Sesshoumaru's claws twitches, "That is not a sufficient reason for you to go into my tent. A youkai like you does not even deserve to be close to it." Sesshoumaru is fighting to not dismember Koga. It would not be beneficial, he tries to remind himself, even as his blood boils for action.

Mali decides there is no time like now to interfere before he kills the poor, stupid youkai.

She steps forward."You have to go for the other youkai before Naraku makes his move."

Sesshoumaru's eyes linger on Kouga, his anger palpable to all three of them.

"No." He says simply, and even Kouga's mouth drops.

"Excuse me?" Maybe he didn't hear Mali right. It had been established, sometime in between Kagome's sickness, that Sesshoumaru was the only choice to go for the youkai. He knew they would not come, would not fight together, if it were not under him.

"We agreed you were the best choice to lead," Mali said through gritted teeth.

"No." Sesshoumaru says again. "You agreed and I refrained from saying anything."

"But…" Mali protested.

"I have no wish to lead a secondhand army." This he says while looking at Kouga, making it perfectly clear what he considers him. "More importantly, you should not assume you are on the level to decide things with me. I agreed to help you. I never agreed to do it your way, or to listen to your useless suggestions." Sesshoumaru is not angry because of their assumptions. It is his fault for not having put them on their place. What has him about to explode like a volcano is Kouga in his tent, with Kagome. It is not jealously. He would never be jealous of Kouga.

It is pure madness that the demon would dare cross a clearly visible line. Kagome is his. Just because she does not want to be his, does not change that.

The only thing that is between them is the ghost of his half-brother. He will not allow another wall to erect between them.

"We talked about this!" Kouga yells at him, unable to control his temper. "You bastard! This affects us all! If you don't help us win, you will suffer the consequences, too!"

Sesshoumaru snaps, speeding into Kouga's personal space before the wolf can even react.

Kouga is reminded that, despite how fast he is, Sesshoumaru has always been in another league altogether.

Sesshoumaru places his hand above Kouga's chest, demon power soaring all around them, making Mali cringle under her skin.

The daiyoukai's eyes dart over Kouga's face as he lets his claws draw blood. "I would rip your heart out right now, if your existence was not helpful at the moment." His claws dug deeper. "This is the second warning I've given you." He throws Kouga to the ground as if he was trash. "There will not be a third."

Sesshoumaru pulls himself to full height, back straight, shoulders pushed, and cold as a glacier. "I am Sesshoumaru. If I desired to take over this…rebellion, it would be with you two below me. Do not forget that." He turns and walks away, a demon in all his glory, power oozing from his very pore.

Mali turns towards the fallen Kouga. "This is all your fault." Her voice is a whisper. How can she make him understand? How can anyone make the wolf youkai react?

He looks indignant, blue eyes flashing viciously, but refrains from saying anything.

"Stay away from Kagome. I've already told you before. She is not for you. She is already someone else."

"Because she doesn't know reason!" Mali can see how this can destroy him. He has bags under his eyes, his hair is a mess, and his look is frantic.

She softens her voice. "Let her go."

"How can I let her go? How can you even ask it off me?" Kouga looks lost, desperate, a drowning man. "I don't know how to stay away from her. I don't know how to stop loving her." His voice cracks, as he fists his hands through his hair.

So, so broken by love.

"I know you don't believe Sesshoumaru loves her, but you are not blind. You just don't want to look at reality." Mali kneels beside him, voice a gentle lapsing as if she was talking to a hurt child. "More importantly, I know you know Kagome loves Sesshoumaru. If she didn't, Sesshoumaru's claim would not matter. Kagome would fight for you. She would cling to you as much as you are clinging to her, but she is not. You are fighting an inexistent war. "

Kouga doesn't answer, doesn't move, just stays there, a salt statue.

"I will go talk to Kagome, make her fix this." Mali sighs, leaving Kouga with his personal demons.

A love triangle between a miko and two youkai; who would have thought?

* * *

"Kagome." Kagome stares at the new intruder and wonders why, if she is in Sesshoumaru's tent, everyone barges in. She would expect it on her own tent, but Sesshoumaru's?

Shouldn't they respect their soon to be leader's privacy?

"Mali, I don't have the energy for you."

Mali gives her a mocking smile and sits next to her anyway.

Kagome doesn't hold back her groan.

"What did I do to deserve this?" She grouses, wondering if she can change her mind and have Sesshoumaru kill Mali. It shouldn't ruin everything too much, right?

"Sesshoumaru is not going for the other youkai."

"What?" Kagome sits. "He has to."

"He said no."

Kagome narrows her eyes at her. "Did you ask nicely?"

"That is beyond the point." Mali says, which means she asked at the completely wrong time, or maybe made it sound like an order, and now Kagome has to go fix this mess.

"I'll talk to him, and after he is on his way for the other youkai, you will leave me alone until I'm better."

Mali has the nerve to look cheerful. "Deal."

Kagome gets up and tries to find the clothes that will cover her best. Really, the nerve of these people. This is all Kikyo's fault. If the damn miko had behaved in her past life, then she would not have to suffer for her sins in this one.

She gets up and opens the tent, shivering from the chill air.

"Why can't you just be nice to Sesshoumaru?" Kagome whines. "It would make my life easier."

"Why don't you just tell him you love him? It would make him happy."

Kagome freezes at Mali's words. "You don't know what you are talking about."

"No." Mali says, by Kagome's side. "It is you who doesn't know. Talk to the youkai before it is too late." Mali exits the tent first, Kagome following with a frown all over her face.

"He does not want me." Kagome finally says softly, but the wind carries her words to Mali.

"Fool." The old miko says, and it feels like a slap.

* * *

Ayumi once told her that she had no idea how to choose a good man. Hojo was right there, ready to love her, and what did Kagome do? Date that weird kid with the white hair that didn't seem to care about her at all.

Kagome is beginning to think that Ayumi might have had a point.

Why does she always have to fall for the most ridiculously stubborn youkai on Earth?

"There you are! I'm sick! You shouldn't make me come outside!" Kagome tries to yell through chattering teeth. When did it become so windy, and why, if she is recovering from a fever caused by staying outside too long, does she have to stand in this unforgiving cold?

"You should not be outside." Sesshoumaru smartly points out, and Kagome wonders if, maybe, all her germs did affect the youkai. He usually is not this stupid.

"It's your fault I'm outside."

The bastard has the nerve to smirk a little. "I thought it was my fault that you got sick? Is it now my fault that you are outside?"

"Yes!" Kagome screams, and then, she feels all the energy leave her, and everything is spinning…

Sesshoumaru catches her before she hits the ground, which is fortunate. If she had hit it, Kagome would certainly have stayed there. Much easier than getting up and crawling back to her tent. Or Sesshoumaru's.

"You are burning." His face is so close to hers, she can feel his breath against it. She feels a shiver run done her spine that has nothing to do with the cold. Kagome moves to snuggle into his shoulder, when a fit of coughs comes over her. The dizziness comes back as everything starts moving around her. Fortunately, it does not take long, and she is back in Sesshoumaru's tent.

"You should take more care of yourself." Sesshoumaru is scolding her while looking for her medicines and wetting a piece of cloth.

In her hazy mind, it suddenly occurs to Kagome that Sesshoumaru would not do this for anyone else. He would leave them sick and weak, and would not feel even guilty about it.

If it were Mali sick, she would bet anything that he would go inside her tent just to rejoice in her pain.

But with Kagome…

He worries, and he treats her so good…like she was…precious.

Her fever must me getting worst if she is thinking this, but…

"Take this, lay down. Why did you go outside?" Sesshoumaru gives her the medicine, and is careful not to drop it on her. He accommodates the pillow, and brings the blankets to her chin. There is no mistaking the worry in his eyes. "Mali said you were getting better."

"It's probably just because I went outside. If I don't go out again, I'll be fine." Kagome says to soothe him, and again, something is her mind begs her to pay attention to how he is behaving.

She will think about this, but first, she has to make him do his part in this war.

"You have to go."

"No." He has his stubborn face, and if Kagome did not feel so bad, she would sigh.

"Sesshoumaru…"

"You are sick." He says, as if that explains it all.

"I am in a camp filled with capable mikos. I'll be fine."

"They are inadequate for taking care of you."

Kagome really is not fit for this discussion right now. He should be thinking about the war, not about her! Again, her brain tells her to focus on him, but she cannot. Not right now. She'll do that when the fever breaks.

Right now, she needs him to cooperate.

"Will you get a grip and go look for those stupid youkai?"

Sesshoumaru stares at her for a moment, and then, simply, answers "Yes."

"What?" She had expected more of a fight, or at least a longer argument.

"You should have asked before, and then we wouldn't have gotten through so many problems."

"You god dammed arrogant, good for nothing…"

But she is interrupted by the intensity in Sesshoumaru's eyes.

"I am only doing this because you ask. " His voice leaves no room for doubt. As if, had she not asked, he would have happily sat down and watch this pass. "That is the only reason why I'm going searching for even more bothersome youkai. And Kagome, I expect you to be fully recovered long before I come back."

Kagome lowers herself on the pillow, allows a deep sigh to escape her lips.

"Sesshoumaru…" She hears his footsteps stop. This is the first time they will be separated for so long. She already misses him, and his presence is still all around her. "Hurry back."

Just like that, Sesshoumaru is suddenly at her side, face so close to her she can feel his breath.

Her heart skips a beat.

Sesshoumaru smirks, and although she should be used to it my now, it still amazes her, how much he expresses around her.

"Foolish human." His tone belittles his words, soft as a caress. "As if there was any other way."

* * *

**Sesshoumaru and Kagome are finally getting a grip of heir feelings...even if they have to be apart for a little.**

**So, hope you all enjoyed the chapter. An early present, and I wish you all a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!**


	29. A Lord Rising

**Ok, so it's come to my attention that I've been leaving the whole battle, and war against Naraku to the side, soI want to get back into that, hopefully start rounding that, so here is my chapter to try to make that happen.**

**Enjoy, and sorry for taking so long! I wish I could promise it won't happen again, but as I'm in my last year of University, with examns and all work, I can't make any promises. I can only give my best and write in all the spare times I have.**

* * *

Fragments of A Shattered Moon

_**A Lord Rising**_

Sesshoumaru presses his sword against the neck of the bakeneko demon.

'Wouldn't it be nice?' Sesshoumaru thinks silently, face not revealing exactly how frustrated he is, 'if I still had Bakusaiga?'

But the sword was lost when his house fell, and in a moment of irony, it was just Tenseiga who stayed at his side. A blessing in disguise, as it had given him the ability to rescue Kagome.

But still…

He had forgotten exactly how annoying other strong youkai could be. Kagome, of course, was annoying, but she was the right kind of annoying

This was unacceptable.

The youkai that had survived had an ear out for other survivors, as he had found out through Kouga. They did not come into contact, and they definitely tried to pretend the others didn't exist, but they knew about them, and they knew where they most probably were. Kouga's informant had almost been right.

Three groups of rebel youkai, including Kouga's, two powerful youkai, and a strategist. That was all that had survived. It _had _to be enough. There was no more.

On his second week, he had managed to track down Raiko, a raccoon leader in charge of a group similar to Kouga's, although smaller. It was easy. He had showed up, let a bit of his power out, and Raiko had said, "Well, _finally_." Apparently, Raiko had similar plans. Although much weaker than Sesshoumaru would have liked, the youkai had common sense, or survival instinct better than Kouga's. So they agreed to join him, even with mikos, who he had adamantly admitted could be useful.

Raiko also had information of the whereabouts of Shiori.

Shiori had been one of his father's strategists. By the time he came into the job, Sesshoumaru had already started fighting with his father, and so had stayed as far away from anything that had to do with the man. But he had heard of Shiori and paid a special interest in him. Although young to be in the position he was, the youkai was brilliant. He could give a victory to Sesshoumaru's father where everyone else saw a defeat.

Sesshoumaru hadn't even known he was alive until Kouga had told him. And Raiko knew where he was. Leaving a subordinate to prepare everything and everyone to move to Kouga's camp, Raiko had gone with him to find Shiori. Now older, but still as bright as Sesshoumaru remembered, the youkai had agreed to work with Sesshoumaru, so long as it was only Sesshoumaru who he had to report to. The youkai had survived purely on his brilliant mind, as he had no real power.

His mind was gold, though, and so, in two weeks he had found himself allied with a genius strategist and some rebel youkai.

That was when the easy part ended, and Sesshoumaru considered himself to be lucky of even that much.

The cat youkai in front of him, Yuna, was more powerful than Raiko, and on the level of Kouga.

Unlike Kouga, though, she was sharp, played dirty, and had a devious mind.

Sesshoumaru might have liked her if he didn't find her a nuisance. She fought with vengeance. From the moment she had felt him, she had prepared her attack, which had lead to lots of tricks, and a very frustrated Sesshoumaru. For every hit he had, she had a counterattack, a way of escaping.

When his sword touched the skin of her neck and her tricks ran out, Sesshoumaru allowed the tiniest of smirks to appear on his face, and his eyes flashed for a tiny instant.

Yuna did not miss this.

"So, it is true." She stated. Her green eyes fixed on him. "You_ are _involved with a human. Voice of your return flew fast, as well as news of your companion. A human? It seems the apple does not fall far from the tree, afterall." A cat-like smile broke on her face, and Sesshoumaru had a second to marvel at how audacious she was been with a sword to her neck.

He has always hated dealing with cat youkai.

Raiko's black eyes were boring into his eyes, as well as Shiori's brown ones. Sesshoumaru stopped the sigh that was already forming. He had spent too much time around Kagome with no one else around him, and it showed.

Before her, they would have found nothing out of his expression.

"No." Sesshoumaru says, loud enough for the farthest youkai to hear him. "I am not involved with a human. I am involved with a miko." Technically, that is not true. Kagome is not his mate. He has not taken her, but she is his. Even if she does not know, and if it was for him, she would be involved with him in every way.

So, they are involved, and he has no plans of changing that.

The Sesshoumaru from before would have tossed her aside, never had risked his position for a mere mortal, but this is now, and he is not the Sesshoumaru from before.

He is Sesshoumaru, just Sesshoumaru, still as powerful, still as vicious, and cruel, but he is also Kagome's. He loves her, and somehow, that came to mean everything.

He will not deny her.

"A miko? How low you have fallen!" Yuna exclaims, a sneer forming on her face. Sesshoumaru will simply have to erase it from that face. There is a crack and a repressed scream, and Yuna finds herself with a broken leg.

Raiko and Shiori move to block the youkai moving around them as they see their leader fall, but none of them dare come closer.

"The cut is clean. Someone can set it back in place with no problem." He looks at Yuna, ice in his eyes, and somehow, it burns more than fire. "This is me being nice." He explains his tone bored. "You think you can outsmart me, and that is a fatal mistake." Before Yuna can do anything, Sesshoumaru grabs her arm and makes a clean break of it. Yuna stiffens another scream. "That is also a clean cut and can be healed just as easily as it was made." Sesshoumaru turns his golden eyes towards the rest of the youkai, making sure to make eye contact with Raiko and Shiori. As valuable as they are right now, he will break their necks if they pose any treat towards Kagome.

"I am involved with the miko Kagome, who happens to be the Shikkon no Tama miko. For your own good, I hope you are not stupid enough to know that Naraku's power comes from the pearl and the witch Atsuki. You might be stupid enough to not realize that this means we need mikos to win. Naraku cannot be killed while he has the Shikkon no Tama, and we need mikos to deal with that." His eyes turn to Yuna, and for a moment, he lets her see his fury.

After all, now he can show more emotion. Kagome has rubbed on him too much, and if he is going to show emotion, he might as well do it usefully. "We have all isolated ourselves from the world, focusing only on our survival. This cannot be anymore. We have allowed Naraku to win ground, to win over us by using our own prejudices. If we are to survive, we will have to work together."

"But under you." Yuna manages to say through gritted teeth, insolent even in pain.

Sesshoumaru can appreciate the fighting spirit, the will to not bow to anyone, but he will not tolerate it. "Of course under me. No matter how many changes, the fact remains that I am stronger and wiser than you are. The mikos, Kouga's and Raiko's group are with me, and if you are smart, so will you."

A daring soul asks from over the youkai. "And if we don't?"

Sesshoumaru's face is calm, collected, as he delivers the next news. "Then you will be eliminated. I cannot have possible enemies running around, and it is too late to be neutral. Raiko, if you could tend to Yuna's injuries."

Sesshoumaru walks through the crowd of youkai, well aware that they are already on his side.

After this, only the winter youkai and he can go back to Kagome.

* * *

'There are bad days', Atsuki thinks, 'and then, there are good days.'

Obviously, it is not a good day for Naraku or Kagura.

It is a wonderful day for Atsuki.

Naraku, his eyes bloodshot and a malicious snarl on his mouth, has been shouting at Kagura for the last half hour. Sango, who looks so bored she might pass out any second, is sprawled on a sofa, right arm falling to the side, eyes blank. Inuyasha sits on the floor next to the sofa, a second from falling asleep as well.

Atsuki, on the contrary, looks as smug as a cat who plays with a poor mouse. She sips her green tea and casts Kagura a look of triumph.

It is no secret how much she hates the other youkai.

"You incompetent fool!" Naraku screams once more, grabbing Kagura by the shoulder and throwing her to the floor. "How could you let this happen?" his eyes narrow and he throws a nearby base against a wall. "Your job was to eliminate all the groups!"

"I eliminated as many as possible." Kagura replies, her eyes stuck to the floor, and not daring to raise her voice beyond a few tones over a whisper.

"It was not enough." Naraku yells, looking frankly about him, as if to find his next victim.

Inuyasha and Sango smartly glance away, while Atsuki just smiles.

Naraku will not do anything to her. Not after everything, she has done for him. The almost perfect use of the Shikkon no Tama, the puppet army, and now the Oni.

Fearsome and powerful, the giant horned demons now fight for Naraku.

Atsuki takes another sip from her green tea, Mali's favorite.

Mali…

Rumor has it she is now Kagome's teacher. Atsuki knows Mali, and she knows how deep her power goes. The miko was always too bright for her own good. Too pure, too powerful, too beautiful, too everything. Always making Atsuki look like nothing compared to her. Forever having what Atsuki wanted. She could destroy all she has been working on. Atsuki does not know how much she has taught Kagome, but anything is bad.

It is imperative that they kill Mali.

"How did you manage to leave the strongest ones alive? How could you not find them?"

Naraku is still screaming at Kagura. The female youkai has been messing up and Naraku is starting to get to the point where he thinks eliminating her might be better than keeping her.

"I will correct my mistakes," Kagura says, bowing to demonstrate how willing she is to erase her wrongs.

"Sesshoumaru is out there, uniting youkai. He already has the miko at his side, he has _Kagome_." He snarls. "She might not look it, and she was definitely not it before, but now she _is _our greatest enemy. Mali is training her. Sesshoumaru is protecting her, and if things keep going, she will have a youkai army to fight us back. This is the Shikkon no Tama miko, and no matter Atsuki's power, it will be nothing if the miko decides to eliminate the pearl." Naraku closes his eyes, tightens his teeth, tries not to explode and kill everyone around him.

Atsuki narrows her eyes, aware of how all her powers can do nothing if the Shikkon no Tama miko decides to claim what is hers to protect.

"You should remember that she probably has the last shard, as reports say she was chasing around for it, and now that she has disappeared from our radar…." Sango says all this in a matter of fact tone and shrugs. A small smile forms when Naraku goes into a rampage again. Chairs are thrown, a table is broken, and Kagura receives a kick to the side. She is smart enough not to even whimper.

Naraku picks Kagura from the floor and brings her eye level. "Track down Sesshoumaru." He snarls.

"And kill him?"

"No." Naraku says firmly, and without looking at Inuyasha, delivers the next orders.

"Inuyasha, you will go with her. Kill Sesshoumaru. Atsuki, you will go, too. It is most probable that Sesshoumaru is traveling with Mali or Kagome. Eliminate them. Sango, go as back up. Bring some puppets with you."

The corners of Inuyasha's lips curve into a twisted smile. Naraku does not have to order it of him. It is his utmost wish to destroy Sesshoumaru.

Atsuki finishes her tea. It has been almost a century since her path crossed Mali's. Once a best friend, she is now her most hated enemy. The witch still remembers the envy she always felt, the need to try to beat her, but it was for nothing. All the villagers saw was the beautiful miko Mali, with strength that could protect them from anything.

Atsuki was always the one they had to watch out for and she proved them right, didn't she?

Oh, yes. They wanted her to be evil, to hurt them, and she did more than that. She destroyed them, killed them all.

Except for Mali.

Ot is time to remedy that.

* * *

True to her word, Mali left Kagome alone until she got better. Unfortunately, it took but three days after Sesshoumaru's departure for her to get better. She slept and was occasionally interrupted by a miko that would bring her food, or on rare occasions, Shippo would eat with her.

Surprisingly, it was not awkward, although that could be because Kagome was more interested in trying to eat without throwing up.

She did not look forward to conversations with Shippo now that she was better.

But back to her current problem...

"Mmmm, you shoot a little to the left."

Kagome could feel the vein on her forehead popping. With great effort, she swallowed her snappy comment and focused once more on the target. Arrow, bow, pull back, focus, don't breathe, let go. She could hit any target, moving or still. It was very difficult for her to miss, and yet here she was, not even putting miko powers into the arrow, and practicing…

"Still to the left."

Kagome grits her teeth. She is practicing patience, apparently. Maybe this is a plan to make her think before acting. If so, it is a very lame plan, especially considering she has Sesshoumaru, and he would stop her from jumping into _anything _without at least taking a good look before.

Kagome took another arrow.

Mali stands next to her, arms crossed as she stares intently at the target. The old miko looks…considerably young, for being as old as she was. Just like the witch, she was forever trapped in a body little under thirty. If they aged, it had to be at the pace of a youkai.

"Maybe your arm is wrong." Mali announces all knowledge and wisdom.

"For Kami's sake, Mali, can't you shut up?" Kagome finally explodes. The miko and youkai training nearby discretely put distance between them. Three days of glorious sickness, followed by three weeks training with Mali and away from Sesshoumaru. Everyone is used to these outbursts by now.

It was not always target training. Sometimes they built her miko strength, tested her powers, hand-to-hand combat, and sword. Once, they had even tried to see if her miko powers could protect other youkai. Unfortunately, for the youkai, they can't. Kouga had yelled at them for about thirty minutes, which was the longest they had talked in three weeks. Okay, the longest he had avoided her eyes. Kagome called it progress. Maybe next time he would actually yell at her.

"Your aim should be perfect." Mali says, as if that was the most obvious thing.

"My aim is as perfect as it can be. I always hit."

"It's a little to the left."

"Arrrggg!" Kagome intelligently answers, throwing the bow to the ground. "What is your problem? Are you trying to get a rise out of me?" Her face must be red. Kagome can feel it heating from fury, but Mali looks so damned calm, and it only helps to make her angrier.

"Yes, I've been trying to find out the limit to your patience." Mali smirks at her. "The enemy will do the same, taunt you until you explode, so I wanted to know when to expect it, so I could interfere. Although, I'm pretty sure Sesshoumaru knows it by heart." If the miko could look more proud of herself, she would explode.

Kagome stares at Mali with bewilderment. She _can't_ believe it. It actually _is_ patience training.

"You…"

Mali raises a hand to stop her words. "Congratulations, Kagome, you last an hour more than you did last week. I believe we can make something out of you." The miko gives her another grin before turning and leaving Kagome seething.

"How dare…" She starts and then turns to find a victim, but no one is around her. "Aaarggg!" She yells once more, kicking the grass and walking away from target practice.

A walk through the woods should calm her. At least, Mali will not be there. Thankfully, the woman still trains her mikos rigorously. Only now, Kagome trains with them in the morning and Mali with them in the afternoon. Mali may be their leader, but Kagome is the Shikkon No Tama miko, which makes her the most important miko of them all. Like she needs even more responsibility.

She is beginning to get why Sesshoumaru was always so stuck up. Having so many people dependant of you could do that to someone.

Kagome sits on a clean-looking rock and allows the sun to warm her, or pretend to warm her. Really, it might as well go away with how chilly the day is. Kagome sighs. Nothing seems to be working out for her, her nerves are extra sensitive, and her patience is non-existent.

"Shouldn't you be training?"

Kagome does not jump as she hears the voice. The old Kagome would have. Too lost in her thoughts, she would not have sensed someone coming closer to her. This Kagome merely turns her head and gives him a weak smile. "Shippo." She greets, patting the space next to her after a bit of hesitation. Shippo accepts also after some hesitation.

Once, he would have jumped into her arms, and she would have had them opened for him. Two years are not supposed to be anything to a youkai. Even ten years are considered nothing.

These two years are different.

After all, in a way, didn't they both die?

Now, what was it Kagome had said? Oh, yes, she is Sesshoumaru's, and he is Kouga's.

"I decided to have a break. It was that or blowing up Mali." Kagome said, trying to make the situation lighter.

"The leader miko does…" Shippo tries to find a nice way to say 'make you go insane with frustration, annoyance, and a deep urge to kill', but thankfully, Kagome seems to get it.

"What are you doing here, Shippo?" Kagome's blue eyes are intense on him, her face just as serious.

Shippo is not sure how to treat this Kagome. Memories of the Kagome that took care of him, treated him like his child, flash in his brain, and yet the Kagome in front of him is not that one. She is too serious, too powerful, and too aware of her surrounding to be the old Kagome.

But he must say what no one else is saying.

"Why Sesshoumaru?" He does not like the idea. Of course, he understands Inuyasha is gone forever, that there is no way they could ever be together. Not in the past, and most definitely not now, but Sesshoumaru? When there is Kouga? "He is mean, Kagome, and how can…how can you choose him over Kouga?"

He wants to understand, because Kouga is a hero, he is what he wants to be when he grows up, and Sesshoumaru…powerful, untouchable youkai, how could he ever love Kagome the way she needs?

Shippo is not blind. He has seen the way the inu youkai looks at Kagome. His eyes follow her everywhere, and his senses are always tuned towards her. And he took care of her, for kami's sake! When she was sick, when she is not sick. He listens to her babbling, lets her touch him and even smile at her.

But, well, that was before he went away to find other youkai.

"He has always been there since this started." Kagome says, a smile forming on her smile.

"Kouga would have been there!" Shippo yells. "You didn't see him when he thought you were dead. He only kept going because he had so many people under him, but he was dead inside, Kagome. He has always loved you. He can love you like Sesshoumaru couldn't because he is not afraid of what other youkai will say. Do you really think Sesshoumaru can lead all this youkai with a miko by his side? That he could build back his empire with a human! He will ignore you when he comes back!"

The silence that comes after his sudden outburst is the loudest noise Shippo has ever heard. He can hear his heart bumping fast, his blood rushing to his ears. His eyes widen, and he waits for Kagome to explode and purify him to a better life…or at least a life where he will hopefully know how to keep his mouth shut.

"When it mattered. When I had nothing else," Kagome starts, and to his surprise, her voice is gentle, "he was there. He was even there when I was still with Inuyasha. Perhaps as background, but...he's always just...been there" Kagome smiles so gently it hurts Shippo. "Sesshoumaru…is selfish and has a god complex. Sometimes, I just want to strangle him. Of course, he is a jerk and border line racist, but…you see, he brought me back to life because a dying human girl begged him to, and he stuck to my side because of the same promise. He could have turned his back to me, to Rin, to all of us, but he did not. He wants revenge, not because of his land, but because of the people he lost, and even if he will not admit it, even Inuyasha is part of them. He stands with Mali and Kouga and everyone else not because he doesn't have anything better to do, but because he knows this is our last chance." Kagome looks Shippo directly in his eyes. Her gaze seems to glow, a fire inside of them. "He could walk away. Naraku would leave him alone, but he is still here. Always here. And me…I…" Kagome closes her eyes briefly, and when she opens them, they are so sad, Shippo aches to embrace her. And he understands, a bit, why she is so set on Sesshoumaru.

"I know things between us will most certainly change. I was stupid, I didn't tell him I loved him, and I think now might be too late. There is a war to win, and a world to recover, and he…well, he will be the leader of so many, once more the powerful Sesshoumaru, and not…" Kagome sighs, looks at the sky, "not my Sesshoumaru anymore, but that is alright." She turns to Shippo and smiles.

This…this is so Kagome he really wants to smack her. Hard. Didn't she learn anything with Inuyasha? Is she a masochist? All the sadness he felt for her evaporates, leaving anger.

"Kagome…don't be stupid again." That, Shippo thinks, pretty much resumes everything. "You did that with Inuyasha. If…if you can't see how good Kouga would be for you, then at least fight for Sesshoumaru, even if he is just an arrogant jerk. You fight for everyone. Why not for yourself?"

Shippo decides this is as much as he can get with before Kagome decides to kill him. Just one more thing, while she is still in shock at his words. "And if Kouga has no chance, at least talk to him. He has always been there, too. You've just never seen him."

* * *

Naraku feels trapped.

Kagura and company have already left, and the plan to kill Sesshoumaru is already in motion. Inuyasha is vicious, and much stronger than he was before he killed him, but Sesshoumaru…

There is a reason Naraku did not try to kill Sesshoumaru in the first place. He does not know how strong the taiyoukai is. His hopes were that he would not want to interfere once he lost everything.

Kagome had made all this crash down. He hadn't factored her in. Hadn't thought Sesshoumaru would ever help her. If it hadn't been for Rin's words… he should have killed the girl instead of taunting Sesshoumaru.

It's too late for that.

Sesshoumaru is building an army, and he already has the miko group on his side. By what he knows, he surely is hiding wherever Kouga is. The wolf is good. Try as he might, Naraku has not been able to find his hideout.

That means Sesshoumaru already has one of the biggest rebel groups on his side. From that, he will surely move to Raiko's and Yuna's, and then Shiori. The last will be the winter youkai, and for the first time since Atsuki helped him, Naraku sees danger in the world he now rules. But he will not let it grow bigger.

He will squash them all, make them wish they had never dared set foot on him. They will be slaves at his feet, except Sesshoumaru, the last son of the West, who he will destroy.

Naraku sits in his dark throne room, red eyes glimmering in the dark.

Maybe if he'll even make that troublesome miko his slave. Wouldn't it be nice to have the Shikkon no Tama miko as his?

* * *

Kagome is left with the arduous job of trying to comprehend what just happened. She blinks, wondering if a child youkai really just gave her that sermon. Seriously, she knows he is much more mature now, but he is still a child, and…

How _can _he know?

Of all the people that could have told her, it was Shippo. Shippo, who has no love story and cannot possibly know what she is going through…,

And somehow makes more sense than anyone else.

Of course, Kouga chooses to materialize right at that moment.

Stupid Shippo probably sent him.

Kagome looks at the youkai she could have loved, loved to a certain degree. She looks at the youkai that could make her happy, that wants to make her happy beyond anything else, and is filled with sadness.

She already loves someone, much more than she ever loved anyone else, and whatever chance she might have had with this wonderful youkai is impossible.

She was able to be with him for two months without caring about Inuyasha, but she could never do that with Sesshoumaru in her life.

Even if it's hopeless with him, how could she ever be with anyone but the dog demon? How could she let someone else touch her, or another's lips cover her own? How could she do it without thinking of the silver hair youkai?

It cannot be.

Besides, Kagome already has a plan.

She will very happily finish Naraku and become a hermit. She will go with the wind or, if by some divine miracle, is permitted to go back to her own time; she'll…dedicate herself to her studies and never think of men, Youkai. Whatever. Free like the wind or married to her studies. Kagome likes her thoughts. They are nice and uncomplicated, and of course, very unrealistic.

Kouga is looking at her like she might die again.

"It's never going to be our right time, is it?" Kouga says, and it feels like a punch, like ice falling over her, or like opportunity escaping.

She wishes she could love him, but she doesn't. Shippo is right. She has never seen him, and when she did, it was briefly, and she put him in the background just as quickly. Kagome gives him the most heartbreaking smile.

This youkai would have given anything for her. Loyal, compassionate, possessive, protective, passionate, tender…he is everything she's always been looking for in a man. He is the youkai who she should have fallen in love with. The one man whom her heart should belong to. He'd catch her when she fell, let her cry when needed, and make her laugh when life got to be too much.

If she had met him first, if she hadn't loved Inuyasha so much, if meeting Sesshoumaru hadn't been so tragic, so life changing, so…

She could have, maybe would have, left Inuyasha for him. After time and many mistakes, maybe she could have walked away from the hanyou.

But now there is Sesshoumaru, strong, beautiful, with stupidly soft hair and mind blowing golden eyes.

Sesshoumaru, who brought her back to life in more than the literal way, who she put before Inuyasha, before Shippo, and before Sango.

She looks at the youkai in front of her, at those horribly sad eyes, and desolate air.

He is right, of course.

There are people who are right for you, perfect, and would make you immensely happy. The kind that borders on ridiculous. People that would make your life easy, that _are _easy to love. It would be right, like a dance long ago learned.

Yet…

"No." And the truth hurts because she does not even want to love him, like she so desperately wished sometimes when she was with Inuyasha. She does not want to do the effort, to forget about Sesshoumaru, and start with Kouga.

Some happily ever endings are simply not for you.

"You can't love me." His voice does not break, even if the youkai himself looks like he is about to do so.

"No, I…I could have, maybe, when it was Inuyasha, but with Sesshoumaru…"

"Why him?" So lost, so hurt, maybe Kagome should have stayed dead for him. Perhaps it would have been less painful.

"He…understands me, is there for me, he makes me smile and yell, and he makes me want to live to my fullest, and…it is natural to me. To love Sesshoumaru…it takes me no effort."

"He is not right for you."

Kagome gives a small laugh. "Oh no, he is completely wrong for me. I wouldn't have chosen him myself, but you see? We fit, somehow, and now, well, I guess we fit so well we forgot how to disentangle ourselves."

"I love you."

Kagome takes a deep breath before her next words. "Yes, but to me, you are just a friend. A dear friend, but nothing more."

When Kouga turns without another word and walks away, Kagome does not stop him even though she want to. She never meant to cause Kouga pain. He was her friend. She wanted him to be happy and smile that cocky smile like he used to, but things were never going to be the same. Not for any of them.

'I miss Sesshoumaru.' She thinks miserably. 'I missed him since before he left, but now…'

Now it's goddamn intolerable.

The biggest problem is not even that he is not here, where he should be, but where he is going, probably already is.

They fought, trained, slept, ate, freaking lived with no one around them. For two and something years, it was them against the world, and somehow, even though they were in the middle of a dying world, it was safe.

It was safe to be with Sesshoumaru.

There was no one to judge them, to frown upon them, and to remind Sesshoumaru that he was older, wiser, above Kagome's league. Kagome was not stupid. She knew Sesshoumaru's ideas on humans. He treated all the mikos like mere nuisances, and the youkai like a necessary bad. It was only she that was spared Sesshoumaru's …arrogance.

But now…

The miko's opinion was of no importance to Sesshoumaru, and he would rather listen to them than to Kouga, who was the one closest to Sesshoumaru's power, and still too far. Sesshoumaru was out to get powerful youkai into their ranks. Youkai whose opinions actually mattered. Youkai that would surely frown upon them, maybe not even follow them if mikos were involved. If _she_ was involved with Sesshoumaru.

It's been a lifetime, but Kagome can still remember those icy eyes on her, or rather, looking through her. He never really looked at her, did he? She was always a pest, Inuyasha's miko, and nothing more.

Kagome runs a hand through her hair, fists it there, wishes, fervently, that nothing changes between them, but they will, won't they? They already have.

When he comes back, what will happen with them?

She shakes her head madly.

No.

Whatever changes between with Sesshoumaru and her, it does not matter. She will concentrate, continue training, and she will do it not just for Sesshoumaru, but for her. Because she owes it to the world and herself to be better.

* * *

**Ok, so another chapter, and I swear I will finish this story, whatever it takes. Review!**


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